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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew!
Thread: Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew! This thread is 7 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 · NEXT»
ShadowLord
ShadowLord


Promising
Famous Hero
of Dope
posted January 29, 2002 10:10 PM bonus applied.

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew!

Since this is off-topic forum, I though I'd share this to you guys and most of it are true!


Please note...these are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

1. Check your oil. Please.

1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends - like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet, attic, basement or worse, the garbage.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. What the hell is a doily?

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Legolust
Legolust


Adventuring Hero
Aurora Australis
posted January 29, 2002 11:10 PM

hahahaha
lol dude! what will people argue about next!? the apperance of the easter bunny in cartoons? lol
____________
I don't believe in anything that bleeds and doesn't die...

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Lith-Maethor
Lith-Maethor


Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
posted January 29, 2002 11:33 PM

well, excuse me...

but I think the way the Easter Bunny is drawn is unacceptable! ...they have no right to poison young minds like that! ...next thing they will put on TV will be the t-t-T-Teletubbies...
____________
You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.

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blub_lover
blub_lover


Hired Hero
butt-loving salad tosser
posted January 30, 2002 04:02 AM

hey!  Don't knock the easter bunny!
He gave me eggs, chocolates, jelly beans, and money too!  

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Defreni
Defreni


Promising
Famous Hero
posted January 30, 2002 03:36 PM

Hmm, and how old was it u where Wesley??

Offcourse the original post is a joke, that runs in most languages, but it actually have some truth to it.
Or rather alot off truth to it.
This is prolly why so many books have been written about the gender difference.
Ive spend the better part off my 24 yrs off age trying to figure out what the hell women means, and Im prolly further from the goal now, than I was 8 years ago. I just dont get them.
And regarding ur comments about sports. Well u dont like it, but actually saying that ppl who do like it are stupid........
Well that tells me more about you, than the folks that follow sports.

Defreni
____________

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Linkki
Linkki


Adventuring Hero
posted January 30, 2002 04:11 PM

I like the rule number one. Definitely.

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bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted January 30, 2002 07:44 PM

Quote:

You are called gay,looser and sucker when you not watch football/soccer in holland.



This is an interesting complaint when compared to your later comments.

Quote:

But watching it? That's more for gays.(not if they do it themselves thought) Don't get me wrong. Watching/playing is another story. But the guys that only talk about it and watch it and call other gay or stupid. Those are the tossers I spoke about.(And there are much in holland.. To much..


So, apparently, you hate those close minded gays that call you gay.
For the record, I love the list.  

"Women, can't live with them, pass the beer nuts."  -- Norm from cheers

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Milena
Milena


Responsible
Supreme Hero
in supreme disgrace
posted January 30, 2002 10:03 PM

I can see a few things

but they will get me a ban.

This is silly even to post as a joke. It's absolutely rude and vulgar and I don't think even a toher will do such a thing.

Plus, no man knows what changing tides is. Trust me on that.

*snarls*


____________
Milena

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Oldtimer
Oldtimer


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
posted January 30, 2002 10:08 PM

Quote:
Plus, no man knows what changing tides is. Trust me on that.

*snarls*




Any married man knows about the changing of the tides, its probably harder on the man.  Women can cry it out or change their moods instantaneously, but the husband just has to sit there and take it. (With that shellshocked look in his eye)
____________
<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>

"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."

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Nickman77
Nickman77


Famous Hero
from Poland.
posted January 30, 2002 10:14 PM
Edited By: Nickman77 on 30 Jan 2002

Since we are talkin` about girls look below:

____________
............................

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ShadowLord
ShadowLord


Promising
Famous Hero
of Dope
posted January 30, 2002 10:40 PM

This one bugs me a lot!

Quote:

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?



One of our closet is full of shoes right now!

@Nickman that one is pretty cool!

BTW: I didn't write that list... A friend sent it thru email!



____________
Do I need DRUGS when I have HEROES?

Heroes == Good

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 31, 2002 12:02 AM

Quote:
Since we are talkin` about girls look below:



How true can that be in most cases lol
Thats a good one
____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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Legolust
Legolust


Adventuring Hero
Aurora Australis
posted January 31, 2002 12:09 AM

Nickman77: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA, ill save the pics
lith: teletubbies hahaha. i read somewhere that its proven that they make kids stupider cool eh ! but watch an episode... i saw one that goes like : ill finish this thought... i have to sleep.
____________
I don't believe in anything that bleeds and doesn't die...

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 31, 2002 12:15 AM

Ok here's one when a women wants to tell you something it never fails that they have to throw in the whole story too.
You know you want to get to the point but the story always comes.
Your sitting waving your hands in silence saying to yourself "come come hurry up, just get to the point".
____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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TheJester
TheJester


Adventuring Hero
posted January 31, 2002 05:09 AM

Men

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.

Whenever two men meet there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man was the other sees him, and each man as he really is.

To attract a man, wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Women like quiet men because they think they are listening.

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!

Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Man who sneezes without tissues takes matters into his own hands.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.

If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children." -- they leave skid marks. This works whether a man or woman says it.

My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Man, I miss him!

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-o to a tree for instance.

Mankind is stupid. If you forget, they will remind you.

Men are like fish. Neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.




____________

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The_Prophet
The_Prophet


Adventuring Hero
Protector of Virgin Goats
posted January 31, 2002 05:33 AM

I happen to think this is hilarious. And by the way, the reason women take so long in the store is because we know everybody there, being the social creatures that we are, and just can't leave without saying hi to everyone because that would be rude. As for spending all the money... well, men don't know how to use their money properly anyway, so we take the burden away from them. ^_^
____________
An army of foes die the same as a single enemy, it's just more fun killing them.

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 31, 2002 08:36 AM

Quote:
I happen to think this is hilarious. And by the way, the reason women take so long in the store is because we know everybody there, being the social creatures that we are, and just can't leave without saying hi to everyone because that would be rude. As for spending all the money... well, men don't know how to use their money properly anyway, so we take the burden away from them. ^_^


If I may kindly disagree on this.
I know for a fact from experience of alot of women that shop rarely socialise & love to try out millions of close,look at dif sets of shirts, pants, belts, ohhh worst shoes,the works.
Yes they do socialise but it dont take that long.
When we shop we know how to budget our hard earned money & still look good too.

____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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Tristan
Tristan


Promising
Known Hero
illegally insane
posted January 31, 2002 09:01 AM

To any women who are offended by this, please think about what it says about men.  Yes, I feel some of those things sometimes, but I must say that it tells more about the differences between the genders than the value of men or women.

As far as understanding women, even when I think I do, I don't.  Not that this is always a bad thing, it can just get irritating at times.  My wife and I have a great relationship, but you know, we are always finding more things we don't understand about each other. (sometimes the same things we discovered last week )


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thunderknight
thunderknight


Promising
Famous Hero
posted January 31, 2002 10:46 AM

Girls make me think about a game..........

Homm ???? Noooop.

Command & Conquer !!

Oooop, I mean "Listening & Caring"
____________
Choose what you love
and love what you choose.

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bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted January 31, 2002 03:15 PM

Quote:
Ok here's one when a women wants to tell you something it never fails that they have to throw in the whole story too.
You know you want to get to the point but the story always comes.
Your sitting waving your hands in silence saying to yourself "come come hurry up, just get to the point".


yes Yes YES.  For instance, a shopping trip:

Guy : "Let's get potato chips"  (Assuming he doesn't just grab a bag and throw it in the cart)

Girl : "I was watching A Baby Story on TLC this morning and they were showing this couple that were going to do a natural birth with a midwife in their home.  I don't know how I feel about that, I mean it would be nice to be in your home with loved ones rather than surrounded by strangers, but if something goes wrong I'd want to be in a hospital.  They actually already had 2 kids, they had had them in a hospital though.  The oldest kid was going to cut the cord.  Anyway, while they were waiting for her to dilate, they were eating potato chips, and that made me want potato chips, so let's buy some."

And, if you don't want to be in really big trouble, you better be able to recite it back to her verbatim.

The worst thing is, that they have such complete control over us, and they know it so that no matter how much you may want to blurt out , "Get me a beer woman!  And while you're at it, lose some weight, ya freakin' walrus and go call your sister and bring her over tonight so we can have a threeway." it always ends up as "Of course, dear, I'll pick up your mother at the airport and listen to her tell me how she wishes you had married the stock broker you were dating before me."

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