Heroes Community - You know you're a redneck when...

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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: You know you're a redneck when...

Thread: You know you're a redneck when...

russ

Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah

posted August 23, 2006 04:49 PM

You know you're a redneck when...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26 You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

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TnT_Addict

Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar

posted August 23, 2006 05:08 PM

Quote:
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

But... But... It was itching so so bad!

Oh well I guess I should change my name to Bubba and find me a good cow to spend my entire life with...
____________

Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!

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TitaniumAlloy

Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional

posted August 23, 2006 05:48 PM

Quote:
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

LOL

-You find old porno magazines in other peoples trash cans and take them back home

-You forgot what your floor is made out of there is too much junk

-You think arithmetic is what your grandma is always complaining about

-You named your shotgun Dozer, and your first child Dozer Jr.

-You still think that those 'blasted indians' are camping out of town just waiting for you

-You hold the bull riding record at your local bar, and everyone in your town remembers it except you
____________
John says to live above hell.

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