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Drakon-Deus
Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
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posted October 16, 2024 12:23 PM |
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____________
Horses don't die on a dog's wish.
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted October 16, 2024 03:19 PM |
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Y'all my life has been taken.
I am afraid to walk to a store let alone go in society and make something of myself.
I may have agoraphobia.
And what woman would date an agoraphobia guy who can't even go outside without having a panic attack.
I look at life and I have no purpose. Just eat and keep my brain entertained enough to get through day after day.
But I don't like videogames like I used to.
I've seen pretty much every movie there is to see.
I'm tired of TV
my music library is getting older every year with nothing much new.
People don't understand. They say just go outside. But they haven't gone through what I have which I have to admit is hard to believe.
I don't know if I am sad, tired, or what probably both.
I am thinking about equipping myself with bags full of change and loot and various "drops" and engaging a somewhat comedic death.
I feel this is the only worthwhile place I can explain these things too without being thrown into pajamas in a psych ward.
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Blizzard
Adventuring Hero
Where the hell is my driveway?
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posted October 16, 2024 11:26 PM |
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Edited by Blizzard at 23:54, 16 Oct 2024.
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Celfious, brother, you need to call a clinic or a hotline and tell them about these things. They won't throw you in a psych ward. That isn't how they do things. They will help you make life meaningful but you can't just keep consuming media over and over. That won't work. Agoraphobia is not untreatable but it does take time. There are people who can help with this.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted October 17, 2024 09:16 AM |
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There is no medical cure to loss of appetite for life, they will only flock with with pills so you lose conscience of your emptiness.
Only way to get out from this spiral is family and various passions, like reading, learning something then teaching it, making music, making some arts in general. Find one or another, if both even better. Setting a personal goal, as losing weight or/and putting on some muscle, which will required a healthy every day discipline also does wonders.
Don't stay apathetic, you will become a burden for your friends and things will go worse.
Of course, the best is get a girlfriend, but usually girls fall for confident boys, not crawling depressed limp wiener owners. That's why you have to work on yourself first.
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Era II mods and utilities
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted October 17, 2024 09:48 AM |
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Salamandre said:
It's easy to say that when you're not dealing with the challenges Celf is facing. Medication isn't just about numbing you out. I have a friend with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia who found real relief after seeking help and starting treatment. Now, he's back to creating music, caring for his family, and feeling much better overall. So I wouldn't be quick to dismiss Blizz's advice.
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted October 17, 2024 10:53 AM |
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Edited by Celfious at 11:02, 17 Oct 2024.
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I have agoraphobia because I talked really bad trash to relatives of their relative, a guy who got 30 years in jail for trapping people in a basement women and kids. The son actually traveled across the country the 3rd time he found me and they have gangs helping them for some reason.
The world isn't safe wether I'm on meds or not these sickos keep stalking me. I met them through work over 20 years ago and the staking started about 2-3 years ago after I talked trash about the dad. Trapping kids and women who knows how many.
I'm pretty tired of not being able to go out and live life.
I appreciate the support but I'm basically stuck in an apartment scared people will come through the window half the time.
Even if I'm "cured" I still have threats lurking. My life might as well be over because this is t life.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted October 17, 2024 11:24 AM |
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@Galaad
One speaks from his experience as well, like your friend, but I also know people who didn't make it through the medical care, it was a disaster. Because what doctors do, basically, is looking for a chemical fix, but ignoring all the wrong life decisions which lead you where you are.
Beside, I sleep less than 2 hours a day, when very lucky, and that was for 30 years long, a constant struggle without any pause. Your body can't handle it, it gets sicker every day passing, your mental is fading fast, your memory and concentration are on life support, your appetite for anything goes down, and from my experience the medical staff was helpless.
All you have is your will to accept you won't live like everyone else, that you will not have access anymore to same distractions, passions and hobbies, and from then to take the right decisions in order to survive, which is heavy discipline and know yourself to the point of being able to avoid and hide inevitable failures. Or kill yourself, there is too much taboo around this, it is still a rational option, if too much suffering.
Complaining about doesn't help at all, because all what people around can do is lie to you, as long as they don't experience the same burden, nor found by themselves a solution. So, it's an easy choice, go for a lie, or go for a cold shower and wake up.
I don't say refuse any medical help, try it so that option gets eliminated fast. You and Blizz are right while I wasn't clear enough in my post, medical care is what you should seek first, in order to see if your problems don't come from a medical condition only, as chemical unbalanced production. My advice, for what is worth, was more for people experiencing various forms of depression as I understand from Celfious post. Obviously, when you have a medical condition as schizophrenia or worse altering your perception of realities, pills will keep you somehow functional.
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Era II mods and utilities
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted October 17, 2024 12:15 PM |
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Edited by Ghost at 12:19, 17 Oct 2024.
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Clozapine? Your own risk, if you want to cure..
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted October 17, 2024 02:30 PM |
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I got one Romanian vodka, and LIDL's Ingis Rasberry Vodka is also the world's famous and awards winners vodka.. Why not Aldi Vodka? Awards winner too.. Ingis Rasberry beat the Crystal Head Vodka by price and Grey Goose by taste.. But Ingis is made in France, and only LIDL store in London.. It pays in about Ł17-18 / 0,7l..
Ok 3126 alcohol lexes, 6091 drug lexes, and a total of 9217 lexes..
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted October 17, 2024 03:20 PM |
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@Sal
I understand your point more clearly now. Thanks for explaining it further.
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Blizzard
Adventuring Hero
Where the hell is my driveway?
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posted October 17, 2024 06:06 PM |
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Edited by Blizzard at 18:19, 17 Oct 2024.
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@Celfious
You need to get in touch with a clinic and tell them about this and to get a 2nd opinion about whether somebody is really stalking you or not. They probably aren't. If somebody wanted to kidnap you they probably would have kidnapped you already.
Besides, you yourself said that you are having suicidal thoughts. So, are you really afraid to die? So what if somebody is stalking you? What do you have to lose? You need to talk to somebody about this in a non-judgemental environment. There are many people in the world who truly do care. The world is not so bad. The people who are willing to help outnumber the people who are not, but you need to take a risk and open yourself up to them. If you do, you won't regret it.
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted October 17, 2024 07:56 PM |
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Now K lexes are large, so (Oo) is showing, but I still fix them..
oasis (o/US/slang) a liquor store
O'Brien Belgian Ale (n) a brand of Australian speciality beer
obstbrand/obstler/obstwasser/öbstler (o) a traditional type of schnapps made by fermenting macerated fruit and distilling to produce a clear, unsweetened fruit brandy from Germany
odontol (n) a traditional drink in Cameroon and is distilled from palm wine, or corn or sugar cane
Oeil de Perdrix (o) a rosé [wine] produced in Switzerland
off (adj/US/slang) drunk
oghee (see) oghi
oghi (o) an Armenian alcoholic beverage made from various fruits such as apricots, grapes, pears and plums
oil (n/US/black slang) alcohol, esp. wine (verb/UK/US/Sc./slang) to drink; to become drunk; to render drunk
oiled [up] (pp adj/US/slang) drunk
oiler (n/US/slang) a heavy drinker
oilhead (n/US/slang) a drunkard
Okocim Mistrzowski Porter (n) a brand of Polish beer
Olaf Northern Comfort Imperial Stout (n) a brand of Finnish beer
Old Forester Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whisky 100 Proof (n) a brand of American whiskey
old horsey (n/US/slang) strong, illegally manufactured whiskey
Old Kempton Distillery The Old Stables (pn/o) a brand of Australian whiskey
Old Monk (n) a brand of Indian dark rum
Old Pilot's Vodka (n) a brand of Croatian vodka
Old Rip Van Winkle (n) a Kentucky Straight Bourbon whiskey
Old Young's Pavlova (n) a brand of Australian flavo(u)red vodka
Old Young's Smoked (o) a brand of Australian flavo(u)red vodka
oloroso (n/Span.) a type of sherry, darker and smoother than fino sherry, used as a base for sweetened sherries
One Barrel Rum (n) a brand of Belizean rum
on the blink (adj/US/slang) drunk
on the dry (adj/US/slang) in a state of refraining from drinking any alcohol
on the grog (adj/Austr./slang) very drunk
on the nod (adj/US/slang) drunk
on the rocks (adj/US/slang) served over ice
on the sauce (adj/US/slang) 1 drinking heavily and consistently 2 drunk
on the wagon (adj/US/slang) abstaining from drinking alcohol
Orchard Pig Truffler (n) a brand of Irish sparkling cider
organized (pp adj/US/slang) drunk
orie-eyed (adj/US/slang) drunk
Original Ritterguts Gose (o) a German beer brand
ork-orks (pn/o/US/slang) the delirium tremens
orujo (n/Span.) a pomace brandy from northern Spain
ossified (pp adj/US/slang) very drunk
Ottakringer Bio-Zwickl (o/Aus./dial.) a brand of Austrian lager beer
Oude Geuze Boon (n) a brand of Belgian beer
out (adj/US/slang) drunk
outfit (n/US/slang) a still used in the illegal production of alcohol
out of sight (adj/US/slang) drunk
out of the game (adj/UK/slang) incoherent, unconscious, collapsed (through drink)
out of the way (adj/US/slang) drunk
ouzo (n/Gr.) a dry anise-flavo(u)red apéritif that is widely consumed in Greece
overboard (adj/US/slang) drunk
over the bay (adj/US/slang) drunk
overproof (n) containing a greater proportion of alcohol than proof spirit, esp. containing more than 50 percent alcohol by volume
owled (see) owl-eyed
owl-eyed (adj/US/slang) drunk
oyokpo (o) a traditional Nigerian beer made from fermented millet, a cereal crop, sometimes with the addition of sorghum
Östersjö Vodka (n) a brand of Swedish vodka
Őllenaut Must Eksport (o) a brand of Estonian beer
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purerogue3
Adventuring Hero
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posted October 18, 2024 05:34 PM |
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Celfious, you don't sound like too bad a guy, buy I'm sure you're sticking your nose where it don't belong - has it occured to you that maybe this girl the 'bad guys' are supposedly imprisoning is actually wanting to do that in a sick way, and those guys after you are her brothers are something?
I really cannot have sympathy for the One Direction guy who just offed himself - called his gf a 'loser' for leaving.. and he got dropped by his record label. What a baby.
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted October 18, 2024 06:24 PM |
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purerogue3
Adventuring Hero
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posted October 18, 2024 07:06 PM |
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My mom had light Schizo.. i think.
Got particularly worst with cancer. Now 70+ haven't heard of it for a long time, I tnink it's because I heckled /PUA(=brainwash) it out of her.
what is the line between 'real' and imagined symptoms? unknown.. but the brain can be persuaded of a lot of things
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted October 18, 2024 08:09 PM |
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Now's tequila 2023.. What do I know about tequila? When my eyes had opened that single malt, single grain, etc and then single malt single cask, etc so blended, blended malt also flavoured, Tennessee, Bourbon, but American oak cask, etc so many whiskey species..
What about tequila? Blanco, joven, anejo, extra anejo, cristalino, reposada, mixtro and flavoured.. also single estate tequila, and then only oak cask..
I've a word, not only brands 
The world's finest alcoholic beverages are tequila, whiskey and coqnac..
Alcohol 3200 lexes
Drug 6091 lexes
= 9291 lexes
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted October 19, 2024 04:06 AM |
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@DD
Cierto Tequila (n) the Most Awarded Tequila in History with international medals and awards to over 1000, and is made in Jalisco, Mexico
Is grammar ok?
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted October 19, 2024 06:45 AM |
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I'm better now I got some medicinal reefer.
I'm going to read the replies which were not what I was seeking. I am not attention seeking.
This is legitimately the only community I could have said "I seek the black ambulance" with the techno lasers. In my coffin.
And not get thrown into a worthless lab because my brain is worth countless dollars man.
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted October 19, 2024 06:47 AM |
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Blizzard said:
@Celfious
You need to get in touch with a clinic and tell them about this and to get a 2nd opinion about whether somebody is really stalking you or not.
Joe he walked up on me in 3 different locations around the states. Don't offend me with questions to my sanity. The last time dressed in black on a Sunday morning 4am on street camera.
Please don't question my sanity.
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted October 19, 2024 06:49 AM |
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Honestly you're the 100th person to act like I lost my gourde
I never had or wanted a gorde
Kapeech3?
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This thread is pages long: 
