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Heroes Community > Bards Glade Pyre (RPG) > Thread: Woocks Spam Angels
Thread: Woocks Spam Angels This thread is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT»
kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted September 17, 2006 10:45 PM
Edited by kookastar at 22:47, 17 Sep 2006.

Woocks Spam Angels



Narrator:

Some say the City of Los Angeles has no soul, that the last vestige of innocence was sucked from its heart like a child seeking the last drops of a vanilla milkshake through a fat, cracked straw.  The sound is similar too.  ChsleehsolLOoSsslLoolchsleessLLoOllOOll. The whurr of vehicles mingle with an occasional shout from the people trapped within its normality; floating in its strangeness.  

Surgically enhanced bodies of plastic mask the presence of the beings that do not quite belong there.  Spam is ridiculed by the mass media whose global propaganda campaigns aim to suppress its power.  The power it has over the growing body of evil that spreads throughout the city.  

Only one of the elders with this knowledge remains.  A master of Spam, a man whose sacred rituals must be protected and shared for the good of all.  The time has come.  He must find a new breed of Spam warriors.  They must have their souls intact, but more importantly they must be sexy.

Or so it is believed…

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted September 17, 2006 10:46 PM

'Woock?', John Mighty said as he entered the office. It didn't look particularly fancy, but it didn't look cheap either. In fact, it appeared as spartan as expensive-looking offices get.
'What is it, John?' was the reply.
'Uh,', John started, browsing the papers he was holding. 'Your last crew died in a freak accident involving a...', he paused to squint at the documents again 'gargantuan banana.'
'Damn, that's the third time this month. And those folks showed promise, too.'
'Yeah, it's a shame.' John said.
'Well, go find replacements. And please, someone who can survive at least a month this time'. Woock sounded rather annoyed.
'Will do, boss', John said and left the office.

Gargantuan banana? The hell...?
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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TnT_Addict
TnT_Addict


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
posted September 18, 2006 08:58 PM
Edited by TnT_Addict at 21:02, 18 Sep 2006.

Scene takes place in the parking lot of "Luigy's meatballs and just balls, balls, balls"

Small electrical storm causes a shortage throughthout the entire block, oppening some sort of a time gate. Peoples curiousity makes them rush out to the street to see whats going on, when a bright light momentarily blinds all of them and after they regain their sight, their eyes are focused only on one thing.

A naked, hairless, white, blonde guy with a scaly skin, two big white transperant eyes and some really big lips kneeling right there infront of the establishment.  

Starting program for... Fisherminator

Scaning for asians chicks...

...

Found 3 compatible asian chicks... checking...

Results - NOT FOXY ENOUGH...

Looking for clues on whereabouts of more asian females...

Final Fantasy 13 is out... Disks are shiny, success rate 99.8%

GO GO GO!!!


His white eyes search the crowd and stop on a navy soldier dressed in his formal white uniform.

"What are you looking at you weirdo!?"

"I have need of your cloths, your shiny bucks and your scooter..."

FM rose to his feet, the women were awed by the sight the men felt ashamed of themselves and turned their eyes to the ground. With quick 3 steps he was near the soldier dude.

"You asked for this you son of a gun, DO NOT mess with the navy bucko!"

He swung a punch...

That was the last thing he remembered after waking up in the hospital without his clothes...

Fisheminator was on the loose...

____________

Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted September 20, 2006 08:34 PM

Scene take place in dark ally,in LA.
darkvoice:Iris,Demon_child and kooka,are your targets,you know what to do,report to me at any prograss.
Boris:Yes master.

Boris takes out hes cool 6th generation cellphone and pushes a butten,and a motorcycle with helemet apears next to him
*RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*
as he goes..

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supersonic
supersonic


Famous Hero
being digested. E=mc^2, s=vt
posted September 28, 2006 05:58 PM

The automatic doors of a McDrive opened. A muscular man went in. His blue eyes looked half-shut, as if he was driving the whole night. He immediately realized that almost all women inside the restaurant were looking at him. He was already used to that. Slowly, he got closer to the Japanese-looking woman in the black and white McDonald suit and asked:
"Can I have a cup o' coffee, please?"

The woman started making the coffee as though some invisible force steered her. Not even a minute has passed and the coffee, as dark as a night, was ready.
"That will be 2 bucks."
"Thanks ma'am." The man opened a leather wallet and took out a 5$ note.
"Keep the change"

He drank the coffee, warming his throat and slowly returing to life.
When he left McDrive, all of the people returned to their normal behavior, some women gasped sadly...

A blue Kawasaki motorbike was cruising the motorway to LA.

"Woock, I hope you've prepared a welcome party for me..."
____________
I am having a new style
Big, fat, naughty. Potential girlfriend - pm me.

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Shadowcaster
Shadowcaster


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Shaded Scribe
posted September 29, 2006 08:38 PM

(OOC: Thought I'd try a much different style for this one than I'm accustomed to. We'll see how it goes. )

Nahr Raetorr is lounging in his...lounge.

Ohr: Dad, that "narrator" dude is at it again.
Nahr: Zounds! *rushes to the scene*
Narrator: So, we meet again, my worthy adversary.
Nahr: This is my gig. Get lost!
Narrator: Funny, I thought it was mine. I suggest YOU get lost!
Nahr: A duel, then?
Narrator: Yes, the usual.
1...
2...
PAPER!   (Nahr): SCISSORS!
Nahr: Ha! Now scram.
Narrator: We'll meet agaaaaaaaain...*fading*

Nahr (clears throat): IN A WORLD...
____________
>_>

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supersonic
supersonic


Famous Hero
being digested. E=mc^2, s=vt
posted September 29, 2006 10:13 PM

A blue Kawasaki motorbike was cruising the Motorway to LA, when suddenly a sign emerged. Driver stopped hi bike and slowly read...
"Los Angeles - 1 Mile"
...
"In a minute I'll be there, Woockie, and you know I have something you want"

I black Puma rucksack gave a lot of heat to the man's back, but he didn't care. What was inside, was too important for him.

After a couple of minutes, the continuous rattle of the Kawasaki motorbike started to fade. A huge metropolis appeared in front of the boy's eyes. The motorcycle stopped in the parking in the city centre. The boy quickly jumped out and smelled the air around him.

"Yep, I am in LA. The essence of all evil. Time to go search for Woockie."

Something shook in a rucksack.

"Peace, little boy, peace... soon, you will get to the right hands..."

Suddenly, three huge males emerged from the sides. Their fists were gigantic. Boy seemed to be doomed. Yet, his face showed no fear.

"Nice motorbike you got there. Betcha' it can be sold for quite a'lotta money!"

"You guys want it? Then take it!" - the answer of the boy was quick and confident.

The first giant rushed at the boy. He was going to literally go over him. Seconds passed. Boy stood still. Gorilla man ran. Boy stood.
10 meters away...
5 meters...
2 meters...
Suddenly, there was a swift and short sound and after a few seconds the ogre was down. Boy was still standing where he was before. He glanced at his backpack.

"Good job lil' one."

The other two giants ran away...

"Woock, I know you are gonna pay a lot of money for my little friend..."

A little smile appeared on his face and a squeeky sound could be heard from the backpack.
____________
I am having a new style
Big, fat, naughty. Potential girlfriend - pm me.

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friendofgunnar
friendofgunnar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
posted October 04, 2006 12:02 AM
Edited by friendofgunnar at 00:03, 04 Oct 2006.

DC moved along the bottom of the seafloor.  Fatigue was beginning to set in her legs but she was determined.  She was going to find something today.  She needed to.  Today was the fifteenth anniversary of the worst day in her life.  

Her tank was starting to get low.

The Santa Luita was a royal galley that had gone down 400 years earlier.  Treasure divers had already found the wreck a long time ago and picked it clean.  She had gone down though and noticed something that nobody else had, that the ship was missing it's full complement of guns.  The fact stuck in her mind.  Then a couple of years later she had been sitting in a bar and had heard another diver making a comment that they had found a cannon a couple miles away from the wreck.  As she sat there listening to the diver's story a surge of realization washed over her.  The Santa Luita had been lightening it's load before it had sunk.  Perhaps there was a powder explosion that hadn't completely demolished the ship and it had limped along until it finally foundered in it's present location.  There was more to be found, she could feel it.

A recent hurricane had whipped these waters into a frenzy and she had flown here on a hunch.  A hunch that she could find the missing wreckage.

She checked her tablet, all the features that the radar had suggested had already been checked off.  She could either return or continue searching blindly.  If this had been any other day she would have turned back.

She swam around until she found a good place to place the Vorsky sediment puller she had been towing.  Her dive partner uncoiled the other end of it until the sediment she sucked up with one end was spewed out at least 5 meters away.  She flipped it on and started working in patterns, ocasionally stopping to work at a feature that piqued her curiousity. She wouldn't give up, she had to find something today.

Something caught her eye.  She moved the intake tube aside and dug with her fingers.  Her hands struck hard cold metal.  She made a sign to her dive partner and he came over.  Together they worked the site until they had enough to show the dive team waiting on the surface.  They both pushed off and her heart was exultant as they both worked their way to the surface.  This is what she needed today. Finally she had led a successful discovery.  Dad would have been so proud. Her dad.

Demon Child he had called her.  Then it was shortened to DC.  Then came the incident and the initials came to mean something else.   Now...they called her Disco Chick.  She broke through the water.

This was going to make the evening news.  DC and her team were going to be famous.  As she pulled herself up the ladder of the boat she could almost feel her dad's arms on her shoulder.  "You make me so proud DC" she could imagine him saying.  She smiled as she reached into her utility belt.  The coins made a heavy clanking sound as they hit the deck of the ship

"Solid Gold BABY!"  she shouted to her dive team. "It's Time to Boogie"

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supersonic
supersonic


Famous Hero
being digested. E=mc^2, s=vt
posted October 04, 2006 10:44 PM

A blue phone box shook as its doors slammed open. A handsome boy went in.
"Now... where's that bloody card?"

His whole jeans vest rattled as he looked through his pockets in search of a piece of plastic...
"Gotcha!"

A phone card went smoothly into the little hole. He heard the voice of the lady. The boy always wondered: is there actually a person out there, without any feelings or sense of humor that is saying all this c**p?

"Please, dial your number"

A few short blips could be heard as the number was dialed.

"This is the central bureau of WOOCK. There is noone currently to answer your call, so please leave a message" BLIP

"Ole' trick guys..." The boy thought in his mind. Woockie never answered his phone, it was ole' b******'s safety trick. And there's no such thing as WOOCK organization.

" Well, well, well... Long time, rite' woockie? Listen, I got this thing. I dunno what kinda **** might it be, but you gotta see it. Meet me in the Disco Club in 1 hour, y' know, that club where Baccardi is pouring down the sink and Mafia Boys do their dirty interests. Yeah... it is the safest place for us to meet.

By the way, I haven't seen you for a long while, so come in a yellow Chevrolet Corvette. Y'know how my bikey looks like, right?
"

1 HOUR LATER

"In Da Club" (50 Cent) Music
A huge hall full of disco lights. Pretty women do the pipe dance, while water couches are filled with fat bosses of mafia and their girls. One of the couches, however is almost empty; only a muscular man in a jeans vest is sitting there.

"Please, Woock, come... Please!"
____________
I am having a new style
Big, fat, naughty. Potential girlfriend - pm me.

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russ
russ


Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
posted October 05, 2006 09:37 PM
Edited by russ at 21:38, 05 Oct 2006.

The Mad Scientist was not quite sure how to handle the death of his only son.

His son was a weird-looking critter with 3 heads: serpent's, goat's and lion's head. It was a freak accident involving an UZI and a stupid idea. The critter decided that he may have the same powers as the dreaded chimera and that once he shoots one of his heads off, it will immediately pop back in... but it didn't.

After burying the critter and stashing his UZIs, The Mad Scientist was not sure if he should be happy because the world got rid of one of the greatest mistakes of the nature, or should he be mourning the critter because it was his son. So, he decided to go get drunk regardless.

At the bar he was approached by some Russian who claimed that he can dodge bullets. His future plans involved destroying the world and he wanted to start by destroying all of Woock's Spam Angels.

"So, can you tell me why do you want to destroy the world, again, Boris?"

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted October 05, 2006 11:18 PM

As he explains


"well think of it,most people have alot of stuff no? and we dont ...so ...kill them..have it..prefome expeariments,that only strongest survive, to become the leaders of new humeinty army.."

he reaches for another glasses of vodka and zips

"Now if we could work together,i'd need your help with destruction of world.."
____________
types in obscure english

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russ
russ


Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
posted October 06, 2006 12:04 AM

"hmm, so if we destroy the world, who will we perform the experiments on? wouldn't taking over it be a better idea?"

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted October 06, 2006 12:10 AM
Edited by antipaladin at 00:10, 06 Oct 2006.

"we kill those who cannot be expearment on,and only the strong surivee!"
____________
types in obscure english

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russ
russ


Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
posted October 06, 2006 12:15 AM
Edited by russ at 00:17, 06 Oct 2006.

The Mad Scientist needed to absorb the new information he received from Boris, so he yelled as loud as he could, and ran out of the bar though the window (shattering it in the process). The barflies watched him run and scream until the yelling faded away into the night.

...

After a few minutes of absolute silence, the bartender was the first one to speak.

"sooo.... who's gonna pay for all this?" said the bartender and looked at Boris.

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted October 06, 2006 12:17 AM

Boris took another zip form avodka,pulled hes blade and cut the throat of the bartender,and then also rubed hes cash,and car keys.

____________
types in obscure english

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supersonic
supersonic


Famous Hero
being digested. E=mc^2, s=vt
posted October 06, 2006 04:55 PM
Edited by supersonic at 19:09, 06 Oct 2006.

"Woock didn't come"

Sadness burst out of boy's face. He looked as though there was a knife in his stomach and he could not remove it in anyway. The rucksack... what was inside, didn't belong to him. It was a fifth wheel in a trunk, something you don't want to have... or maybe you don't dare to have...

Suddenly, his eyes were caught on two Russian-looking gentleman close to bar. And then he saw it: the bartender was dead... how come no one else saw it? Oh... it was a maffia's place.

"Well, maybe they'll want to talk to me"

His hand clutched on the handle of the Beretta.

"I have never killed a person... Tonight that may change.
___________________________________

He slowly walked towards the Russians

"Hello, gentleman, would you like to speak to me for a second?"

____________
I am having a new style
Big, fat, naughty. Potential girlfriend - pm me.

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baklava
baklava


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
posted October 06, 2006 06:27 PM

After a long night in a local Irish pub, Bananaman suffers a paranormal experience: while he's walking a street, the asphalt rises and slams him right in his face.
A couple of hours later, he gets up, wonders how he managed to go to an Irish pub anyway when his robot is broken, and, failing to determine whether it is tuesday or november, collapses on the asphalt again.

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted October 06, 2006 09:03 PM

The russian guy dressed in dark lether clothing of some sort elegncy with a ciggert in hes mouth aproches the guy who asked him.

"Da?"
____________
types in obscure english

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supersonic
supersonic


Famous Hero
being digested. E=mc^2, s=vt
posted October 06, 2006 09:13 PM

"Well, I don't think that what you have done is legal in this city!"

He aimed his Beretta at the stranger

"Now put down your weapon and shut the **** up!"

A few sweat droplets fell down on the carpet.

"What I have in my backpack is worse than all atom bombs put together, more expensive than all Rolexes in the world and I want it less than any disease in the world!"

He calmed down...

"You don't want to mess with me, child. Put down your sword and we'll go to the Police Departement."
____________
I am having a new style
Big, fat, naughty. Potential girlfriend - pm me.

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted October 06, 2006 09:18 PM

I move my sword quickly and cut a very small fregment of the gun,now SS new if he shoot,i'd blow up along with the rist.
I throw 2 of my cards in hes pocket,and ran away quickly before he managed to understand what happen..

The card says :Antipaladin,Murders inc
____________
types in obscure english

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