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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: Were you spanked as a child?
Thread: Were you spanked as a child? This thread is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT»
Asmodean
Asmodean


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
posted April 24, 2005 05:11 PM

Poll Question:
Were you spanked as a child?

Afet Lith-Maethor's thread about a 5-year old girl who had to be arrested because she threw a mega-tantrum in school I immediately had these thoughts:

If kids were properly disciplined would they be so disruptive in school?

Does spanking a child cause harmful effects in later life, or does it serve as an effective deterrant of bad behaviour?

I have more to say on this issue, but I want to hear other members views before I post them.

Most especially I would like to hear from members with children, but anyone with younger brothers/sisters/cousins will have valid points to make as well.

Responses:
Yes, and it didn't do me any harm
No, my parents didn't believe in it
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privatehudson
privatehudson


Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
posted April 24, 2005 06:28 PM

Where's the option for "yes and it turned me into a homicidal maniac?"
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!

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Korejora
Korejora

Promising

posted April 24, 2005 07:06 PM
Edited By: Korejora on 24 Apr 2005

Does being a child count?

Yes, in fact, sometimes my mother would hit me with a wooden spoon. My father has convinced her that it's not necessary any more, by now, though.

I don't think I turned out as a terrible person, but that's really up to other people to judge.
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That's the best part.

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terje_the_ma...
terje_the_mad_wizard


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Disciple of Herodotus
posted April 24, 2005 07:26 PM

My parents never hit me, and I turned out just ok. I think hitting children do more bad than good, really.
____________
"Sometimes I think everyone's just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending to be brave is how you get brave, I don't know."
- Grenn, A Storm of Swords.

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Marelt_Ekiran
Marelt_Ekiran


Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
posted April 24, 2005 07:44 PM

Okay, it has been established. Improper discipline creates commies.

A young child simply doesn't understand reasoning. The only way to get your point across is by a basic feedback loop: "You do this, it will hurt".
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Perception is everything.

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terje_the_ma...
terje_the_mad_wizard


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Disciple of Herodotus
posted April 24, 2005 08:01 PM

But "it will hurt" doesn't have to be physical "hurt". Psychological boundaries will do the job just as well, only only better.

But I guess mam and dad are too busy makin money to spend the time required to do this with their children..,
____________
"Sometimes I think everyone's just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending to be brave is how you get brave, I don't know."
- Grenn, A Storm of Swords.

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Daddy
Daddy


Responsible
Supreme Hero
and why not.
posted April 24, 2005 08:37 PM
Edited By: Daddy on 24 Apr 2005

spanked? Well, nope, not really. It happened veeery rarely, when I did sth really "bad"/or similar, like once, I think, I acted follishly with sth pointy and nearly stabbed my mom in the face (i wasn#t quite nice before, too) so at some/this point it was simply too much - But even at this times it was a slap on the cheek and nth more.

My parents never thought that hitting is a good method for raising hildren
So do I.

reg
Daddy

edit: because of the last paragraph, I voted no.
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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted April 24, 2005 09:10 PM

Pretty much the same as with Daddy, only I never attempted to stab anyone Also vote no.

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted April 24, 2005 11:04 PM

Lets here your reason Asmodean before we post anymore.
It seems you found out some stuff & it wouldnt be wise if you change your answer etc if we say yes we turned out for the better good if we got hit in any way or if we have not then i will say my piece in it.
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Svarog
Svarog


Honorable
Supreme Hero
statue-loving necrophiliac
posted April 25, 2005 03:05 AM
Edited By: Svarog on 24 Apr 2005

Voted YES. In fact coming from a different background than most of you, i have to say that my parents used physical coercion measures far too often to even remember. And I dont mean spanked, I mean getting a proportional hitting for the seriousness of the crime I did. I wasnt a saint by all means, most of the time I was hit because my lil sister was hit. By me. Me and my little sis would hit each other a lot (actually more like a one-way relation ), which I'm convinced is a result because my parents always truthfully demonstrated that violence is acceptable punishment for ill behavior. So that made me also ready to "punish" my poor sister whenever I felt she violeted one of my "own laws". And the cycle my parents' parents, and their parents' parents began, continued.
Today, I think its absolutely wrong to hit your kids, no matter what they do. People say that sometimes children do nasty things that absolutely beg for spanking (and which by that time is the only efficient counter-measure, which is true in a way), but they forget that the reason why their kids reached that level of totally unacceptable behavior is precisely their past failiures in parenting, which didnt require spanks.

PS: I'm not sure if a turned out fine. I guess bettter than the frenzy girl there, but I still have some issues. For one, I think I'm sexually attracted to my grandfather.
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The meek shall inherit the earth, but NOT its mineral rights.

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Asmodean
Asmodean


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
posted April 25, 2005 03:43 AM

Well I WAS spanked as a child, because I was unruly. No amount of talking would have convinced me not to do what I wanted. I was the kind of brat that thought he was smarter than his parents.

A simple slap on the ass does no harm in my books - sometimes kids need it as a last resort.
If all my parent's would do was talk to me then why would I have bothered to listen to them?

It's the same today. Parents and teachers and police are hedged in with so many laws these days that half of them will turn a blind eye to problems rather than do what is needed and be faced with a lawsuit.

____________

To err is human, to arr is pirate.

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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted April 25, 2005 08:15 AM

Yeah...

I was hit, spanked, whipped, thrown, kicked, choked, flogged, hair pulled, bitten, and beaten to unconsciousness. I remember one time when my younger brother had to beg my mother not to kill me. She was going to stab me with a pair of garden shears. After he convinced her to lower the those clippers, I never thought of her the same ever again.

Yes I was hit; and then some more...any questions?
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted April 25, 2005 11:55 AM

I think theres alot of Question on the outcome of your life when it comes to being spanked.
I think it depends on the mental abuse as well.
You grow up to wonder if your parents were doing the right thangs by disciplining you with physical abuse.
I think it depends on your parents & the genes 7 the mental abuse.
Parents can have short fuses & a temper & cause more abuse then they even realized what they did.

I think you have to show Discipline in the right way.
If you dont let the kid know what they did was wrong they can be disruptive in school.

Parents are unique in thier own way of discipline which can change the whole child when they grow up.

I think being spanked too many times in your life can cause anger & you can take it out on others.
depending on the mental abuse of getting spanked or even beat up it most likely will make you more scared of people then tougher.

Any abuse can mentally hurt a child in later life i guess to be clear I will say an example of myself.

My mother used to hit my alot & spank with belts, hands wire etc.
Alot of times she used to threaten to hit or slap me in face 7 I would flinch,& been yrs.

Now in my life I get startled easily.
SOmeone throws a hand at me or does any sudden move I flinche & literally jump sometimes too becayse i get scared lol.
You see what I mean, if you do somethang to a child so much & so many yrs, it could effect them later on.

I lived with my mother & my brother with my step dad.
My brother beat the living crap out of me & my mother used to give him permission to do it also, while with her mental well every abusive ways.
For yrs it got me to be scared of fighting anyone small or big.
Until high school freshman getting picked on went too far 7 well I wont say what I did to him but ever since I never backed down from a 1-1 again.

Must be hard to be a parent.
SOme think just good to spoil them to death but in life kids wont realise that you cant always get what you want in life. Or even know about life for that matter.

WHat is a right way to discipline?
Thats a question for yourself as a father or a mother.
I guess a balance of discipline & spoiledness.
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Dreaming of a Better World

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Trogdor
Trogdor


Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
posted April 25, 2005 12:34 PM

Yes I was spanked and it made me feel uncomfortable.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu

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Wolfman
Wolfman


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Insomniac
posted April 25, 2005 01:53 PM

I believe that was the idea.
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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted April 25, 2005 01:57 PM

LOOOL JUST LOOOL
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DonGio
DonGio


Promising
Famous Hero
of Clear Water Mountain Clan
posted April 25, 2005 02:16 PM

I was never spanked, but now I'm lazy, so I don't know what to think.

I highly doubt I will ever resort to hitting my own children. But that does not mean I condemn it in its entirety.

But I think we all agree that no one should have to go through the kind of abuse Consis describes above.

But there is a difference between abusing your children and controlled spanking. But in order for this to even be a subject, it is all-important that parents NEVER hit in anger. Then it's abuse. No question. If spanking is to work out, it has to be given as a punishment for a fell deed, a set number of strokes and delivered with as little emotion as possible. The child has to understand that if I do A, B will follow. Not B and maybe C and then some. It's also imperative that the spanking is administred in a way that causes no lasting injury to the child.

But all in all, I think it's best to never hit a child. But I don't know enough about every aspect of it to say it with absolute certainty.
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There are 10 types of people: Those who read binary, and those who don't.

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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted April 25, 2005 05:10 PM
Edited By: Consis on 25 Apr 2005

No One Can Stop It.....Only True Heroes

Quote:
No one should have to go through the kind of abuse Consis describes.

...Sometimes children don't understand the police will help. Only someone outside the family who witnesses the abuse can help. Parents are too afraid they will go to prison therefore they lie and make the children lie. Only a neighbor is able to do something but they never saw.

It can't be stopped. That's the way things are sometimes. That is life. A person can only help the people that are close to them, and only if they have proof. It is sad but true; painful but true; and it can't be stopped.
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted April 26, 2005 12:05 AM

SOmetimes it makes you stronger.
DOnt get me wrong I think hitting a child is bad also especially like youe COnsis or my moms or my X GF's or anyone for that matter.
These days with advertisements & books etc about abuse.
Were adults, were not stupid 7 we know whats right & wrong.
Example I am sure COnsis wouldnt hit his kids because he understands.
See what I mean about making you stronger even tho it should of never happened, it did & you cant change that.

I think it's the motivation Dio that you need when your a child.
Like my mom, always did the chores around the house & we never did, maybe thats why I hate cleaning up.
DOnt get me wrong I do it because it has to be done but yea I hate it lol
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Dreaming of a Better World

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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted April 26, 2005 06:11 AM

Preach on Brotha
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I

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