dkolb
Promising
Known Hero
Nay Nay and Aslan Protector
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posted January 13, 2006 04:39 PM |
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You might be a HOMM addict if...
Didn't know where to put this. After Confessions of an RPG addict went over well I decided to go a step further and I now present to you:
"You might be a HOMM addict if..."
1. You get complimented on your "Hamburgler/ Zorro" costume at a halloween party. Only you know that your costume is the Rogues from the original HOMM.
2. Instead of saying, "Let me put on my thinking cap." you say "hold on I need to equip the Helm of Heavenly Enlightentment."
3. You are the only person in your "World Religion" class who associates the name "Shiva" with a sultry,and hot barbarian woman.
4. You write the following message to your local pastor: "Dear Rev. Johnson, I have come to enlist you into the Erathian military we are in desperate need of Clerics, especially ones who are able to put people to sleep just by speaking."
5. You ask particularly elderly nursing home residents if they by chance know necromancy and if they have used it on themselves.
6. You impulsively stop and load any wood or scrap metal you find into your car. Your friends vocally protest when you tell them you are looking for sulfer and call the police when they find your stash of mercury.
7. You write your master's thesis on "the scientific impossibility of a dimension door."
8. You call into a radio show, which is discussing the moral ills of violence against women with this comment:
"I completely agree it's like they always attack the women! Especially the lady archers. Why just yesterday, a horde of griffons, several gargoyles, and I kid you not 3 red dragons all swarmed around a group of 7! This is an outrage!" (HOMM2 reference obviously)
9. You nickname your dreaded workplace "Grave Raven" and have been known to call your boss "Sandro." When your boss is in a bad mood you roll your eyes and mutter "Looks like Sandro misplaced his Armor of the Damned again."
10. After watching a forest fire on TV you wonder if you can somehow learn "Inferno" via Eagle Eye.
11. You are admitted into a psychiatric ward after Forest Rangers find you peering into a hole in a tree while shouting "I know you serpent flies are in there! Come on out you fools, I have come to recruit you. Join my army, I will even pay you!"
12.When a pyschologists asks to probe your thoughts you reply "Be my guest but know that I have an artifact that prevents hyponosis as well as expert resistance."
13. You are reprimanded severly for releasing several of your neighbors dogs and attempting to "upgrade" them into Cerberi.
14. When your favorite running back breaks through for a touchdown, you smirk and mutter, "That's haste for ya!"
15. You sneer at a display of cherub angels in a hallmark store and say, "Those fools know nothing of the might of angels."
16. You subconsciously type: "*tab*nwc" in all your correspondences.
17. When a police officer pulls you over for speeding, you scoff. Obviously this man is fearful of your superior logistics.
18. You are thrown in jail for resisting an officer.
Your excuse: He had the shackles of war, so I couldn't run and he wouldn't accept bribes.
19. Your only legal defense is "Heroes:Quest of the Dragonbone Staff made me do it!"
20. And finally in prison your plan of escape is you guessed it: Distract the guard and cast town portal.
Bonus: some of these you might not get at first but all are from H3.
"HOMM addicts Superstitions"
1. Never look a cow in the eye
2. Jump over puddles whenever possible
3. Never pick up an mysterious cloaks or robes that are lying around.
4. Never agree to go to a museum which feautures T-Rex skeletons
5. Never eat extra hot wings at KFC
6. Avoid Swamps
7. Be wary of anything with "Transformer" in it's name
8. Make sure your house is completely bat-proof.
9. Never eat mushrooms
10. Avoid any gardens with statues in them.
Coming soon:
HOMM Codenames
Pimp my Ride HOMM style (with special guests, Crag Hack and Tazar)
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