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| Thread: Humor thread |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · «PREV |
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 21, 2005 06:45 PM |
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That was a great story!
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted May 21, 2005 09:47 PM |
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I object to the cows story as there isn't one of the British! 
Though it could go:
You have two cows
One of your cows is eaten by an American cow in a "regretable incident" after you sent it to the middle east to try and bring proper cows to the region
Your remaining cow is killed by your own government to placate the EU when it's found to have more diseases than you've ever heard of.
You are forced to buy milk and meat from abroad whilst you get more cows. The foreign goods is still cheaper than what your own would have been anyway.
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 22, 2005 08:57 PM |
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ROFL
Excellent addition PH.
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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DoddTheSlayer
Promising
Famous Hero
Banned from opening threads
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posted May 25, 2005 09:43 PM |
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The man looked nervously around the room realising that he was the only guy at the party who was wearing a Tux and bow tie.
The looks he was getting made him feel as welcome as a fart in an astronaut suit.
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Retaliation is for the foolish. Silence is wisdom
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Khaelo
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Underwater
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posted May 28, 2005 03:25 AM |
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"It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" Worst Opening Sentence for a Novel Contest (officially the Bulwer/Lytton Fiction Contest) -- Find the winners here.
My favorite? "She wasn't really my type, a hard-looking but untalented reporter from the local cat box liner, but the first second that the third-rate representative of the fourth estate cracked open a new fifth of old Scotch, my sixth sense said seventh heaven was as close as an eighth note from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, so, nervous as a tenth grader drowning in eleventh-hour cramming for a physics exam, I swept her into my longing arms, and, humming 'The Twelfth of Never,' I got lucky on Friday the thirteenth."
by Wm. W. "Buddy" Ocheltree, Port Townsend, Washington
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 Cleverly
disguised as a responsible adult
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted June 02, 2005 07:35 PM |
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Edited By: Consis on 2 Jun 2005
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Tee Hee
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp between two missing teeth,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally gives a thit".
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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ratmonky
Famous Hero
Abu Hur Ibn Rashka
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posted June 02, 2005 07:42 PM |
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LOL, that was a great one Consis! 
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Dies illa, dies irae,
Calamitatis et miseriae.
Requiem aeternum
Dona eis, dona eis Domine.
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