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| Thread: When Forbidden Love Gets Too Much... |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · «PREV |
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted July 14, 2004 09:18 PM |
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In honour of Cats return I'm reviving it.
It was my favorite one of her threads.
Maybe she'll finish the story 
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted July 15, 2004 12:37 PM |
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And The Story Goes On....
Somewhere, Far To Sea...
Paris polished his horns expertly, and gave himself a toothy smile in the mirror before throwing back his hair. What an absolute catch he was.
But not just in looks, oh no. He had made his kingdom great. Although his father still ruled it in theory, everybody knew it was Paris who made decisions that really mattered. Didn't he send the pit-fiends packing without even a reference for their irresponsible horned demon summoning? Didn't he hand-rear the hydras, with care and attention to every last head? Was he not dilligent in his study of magics...?
*CRASH*
A sheepish looking pirate came up to him. "Arrrr" it said.
"Well? snapped Paris "What's wrong?" In his opinion, something VERY important should happen to interrupt him from contemplating how wonderful he was.
"Arrrr... arrrrrrrr, arr, ar, arrrrr-arrrrr, arrrrrrr, yo-ho!" answered the pirate.
Paris sighed. He hoped commander dastardly wasn't having this trouble...
At Castle Philosophia...
"Hello?.... Neeeaarrgghhh!!" screamed the gate guard.
"Lawks?" said the... the... thing on the other side.
The gate guard collected himself suffiently to remember his drill "Who are you and what do you want..?"
"Well dearie, I am just a poor lost traveller looking for a place to stay and an audiende with your ruler."
The gate guard shook himself "But you're DEAD!"
"Not very," said the voice on the other side "I mean, bits don't fall off me and I don't smell"
The gate guard considered this. "Alright" he said, and gave the command to open the gates.
The sight that greeted him was a truely terrifying one. A vampire who looked like a shaved behemoth stuffed into a dress astride a dripping wet, angry-looking black horse which kept sneezing and looked positively demonic. Parts of it kept catching on fire, untill it sneezed again. The horse wore a pink blanket under it's saddle with "MR. HAPPY" stiched onto it. It's coal red eyes were runny.
Nurse Bathory dismounted and smiled brightly at the gate guard. "Well, thank you my good man. I don't imagine you've got any Mars Bars have you?" She paused and looked at the sniveling Mr. Happy (Bringer of Doom) "And possibly a vet. Lawks."
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 Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
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barbarian
Famous Hero
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posted July 15, 2004 12:56 PM |
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hmm i must say it is very good and funny work all of the things you writen by now cat, no wonder you got a QP.
Quote:
Six households, all alike in dignity (well, mostly. If you sweep the barbarians under the rug or make them bathe and wear clothes), in fair Axeoth, where we lay our scene, two star-cross'd lovers take their armies...
but that was low, I WEAR CLOTHES  .
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It's optional.
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted May 01, 2005 06:48 PM |
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Back At Castle Philosophia...
"Gah!" Yelled Romeo when confronted with the horrible sight in front of him.
"Mmmff?" Asked Nurse Bathory, her mouth full of cream bun. She swallowed and tried again. "Mmmm.. them little beggers don't half make good cakes, don't they. Erm, and lawks".
Romeo rubbed his eyes and tried again. It was no good. The vision in front of his eyes still showed a morbidly obese vampire stuffed into some kind of underwear and looking very much like a behemoth at a costume party which just happened to be wearing lipstick. It was eating a small mountain of cream filled dougnuts. Something clanged in his memory.
"Nurse Bathory..?" He ventured
This had the effectof making the horrible creature grin, midway through a bun. "Yeff Deary..." It mumbled before swallowing and trying again. "I mean yes. I've got some news you and my lovely little Juliet need to hear"
Romeo sighed "I'd better go and get Lord Astral, hand't I?"
In The castle Philosophia Stables...
Mr. Happy The Slightly Damp Bringer of Doom was actually feeling a bit better. They'd brushed him off, fed him coal and firelighters and got rid of the 300lb cause of his curvature of the spine. Better still, the stable was entirely devoid of goats, which meant nothing was trying to eat his tail and somebody had ironed his blanket. It was quite possible his equine nervous breakdown had been averted. He kicked the horse in the stall next door in a companionable way, and snorted with satisfaction.
It was the smell on the next breath in that he took which alerted him to the fact that things might not be quite right... it smelled like.. oh NO, please No..
Muttley walked cheerfully into the stables and looked as utterly delighted as a Cerebus with special needs could muster when he caught sight of Mr. Happy. At last! A propper friend to play with!
Meanwhile..
Lord Ghastly was tentatively placing a packet of Roliads on an alter of sacrifice in the hope that following this proceedure they would potentially become ghostly Roliads and able to help with his ethereal ulcer.
Despite all the assurances he had been given by Commander Dastardly that his troops were the most skilled scouts on the planet, the army had so far gone 'round the same swamp twelve times because "You can never really be sure now, can you?". Ghastly refelcted that it was probably a good thing that all monolith travel was down for repairs.. this lot could probably get lost on a one way system.
"Giant firey pigeon, sir!" yelled one of Dastardly's scouts.
"Pigeons aren't firey" Answered Dastardly. "That's more like Efreeti, or cerebi, or.."
"Arrgghhh!!" Screamed Ghastly, cowering behind the alter of sacrifice.
At Sea
"Arrgghh! Yo Ho! Yar!" Intoned the pirate. Paris gave up.
"I'll just go and check it myself then, shall I?" he snapped, stalking out to deck.
"Yur" answered the pirate. When Paris had stalked out of sight, the pirate turned to another conspiritorally. "Dare you to hide his horn polish" he said.
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Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
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