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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Boy with cancer wants sex as last wish.
Thread: Boy with cancer wants sex as last wish. This thread is 4 pages long: 1 2 3 4 · NEXT»
With_Rye
With_Rye

Tavern Dweller
Catcher
posted January 07, 2002 12:09 AM

Boy with cancer wants sex as last wish.

This story may seem tabloidy, but read it anyway. Sorry for pasting the whole thing. The URL's a little screwy. You can try [url=http://www.dailytelegraph.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,3473426^12634,00.html]here[/url] if you really want to.

Quote:
The Moral Minefield of a Boy's Dying Wish

21dec01
Is it right or wrong to grant a dying teenaged boy his wish to have sex? LUCY CLARK examines a modern ethical dilemma:

A 15 YEAR-OLD boy is terminally ill with cancer. He knows he doesn't have very long to live, and he has a dying wish. It is not to go to Disneyland or to meet his favourite actor, rock or sports star but it is this: he wants to make love to a woman.
But there's a problem – he's in hospital, he doesn't want to talk to his mum and dad about it, and having been sick and in and out of hospital since the age of 12, he has formed no friendships or relationships with girls from his peer group.

The boy, let's call him Jack, simply wants to experience what every testosterone-driven heterosexual teenage boy thinks about, allegedly, every 17 seconds. Sex.

So what does he do?

It sounds like a hypothetical situation, but this story is true and Jack is real. His heartbreaking story about death and desire came to light last month when the child psychologist dealing with Jack wrote a letter to the Radio National program, Life Matters, in which moral dilemmas are discussed by academics.

It's a fascinating topic for academic discussion: how does a minor and the people who care for him tread though the ethical and practical minefield to see that he gets such a wish?

And firstly, should he even be granted his wish?

While many of us might scream reflexively "Yes! Of course!", cautious ethicists may ask questions.

Is a 15 year-old, officially a child, intellectually and emotionally competent to make such a mature decision? Do the parents have a right to know? Should the woman involved be charged with the criminal offence of having sex with a minor? Should a prostitute be involved? Should the hospital staff help to organise something?

All valid questions ripe for discussion, but forget the academic debate. What happened to Jack himself?

Yesterday, the child psychologist – who wishes to remain anonymous – told The Daily Telegraph the rest of the dying boy's story.

He had become involved after a nurse tending Jack – the only person Jack took into his confidence – urged the boy to talk to him.

So Jack spoke to the child psychologist, who specifically deals with children dying of terminal diseases, and this was not the first time the psychologist had heard of such a wish from a teenage boy.

"He had been sick for quite a long period and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," said the psychologist.

"But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have."

So Jack and the psychologist had a series of thorough discussions in which they went through every possible permutation of what might happen to him physically and emotionally so that he was "completely prepared" for the prospect of living out his final dream.

Jack's state of mind, he said, was sensible and mature and psychologically, totally competent. As he said: "Terminally ill kids get very wise, very quickly" and Jack had been sick for a long time.

The hospital staff who knew about Jack's wish at first wanted to help, their first reaction being "let's do a whip around and pay for a prostitute" but of course ethical and legal considerations stopped them in their tracks.

The psychologist also had canvassed members of the clergy, and found an interesting response: "It really polarised them, about half said what's your problem? And the other half said [the idea] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one.

"I just saw it as a legitimate request of a young man who wants to experience something that can do no harm."

The psychologist said that with Jack, he rigorously questioned what damage might be done to him as a result of fulfilling his wish, and the answer came up every time: none.

"Everyone's uncomfortable with teenage sex, period," said the psychologist. "Adolescents becoming sexual is enormously confronting, and a lot of people believe that kids shouldn't be sexual. But we are sexual from the womb to the tomb – that's my view.

"But ethics and morals aside, in children dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger'."

This happens when a child, seriously ill and in and out of hospital and receiving medical treatment over a long period, yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt".

"So you ask," said the psychologist, "what was this young man wanting?

"Was he wanting a cuddle?"

Probably yes, but as his illness and its treatment hadn't obliterated his normal teenage urges, he also really wanted that consummate experience.

So without his parents knowing, and completely without the involvement of the hospital staff, and not – it must be stressed – on the hospital's premises, Jack "did engage in the act and it was everything he wished it to be".

"He was very, very happy and only slightly disappointed that it was over quickly."

"The act", his dying wish, was with a sex worker who was "organised by friends who thought it was the right thing to do". All precautions were taken, and the friends made sure the act was fully consensual and involved no abuse or exploitation.

As for the legal ramifications of such a case, "quite clearly the law was broken, but of the people involved, most didn't give a toss," the psychologist said.

And what of the parent's right to know about their son?

Jack simply didn't want to talk to them about it.

He loved them, but they are religious and he didn't want them to know. Anyway, what 15-year-old boy does want to talk to his parents about sex, even under normal circumstances?

There is also legal precedence for a minor of sufficient maturity and intelligence to be given confidential medical treatment but does sex with a prostitute count as treatment?

"Absolutely. It is absolutely part of therapy," said the psychologist, "Because it was what he wanted. People talk about a trip to Disneyland being therapeutic what's the difference? It was what he wanted."

So Jack got what he wanted, and last week, he finally lost his fight with the cancer.

Wow, doesn't that sound like something straight out of those teenage motivational readers? I think it's fake, actually, but nevertheless, there are all sorts of nice juicy tidbits here to play with. Would you sympathize with the kid or strangle him? He did sort of trivialize sex, and yet, given the circumstances, you might've done the same thing he did.

I sort of feel sorry for him, actually. Poor guy.
____________
puadsns noh taym si alqwe hayt yted ayt pue 'slaay s,lle aas ot si umop apisdn aq ot

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RMS
RMS


Responsible
Legendary Hero
-ing yummy foods
posted January 07, 2002 02:28 AM

...hehe, although I may joke about some of these kinds of things, when it comes right down to it, if given the situation, I'm pretty serious about my decisions and I don't think I'de give much of a second thought to the matter...

...I feel little or rather no sympathy in the aspect of his wish, whehter or not this story was made up or it was real...I'm a teenager, and although I can't truthfully said that I've been dealt the same hand of life as he, we are all essentially the same...if the people who wanted to help him and he really wanted to, then it's up to them, but ethically, I believe it to be wrong, and the "justification" in my view never existed...

...hmm, just my one cent's worth opinion...
____________
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thunderknight
thunderknight


Promising
Famous Hero
posted January 07, 2002 05:46 AM bonus applied.

If I were that boy..........

I will definitely try my best to
do it. Why not. It's my last wish and
it won't hurt anyone.

My parents won't be hurt if they
don't know and never know.

Forget about those academics/scholars
/psychologist......., I doubt if they
will think the same IF they are the one
who is under the same situation. Btw, it
is NONE of their business, I don't need
a moralist to guide my life if I only
have several weeks to live.

Law ??? hahahaha, well, we should
always obey the law...........so
let's do it in a place/state where
this kind of act is not illegal.....

OK, that's all I want to say.
After all, I am not a teenager any more.
____________
Choose what you love
and love what you choose.

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Lith-Maethor
Lith-Maethor


Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
posted January 07, 2002 12:19 PM
Edited By: rogue on 10 Jan 2002

RMS...

please give thundernight a QP for this... I agree with him 100%


(I agree with him too, but I don't see his post as incredibly awe-inspiring - rogue)
____________
You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.

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RMS
RMS


Responsible
Legendary Hero
-ing yummy foods
posted January 07, 2002 01:02 PM

...hmm, alrighty...although I do disagree quite strongly...not so much on what he said, but what he didn't say...
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Legolust
Legolust


Adventuring Hero
Aurora Australis
posted January 07, 2002 01:40 PM

ive heard about this a few days back. i dont see why it wouldnt be true... its a logical wish, considering the circumstances
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I don't believe in anything that bleeds and doesn't die...

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Defreni
Defreni


Promising
Famous Hero
posted January 07, 2002 02:03 PM

Hmmmmm.
Just stumbled on this thread. And actually I would love to hear the argument that it was ethical wrong to let the boy have his final wish fullfilled?
He makes sex trivial, was the initial responce to the story.
How? is my question.
And here we must make a distinction between what the Law says, and what we deem morally right and wrong.
To really spell it out. The law in Germany in 1939 was that Jews had to wear the David-star on their clothes. It was the law, but was it morally valid?
I guess we all agree that it is not.
And here comes my point then.
Most countries have laws against prostitution, but these laws are normally based upon a religious stance. A stance some off us dont have anymore. Which makes a law that has no other justification than being a relic from older religious laws seem hollow.
In Denmark, where I live the age for being able to have consensual sex is 15, so the sex worker couldnt be convicted for statutory rape here.
And I must stress once again, who came to harm in this story, that did not allready have come to harm?
Sex is both a very simple and a very complex act, and what to some is a great experience, to others is a downright dirty thing.
But history teaches that societies that view sex as a natural order, and are both willing and able to talk about it and have it, without some twisted guilt thrown upon them by arcaic customs, are the most happy societies
Guess it became somewhat muddled here, but I hope u get my drift

Defreni
____________

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted January 07, 2002 07:35 PM

All I can say is that this thread should be marked as interesting. One of the few long posts I read.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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darkspirit
darkspirit


Famous Hero
aka Zutus
posted January 07, 2002 08:07 PM

*give woock a quality point for that, I totally agree with him...for the full 100%*
____________
Young moles appear to be in full dispersal which means there are more moles per acre than at any other time of the year

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted January 07, 2002 08:15 PM

Hmmm... I se some similarities between this post and Lith's.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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darkspirit
darkspirit


Famous Hero
aka Zutus
posted January 07, 2002 08:17 PM

I was just wondering if you'd get one too
____________
Young moles appear to be in full dispersal which means there are more moles per acre than at any other time of the year

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted January 07, 2002 08:23 PM

I shouldn't get a QP, the creator of this thread should.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Wesley
Wesley


Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
posted January 07, 2002 08:31 PM

What is..

What is the purpose of this post? I don't see a reason... many people die on cancer.. Not only this boy.
____________

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darkspirit
darkspirit


Famous Hero
aka Zutus
posted January 07, 2002 08:32 PM

aaah, but this almost dead boy wants sex before he dies... and I want a QP for woock for his amazing post (no offence to woock)
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Young moles appear to be in full dispersal which means there are more moles per acre than at any other time of the year

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted January 07, 2002 08:39 PM

If that post deserves a QP, I'm a 10mm tall, beautiful female elf!
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Wesley
Wesley


Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
posted January 07, 2002 08:43 PM - penalty applied.

What the snow..

NO don't rate this thread interesting!

I think it must be Unrelated.
However it's the tavern..
But what's so special about this one?? I don't see any interesting things in this..

Milena her thread.. That one is interesting! NOT AVARAGE!
____________

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Milena
Milena


Responsible
Supreme Hero
in supreme disgrace
posted January 07, 2002 08:43 PM

My 2 cents...

I'm not like this boy, I mean, I would never wish sex. However, I have been on the brink and know the power of last wish. Ok, it's not about me but a boy who was going to die. Don't you, guys, think 15 is a young age to die? if you're not young enough to die, why don't you do things adults do? This boy had never had the chance to be an adult and he was sentenced to die a painful death. Why was her robbed of it? if you ask me, I'd once, only once wish to see how adults are. And maybe this is one of the ways. Boys are curious and I think that one was one of them. He had a wish, it came true. Good. He can now rest in peace.

I think wishing sex is like wishing anything else. I would help this one have it though I think it had to be done with someone else but a snow.
____________
Milena

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kingdylan
kingdylan


Hired Hero
posted January 07, 2002 10:14 PM

I read this (or another story very similar) and he got his wish from a prostitute.  He was aan australian and his friends payed for his wish to come true.  Apparently the nurses and doctors said  they would have payed but it went against their professional ethics.  Personally i don't think any harm was done but he may now be residing in hell for giving into his base urges, you never know.
____________
One king to rule them all
one king to find them
one king to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them

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Tortoise
Tortoise


Known Hero
Master of Reptiles.
posted January 07, 2002 10:58 PM

Well if he is residing in hell then god is the most rigid SOB UP THERE!     Even he must have extenuating circumstances, although if we spoke to him i suppose he'd say he's seen it all. LOL
____________
All living things have a history. The history of the Tortoise is long and rich.


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rychenroller
rychenroller


Promising
Supreme Hero
posted January 07, 2002 11:53 PM

Quote:
NO don't rate this thread interesting!

I think it must be Unrelated.
However it's the tavern..
But what's so special about this one?? I don't see any interesting things in this..

Milena her thread.. That one is interesting! NOT AVARAGE!


Is Wesley starting the slide again? such foul language! i am shocked
____________
Myctteakyshd

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