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| Thread: Huge problem... |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · NEXT» |
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evinin
Supreme Hero
Servant of Asha
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posted May 19, 2011 01:11 PM |
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Huge problem...
Hi, guys. I know that I haven't been around much lately but I have a lot to do in RL and that's why I'm not here much. I'm looking forward to the better days in which I'll have time for HC again.
The thing is that I have a problem and I have no idea who to talk to. I don't have many friends but I have one very good female friend that I'm very close to. The thing is... I think she's in love with me. Or at least she likes me too much, not just as a friend. Which freaks me out that is. She's my friend and I don't want to loose her but if things really are like this, what the Hell should I do? Any advises?
I'm talking serious, please no mocking...
Thank you.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2011 01:15 PM |
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Hey Evi,
I know this will sound silly, but have you, or do you feel able to talk with her about this. After all what has lead you to feel this??
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Insanity
Known Hero
Brain cells killa
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posted May 19, 2011 01:15 PM |
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find a boyfriend... thats settle enough.... solved puzzle, my eggzie happy now 
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted May 19, 2011 01:18 PM |
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*suppresses urge to demand pics*
Hmm... obvious thing to do would be to explain that you just wanna be friends, but if you aren't really sure she's in love with ya you might end up in an awkward situation...
Feel like telling us what makes you think she's in love with ya? How does she like you too much?
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted May 19, 2011 01:21 PM |
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Heh  Yeah that's an awkward situation, you'll eventually have to talk to her about it. What kind of person is she?
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2011 01:26 PM |
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Edited by meroe at 13:26, 19 May 2011.
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Well if she's your closest friend she will also know that your not 'into her' that way. So she would know her feelings are not reciprocated. Sometimes friends get so close and if one is rather 'touchy-feely' and the other isn't, it can feel like this.
I guess you've been friends for a while, so I'm also guessing that her behaviour recently has changed, which has lead you to believe she 'likes' you.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Duke_Falcon
Disgraceful
Supreme Hero
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posted May 19, 2011 01:26 PM |
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Act as a friend and don't do anything that may lead her to think you want more than friendship. If she steps forward despite of this (what makes crystal clear she loves you more than a friend) then you must speak with her and tell her you just wanna be friends and not more.
Don't show anything suspicious what can drag you in an awkward situation (as Adrius said so well) JUST act as a normal friend. That way your problem will solve itself one way or another. And if your friendship is strong enough it will survive way B (the love version).
I wish you the best!
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Insanity
Known Hero
Brain cells killa
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posted May 19, 2011 01:26 PM |
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Whazz wrong with you guyz ?? talkin is awkward you will destroy their friendhip, find a guy and tell her how much u like him, dont listen to what boyz say, boyz dont understand
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2011 01:29 PM |
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I think Evi already has a boyfriend ?
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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evinin
Supreme Hero
Servant of Asha
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posted May 19, 2011 01:29 PM |
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I'm trying to talk to her but she doesn't reply. I was joking once in a company of girls about lesbian stuff and so and I think that she may thought that I really meant that stuff. I have a boyfriend that I love and even if sometimes I feel a little lesby I can never have such feelings towards her. She told me that she wanted to kiss me and I thought that she was joking and I joked about it and today she was like "you always joke, you are never serious" and I was like "do you really like me, let's talk about it" and she left Skype, she doesn't answers the phone now and so on.
Like I said - I'm freaking.
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selcy
Famous Hero
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posted May 19, 2011 01:30 PM |
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Yes I had the same thing not so long ago only it went a little further than a crush. My friends and I went for a girls night out. We all got very drunk and for some reason I found myself stood outside the night club crying.One of my friends who I had known for a while came straight up to me and held my head in her hands and planted the biggest kiss on my lips. I was shocked to say the least and it caused a few problems with our friendship. We didn't speak for a while and have just started speaking again but the kiss is never mentioned.
I would talk it through before things get out of hand.
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted May 19, 2011 01:34 PM |
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Edited by Adrius at 13:37, 19 May 2011.
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Well I'd go with Falcon's way of doing things, but it seems to have progressed further than that.
I'd say don't push her too hard for a resolution. She's obviously kinda upset so ya can't really expect a good answer from her...
And since you're upset as well I'd suggest you wait a few days, let her think things through as well, and then explain to her how you feel.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2011 01:34 PM |
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Oh well she has already shared her feelings. Well just a simple explanation should work. She does already know that your not lesbian and probably feels a little embarassed that she said those things to you. I wouldn't freak out. The only reason to freak out would be if you found you had some feelings for her and these confused you.
I wouldn't worry. If the friendship is strong, you can easily get over something like this. Hell I've done a lot worse ... mind you I never regretted it. You can both laugh this off and continue as great friends.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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evinin
Supreme Hero
Servant of Asha
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posted May 19, 2011 01:45 PM |
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She does not answer me. I explained things to her and I apologized if I left her with the wrong impression, but she doesn't answer me...
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2011 01:47 PM |
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She will eventually Evi, just give her time.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Insanity
Known Hero
Brain cells killa
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posted May 19, 2011 01:48 PM |
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give her time and if nothing happenz in a week u go to her and knock her door down, u must fight for your friendship  (mail her a link of this thread as well  )
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evinin
Supreme Hero
Servant of Asha
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posted May 19, 2011 01:50 PM |
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Edited by evinin at 14:03, 19 May 2011.
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I'm going to see her tomorrow anyway (it's going to be a bad day for me not only because of that). If she doesn't talk to me today, I'll try again tomorrow.
Edit: And thanks to everyone, I've calm down a bit. I'll write later how it went.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 19, 2011 02:18 PM |
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I'm sorry, when I see this a bit different than the rest.
Quote:
I'm trying to talk to her but she doesn't reply. I was joking once in a company of girls about lesbian stuff and so and I think that she may thought that I really meant that stuff. I have a boyfriend that I love and even if sometimes I feel a little lesby I can never have such feelings towards her. She told me that she wanted to kiss me and I thought that she was joking and I joked about it and today she was like "you always joke, you are never serious" and I was like "do you really like me, let's talk about it" and she left Skype, she doesn't answers the phone now and so on.
Like I said - I'm freaking.
With all that said and explained I think you owe your friend a serious kiss: in social life sou shouldn't "bluff" too much - and if you do you should be prepared to show your hand.
So MY advice is that for your talk and your "feeling a little lesby" you owe her a real - if thin - chance, to show her that you TRY to be serious and TRY to follow words with deeds and how much your friendship is worth to you.
You will then know how it feels and will be able to tell her - truthfully - how you feel, and you will be able to say really sorry, if it doesn't work out.
Just give her a chance to show you, and keep to the truth, whatever it feels like. But at this stage she may have a point to ask more from you than just a couple of words.
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evinin
Supreme Hero
Servant of Asha
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posted May 19, 2011 02:23 PM |
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The thing is that we joke almost all the time and we're not much serious (of course we are, when it's needed). But about this particular stuff we really joke very often. It's bad when a joke becomes reality, I guess. I still hope that I'm misunderstanding her.
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted May 19, 2011 02:40 PM |
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Quote:
I was like "do you really like me, let's talk about it" and she left Skype, she doesn't answers the phone now and so on.
Well you weren't exactly being subtle about the issue. Not that you should be but that wasn't the prime time to blatantly confront her about her feelings. So her reaction to being confronted isn't all that surprising especially since she seems to be conflicted about this aswell (if she wasn't she wouldn't just have left).
So don't freak out about her not answering your calls she's just trying to figure out what she wants herself. She knows you're hetero (no matter how much you joke about lesbian stuff or how touchy feely you get (if you ever do) when your drunk or even if you're not) she knows. Even if she gets her hopes up when you say or do something that can be interpreted another way she knows she's seeing things because she wants to see them. And well in a way you can't blame her we're all like that when we're in love.
What's important about this however is that you must not blame yourself for "misleading" her you've done nothing wrong. When you have that talk she'll most likely bring up stuff like "but you said/did etc. etc." if she's desperate do not crumble at that point.
I'm stressing this so much since you seem to feel a bit guilty about things that are so blatantly normal or casual that it's ridiculous to suggest otherwise. Even if you get a bit "lesby" and no matter what you joke about when you're with her it only goes to show that you're comfortable being around her, she just choses to interpret that to her own end (not in an evil way it's just what lovebirds do, like I already said).
So don't stress yourself out about her not answering it just means this isn't easy for her either. The best you can do is calm down and be ready to talk to her. Because she will most likely be very emotional so it would be best if you atleast were as calm about the issue as you can be.
That's why you have to understand that you have to believe yourself when you tell her that you've never been suggestive or made any advances towards her. You have to be prepared for a whole lot of "but you did X", "you said Y", "always look at me this way", "that one time you X", etc. etc. incase she doesn't come to terms with the issue before she talks to you.
She doesn't want to lose you as a friend either. Of course she doesn't and you're both scared of that happening so don't be scared! If you're both scared it'll just complicate things and end with a lot of bad emotions.
Look I may be repeating myself a bit here and I do apologise for that I haven't had much coffee yet and yesterday was a very long night but here's the bottom line:
I'm not saying you should be a cold heartless block rationality when you talk to her but you have to be sure of yourself. There must be no doubt in your mind. You never said or did anything to make her believe you're interested in her and you know she knows you're hetero. I don't know to what result your friend will come during this time but it may just be that she'll deny the truth to herself and that she consequently will throw all the things at you where she thought you were possibly coming on to her. You musn't give ground then and most of all you must not feel bad for yourself! YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
Ok so I think I've made my point clear lol? Anyways don't worry about it Evinin she doesn't want to lose you and while things may be a bit different between you now it won't break your friendship it may just move you closer together. Just don't be scared.
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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