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| Thread: The Human Race is Doomed Forever |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT» |
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted July 23, 2002 04:15 AM |
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The Human Race is Doomed Forever
The human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Go Red Sox!
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Dar_Kraven
Bad-mannered
Adventuring Hero
Finally Sober
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posted July 23, 2002 04:22 AM |
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That Last one Was a bit...........Disturbing
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Dar_Kraven
Bad-mannered
Adventuring Hero
Finally Sober
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posted July 23, 2002 01:35 PM |
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Quote:
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Lol, Never write that again......I had the nastiest vision of That.....I Shudder of it.....
Sadly this is true. I Was out in the store Browsing Through stuff Most likely to have stupid Warnings. I Was about to give up when i Knocked over a Pack Of Store Brand Diapers.
It said
Do Not Wear if Over 30 years of age
(Hmm...adults in Diapers)
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted July 23, 2002 01:42 PM |
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Wow Kraven, you really have much to learn about this world.
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"Youre zeroes and ones, youre wrong where im right"
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted July 23, 2002 02:01 PM |
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So the Sir, since you know about diaper's it must mean your almost ready for the big people stuff?
Huggies pull up's For BIG GUY Sir.. Youve gotten much bigger Stiven! 
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Dar_Kraven
Bad-mannered
Adventuring Hero
Finally Sober
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posted July 23, 2002 02:06 PM |
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Lol Celfious, you crack me up every time.
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted July 23, 2002 02:20 PM |
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Nah Celfious, its more like some of us has learned alittle what this world is about and not living in some fantasy version about demons and stuff. Once you realise that there are a world outside the computerroom of yours i hope you will reckon the same thing.
As for the diapers thing i suggest you get a summerjob to take care of the older people. Then you might reckon what im meaning, but first you need to go out and smell the real world...
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"Youre zeroes and ones, youre wrong where im right"
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arachnid
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted July 23, 2002 02:22 PM |
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The reason theres so many crappy messages like this is because theres even more morons that have tried to iron while wearing the clothes or tried eating frozen food. And these complete idiots are rewarded when they then sue the company "because it never said on the box"
Like there was this one moron who bought hot coffee from Mc Donalds opened up the carton and then drove off, but ended up spilling it on himself burning himself quite badly. He won thousands and thousands out of court because the carton did not say that it would be hot. duh!
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Dar_Kraven
Bad-mannered
Adventuring Hero
Finally Sober
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posted July 23, 2002 02:29 PM |
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Well, it is common Sense that it would be hot. Who Wants cold coffee?
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted July 23, 2002 02:33 PM |
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Oh thanks for pointing that out for me kraven, i had no idea that that was what he meant... 
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"Youre zeroes and ones, youre wrong where im right"
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andiangelsla...
Disgraceful
Famous Hero
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posted July 23, 2002 02:37 PM |
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the human race is lost if kraven and the other geniuses turn off the comp and spread their "wisdom" to the world....
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Dar_Kraven
Bad-mannered
Adventuring Hero
Finally Sober
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posted July 23, 2002 02:40 PM |
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Yes andi, your right. Now to figure out how to turn this Contraption off and Where my Bedroom Door Is......i think it Might have been Rusted shut throughout these years.
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted July 25, 2002 05:12 AM |
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Quote:
the human race is lost if kraven and the other geniuses turn off the comp and spread their "wisdom" to the world....
I see that you pick and choose your posts much more carefully now that you can only post once every hour or so. Well at least I would do that, but whatever floats your boat. All I can say is I'm hoping you get more penalties, so you post even less often. It's been much more pleasurable since you decided to attack Hexa. If you keep at it, then maybe you can get banned.
*crosses his fingers*
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Go Red Sox!
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andiangelsla...
Disgraceful
Famous Hero
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posted July 25, 2002 06:31 AM |
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if you ask most peeps here whos more annoying, you or me, id like to see the results...why dont you go post another B.S. thread
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted July 25, 2002 01:40 PM |
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Now that's an interesting suggestion andi..
Let's do a little poll..
Who is more annoying?
Andi or Redsoxfan?
Hmm..personally I think you're both stuck in a vicious(did i spell that correctly?) circle.
What I would find interesting to see is which one of you will break it first
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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Commando
Known Hero
Unleasher of the Bloodthirsty
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posted July 25, 2002 07:04 PM |
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Neither - I'd be worried sick if I let their squabbles meddle with my peace of mind. In fact, I think Andi's hilarious - how anybody can feel offended by his pungent yet good-natured sense of humour is beyond me. After all, if everyone complains about him it must mean they read all his posts, and I doubt anyone with any common sense would persist in reading what he/she deems "offensive", nor waste time and bile complaining about things that should actually have no effect whatsoever on the person's real life.
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted July 26, 2002 04:11 AM |
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He isn't offensive to me. I just find it fun to flame the flamer. Give people a taste of their own medicine. Things get too boring otherwise.
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Go Red Sox!
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2XtremeTotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 21, 2003 09:07 AM |
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LOL HILARIOUS, have you got ne more?
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted June 21, 2003 11:46 AM |
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IYY
Responsible
Supreme Hero
REDACTED
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posted June 21, 2003 05:53 PM |
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If you like this kind of stuff you may also be interested in the Japanese mistranslations to English. Here is an example:
More of this can be found on http://www.engrish.com/
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