| The gap of real world communication | |
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Neraus
Promising
Legendary Hero
Pain relief cream seller
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posted December 18, 2023 07:39 PM |
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The gap of real world communication
Oh boy, I haven't posted anything serious here in ages and thought, what better way than to start an entirely new thread in the OSM?
I've been thinking a lot lately about rebuilding a sort of social net, my natural tendency to self-isolate had been a sort of boon during the lockdown period and I thought I wouldn't feel that affected, spoiler alert, I was.
I neglected to keep up with my uni colleagues, on one hand because I didn't really grow too close to them beforehand, on the other because I am the kind of person that doesn't usually contact people when they're not close enough. That initially didn't seem like a big deal, there were some annoyances when I had to work through some bureaucratic issues that my uni is famous for, but I managed regardless with minimal support.
I then did an internship (which is another chapter of messy work, but it was a really nice period of my life), where I basically made a close friend and kept pretty good relations with my former tutor and the other people who work there.
Fast-forward a year later and... Life got pretty boring, between one exam and the other, and the liasons with working in the family business, every time I got back to the city I had basically nobody to hang out with, my close friend from internship returned to his town, we keep in touch and hang out whenever he returns, I also have my best friend in the city, with whom I usually go out with.
Aside from these two people though... I basically didn't manage to build any further relationships, it's like at some point I basically stopped having a social clock.
Ironically, in those years I built up some online friendships, got in a few servers (and even was missed by people when I left one of these), but yeah, that's online people, not exactly the best replacement for actual people in your vicinity, the other ironic thing is that I am pretty sociable, much more than in the past (working as a cashier in a pharmacy boosted my skills significantly), whenever I am in a social situation I keep up conversations and whatnot, just... I never seem to trigger that feeling of "let's meet again".
I often hear online about going out and "touching grass" as a way to meet people, and personally, I started an interesting journey of tech detox wherein I dedicate an hour or two to walking with no headphones, and I ponder, where am I supposed to go exactly to meet new people by myself? And thus I sort of discovered there are no easily accessible places to have social gatherings, tried asking around at comics shops, bookstores and whatnot, but interestingly enough not even the people there are aware of any enthusiast groups for what I'm interested in, there are very few places that have arcades or other social games like pool, and they closed a bowling alley that was really close to me.
As an interesting aside that may feel very out of character for me, I spent the last year going to discos and clubs quite often lol, definitely not the place where I can meet the kind of people I want to be friends with, what struck me is how different it is from the advertisement, I don't know if it's just me, but people there seem not really open to talking with strangers, which is fair, but I grew up with the idea that disco is for meeting new people (and one night stands), even going with people I would describe as very outgoing and extroverted they seemed to be rather stunted starting conversations, a really funny anecdote about that is how an Irish friend of mine was complaining about how girls here seem far more closed, but I digress, I've been to Erasmus nights, same feeling.
So, in conclusion, is it the dang phones that all these young'uns keep staying glued to that are causing this? What do you all think caused this shift towards introversion and not building communal spaces? Or am I just that out of touch and it's all a weird perception I have?
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Noli offendere Patriam Agathae quia ultrix iniuriarum est.
ANTUDO
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Drakon-Deus
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 19, 2023 06:47 AM |
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Well, hello there, friend Neraus! You'll find this place is rather deserted (well, at least the discussion boards, the Heroes threads have some activity), but I hope more people come to talk.
As to the topic at hand, they say that we used the internet to escape from the real world when the whole thing was in its early days and social media was not yet a thing. Now we try to escape from online life by disconnecting from internet. 
I wish people did not stay glued to their cellphones as I still prefer real communication, and as you said in your post, it's not quite easy to find some sort of social gathering suited to our interests.
I don't know what to do exactly, since I can't just put the phone away and pretend to go back in time. I try to use every opportunity of communicating that I can get, even through the dreaded social media platforms.
Funny, I also worked directly with customers in the past year and that has been of great help to me.
Lastly, allow me to give you a warm welcome.
Everyone can relax, our Sicilian is back in the game! 
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Horses don't die on a dog's wish.
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted December 21, 2023 06:32 PM |
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I have been a part of countless gaming communities.
Thinking back I can easily identify changes in myself as a person by how I have Interacted over the years.
But it is very very come and go as you please.
A lot of the time value of members is scaled to how active they are and powerful they are in the game as well.
It's not exactly artificial sentiment when I leave them and people wish me well.. but it's far from memorable or impactful as in real life!
It can even provide social fulfilment. Like, if tom Hanks had a computer on his island in Castaway he might have been okay when Wilson, his only friend, was lost.
*Cries for a moment*
Anyways. Good points.
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Mannelig
Hired Hero
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posted August 06, 2024 08:08 AM |
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Edited by Mannelig at 09:24, 06 Aug 2024.
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Quote:
So, in conclusion, is it the dang phones that all these young'uns keep staying glued to that are causing this? What do you all think caused this shift towards introversion and not building communal spaces? Or am I just that out of touch and it's all a weird perception I have?
If you will see the statistics for unnatural deaths you will notice that the cause most often are humans themselves. Meaning, the main enemy of any human is another human. Basic instinct of self preservation would therefore imply that you limit your communication with your enemy and nowadays we have a lot of means to do just that, so no wonder people do it.
When we would have ASI we would have an excellent way of enforcing human-to-human interaction safety, then said dangers would therefore cease to exist.
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"Machine intelligence is the last invention that humanity will ever need to make"
- Nick Bostrom
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naomismith113
Tavern Dweller
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posted April 01, 2025 09:25 AM |
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In today’s digital era, the gap in real-world communication is widening as people rely more on online interactions. While technology bridges distances, it also limits face-to-face discussions, making genuine conversations a challenge. Whether in academics or daily life, clear communication is essential for expressing thoughts effectively. Just like mastering real-world communication requires practice, writing a well-structured essay demands clarity and precision. For students struggling to articulate their ideas, MyAssignmentHelp provides expert guidance- https://myassignmenthelp.com/write-my-essay-for-me.html. If you ever find yourself thinking, "Who can* write my essay for me**?"*, professional academic support ensures your work is well-organized and impactful. Effective writing, much like effective communication, is key to success in both education and beyond.
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eliseceleste
Tavern Dweller
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posted January 03, 2026 06:30 AM |
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Neraus said:
Oh boy, I haven't posted anything serious here in ages and thought, what better way than to start an entirely new thread in the OSM?
I've been thinking a lot lately about rebuilding a sort of social net, my natural tendency to self-isolate had been a sort of boon during the lockdown period and I thought I wouldn't feel that affected, spoiler alert, I was.
I neglected to keep up with my uni colleagues, on one hand because I didn't really grow too close to them beforehand, on the other because I am the kind of person that doesn't usually contact people when they're not close enough. That initially didn't seem like a big deal, there were some annoyances when I had to work through some bureaucratic issues that my uni is famous for, but I managed regardless with minimal support.
I then did an internship (which is another chapter of messy work, but it was a really nice period of my life), where I basically made a close friend and kept pretty good relations with my former tutor and the other people who work there.
Fast-forward a year later and... Life got pretty boring, between one exam and the other, and the liasons with working in the family business, every time I got back to the city I had basically nobody to hang out with, my close friend from internship returned to his town, we keep in touch and hang out whenever he returns, I also have my best friend in the city, with whom I usually go out with.
Aside from these two people though... I basically didn't manage to build any further relationships, it's like at some point I basically stopped having a social clock.
Ironically, in those years I built up some online friendships, got in a few servers (and even was missed by people when I left one of these), but yeah, that's online people, not exactly the best replacement for actual people in your vicinity, the other ironic thing is that I am pretty sociable, much more than in the past (working as a cashier in a pharmacy boosted my skills significantly), whenever I am in a social situation I keep up conversations and whatnot, just... I never seem to trigger that feeling of "let's meet again".
I often hear online about going out and "touching grass" as a way to meet people, and personally, I started an interesting journey of tech detox wherein I dedicate an hour or two to walking with no headphones, and I ponder, where am I supposed to go exactly to meet new people by myself? And thus I sort of discovered there are no easily accessible places to have social gatherings, tried asking around at comics shops, bookstores and whatnot, but interestingly enough not even the people there are aware of any enthusiast groups for what I'm interested in, there are very few places that have arcades or other social games like pool, and they closed a bowling alley that was really close to me.
As an interesting aside that may feel very out of character for me, I spent the last year going to discos and clubs quite often lol, definitely not the place where I can meet the kind of people I want to be friends with, what struck me is how different it is from the advertisement, I don't know if it's just me, but people there seem not really open to talking with strangers, which is fair, but I grew up with the idea that disco is for meeting new people (and one night stands), even going with people I would describe as very outgoing and extroverted they seemed to be rather stunted starting conversations, a really funny anecdote about that is how an Irish friend of mine was complaining about how girls here seem far more closed, but I digress, I've been to Erasmus nights, same feeling.
So, in conclusion, is it the dang phones that all these young'uns keep staying glued to that are causing this? What do you all think caused this shift towards introversion and not building communal spaces? Or am I just that out of touch and it's all a weird perception I have?
You’re really not alone in feeling this way, and your post actually captures something a lot of people are struggling with but rarely articulate this clearly. What stands out is that this isn’t a lack of social skills on your part—you clearly have those—but more a breakdown in social continuity. You can talk to people, you can connect in the moment, but the bridge to “let’s meet again” just doesn’t seem to form.
I don’t think this is only about phones, though they’re definitely part of it. The pandemic disrupted routines that used to create effortless social bonds. When those routines vanished, many people shifted into a low-effort, self-contained mode and never fully came back. Social life became more transactional and situational—people meet for a purpose, then disappear once that purpose ends.
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Pol
Known Hero
.^.
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posted January 03, 2026 07:46 PM |
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Probably new generations will be better with that but there's some heavily affected gap, like 2005-2023 who will suffer and lack social skills because of "always online" and "always consuming ad" attitude. No need to say, that this is ruining their lives.
Absolutely nothing can replace RL in the long terms.
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