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Heroes Community > Bards Glade Pyre (RPG) > Thread: Fun Fiction (RPG)
Thread: Fun Fiction (RPG)

Hired Hero
posted September 04, 2002 10:28 AM

Fun Fiction (RPG)

       The tale of a Hero

   I was born in a humble house with lots of brothers and sisters.We had a simple life,
     working on the farm and what growed whe went to the market near a Castle and sold it.I didn't like
     my life but could I have done I was a simple farmer nothing more.I always wanted to
     become a Crusader at Dunvall serving Loynis.I always apreciated him for what he did
     for us the peasants and he thought us that violence is not necesarry as long proper magic
     and Prayer could be invoked.People said that one day a peasant will born who will save
     Dunvall from a gigantic battle lead by Calh a Demoniac which hundreds of heroes and after
     every battle the power of the heroes he kiledd became his .No one belived this of course it was
     only a legend.
   I never thought that I woukd ever be in my life a fighter as much I wanted but one day
     my mother sent me to Dunvall in the market to buy some mercury.I was vrealy excited
     because i have never realy seen a Castle from inside.The huge gate was opened and I entered.
     Inside as I always imagined  it was beatiful ,as walking to the market I saw a Colossus.
     I was extraordinaly amazed because I knew a few things about the Colossus: it was made
     from gold and the people become rich in that town making more kids so more soldiers could
     be recruited, also Griffins were flying over the town guarding and alerting any possible
     attacks,Monks and Zealots were practicing their magic and the Archangles where healing the
     injuried heroes and troops from previous battles.I saw Loynis and I  went there.He said:
      " Hi Christiam how are you today"
      " Thank you master Loynis I am fine "
      " What do you think about our town? "
      Before I said anything a Marksmen yelled :
      "Attack,Attack were are under attack."
      "Go under shelter" said Loynis.
      "No, I want to help "
      "If your life is precious hide"and he went into the battle and dissapered into the desperate
       crowd running to shelter.           To be continued

 Hope u like it!  

        "  Heroes are power ,power is experience ,experience is The Hero,The Hero are YOU.     "        

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Supreme Hero
Thx :D
posted September 04, 2002 02:27 PM

Nice story ..toobad your english isn't that good

Don't get me wrong but it makes it more difficult to read

please continue

ps: I would like to have a thread with all the fan fiction into one so if you finish the story maybe someone could put them all in one thread
The darkest skies show the brightest stars

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Hired Hero
posted September 06, 2002 10:12 PM

    prt 2
    I couldn't just stay there .I saw a sword and took it.It was a very heavy.I went on the battlefield
    and joined the other Swordsmen.When we got there I thought I will die instantly not because of
    arrow, because of the enemy who was the evil itself:Calh the demoniac,with hundreds of troops
    including 30 or 35 devils and over 300 imps.The profecy became real and  then it was when I
    realized that we will be doomed.The battle was horrible :the 30 devils atacked our Archangels who only were
    10 and 4 of them died ,the Marksmen shot from the towers at the imps and 17 of them died.I myslef killed
    20 imps and i Hell hounf but I think it was luck.Anyway Loynis invoked Prayer and then I felt a mysitcal
    power inside me and it was like I am uninvincible.Most of the troops morale increased but still we were
    strongly outnumbered.Suddenly it got dark and Calh said somenthing an incantation or something and
    and then a borning rock felt and kiled our 5 more of our Archangels only one remained.After this more and more
    burning rocks came down and almost everyone died.A swordsmen yelled:
      " Take shelter it's The Armagheddon spell"
      "Why doesn't the spell affect them?" I asked.
      "Because Calh has the Armagheddon's Blade and that protects them.
    No!! could this be the end it can't be it's to soon.
      "You will die Calh " I screamed and began running towards Calh.
      "Let me kill him " said a Devil.
      "No I will handle him personally he is a great fighter maybe to good for you ,he's mine"
   A ligthing bolt hit Loynis who felt on the ground and died.Anger grew bigger and bigger and
     I didn't care about wounds or something else just to kill Calh.When I got to Calh he was alone
     "Come human kill me if you can "
     "I will "and with the sword i tried to cut him but he ducked and with a spell he hit me.
   I flew a few meters then suddenly evertyhing became white  To be continued

  sorry for my english im from romania and i learn english at school

        "  Heroes are power ,power is experience ,experience is The Hero,The Hero are YOU.     "        

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Supreme Hero
Thx :D
posted September 06, 2002 10:15 PM

oh no..you don't have to say sorry..it's not your fault ..i just said it makes it a bit harder to read..It's ok
The darkest skies show the brightest stars

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Famous Hero
posted September 07, 2002 01:15 AM

Oohh... this is a little bit more so than the other fan fictions, I have read, but please please please (to everyone who writes fan-fics, or writing in general) DON'T say exactly how many creatures you have unless it is very very significant! Mentioning something like "Dozens of pegasi" is fine, as is "Three titans" since titans are so big and pack a lot of punch, and the reader should be worried about those three titans. However, saying things like "We had 20 wyverns, and 10 were killed" makes me cringe. It is baaad when you do that, as if someone just stopped the battle and counted the dead wyverns instantly, and basically takes away from the story.

P.S. Dialogue is great, but try to make it move toward something... not just
"I don't like you."
"How about I serve a dish of hurt?"
"No, you are!"

This way, you don't sound so bland.


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Hired Hero
posted September 12, 2002 05:25 AM

know here comes the


   Then I sort of travelled between thousands of lights and colours.After that I felt on grass .I stood up
   and looked around ,everything around me was green.A nice and quite place.I started walking around
   and i saw a few people walking.I went to them and asked:
      "Excuse me where am I?"
      "You will find out soon"said a man with a big white beard and they dissapeared .I then heard a
  voice calling me :
      "Come Christian come"
      "Who are you"
      "Look behind you and you will see"I turned around and saw my Loynis.
      "Is that you master Loynis,I can't believe"
      "I know you are God and I am in heaven"
      "You are in heaven but I am not God I was sent to speak with you"
      "What happened on the battlefield,who won  ?"
      "Let me show you."he created a sort of window and there I could see Calh and his troops winning.
      "Nooooo will the world be doomed?"
      "No my son,you will change all of this"
      "Me i am a simple peasent why me?"
      "Because you fought with a tremenduos courage and proven that you deserve a second chance"
      "So you are sayin that I am The Chosen one who will save the world?"
      "Yes my son but don't forget never make abuse of the power you will be given because everything
       will be destroyed the whole word"
      "Why master Loynis"
      "Long,long ago good and evil made a pact which said that if evil will make abuse of it's power
       then a hero will be born who will erradicate the evil"
      "But how can good exist without evil?
      "Only evil from earth will be destroyed evil itself can't be destroyed"
      "Because of the people who live on Earth as long as hate exists evil exist to if people would
       be able to defeat hate in their soul evil would stop existing."
      "I understand"after explaining the menaing of my life master Loynis said a few words i vreally
  couldn't understand and a great flash was around me and when it dissapeared I was stronger smarter and
  I could cast all kind of magic.Master Loynis said:
      "These are the powers I promised and be careful don't make abuse of them, go my son"
  Then I stared to fly down on the battlefield,everyone was amazed even Calh.I reached ground and then saw
  how our troops were almost all dead.Calh said:
      "How could this be I killed you"  
      "No Calh I will kill you and your troops"I started a long incantation and when I finshed all of the troops
  that were dead came alive twice as they were and we killed Calh's troops but unfortunately Calh escaped.That is when
  i truly realized that evil will be never destroyed as long as hate exists in our souls.
      "Everyone go home the battle is over"
  After this I myslef went home and when my mother saw me she couldn't believe.I went kissed her and my whole family and
  then like became normall.I lost my powers and contnued to live my life as a simple peasant but i was happy that evil stopped
  existing knowing that only for a while.Words spread fast and the King heard about me and called me to him.
  I went to the king's castle "Kingston" were the king himself was waiting for me:  
      "You my son have saved the world that is why i want to give you a gift"
      "What my king?"
      "From this moment you are Sir Christian and the whole army of my kingdom will be under your command"
      "Thank you my king I will try to be a good leader"
 After becomeing a general I fought a lot of battles and then I knew that EVIL WILL NEVER BE DESTROYED......  

             THE END
 This being my first fun fiction  story hope you liked it

        "  Heroes are power ,power is experience ,experience is The Hero,The Hero are YOU.     "        

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