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ratmonky
Famous Hero
Abu Hur Ibn Rashka
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posted October 01, 2004 05:52 PM |
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Making a Baby
just found this, really funny
Making a Baby
The Smiths had no children, since Mr. Smith couldn't get it up, so they decided to use a proxy father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon. Good luck!"
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.
Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my God!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to Central Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, er..,um.., ah.... equipment?"
"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod??" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!"
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted October 01, 2004 05:57 PM |
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted October 02, 2004 12:44 AM |
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Haha, good one!
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted October 02, 2004 05:37 AM |
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Hehehe, thats funny. Nice to have a laugh after a long night out!
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stargazer
Famous Hero
hero of order and life
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posted October 12, 2004 07:11 AM |
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my god thatwas humorus
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When we are young
Wandering the face of the Earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we're only Mortal for a little while
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted October 13, 2004 05:05 AM |
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If it wasn't such an obvious copy & paste it might be worth a QP.
If anyone can come up with this kind of material originally then that's the reward.
But!!
No excess crudity.
No profanity.
Have fun.
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted October 13, 2004 05:10 AM |
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Edited By: Dingo on 12 Oct 2004
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Qp or not, it's still funny.
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted October 13, 2004 05:12 AM |
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Oooh we're so CoC.
So?
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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ratmonky
Famous Hero
Abu Hur Ibn Rashka
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posted October 13, 2004 05:19 PM |
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i thought it was very funny that is why i posted it.
and i don't care much about qps, i already got one 
edit: btw i noticed that many ppl have received qps for copy-paste material in the past
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted October 14, 2004 03:26 AM |
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Yes, but I wasn't a Mod then.
Standards are a bit higher these days, since by now all the copy paste material floating around the net has been seen by just about everyone before
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted January 07, 2005 06:48 AM |
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I read it again. Lmao again.
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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tigerangelz
Known Hero
Angelic Tigress
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posted January 07, 2005 07:27 PM |
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted January 07, 2005 10:23 PM |
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I re-read it as well, and I still like it. Wonder who made it up.
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted January 09, 2005 10:35 AM |
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Man, that was sure uncomfortable.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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