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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: *MYT ('05)* Contest Entries
Thread: *MYT ('05)* Contest Entries This thread is 2 pages long: 1 2 · NEXT»
Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted February 27, 2005 09:05 AM
Edited By: Leo_Lion on 1 Jun 2005

Current affairs: The MYT GAME is "on hold" for the summer, until September!


***READ THIS POST***

This is where Contest entries will be Posted for the MYT GAME, after a winner has been declared.
This includes both regular Rounds & the Tournaments!

If you want to read the Rules of this GAME, click here.

To see the list of "Who owns which Threads", click here.

If you want to Claim a Thread or Challenge someone for their's, click here!

If you want to see which Contests are taking place, click here!

If you want to know who won whatever Contest, click here!

If you want to make suggestions about the GAME, criticize elements about the Contests or simply give some feedback, you're in the wrong place! Instead click MYT GAME.
____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted February 28, 2005 11:57 PM
Edited By: Leo_Lion on 1 Jun 2005

Copy & Paste your Contest entries...from the list below...into your own Posts.

This way Moderators can award +QPs (if necessary) or, at the least, people can see your Masterpieces in your own Posts, instead of seeing them in mine.

Here is the list:
+++ROUND 3:

@Messiest Chicken Scratch Contest:

Asmodean's entry.
Quote:

Lord_Woock's entry.
Quote:



@Coolest Made-Up Word Contest:

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
Deutchnik

1. A term referring to especially bad or unlucky situations.
Example: "The car broke down? That's a deutchnik all right."
2. A minor expletive; example: "Deutchnik, the toaster set fire to the curtains!".
Note: In some dialects it is shortened to merely "deutch" or "dunik".
Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
Wobblegabblechunks

What jello becomes when you insert a grenade into it.


+++ROUND 5:

@New VW Game Contest:

Terje's entry.
Quote:



@Bizarre Ending to "Mink's Jolly Good Adventure" Contest:

Woock's entry.
Quote:
When the King of Minks sent the letter to the Truntles, they came.
But instead of helping the Minks, they started to dismantle the Minks' huts. Shortly, a few of the huts were no more and the Truntles started building an arena in the middle of the village!

Then Grink and Bork were given a large trout each. 'Enter the arena' one of the Truntles spake unto Grink and Bork.
When they entered, they were told to fight fairly. And so, the fight began.
Grink was rather confused with the whole situation, but then Bork slapped him in the eyes with the trout, and realization dawned.
When Bork was releasing the next blow, Grink caught the trout with his beak and pulled it out of Bork's tongue, and then swallowed it. Then he grinned at the Fruit Monster, who grabbed Grink's legs with his tongue and started begging for mercy.
Grink has won and all were rejoicing!
Except for Bork of course.


@Tossing Contest

Lord_Woock's entries.
Quote:
#1- Says his grandmother's son
Let's start over when you can tell a toss from a VW catchphrase

#2- What the? You ate Pinokio? What, are you a woodpecker or something?
Let's start over when you learn the difference between a toss and a poo joke.

#3- While yours has a history of being hated. No wonder. Who can possibly respect someone who throws perfectly good tea into the sea just like that?


@"Chill Out" Caption Contest:

Dingo's entry.
Quote:


"This guy needs to chill."


+++ROUND 6:

@Ugliest pic of a Person Contest:

TitaniumAlloy's entry.
Quote:



@RL Photos Caption Contest:

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
(Missing picture of Aculias dancing around in a kitchen while a few friends look on)

"I always knew that someday he'd drink one too many root beers..."
Wolfman's entry.
Quote:


"Hi-o silver, away!"


+++ROUND 7:

@Sci-Fi Word Contest:

Wolfman’s entry.
Quote:
Last night, at about 2343 hours, I placed my discarded wastes into the automatic rubbish recepticle.
Vadskye’s entry.
Quote:
Always remember to gorbulate your hydrospanner, or it will spit green jello.


@Love Letters Contest:

Dragon_Slayer's entry.
Quote:
Dear Gorgeous Gorman,

My Darling Gorman, it has been a long time since I have seen you last, my entire life in fact, but my heart skips a beat every time I see your name on the “Who’s Online” section of HC. I want to make you mine Gorman, I can’t bare to see you with any of those other cyber geeks from HC, especially that RSF character. He’s not good enough for you Gorman, you need a man who will treat you right, a man like me! Do you remember that anonymous person who kept sending you pink underwear in the mail? Well that was me… it was the best way to express my love at the time.

Gorman, the day I added you to my msn and you spoke to me, my world became complete. You are the piece that was lost in my 1000 piece puzzle, now I can complete the picture of you and I. As I stare upon your Archangel avatar, which I have printed and stuck on my wall, I can’t help imagine what would happen if I lost you. My cyber life would be destroyed! I would have to
resort to Real Life to make me happy, ohh the horror! I have to go now Gorman, I need a cold shower to relieve the sexual tension that has built up during the course of this letter…. My panties are on fire Gorman, maybe I’ll send them to you ; )

Goodbye my love, I will be dreaming of you tonight Gorman… Now I will end this letter with seven words.

I Love Gorman More Than You, RSF!

Love from
Dragon, Slayer Of Gorman’s Heart"


@Earliest Memory Contest:

Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
Once, when I was little, I peed in a basketball net during a game between my older relatives. How I got up there, no one knows. Either that, or they're protecting themselves...To this day, I still haven't figured that one out.


+++ROUND 8:

@Funny Caption Contest



Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
It looked bigger in the brochure, honest.
Asmodean's entry.
Quote:
Guess you'll need to go on a diet honey if you wanna fit through the door.


+++ROUND 9:

@Flux Capacitor Contest

LKru's entry.
Quote:
In August of 1986, I turned 16 years old and had my drivers license earlier than anyone else in the 10th grade. I was the popular guy amongst my classmates, being able to drive everywhere with no parental supervision... I felt like the king!!! So what is it the King drove you ask? A 1979 Oldsmobile Diesel station wagon (with the wood panels on the side), fully stocked with bench seats, holes in the floor board, 8 track and a shiney flux capacitor!!! This vehicle could go from 0 to 40 in about 45 seconds, and you could tell by the sound of the vehicle that I was within 2 miles of your location  Don't sit in the back seat if you anticipate me hitting any mud puddles, you will get soaked for sure!! If (and this is a big if) I could ever get this dragon wagon to reach 88 miles an hour, I would have been able to try out my flux capacitor. Unfortunately, this never happened, but I always wonder, what if?


@Teams Ideas Contest

Terje's entry.
Quote:
My proposal on how to implement teams into MYT is quite simple. It consits of not implementing teams into MYT. This would prevent the game from becoming even more complicated, and simple games always attracts more participants than complicated ones. Just look at this fall's election in the US.
Woock's entry.
Quote:
IMO the most interesting way to implement teams is through owning other members (Copyright 2005 RSF).

Main benefit of a team:

When the team owner challenges someone or is challenged, he may appoint a team member to compete in the contest (either before or after the contest is posted).

Lower rank team members may appoint others to compete in a contest as well, but they can only appoint their own underlings, unless a different team member offers to take over the competition.

How do you build a team?

When you win three competitions against a certain player and don't lose one between said competitions, that player becomes your underling. Lower rank members can acquire their own underlings as well, which are automatically added to their owner's team. This only applies to teamless players.

How do I steal a member from an opposing team?

To do so, you must have a team of your own. Then you challenge the opposing team for a player, just as you'd challenge a player for a thread. Then comes a team contest, in which at least two players per team have to partake.


@Tossing Poem Contest

Woock's entry.
Quote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Do not be sad
When I toss you!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You're oh so dead,
Because I rule!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You're gonna lose,
So smell some glue!


@TUM "pick-up line" Contest



RealDeal's entry.
Quote:
Hey, you. The sexy girl in the Purpl-ish dress. See the line of women begging to just touch me, willing to pay? I'll give it ALL to you, for free! So, what do you say? You can go back to less than perfect, or you could have a peak at what god molded himself?
Gorman's entry.
Quote:
I wouldn't have to TRY to win a girl such as that over! One look and she'd be crawling at my feet begging to feast on the flesh of TUM!


@Lyrics Contest

Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
From Nickelback's Hero

I am so high, I can see dragons
I am so high, I can see dragons
But thank heaven...no dragons can see me

And they say
That a dragon would eat us
I'm not gonna risk it and stay
I'll hold on to the wings of my griffon
Hide till they all fly away

Someone told me
Angels could save us
But, that cannot be
Angels ain't cheap, cuz

This world's full of killing
And blood spilling
I'm stuck in a game

And they say
That a dragon would eat us
I'm not gonna risk it and stay
I'll hold on to the wings of my griffon
Hide till they all fly away

Now that my turn is soon ending
It's gold that I'm needing from you
I'm desperate for gold from an ally
And that's why I coming to you

And they say
That a dragon would eat us
I'm not gonna risk it and stay
I'll hold on to the wings of my griffon
Hide till they all fly away

Hope they're not watching us
Or chasing us
As we both fly away


@Prom Night Contest



Woock's entry.
Quote:

Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
She was ready for the biggest night of her life yet, and the limo arrived to pick her up, and she and her date rode to the prom in style. But the limo driver turned out to be a dyslexic chimpanzee, and they were soon lost. They pulled into the mini mart, and the driver hobbled in to buy some bananas, but the shop only sold apples, much to the poor primate’s dismay. He was furious, but the lovestruck teens in the back simply waited, unexpecting, as they gazed into each other’s eyes as all good lovers who are too dolled up to make out do. They thought they were still on the way to the prom.

Finally, our valiant hero gave up his fruitless quest and returned to the limo in despair, but he couldn’t find the keys anywhere. Had he misplaced them? The driver quickly turned and saw a shadowy figure dart around the corner and he took off in pursuit, hobbling all the while carefully, so not to ruffle his uniform. Even monkeys can have a sense of style, and this one had more of one than many humans could boast. Despite his careful hobblings, our hero soon caught up to the figure, which had ducked into a dark alley…as if he weren’t grimy enough. Mr. Chimp dashed up, a fire blazing in his eyes, and finally caught the criminal. He grabbed the figure’s collar and yanked to turn him around, only to be distracted by a bright light in the sky. The meteor struck, and the lovers were dismayed. With her final breath, our tragic heroine turned to her date and said:

“I guess this means the prom is canceled.”


+++ROUND 10:

@Best Impression Contest:

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
Here's my entry, impersonating TUM...
Hey, CyberGeeks! You are wimpy, go get some sonlight! You should be more like TUM becuase if you don't be like me then you will shrivel up into geeky nothingness! Come on, Boreman, you need to go pick up some chicks! Chicks are cool. I remember this one time... but a Cybergeek you wouldn't be interested in something like that. You much prefer the company of your computer! And remember...
--------------
Don't me becuase I'm beautiful.


@Funny name Contest:

2Xtreme's entry.
Quote:


"Casting shadows isn't always good"
Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:


"2Xtreme2Park"


@Random entry Contest:

Lord_Woock's entry.
Quote:



+++FORUMS TOURNAMENT #1:

@New Superhero Contest:

Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
Name: The Almighty Bob
Appereance: Just your ordinary Bob. Except his hair is green. For flavor.
Outfit: He wears spandex, because that's how people tell he's a superhero. Unforunately, his mask has no eyeholes, and Bob can't find his scissors. Once he does, though, watch out, evil-doers!
Gadgets: the hang glider of doom, the can opener of justice, the almighty leather strap of improvisation
daywork/secret identity: He poses as Bob, a mysterious worker who never shows up at his cubicle. Why the company keeps him around, nobody knows. We think he has connections...at the zoo.
special abilities: has VERY strong tendons (he eats his vitamins), can eat 50 hamburgers in a minute

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
Name: Ansatsu
Appereance: Cloaked in a dark red cloak. Has a hood almost perpetually over his face. When it is removed, it reveals short, brownish hair, along with a smug smile and piercing green eyes. However, you can't help but think there's something wrong with those eyes...
Outfit/Gadgets: A cloak, and two daggers strapped to his belt and a third in his personal pocket dimension, which is accessible at any time via a short spell. He carries no "gadgets", aside from a few basic smoke for a quick escape.
Daywork/Secret Identity (if any): Ansatsu has long ago given up any trace of a normal life, choosing instead to continually fight crime in whatever form he finds it without having to worry over others getting hurt from enemies he makes.
Special Abilities (no more than 6). First of all, Ansatsu has a mastery of all arcane magicks. In addition, he has spent many years studying in a ninja school honing his skills at stealth and fighting. In Baldur's Gate or D&D terms, think of him as a Assassin dual-classed to a Mage.
Biography: Ansatsu's mother died giving birth to him, and his father, a college professor, was forced to raise him. However, his father was killed in a Mafia hit when Ansatsu was only 12. Desolate and facing starvation, he collapsed one night. Thankfully, a ninja elder named Kalten found Ansatsu and was sympathetic to the boy, himself having a similar experience at a young age. Thus Kalten enrolled Anstatsu in the ninja dojo (or whatever they are called) and Ansatsu's true life began. 14 years later, when Ansatsu was 26, Ansatsu found some ancient tomes dealing with the use and mastery of magic. Ansatsu was captivated and took his leave of the dojo to learn how to learn magic effectively. Journeying to the barren wasteland of Tiberia (Imaginary country. Has many mountains.), he struggled with the tome until he finally had a burst of inspiration. Soon he had mastered the elementary spells, and was proceeding rapidly. He then returned to his home country, and lived there for a year fighting crime and mastering his arcane abilities. Now he has fully mastered his skills and is a formidable force in the ongoing against crime.
Here are some pics of Ansatsu







@Stripper-girlfriend Contest:

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
So, as it happened, Nergal had a friend named Zyketh. They had been going strong for a while, but Nergal never quite knew what Zyketh did for a living. Zyketh never gave a clear answer to the question, so one day he decide to follow her discreetly when she left. She finally stopped her car- right in front of a strip bar! Somewhat shaken by the fact that she had abused their money, he returned to his own job and decided to confront her on the matter that night. When they were both home and eating dinner, he broached the subject to her.

Nergal: "Zyketh, I know where you went today."
Zyketh: "Oh!"
Nergal: "Now, I understand, I've felt the urge to do that too..."
Zyketh: "You have?"
Nergal: "Yes. But it's simply not the wisest course of action."
Zyketh: "I suppose you're right."
Nergal: "So, let's go find you a real job, eh?"
Zyketh: "Alright, I guess so."

And so Nergal never found out that Zyketh was an exotic dancer.


@Mystery Detective:

Asmodean's entry.
Quote:
Okay, so I’d sent the e-mail, “Val Id like to join the Modsquad – blah
blah blah, and finally I’d got my reply…. YES, I’d finally been
accepted into the Modsquad!!

But as I read the e-mail my sense of joy faded.
It read:

From Val – I am pleased to offer you your Modsword, please read up in
MODSQUAD and familiarise yourself with the Modtools, feel free to give
anyone that pissed you off in the past a penalty, especially if they’re
Canadian because they really get on my tits!!

But what you must hold close in your confidence is what I’m about to
reveal.
You may have noticed that when you receive an IM and then click the
back button that an Anonymous IM appears.
To the members we call this the IM ghost, and pass it off as a Joke,
but the reality is much more sinister.
You may have noticed that some of our older members are….not around
anymore.
I believe that they have fallen prey to the IM ghost.

This malicious spirit, true name unknown we believe was born in 1969,
in fact if you look at the date of the member profile of the ‘ghost’
IM’s you’ll see that it was ‘registered’ in 1969…coincidence? I think not!

You may be safe since you are a new Moderator, and I have thought long
and hard about what can be done to combat this invasive and insidious
influence. What you need to do is………

Bhui3ql.wv dxesw
NuiwQ
Help!!

Njkifobf c

I never found out what I needed to do.
And…..what’s more frightening…….has anyone heard from Val lately?!!!


@Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Contest #2:

Pandora's entry.
Quote:
I’d like to start out here by stating my objection to the "D" in OCD. Obsessive Compulsive disorder is by no means a disorder. In fact – I would go so far as to say that people with this condition are way ahead of the pack when it comes to time management skills, level of perfectionism and personal safety. They are dynamos! So for the purpose of keeping my own mind at peace, from now on when you see OCD – please think of Obsessive Compulsive Dynamos. Thank You.

Generally when a person thinks of an OCD, they have a misinformed notion that the OCD’s are crazy people. I think not! An OCD is a person who understand the way things need to be, and will work hard at ensuring that everything is in proper order. That is not a negative thing; it is an extremely positive thing.

In recent political matters, just imagine the difference it would make if President Bush was an OCD. He would not have been content to simply assume there were weapons of mass destruction. He would have turned over every single stone in Iraq personally to be sure they were there, and he wouldn’t have been satisfied just to check once. He would have checked at least three times, personally.

An OCD also sees the huge importance of things that many others will not even recognize. In example, toilet paper. A toilet paper roll should always be hung so that it falls over the top – never so that it goes under the bottom. It amazes me how many people there are out there that don’t realize this. An OCD knows that there are many people who need help in these matters and will always correct the problem. Not only will they correct it, but they will seek it out and correct it wherever it’s needed! Sure, the first few times that you go to the neighbors’ for a routine toilet paper check they may raise an eyebrow at you – and some may go so far as to call the police, but do not be discouraged! Eventually they will become used to these checks, and they will be prepared. They will realize that the way things need to be, and after a while you can stop checking in on them seven times daily; a weekly scheduled visit with three random pop ins should be all it takes to maintain order.

Safety: there are so many ways an OCD is a hundred times safer than your average citizens, I will give only one example as I’m sure it will make my point. When one leaves the house, there is the possibility of an electrical fire even if nothing is left turned on. The best way to avoid any mishaps is to be sure that every bit of electronics that you own are unplugged before you leave. This is also a good rule of thumb for when you go to bed as well, who wants to wake up to find that their house is on fire? It can be a bit tiresome to remember everything that you have that needs to be plugged in, so a smart idea is to make a list and have it laminated. Actually make two, one to keep at home and a wallet sized one to carry with you. Perhaps you’d be best off with three, keep a backup at work or school as well.

It is really in your best interest to be as organized as possible at all times. You’ll never be asking ‘where are the car keys’ if you have a place for everything and keep everything in its place. This is not a disorder! It’s an efficient and healthy way to live

Last note: If you have had difficulty understanding any part of this, it is most likely due to poor organizational skills on your end. What I suggest is that you clear your computer desk of all clutter, have the mouse pad about a foot away from your keyboard on the right hand side. On the left hand side you should have a small bottle of glass cleaner and a small cloth folded neatly next to it to quickly rid yourself of any smudges should they arise. You may have a beverage with you – but be certain that it’s at least 2.5 feet from the mouse pad, and I truly hope it doesn’t need to be said that you should always use a coaster. If you are left handed, you may feel free to flip the sides that these things are on – but do not allow any variance in the distances! Once that is accomplished you should close any open programs and restart your computer. Once it is back up take three deep breaths inhaling through the nose, and exhaling through your mouth. Return to re-read this, and if you still have trouble. Reboot again, but this time while the computer is coming back up walk around your chair in a clockwise direction three times before reading. Keep doing this until you have achieved enlightenment. Thank you.


+++ROUND 11:

@Impersonation Contest:

Pandora's entry.
Quote:
Greetings Cybergeeks

If you are reading this now, it is clear to me that my work is far from complete and my return to you is very necessary.

Some of you have expressed deep concern about the Ultimate Butt not being revealed as promised, and I can understand that the crushing disappointment that you felt must have been quite similar to your anguish when you realized that the upcoming Star Wars release would in fact be the last one.

I have since learned that Pain-dora in a blatant abuse of moderator power something you might better understand as a turn to the Dark Side) was the one who stole my picture.  When I went to her home to investigate, I saw that the entire place was wallpapered with pictures of my butt. To you cybergeeks this might seem to be a shocking sight, but believe me I have seen it more often than I can even remember now.

I would have returned to enlighten you eternal virgins sooner, but my trip to Canada was more fruitful that even I could have dreamed. It seems the poor ladies in Canada are suffering from a lack of NHL Hockey, and are finding themselves with nothing to do. I felt it would be wrong of me not to give the ladies someone to do. There are now many Canadian women gleefully describing the night the snow melted and the Northern Lights shone more brightly than ever before. Nevermore will Saturday Night be known as Hockey Night in Canada, and I have heard that women across the country are now e-mailing their frigid little fingers off trying to ensure that Hockey does not return, but TheUltimateMale does.

So to all of you Cyber-wankers if you ever find the courage to leave your parents’ basement and look for a girlfriend that you don’t have to inflate, I would strongly recommend that you start in Canada, where the women are waiting for anything to keep them warm. Who knows, one day soon even YOU might find yourself crying out “He shoots, He Scores!”.

Understandably, many of you will be too afraid for such a giant leap of faith – and the average Canadian woman may be too much for you to handle. There is still hope for you! Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith will open on May 19th – if you cannot find a Cybergeekette to make you her Padawan at any point during the week long campout before the opener – there is no more that I can do for you.

Good Luck Cybergeeks, and remember….

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful


@Avatar Complaint Contest:

Lord_Woock's entry.
Quote:
Dragon Slayer, could you please CHANGE THAT AVATAR?
For the love of god, you're supposed to be Dragon Slayer, not Slain Dragon! Tons of good avatars out there, but you had to go with the worst L7 of them all >_> And you have no idea how bad it looks on 256 colors! Unlike my avatar, which keeps all of it's beauty!

Asmodean's entry.
Quote:
You know, dragon slayer is soooooo cliché these days!
I mean, people have been Dragon-slaying for years now, and it’s getting a little bit old.
You know what.

I think we should call you….BUNNY SLAYER!!
Then you could change your avatar to this:


Ot maybe you’d prefer to slay THIS type of bunny?


So come on. This might be a half-assed contest entry, but There are WAY better things to slay than Dragons out there.


+++ROUND 12:

@Craziest place to "Get Busy" Contest:

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
Clearly, the craziest place would be inside the stomach or a whale within a free-falling crashing airplane at zero G's. For one thing, there is the obvious slipperyness, squishyness, and slimyness inherent in being within the stomach of a whale. Plus, it's dark and hard to breathe- how are you going to find your partner, especially in zero G's? Plus, odds are that you'll hit the ground before you get anything good going.


+++ROUND 13:

@Caption Contest:



Conan's entry.
Quote:
Let's make a deal here. If you turn around, I'll give you these bags I'm holding; they're all I have!

Terje's entry.
Quote:
The Chinese People - Bravely Fighting Brutal Oppressors For 4.000 Years


@Battlefield Report Contest:

Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
Armageddon

Day 1 – The Time Has Come

We go down to earth today, which now lay in ruins due to the great tribulations that they have endured. Locusts, fiery hail, and sweeping plague have put the earth on edge, and we are now to purge it to prepare for the establishment of our new kingdom – Heaven on Earth. Let us hope that this battle will be swift and just.

Day 34 – Still More Fighting

Armageddon…such a sight to behold.

Our unspoken battle with the forces of Hell has littered the earth with blood, and the cherubim cover their eyes as they watch their seraphim brothers below counter wave after wave of demon hordes. We cannot die, but many wish they could as the tribulation of earth comes to a climax and the world holds its breath as fate hangs delicately and silently in the balance. I just wish the cries would stop.

By the thousands, our fallen brethren are being gathered up and thrown into a burning lake of fire as retribution, their own personal Hell. We have yet to capture the leaders, but the Antithesis to our Christ is fast approaching; he is riding a fearsome beast with seven fearsome heads, who is backed by those lost souls of the world who have been convinced that their side is the strongest. They know not who they oppose, it seems, and still they fight on.

The False Prophet has convinced thousands more to fight for Lucifer, and their ranks grow with each passing moment, the starved and tried humans looking frail next to our brothers from below. They fight for him now, and will therefore be so damned as those who have opposed us since the beginning. I’d say “may God have mercy on their souls,” but it is already too late.

They had their chance, they chose their side. I just wish they had chosen more wisely.

---

Day 47 – An Arrival

Today the skies turned red as they caught fire and brimstone began to rain from above, a chilling omen of what was to come. The lord of deception himself has arrived, and we are bracing ourselves for what will prove to be our most trying battle yet. Once we capture Lucifer himself, he goes into the pit of despair before he joins his comrades in the lake of fire—a special punishment of sorts for his upheaval of heaven.

The beast has finally fallen, and those freed from the control of his mark have been ushered reluctantly to their eternal damnation. The looks on their faces expressed such sorrow as I have never seen before, for heaven holds no sorrow. I will not soon forget my trip down to earth.

Now all we can do is wait.

---

Day 62 – The End

No eye has seen, no ear has heard the wails that pierced the sky as Satan himself arrived and unleashed his last stand against our forces. Only he and the false prophet remained as the last leg of the Armageddon loomed on the horizon, but there was no more use for the prophet now that the sides had been irrevocably chosen. He stepped forward, knowing that his time was up. We had hoped that Lucifer, too, would come in peace, but his supreme pride would not allow it. And so the battle began.

We battled fruitlessly for days, and our adversary showed no signs of weakening. He commanded the darkness, and it was soon apparent that we would not be able to drown such power out alone. We were not worried, though, as we knew the trumpets were coming. And they did.

The heavens opened up and Satan was again face to face with his God that he had so defiantly betrayed ages and ages ago. Now he was to face that same God’s son, who banished all Satan’s power with just three words: “These are mine.”

The enemy began to unravel, and we quickly stormed in and chained him, a crowd carrying him to the pit in which he would spend the next thousand years, a millennium that would also see the rise of our new kingdom. The blood was swept away, and we rejoiced as the trumpets blared.

It was finally over.

2Xtreme's entry.
Quote:
Battlefield Report #4

Dear General Lazeemofo,

Remember you said you wanted only good news? Well, i dont have good new- I mean i DO have good news. The war has taken an unexpected turn. After we showed the Erathian outcast midgets our surprisingly large swords, they worshipped us. Being only 2 feet tall, their swords are incredibly small. Yes, err, now we may claim victory. As a matter of fact, a midget is right here shining my sunglasses. Yes, they worship us now. What they dont know though is i took their queen and i am using her for my own purposes. No, not like that, you sick man. We have enslaved the entire population now. Good day, i shall be home to kill you...I mean, err, get my medal. Ok, its lockdown time, they are confiscating any letters now..I mean, its time for us to feed them....Yes...Oh, any OTHER reports you may hear otherwise, false. Dont worry about them.


+++ROUND 14:

@Story Development Contest:

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
Deep in the forest in the center of the map, there lies a magical tunnel, covered by leaves and magic. Therein lies a whole city of Tunnel Pixies, a bizzare species of pixie that lives underground and s the sun. Nobody knows of this place, save for one person, and he's not telling...


@Horoscope Contest:

RSF's entry.
Quote:
Cancer:

Today you're hair will fall out of your head and you will wear a hat to hide the fact that you are now bald. But you are getting better and will be back to normal in a week or two. Then you will become a cured Cancer patient under the zodiac sign of your choice. You can of course choose Cancer again, but that is why we recommend you stop smoking.

Disclaimer: Bad Puns were used in the making of this horoscope.


+++ROUND 15:

@Valeriy's Garden Contest:

Asmodean's entry.
Quote:


Well actually people, Val hasn't been doing so good lately. The Tai-chi lessons didn't really get off the ground, because let's face it, who wants to learn how to hum and go 'aaaaah' while really slowly moving your body like a tripped out disco-junkie.

And then the Mc Donald's sponsorship fell through. Val really thought he was onto a winner there, getting some of Mc Donald's greedily gotten gains for himself.

He already had the garden planned, to broad hedges containig a veritable paradise of mushrooms and flowers and ferns and herbs.

Then when the Tai-chi is getting difficult and life starts to stress him out a little, just s few treats from Val's Medicinal Garden will make him perky again.

A man can dream can't he? That's why he needs YOUR help.

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:



@Lets have War Contest:

Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
Rock = Bombardment:

After all, you can choose to throw a bunch of little rocks, or one big one like the Americans. After all, we don't like it when countries have bigger rocks than ours.

Beats hand-to-hand combat. Karate chopping a missile ain't gonna do you much good.

Loses to espionage. Have you ever tried to kill a fly with a rock? It's not as easy as it looks.


Scissors = Hand-to-Hand Combat:

It goes without saying that chopping through bricks is not really that similar to cutting paper, but hand-to-hand combat still goes here.

Beats espionage. After all, scissors can always cut through the paper, given they can find it.

Loses to bombardment. Again, artillery beats knuckles any day of the year.


Paper = Espionage:

Spies can fit anywhere, paper can fit under almost any door. It's a match made in the photocopying room of a military base. Or something.

Beats bombardment. After all, spies are usually in enemy territory when they're on duty anyway, so no bombs there. And the fly-rock thingy, that works too.

Loses to hand-to-hand combat. Most captured spies are downed by one judo chop to their unsuspecting necks.


Therefore, each works in its own situation. After all, the most complex thing can be reduced to a game of Rock-Paper-Scissor if you work hard enough to make it so.

2Xtreme's entry.
Quote:
***WARNING*** Vulgar language!

bombardment

See what happens when US gets a black president


@Apology Contest:

Shadowcaster's entry.
Quote:
I'm sorry that I
stole your car.
At least I didn't
get that far.
Who put that pole
there anyway?
Coulda sworn it wasn't
there yesterday.


+++ROYAL RUMBLE TOURNAMENT:

@Wrestler Profile Contest:

Lord_Woock's entry.
Quote:


Silverblade's entry.
Quote:
Tyr-Q-Arshe

Appereance
His name originates from the Norse god Tyr and because his right eye is blue while the left is green (turquoise). He is quite short 1.60 but has a weight of 120 kg (all muscles). His body is covered with scars from old fights. He has blond (pony tail) hair and of course long blond beard and mustache. He usually wears animal fur. A pelt from a great white wolf as a cloak in his back, boots and gloves made with bear fur and a shirt and trousers made by deer and wild boar hides. Occasionally he wears a silver lit plate mail. He always wear a horned helm and carries his two more trusted friends his warhammer and his battle axe (which a covered by ancient runes so his god can watch the fight). Of course he removes them while fighting in the arena by he makes sure that he puts them in a very distinguished place in the set so Tyr can watch too. He sounds like the rifleman or the mountain king from Warcraft III.  
 
Backround info
He claims to be a descendent of a clan of fighters still believers of the god Tyr. When he was young he took the baptism of flaming swords, a ritual that on a few chosen offsprings receive, after they have prove their loyalty to their guardian God.  Even if we don’t know the true name of his village, he has traveled the world testing his might when ever he had the chance. Tyr-Q-Arshe is not a foe to be trifled with.

Entrance
When he enters the stage fires are lit from his gate to the arena while norse war drums rhythms echo throughout the set. 5 tall blond females escort him. They are dressed like Valkyries carrying a sword and a shield wearing a helmet with wings that hides their faces animal hide/fur and leather boots and clothes (but leaving most of their chests bellies and legs uncovered)

Other Info
His most usual battle cry is “For yer, my great God” and his special move is called Hammer Clash (a highly destructive move by which Tyr-Q-Arshe fist first continuously hammers the head of his opponent and then lifts him and slams his head against a corner of the arena


+++ROUND 17:

@Shadow Puppet Contest

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:


I just finished this book, and it was really great. Seriously, you people need to read Orson Scott Card's books. Start with Ender's Game.

Oh, and I suppose you want something funny, don't you? Fine. A teacher of mine has just patented a method for making 3-D shadow puppets. Go figure.


+++ROUND 18:

@Wedding Speech Contest

Conan's entry.
Quote:
Hi, wanna get married?


@Spotlight Contest

Silverblade's entry.
Quote:


I….can.. see….. the… Light…………..!!!



I…..can… see ……..the…. Light…………!!!!!



I.........can’t see........my baby brother..............!!!!!!


@Bowling Ball Contest

Daddy's entry.
Quote:


Korejora's entry.
Quote:


Lord_Woock's entry.
Quote:
Bowling ball
Rolling down the hall
Hit a wall
Rebound
And then fall
Will it ever stop?

Bowling ball
Fell on someone tall
Then continued in its roll
Towards a shopping mall
How long will it shop?

Bowling ball
Does not answer calls
When it stalls
Does not collect tolls
Will it ever start?

Bowling ball
ran over a doll
In its eternal roll
Among things large and small
Is that very smart?

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:

Bowling for Columbine! Yeah, that's a pretty interesting movie. Controversial, to be sure, but definitely worth seeing.


@Capitalist Statue Contest

Conan's entry.
Quote:

This statue symbolizes the "liberty" of the US of A. This liberty coincided with the rise of Crapitalism and so the US, because of it's newfound "liberty", was free to exploit workers, seek workers in other countries for cheap labor and to me, it represents the summum of Crapitalism.


+++ROUND 19:

@Fake Conan Pic Contest

Silverblade's entry.
Quote:

Some say that "a man is always a child within".None mentioned the age...


+++ROUND 20:

@Caught by the Boss Contest

Vadskye's entry.
Quote:
There are a few things I could do...

1. Give him the game. That way he'll stay out of my hair while I play my
games.

2. Say "It's work!" on the assumption that he wouldn't know real work if
it him over the head and stole his wallet.

3. Say "It's work!" and then close it right away so he can't actually
tell if he really saw me playing or really saw me working.

4. Slug him and steal his paycheck to live the rest of your life off of.
His MONTHLY paycheck.

5. Try to hypnotize him into forgetting. "Yoouuu saaawww meee
wwoooorrkkkingg..."

6. Ignore him- too busy playing!

____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted March 01, 2005 06:47 AM
Edited By: Leo_Lion on 25 Mar 2005

Leo_Lion's entries...

Copy & Paste your Contest entries...from the list above...into your own Posts.

Like this:
+++Round 8:

@Poetry Contest

King, sword, spell, valor...
I present Conan with this beautiful flower


Valor, king, sword, spell...
When I'm with Conan, my heart does swell


Spell, valor, king, sword...
Without my Conan, I am always bored


Sword, spell, valor, king...
That jerk just dumped me & kept the ring!"



@Superhero Contest

Name: Misgender

Appearance/Outfit: Dressed like Brittany Spears in "Hit me baby, one more time", but with a more athletic body type.

Gadgets: Hair-pins & cheerleading pom-poms.

Special abilities: Capable of altering bad guy/girl's genders. Also capable of subtle mind control by temporarily changing their sexual orientation. In addition, Misgender possesses the ability to shape-change, in order to appear more appealing to her foes.

Now, just imagine if Misgender went to stop a Bank Robbery. He/She would walk in and make the robbers change into the opposite sex. Now, if that ain't enough to remind anyone of what goes on in prisons, then nothing will. They would immediately freak out, or maybe they would enjoy themselves, but the bottom line is that the last thing on their minds would be robbing the Bank.


@Funniest joke Contest

When NASA first started sending astronauts up into space, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface (including glass), and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians, however, used a pencil.
____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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Conan
Conan


Responsible
Supreme Hero
posted March 03, 2005 02:46 PM
Edited By: Conan on 3 Mar 2005

+++Round 8:
Poetry Contest

Conan's entry.
Quote:
A monarch of a land,
A king as they say,
Governs with his hand,
In his very own way.

Strength in the heart,
Heroes of their day,
Valor is the spell,
Which knights cast away.

From the purest metal of them all,
Held high above the head,
When a sword must fall,
It must be with glory for the dead.


+++Round 9:

Flux Capacitor Contest

Conan's entry.
Quote:
I tell ya, my Audi 90 1993 isn’t what it was when I bought it! After 12 years, and the weather conditions we have in Canada, the parts take a beating!  For example, the exhaust manifold and the flux capacitor had to be replaced last year. And now my mechanic is telling me I’ve got 6 months before I have to change my breaks! Damned cars, I should’ve sold it when the flux capacitor broke, I might of still made some money off of it… L Still a nice car though, don’t you think?"



____________
Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service.... us. - Star Trek TNG

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RedSoxFan3
RedSoxFan3


Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
posted March 04, 2005 02:24 AM

My Entries...

Round 5:

Most Bizarre Ending to Mink's Jolly Good Adventure
Quote:

"Everyone needs a break in the midst of battle," thought the mage as he looked upon the fruit monsters and minks. And he cast a polymorph spell upon them all turning them into squirrels.
The former soldiers could now distinguish no difference between ally and foe. What was once an organized battle of two sides had become a chaotic free for all of cannibalism. The squirrels devoured each other until one was left.
"Congratulations," said the mage. "You are the chosen one meant to lead my people. Now please come with AHHHHHHH!" The squirrel leaped onto the mage's face and was gnawing on his eyeball. The squirrel chewed and scratched all the way into the mage's skull until only its tail could be seen. The mage collapsed to the ground blood splattering everywhere. The polymorph spell subsided and the squirrels returned to their original form. Corpses of minks and fruit monsters were strewn everywhere.

The head of the mage was holding the last living being on the battlefield. It was quickly morphing, growing larger. Pressure began to build as the squirrel grew in size and it began to suffocate until finally the head exploded and the squirrel finally returned to its original form. The King of the Minks smiled with glee as he stood over the body of the mage in satisfaction and gaze about at all that had died. He rubbed his stomach and smiled devilishly.
"Mmm! They look tasty!" he said as he sprawled onto the nearest body.


Tossing Contest
Quote:

#1- Hey Woock.
Your mom goes to college.
So Screw You!
SCREW YOU LORD WOOCK!!!!

#2- Yeah take a look at one of Woock's recent posts.
I probably **** more interesting things than that crap. No pun intended. Look this recent **** I took looks like Lord Woock.
(Missing picture of horse poop with Pinocchio head in it)

#3- You started every toss of yours so far with Let's start over when...
Figures that you formulize all your tosses. You weren't meant to win this Tossing War anyway. Look at your where you're from. Poland. Your country has a history of being pwned.


Round 6:

Picture of the Ugliest Person
Quote:

http://www.cnn.com/interactive/entertainment/0302/m.jackson.bio/story.michael.jackson.jpg


Round 9:

Rewrite the lyrics of a song to make it related to heroes
Quote:



THE HORROR THE HORROR!!!



____________
Go Red Sox!

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Silverblade
Silverblade


Known Hero
Notorious Homo Erectus
posted March 04, 2005 03:27 PM

T.A.K. Satyros' entries - My precious..

+++Round 5:

@New VW Game Contest:

Quote:

"What would you be if you were a.."

The first person says what would someone else from HC be if he/she was a Hero/Creature/Unit/Skill/Weapon/Spell/etc from the HOMM series or other known games (AOE, Warcraft, Diablo, etc) or real life. That person can then choose if he/she wants the TPB answer or more. Example:

RSF:What would Satyros be if he was a creature in Homm?
Woock:A peasant of course
Asmo:More like a gremlin..
T.A.K.:I'm what my name suggests a Satyr! Now what would Terje's skill be?


____________
Back for Oblivion

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RedSoxFan3
RedSoxFan3


Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
posted March 07, 2005 06:46 AM

For this contest I am going to submit two poems. One of them will be a sestina. A sestina is by far the most difficult of all forms of poetry. Sestinas do not rhyme like many other difficult forms. Sestinas normally consist of 6 stanzas all 6 lines long.

Each line of every stanza will end with the same 6 words that will be used throughout the poem. However in each stanza, you must you a different of the 6 words to end each line. Another important piece of information is that the word that ends the last line of each stanza must also be the word that ends the sentence that begins the following stanza. (You’ll see what I mean when you read the poem) Finally the sestina ends with a 3 line envoy that contains all of the 6 ending words. However in my poem, I slightly altered the traditional structure of this poem to give it symbolic meaning.
_______________________________

Addiction

Sitting in class, daydreaming
Instructor asked a question without notice, lost
A surprised frown of the professor, disappointment
Continued meditation, indifference
Asked another question, persistence
A surprised frown again, insanity

Continued meditation, insanity
Of theme parks, of video games, of that special someone, indifference
The professor looks upon the unfocused student, disappointment
Continues with the lecture, persistence
Remembers high school and its simplicity, daydreaming
Remembers cutting class and failing courses, lost

The professor reminds him everyday of the things that he's lost
Things he had lost while daydreaming
A life he had wasted, disappointment
His poor choices, persistence
Left him surprised when things turned sour, insanity
And so he avoided his consequences with the same poor choices, indifference

Addicted to poor choices, indifference
Denial that there was a choice, insanity
But this day was a break in the clouds of his daydreaming
With clarity he could now see, disappointment
For reasons anew motivation and inspiration remained lost
And that ignored professor was as pessimistic and loud as ever, persistence

Loud enough to drown out the never ending calls of the drop out, persistence
Amidst in turmoil, he turns to all he knows, his crutch, his addiction, insanity
Self-acknowledgement of irony and foolishness, lost
Justifications, excuses of his actions he gives to the professor, indifferent
My dog ate it, my hard drive crashed, it will only happen this once, daydreaming
Failed attempts to ignore the professor and submits to his crutch stubbornly, disappointment

The vicious cycle is persistent
One can get lost, caught off guard while daydreaming
Being left in a world of insanity and disappointment

The junkie gets his fix
A feeling of emptiness without satisfaction
The walls of illusion fall down around him
The life of addiction he knows he no longer needs
The student finally takes out pen and paper to take notes
And listens carefully to what his professor has to say
_____________________________

The second poem was written freeform and requires no explanation.
_____________________________

A Part of Me

You are a single cloud
That blocks out my sun
On the brightest of days

You are a sudden chill
That comes when nestled
Up close to a roaring fire

You are the undreamer
Finding displeasure
In what is meant to bring me joy

You are the late afternoon sun
That blinds me with glare
During a summer joy ride

You are a dyslexic priority
Mixing up my perception
Of what needs to be done

Goodbye my dreary sloth
You are no longer wanted

I cast you out
Into lonesome abyss
Never to come back
Never to exist again
As a part of me
____________
Go Red Sox!

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Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted March 07, 2005 07:22 PM
Edited By: Leo_Lion on 30 Mar 2005

Round #10 entry...

@English Paper Contest:

A Well Thought-Out Contest Entry
____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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Conan
Conan


Responsible
Supreme Hero
posted March 15, 2005 04:55 PM

Tournament entry for the Library of Enlightment Forum:

Ok, I had dig back a while to remember this incident that occured to me. Here it is:

It was a rainy day on the beach. I had to stay there all day because I was working as a lifeguard and we where only to; a female lifeguard and I  

Anyways, not much to do as it's raining and so we sit and wait in the lifeguard shack for a little too long... needless to say, we started exploring each other...

Well, while things are getting steamy and the day is going by, we where not answering phone calls that where to tell us that the day had been cancelled and that the lifeguards where all going home. A bus was to come pick us up, a bus with a bunch of collegues of ours.

So as we did not know, all the equipment is still out on the beach and we are in the shack getting ... to know each other very well  At one point, we hear banging on the side of the shack and then people laughing histerically.... we hurry to get dressed and our collegues burst in the shack. I only had a towal wrapped around my waist and let's just say I couldn't turn around to face them. So here I am standing in the shack, trying to pretend filling out the day report while turning my head to talk with them... with a towel around my waits. The girl is still in the back part of the shack just sitting there on the bed with the towels hiding her. Anyways, when never got to finish what we started.  What a day that was. They never let me forget it and they still talk about it when they see me.

Hope you enjoyed!!

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terje_the_ma...
terje_the_mad_wizard


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Disciple of Herodotus
posted March 15, 2005 10:08 PM

Here's my entry for the tournament for the Library of Enlightenment against Conan:

The Funniest Thing That Ever Happened To Me!

Last night, I spent about half an hour writing this:
Quote:
DISCLAIMER: This “story” includes extreme examples of bad taste, not to mention pathetic attempts at being funny. I don’t know which of the two are most offensive (though I lean towards the latter), but consider yourselves warned.

The not-so-very-fun story of Snow White and the 8 Wife Molesters.
”Did they finally leave?” Snow White cast scared glances in every possible direction. Grumpy thought she looked like a frightened deer.
“Shut yer hole, gal,” he simply said to her. “Get yer arse home and make us dinner!”
“Yeah,” Sneezy agreed. “And stop looking around like that! You embarrass us.”
The Prince smacked Sneezy on the head. “Shut yer hole, you worthless creature! No one talks to my wife like that. Except me, that is.” The Handsome Prince turns to Snow White, who’s been hiding behind him. “There, there, my sweet! These untermenschen won’t ever bother you again. But…” He punches her in her stomach with his fist. “If I ever see you talking to another man again, I’m gonna kill you.” He grabs her by the hair, and pulls her towards the little cottage. “And if any of you freaks intend to peek at us as I and my wife are having your wedding night, I suggest you don’t. Cos if I catch any of you little perverts looking, I’ll make sure you’ve all wanked your last wank!”

The next day, Snow White had been dragged from bed by her hair. She was getting sick of that. The Handsome Prince had kept her awake almost all night, but finally she’d become so tired that she simply fell asleep under him. As I said, she’d been pulled awake by her hair, to prepare breakfast for her Handsome husband. After he had finished beating her for burning his bacon while pleasing him, he left for work. “There’s a whole kingdom out there that I have to govern! Is it then too much to ask that you stay at home then, and make sure that I’m comfortable once I get home?” he’d asked her before leaving.

Now, with her hands in washing water up to the elbows, she watched the Seven Dwarves torturing a pig out in the farmyard. “Farmyard?” she thought, “Farmyard!? Wasn’t he gonna take me to his castle, to make me his Queen? That lying, two-faced, good-for-nothing slob!”

A couple of hours later, the Handsome Prince came back. He wondered at not seeing the Dwarves out in the yard, but dismissed his concern, thinking that they were probably out in the forest somewhere, sodomizing each other. “So, woman, where’s my dinner?” he shouted as he entered the house through the kitchen entrance.

The only answer he got, was the sound of both barrels of his shotgun, going off in his face.

“And she lived happily ever after.”

And today, I found out that this wasn’t the competition after all.

Now, this wasn’t particularly funny, you might say.
In reply to that, I only got one thing to say. Generally, life ain’t funny.
____________
"Sometimes I think everyone's just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending to be brave is how you get brave, I don't know."
- Grenn, A Storm of Swords.

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Silverblade
Silverblade


Known Hero
Notorious Homo Erectus
posted March 15, 2005 10:13 PM

+++Forums Tournament #1:

@Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Contest:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*A*'s story
Well there is a guy in HC, you might have seen him you might have not, that is a very delicate matter to observe... He is a nOOb and his name is *A*.
Everyday *A* sats in his computer and surfs on the internet. Every time he wants to visit a webpage he opens 5 different internet explorers yet he works only with the first one and then adjust the others to be on the same website as the first and checks what he have been looking for in each explorer in the excact same order.. After few hours of useless surfing *A* decides to visit the HC. So as soon as he starts loading the page in the first internet explorer he proceeds by doing the same to the 4 remaining internet explorers. The first thing he does as soon as he logs in in every single explorer he checks the "today's posts" section (and does excactly the same with the rest). He starts looking at the list of threads and picks them one by one (and of course he does the same with his other explorers). First he checks the MYT Game of course because he is a member and checks in what stage the game is, if there are any contests in progress, what kind of stupid contests T.A.K. Satyros might have created for him and how many underlined and bold words exist in Leo_Lion's last post and of course always before proceeding to the next post he fixes the same url in all explorers and check excactly the same things in each one with the same order just in case he missed something. After doing that he visits the Tossers Tavern (tunes all explorers in TT) and have a tossbear (that means 5 tossbears one per explorer). But to his misforune Sir Stiven is logged in too and sees our little nOOb drinking tossbear in the tavern where he used to be bartender and starts threatning and insulting him with a post. So *A* reads that post in explorer #1 and then he reads that in the rest in the order he opened them and feels insignificant and sad. Then wants to post his angry reply (by putting lots of k in the end -He puts lots of "k" when he feels sad and depressed- )and he puts all internet explorer in the post reply section and then writes his reply with the many 'k's in the end first in the first explorer then in the second and so one so he finally posts 5 replies( the say excactly the same thing in the excact words and the excact mistakes).Then he sends IMs to Pandora and Val saying his complaints (5 IMs to Pandora all written the same time 5 IMs to Val all written at the same time - all with many k in the end). Then he checks the TUM String adventures and there he sees Lion_Leo and Pandora fighting over who will see TUM's Bum first (5 times that is) and votes to see that bum too (5 times) and does makes a post to explain why he did that (not to mention 5 times) then goes to the "Things that shouldn't be in Tavern Feedback" to see some tossing between Canadians (5 times of course) then a stop at Leo's House of Humor to make himself feel good again (5 times) and final to relax he goes to the VW to play games (always 5 times). If *A* is in the mood he also goes to This or That and posts what he believes it's best (x5 times). Then he closes all his exlorers one by one in the same order he opened them and shuts down his comp.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

____________
Back for Oblivion

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RedSoxFan3
RedSoxFan3


Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
posted March 25, 2005 04:19 AM
Edited By: RedSoxFan3 on 24 Mar 2005

Round 10 Glade Tournament - Stripper Girlfriend Contest:

Charlie sat in the bar staring at one of several dancers. He carefully studied her as she performed her job, a seductive dance before an audience of drunken gawky men. He cringed as he watched her bend over to let an old man in his fifties fumble through his wallet to pull out old worn two-dollar bills, hoping that he is too drunk to notice he grabbed a twenty instead. Charlie looked at his friends who were silent staring at their drinks. He guzzled down the last of his beer.

“I can’t believe this,” he said.

“I’m sorry man,” said Frank, a long time friend of Charlie.

“It’s not your fault,” Charlie said as he got up to go talk to the bartender.

“Excuse me. The woman over there with the black hair,” Charlie said as he pointed at the exotic dancer. “How long has she been working here?” The bartender stared at Charlie for a second and lowered his eyebrow.

“She’s been working here for a couple years,” he said still holding his suspecting glare. Charlie tightened his lips and handed the bartender a ten-dollar bill.

“I’d like a receipt for my tab please,” Charlie said looking back at the dancer to find her standing still staring at him. The two exchanged looks, one of disgust, one of remorse. He remained silent, lowered his head to shield his eyes from her. He left the bar immediately ignoring the change for his ten as well as his receipt. Silently he walked to his car and put his keys in the ignition. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to turning the key. He sat there for several minutes until he saw her come out the entrance now fully clothed. He suddenly found the courage to turn the key and floor it out of the parking lot. But amidst his rage, he felt the need to know why, the need to know immediately. He stepped out of the car and watched her walk across the parking lot hanging her head every so often raising her tentative eyes until she stood a few feet from him, still unable to make eye contact.

“Vera, look at me,” Charlie said calmly. “I’m not angry that this is your job. I’m angry you didn’t tell me.”

“I’m…”she said, her voice shaking. She looked up at him with her teary eyes. “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, but I kept putting it off and putting it off and the longer I did the more afraid I was to tell you. It’s just that it pays so well and with you going to college–”

“You still should have told me about something like this. I should know if drunken idiots are gawking at my naked girlfriend every night when I thought you worked at a hotel… I wish you just told me.”

“Me too,” she said lounging forward for a hug. “Just please don’t tell me I did this all for not.”

“Get in the car. I don’t want to talk about this out here.” Vera stood still and looked at Charlie shocked and fearsome. “I’m not breaking up with you, now get in so we can talk.”
____________
Go Red Sox!

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Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted March 25, 2005 10:09 PM
Edited By: Leo_Lion on 30 Mar 2005

Round #11 entry...

@Impersonation Contest

I would impersonate Dingo, but then my entry would only be 3 to 4 words long!

So, I will impersonate Svarog!

The very nature of this MYT GAME is an obvious attempt to control the masses of HC members. If Karl Marx or Lenin were around, they would point out how an elite few are imposing their will on the populace by offering a “reward-based system” of involvement that renders them blind to the puppet strings controlling their every move! This reminds me of Frederic Nietzsche’s philosophy of existence, which would clarify the role each individual has in organising the disorder in the universe. Through the manipulation of the “people in power”, HC members are finding themselves obeying commands and following rules that would otherwise not be accepted in any other area of discussion. But, due to the clever use of Pavlov’s instant gratification process, the members are oblivious to this control because they are completely focused on obtaining more & more Threads or Forums.

Doesn’t this sound a lot like Capitalism to anyone??? Let’s compare:

The “people in power” are using a “reward-based system” to encourage “the people” to “obtain more & more”.

The “rich” are using “advertising” to encourage “the poor” to “consume & spend”.

Anyway you put, this situation sounds strangely similar to Jean-Paul Sartre’s hypothesis of moral decay and I don’t like it!

By the way, here is a picture of me on vacation:



"Philosophy is to science what masturbation is to sex." - K. Marx
____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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Conan
Conan


Responsible
Supreme Hero
posted March 29, 2005 04:38 PM bonus applied.
Edited By: Conan on 29 Mar 2005

My entry for round 11:

This n00b wants and impression contest. I'll give you one, and since you can't read my post clearly you probably won't understand what I mean anyways, so I'll explain it to you one more time.

This is a Stiven impression in action foobum, and perhaps your n00bish mind can get around to understanding it this time, but read my post well, since I don't feel like taking 2 hours to explain it to you foo!

Now.. im just fed up with this, i dont have the energy to even continue this impression, but I will to amuse you n00bsidians.

About the red star system, I won't spend time to questionize every single penalty i get because every time i say a word that basically every other member can say.. i get a penalty for it.

Point is it doesnt matter what i say or who i say it too. If they wanna see a penalty i will recieve one.

But as you might have noticed i have not even made an attempt to dispute it since it won't change a thing.

Im getting alittle fed up with that now, but ill try and give you another advice. When I received my penalty everyone found it stupid. You see a pattern?

Anyways, since you probably won't even understand what I write and you havent before, you probably won't understand this is an impression about Stiven with his QP issues. Are you following me n00b?

The problem is that members never get rewarded for disagreeing with moderators no matter what they say. If I debate with a n00b and I'm right but the mod thinks I'm wrong, I won't get a QP even if my post is constructive and in the top 2% of HC.

Solution: ?. Ive brought up several ideas on how to work on this behind the scenes and what my experience tell me is important in matters like this since I talk to Val all the time on MSN and I've had several exchanges with Pandora. Once again what you mods needs to realise is that you need to work this out. I can tell you what to do, but you never listen to me anyways, so what does it matter if I try?

And my solution is just about as easy as its complicated if you want to be, since you never comprehend the logic behind my reasonning. It can be very easy, just make each other know that giving out "disagreeing QP:s" isnt personal but just a follow by the CoC for being objective about good reasoning. Meaning, you look at the reasoning around the post instead of the actual outcome from it. But what does it matter? You've probably quoted me and distroying my posts not even understanding the basis of my arguments.

So the fact of the matter is that you want an impression on Stiven and I tried to do my best without disrespecting him. Can you at least understand that this was an impression? I didn't think so.

So there.

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Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted March 31, 2005 02:36 AM bonus applied.
Edited By: Leo_Lion on 30 Mar 2005

Round #12 entry...

@Current Events Contest

The Schiavo situation...

As the Florida Supreme Court refused to hear the appeal to have Terri Schindler-Schiavo's feeding tube reinserted, (based on testimony proving that she did not want to live in a vegetative state) her parents began pleading with Florida Governor, Jeb Bush, to intervene. He made statements regarding the situation, but also decided not to get involved with the extremely delicate situtation.

In a new and desperate line of action, Terri's parents & a major pro-life group organized a million-person protest in front of the Whitehouse. Touched by the display of concern and devotion that he witnessed, President George W. Bush decided to visit Terri Schindler-Schiavo in the hospital before making any statements or decisions on the matter.

As he arrived and met with the helpless & dying woman, the President felt his heart tear in two. On one side, he wanted to insert her feeding tube and let her live, but on the other side; he wanted to respect the Courts' decisions & Terri's wishes. So, as he exited the hospital room and faced the media in a massive press-conference, many people were shocked to hear what the President had to say:

"I have decided to follow the rulings of the Florida Court of Appeals and not reinsert Terri's feeding tube.

My most sincere regrets go out to her loving parents.

I cannot, however, stand by and watch her die in such a horrific & inhumane manner. Therefore, I have decided to have Terri pass-away quickly through the aid of a lethal injection. I want this to be done quickly and with as much respect as possible, so I will give her parents & husband one hour to say their goodbyes, then, I will be in the room with the doctor as the final step is taken."

So, as the next hour went by, Terri's family went into room #319 one-by-one to see her and say a few loving words. In the meantime, President Bush signed the necessary "Order to Terminate" documents that would put an end to a volatile situation that was threatening to divide people & families from around the world, at their very core.

In the final moments, the President hushered out the last remaining family members, sat down, and waited for the doctor to come in. As the door shut behind him, the doctor could be seen looking down at the patient's chart and reading the "Order to Terminate" one last time. When he finaly exited room #319 ten minutes later, the doctor shakily declared that the work was complete and then quickly went off to deal with his grief.

As nurses went into the room to take care of the necessary details, they were horrified to find Terri Schindler-Schiavo still alive and George W. Bush dead in his chair. When the doctor was later questionned about the situation and asked why he had killed the President and not Terry, he replied:

"Why is everyone looking at me like that? I simply did my job, alright! I'm not happy about what I did, but I was just following the Order to Terminate. It clearly stated: 'You are hereby ordered to perform a lethal injection on the vegetative patient in room #319 that has zero brain activity and to verify their death.'

Well, when I got into the room, I saw Terri quietly lying on the bed and then I saw the President...so it was a no-brainer!"

____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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RedSoxFan3
RedSoxFan3


Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
posted April 04, 2005 01:36 PM

Round 13 Contest: Battlefield Report

The Charge:

I had marched all day. Blisters had formed on the bottom of my feet. But such minor things were merely an annoyance. I looked at my comrades beside me, and then those beside them, and beside them, and so on until I could see nothing but tiny specs in the distance. There were thousands of us, all come to fight for our King, to defend our lands. Our leader, our general, rode up and down the lines with a bold, inspiring speech, yet not once did I hear a single word he had uttered, as I was standing outside of myself, looking across the fields at the obstruction, the final blockade in our righteous path.

Instinctively, I raised my arm and gave a primal yell. It seemed that some part of me could hear the man's words or maybe it was just a collective unconscious controlling my every move. I certainly had no control over what my body was doing. The call for the charge had come. I could feel nothing, not the blisters on the bottoms of my feet, not the deep, heavy breaths I was taking, not even the impact of the ground upon each step I took. And then I felt it. The feeling of iron piercing through my heart, the feeling of hitting the ground and the feeling of being trampled by my own allies. But the last thing I experienced was the feeling of nothing. I had never imagined freedom could be so glorious.

____________
Go Red Sox!

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Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted April 08, 2005 06:18 PM

Round #13 entry...

@Writing Contest

Oh man, do I ever have a story for you!

One Saturday afternoon, I was just lounging in front of my computer and Posting some jokes on HC, when my doorbell rang. It was the middle of the day, so I figured I would be facing a pathetic door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman or some righteous Jehovah's Witnesses. So, as I opened the door with an impatient look on my face, I was surprised to see a gorgeous Pixie standing before me.

Although she was out of breath & panting, she managed to explain how she had flown to my home as fast as she could, in order to solicit my expert services for an important battle her race was involved in. At this point I got all giddy...not only because she wanted to solicit my expert services, but also because I was mesmerized by the heaving of her enormous chest.

As she noticed that I was undressing her with my eyes, she said that if I followed her, I would be surrounded by beauties such as herself. Having no blood left in my brain, I quickly accepted and let her grab my wrist & fly-off towards what I what thought would be a full-blown-s*e*x-sandwich (Where I am the meat and the pixies are the bread! )

En route, she described to me how a group of nasty Harpy Hags had ventured onto Pixie territory and were causing havoc amongst the population. The Pixies had attempted to drive the beasts off their lands, but without any real leadership to focus their collective might, they had failed time-after-time. She went on to say that this was why she had come to me and that if I were to lead the Pixies to victory, I would be able to get my hands on "mounds" of rewards.

Needless to say, I was ready for battle!
____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted April 11, 2005 07:30 AM

Round #14 entry...

@Story Development Contest:

The land of the Forgotten Meadows

Nesttled within the confines of high-peaked mountains, I stumbled upon the village of Flowstream a year ago, during my travels across Tanaran. Having come from an organized society that put extreme importance on tradition and the hoarding of resources, I immediately embraced the lifestyle that the easy-going people of this quaint village had adopted.

Upon my arrival, I was surprised to be welcomed with open arms by the villagers, who later told me, that they had not seen someone new for many years. It seems that the passage that I had found, had been blocked with snow & rocks for decades, but when I had made my way through the mountains, I had only been tested with a few hard climbs and 2 mild storms.

As the days quickly became weeks, and eventually became months, I was continuously captivated by the beauty and splendor of the surronding landscape; and moreso by the honesty & simplicity of the village's inhabitants. The people from Flowstream were always eager to hear about my previous exploits, but I was more interested in learning about the sheltered meadows and surrounding mountains. To my delite, a young lady named Helen, had taken on the "responsibility" of showing me around and making sure that I could provide the basics of life for myself.

Over time, she and I became friends and then lovers. I had never expected to find such a beautiful place when I had set out on my journey aross Tanaran, and to find the love of my life here, had been a welcome addition to my incredible new life in Flowstream.
____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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Conan
Conan


Responsible
Supreme Hero
posted April 11, 2005 06:54 PM

+++Round 14:

Fake photos:

My entry - fake photo of Wolfman.




____________
Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service.... us. - Star Trek TNG

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Leo_Lion
Leo_Lion


Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
posted April 13, 2005 10:54 PM
Edited By: Leo_Lion on 13 Apr 2005

Round #15 entry...

@TUM Contest:

I am certain that 'TheUltimateMale' is Asmodean!

I have run multiple simulations on my ultra-fast 486 CPU and subjected my theory to rigorous testing, the likes which 'Castrol Motor Oil' would be proud. Besides all of these positive scientific results, the fact remains that a simple "common sense analysis" can prove that Asmodean is TheUltimateMale. So, without further delay, let's begin by breaking down what the ultimate male means, in order to illustrate who he is:

To women, an ultimate male is someone who understands their emotional complexity, loves to shop, knows a thing or 2 about fashion, & gossips about other's dirty laundry. As far as I know, almost every gay man fits that description, and Asmodean is certainly no stranger to crying like a woman, buying skimpy undergarments, strutting around in high heels, and talking about his 'girlfriends' behind their backs...we all remember that cat-fight between him and Pandora a few months ago, right?!

To men, an ultimate male is someone who is macho/cool/tough, drinks beer, likes sports, and plays video games. Therefore, it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that Asmodean fits the description perfectly...He is the lead singer of a rock band, he drinks Guinness as fast as they can make it, he puts out his cigarettes in the palm of his hand, he lives in Manchester United country for God's sake, and he was the driving force behind the creation of the Other Games Exist Too Forum.

Besides these rock-solid arguments, if we examine the fact that TheUltimateMale is a male escort, it goes without saying that this would fit Asmodean's personality like a glove. Let's not forget that he is a student after all, so he needs to make money in order to survive, but he also needs time to study. So, what better way of 'killing 2 birds with 1 stone' than to sell his sexual services at high escort prices. Being gay and having slept with a woman before, he is also open to escorting customers of both genders. This allows him to quickly find clients, charge them a premium rate, and get back to his studies.

Speaking of rock solid arguments, check out the abs in this picture that I found of him...which once-&-for-all proves that Asmodean is 'TheUltimateMale'.


____________
*The end to no beginning...



*Take care, Leo

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