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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: The Fantasy Novelist's Exam
Thread: The Fantasy Novelist's Exam
friendofgunnar
friendofgunnar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
posted July 15, 2009 12:57 AM
Edited by friendofgunnar at 00:57, 15 Jul 2009.

The Fantasy Novelist's Exam

I think this has been linked before but I'll do it again.  It's the Fantasy Novelists Exam.

Quote:
Ever since J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis created the worlds of Middle Earth and Narnia, it seems like every windbag off the street thinks he can write great, original fantasy, too. The problem is that most of this "great, original fantasy" is actually poor, derivative fantasy. Frankly, we're sick of it, so we've compiled a list of rip-off tip-offs in the form of an exam. We think anybody considering writing a fantasy novel should be required to take this exam first. Answering "yes" to any one question results in failure and means that the prospective novel should be abandoned at once.


here's my faves:

Do any of your main characters have apostrophes or dashes in their names?

Do your characters spend an inordinate amount of time journeying from place to place?

Does your hero fall in love with an unattainable woman, whom he later attains?

Is any character in your novel best described as "a dour dwarf"?

Did you draw a map for your novel which includes places named things like "The Blasted Lands" or "The Forest of Fear" or "The Desert of Desolation" or absolutely anything "of Doom"?

Do inns in your book exist solely so your main characters can have brawls?

Do any of the magic users in your novel cast spells easily identifiable as "fireball" or "lightning bolt"?

Do you ever use the term "plate mail" in your novel?

Does your main character have a magic axe, hammer, spear, or other weapon that returns to him when he throws it?

Does your story involve a number of different races, each of which has exactly one country, one ruler, and one religion?

Does your main villain punish insignificant mistakes with death?

Is "common" the official language of your world?

Is the countryside in your novel littered with tombs and gravesites filled with ancient magical loot that nobody thought to steal centuries before?

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted July 15, 2009 01:07 AM

I knew about the swords!
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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted July 15, 2009 01:07 AM

some notes on those you picked...
Quote:
Do inns in your book exist solely so your main characters can have brawls?
This happens in virtually any action movie/story, not just fantasy, which has bars/inns/whatever

Quote:
Does your main character have a magic axe, hammer, spear, or other weapon that returns to him when he throws it?
Happens in non-fantasy settings, more or less. Still fiction though, but not fantasy.

Quote:
Does your main villain punish insignificant mistakes with death?
This one is stupid because this thing happens in a LOT of stories/movies/games. Again, not just fantasy.

Quote:
Is the countryside in your novel littered with tombs and gravesites filled with ancient magical loot that nobody thought to steal centuries before?
LMAO I agree, I'm tired of "long lost magical artifacts" especially in games
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.

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Mamgaeater
Mamgaeater


Legendary Hero
Shroud, Flying, Trample, Haste
posted July 15, 2009 01:08 AM
Edited by Mamgaeater at 01:12, 15 Jul 2009.

Do you think that the only two uses for ships are fishing and piracy?

Does anybody in your novel ever stab anybody with a scimitar?

Is your book basically a rip-off of The Lord of the Rings?

Read that question again and answer truthfully.

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted July 15, 2009 01:10 AM

Quote:
Do you not know when the hay baler was invented?
I find this one unfair...
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friendofgunnar
friendofgunnar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
posted July 15, 2009 01:12 AM

hahaha, I missed this one:

Do you see nothing wrong with having two characters from the same small isolated village being named "Tim Umber" and "Belthusalanthalus al'Grinsok"?

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gurrgoyl
gurrgoyl


Hired Hero
Looks like a book.
posted July 15, 2009 01:17 AM

the sad thing is most high budget fantasy movies follow these archetypes

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wog_edn
wog_edn

Promising

The Nothingness
posted July 15, 2009 01:23 AM

My book only had this one
Quote:
Do your characters spend an inordinate amount of time journeying from place to place?

But yeah, most books these days are almost like copies with a bit different storyline...
____________

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zamfir
zamfir


Promising
Supreme Hero
Allez allez allez
posted July 15, 2009 10:24 AM

Quote:

22. Did you make the elves and the dwarves great friends, just to be different?

23. Does everybody under four feet tall exist solely for comic relief?


These two made my day.
____________
5 Times TV

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xerdux
xerdux


Bad-mannered
Famous Hero
posted July 16, 2009 12:54 AM

Quote:
Do any of your main characters have apostrophes or dashes in their names?


No. Cedrik, Aela and Einnord (the last one doesnt talk much).


Quote:
Do your characters spend an inordinate amount of time journeying from place to place?
¨

I fail. Yes they do. Atleast in the first book. What would they otherwise do? All legends etc has the hero travelling a long distance on a dangerous adventure before getting thrown into a catalystic battle.

Since I hate writing fight scenes, the main character passes out instead. Nah, just kidding. The battle does take place but the main characters are not present.

What would they otherwise do? Would they for the first book study at Wortshog, Academy of Ley Manipulation and Divination?


Quote:
Does your hero fall in love with an unattainable woman, whom he later attains?


Yes and no. Briefly in the first book and briefly in the second book with a strong side-character. I would like to make one of the characters bi-sexual but I dont think it would work xD I will say save that for another series xD
However, Cedrik settles down with Aela who might be his sister. Im probably cutting that though, as it resembles Star Wars to much. I didnt come up with it from Star Wars though but a dream I had and clearly remember.
Cedrik: "Doesnt anyone stay dead and does everyone have some super secret parent or cousin these days?"
Aela: "But Ced, look at your own family tree!"
Cedrik: "What do you mean?"
Aela: "You happen to not know the name of your mother! Her name isnt even written down on her very grave! Both you and me even have "royal" names!"
Cedrik: "I have no idea what your talking about! My father didnt want my mother to have any relation to the material world anymore. Thats why no name stands on the grave."
Aela: "Please. Isnt it obvious after that horrible battle that the so-called other side isnt quite as magical and bright as you would like it to be? Dont you see Ced? Its been so long. I though you would understand. I am your sister. The King is our brother. The very reason we were sent to the Northern Grounds in the first place was to get killed, so that we would not get in the way for him!".


Quote:
Is any character in your novel best described as "a dour dwarf"?


What? No. I think there is like one chapter were you visit the Dwarfs capital in the third book. It looks like the Inferno town in H5 xD



Quote:
Did you draw a map for your novel which includes places named things like "The Blasted Lands" or "The Forest of Fear" or "The Desert of Desolation" or absolutely anything "of Doom"?


Whats wrong with those names? xD They might be the english translations! Okey, I dont have those names but I have some similar. Those these count; the Northern Grounds, the Eastern Wastelands, the Blackened Marshes and the Whispering Meadows? xD
Yes, I have a map. Its 2x A4 xD I like it very much xD
I suck at photoshop and am sure to pay A LOT for a sexy map in the future by some good guy xD



Quote:
Do inns in your book exist solely so your main characters can have brawls?


No. They rest in them when they visit a town. Obviously something could happen in them. Like that its secretly run by Bandits or something Cedrik is not likely to be in a bar fight when he is not drunk. Aela is likely to argue a lot and Einnord (placeholder name xD) stays away from anyone.


Quote:
Do any of the magic users in your novel cast spells easily identifiable as "fireball" or "lightning bolt"?


Yes but magic is explained deep enough and it does have laws like anything else. The second book would give the reader much education in the subject xD
Since im an atheist, there wont be any silly divine magic even if the characters can choose to believe that ít comes from the Goddess.


Quote:
Do you ever use the term "plate mail" in your novel?


No. It would sound retarded in swedish. Either its mail or it is plate.



Quote:
Does your main character have a magic axe, hammer, spear, or other weapon that returns to him when he throws it?


This... is... not... AUSTRALIA! No, they dont. Though Zelinde surely likes to swing around her wand, Cedrik play with his sword and Aela twirl around with her staff


Quote:
Does your story involve a number of different races, each of which has exactly one country, one ruler, and one religion?


Nooo! This is my problem with the old M&M universe. All races are mashed together and it makes zero sense. >.> Humans have their Kingdom. Wood Elves have their Forest realm. Snow Elves have their City and the Naga/Seafolk/Mermaids their empire.
Though im sure that there are some Dwarves living in the human Kingdom etc. The races have had alliances and unions in the past.


Quote:
Does your main villain punish insignificant mistakes with death?


I dislike this too! Why would you kill a good commander because he does one mistake!? This is very much to Star Wars to me! I think there is one case where th human King executes the main characters father or something like that.


Quote:
Is "common" the official language of your world?


Storywise: No Story-Tellingwise: Yes

Seriously, do you think the readers can bother to go to some kind of lexicon each time they speak with another race!? The explaination is that all humanoid races developed a similar language. Since there are no other intelligent humanoids then humans on Earth, this cannot be disproven by science yet!
And do you really think I could bother to do this?


Quote:
Is the countryside in your novel littered with tombs and gravesites filled with ancient magical loot that nobody thought to steal centuries before?


No! But there is a Heresh region or two in the book xD

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted July 16, 2009 01:09 AM

Quote:
This is very much to Star Wars to me!

Listen, Darth vader is a two-hundred pound killing machine...
You can not insult it and expect to live
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