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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: Why do men hate being called gay?
Thread: Why do men hate being called gay? This thread is 9 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 · «PREV / NEXT»
Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted July 01, 2008 11:26 PM

Quote:
I am not gay and I'm not interested in the gay community's problems. I'm just tired of the gay and anti-gay propaganda. I wish people would just shut up and drop the stupid issue. It's hardly an issue anyway. If you're not gay, why do you even care..


If you are referring to the "unnatural" argument, I couldn't agree more. If you are talking about gaycommunitys problems in general, not a chance! I find it especially strange from a guy from Poland, who says one of his best friends is gay.
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Daystar
Daystar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
posted July 02, 2008 01:13 AM

Quote:
If you're not gay, why do you even care..


'bit like asking a white person from the 60's why he cared about the black people's problems.
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Corribus
Corribus

Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
posted July 02, 2008 05:31 AM

@Doomforge

Quote:
I am not gay and I'm not interested in the gay community's problems. I'm just tired of the gay and anti-gay propaganda. I wish people would just shut up and drop the stupid issue. It's hardly an issue anyway. If you're not gay, why do you even care..

Yeah, maybe you're right.  When an entire group of people are discriminated against, and don't have equal protection under the law, it's probably not worth caring about.  As long as your rights aren't being trampled on by bigots, I guess it's not important to worry about it....

(sarcasm off)

Ironically, though I think the biological/biochemical aspect of sexuality is an interesting topic, I've never understood what the political connection is to this aspect of homosexuality.  Is homosexuality genetic or environmental?  An interesting research problem, but I don't see how it really makes a difference as far as homosexual rights are concerned.
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OmegaDestroyer
OmegaDestroyer

Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
posted July 02, 2008 05:33 AM

Quote:
I've never understood what the political connection is to this aspect of homosexuality


It'a an excellant distraction.
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TitaniumAlloy
TitaniumAlloy


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
posted July 02, 2008 08:36 AM

I don't care because it's obvious that I'm not so it's not really taken seriously.

Usually, among my friends, when someone is called "gay" it doesn't mean "likes ****" or whatever, it's just another negative insult.
Even girls are called gay
"You're so gay!"
or
"Man, this is gay"
Are probably heard every day lol.


Very rarely is someone who is actually homosexual called gay to spite them. If they are the person wouldn't use the word gay, there are other more offensive words now.


I think the most offensive time when it is used is when a guy is being effeminate or is wearing different clothes and his actions/sympathies/emotions/fashion is called gay, which is a serious put down to a straight person.
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted July 02, 2008 09:54 AM
Edited by Doomforge at 10:04, 02 Jul 2008.

Quote:
Yeah, maybe you're right.  When an entire group of people are discriminated against, and don't have equal protection under the law, it's probably not worth caring about.  As long as your rights aren't being trampled on by bigots, I guess it's not important to worry about it....

(sarcasm off)


I am tired of the exaggerating. I don't know even ONE single gay person being discriminated in the capitol of Poland, a country which is - supposedly - homophobic. I know hundreds of people, a tiny bit of them are gay, they say they NEVER were discriminated in any way, even if people don't like what they are they NEVER would say it in public because good manners prevent them from being rude. Why people keep saying about discrimination when it doesn't even exist in a country called homophobic!? Perhaps it's a problem in your country, but heck, it's MY country that is considered anti - gay, not yours.

People are homophobes.. on internet, where they are anonymous and they can say anything they want without caring, but in life? Nah. They are either afraid of hurting one's feelings in public, or afraid they'd get smacked.

The only moments of discrimination here happen at gay parades, where homophobes have the time - and the courage - to gather and throw their insults, but it's such a marginal thing I think it's totally not worth caring.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to see people discriminated - any people. But discussing a problem that doesn't exist - well, at least not in the scale you try to portrait it in - over and over.. quickly grows old. racism is a much bigger, more horrible problem and it's not even partially as disputed as homosexualism. Why..?



Cor: However I agree that discussing it from the point of chemical/biological aspect may be interesting. I am just against debating "it's wrong/it's not wrong" over and over.

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Mytical
Mytical


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
posted July 02, 2008 10:08 AM

Other places exsist then where you live...

There are a LOT of places that homosexuals and bisexuals are not so welcome.  Though gaybashing and such have declined a lot recently.  If I counted how many times I was beat up because of my lifestyle, I would loose count at a very high number.  At the time I wasn't even male (who generally are treated worse I'll admit).

Yeah racism is a bad problem.  Any form of discrimination because of age, sex, race, sexual prefference, etc is wrong.  However, I will use an old addage.  Evil flourishes when good people do nothing.  Ignoring the problem will not make it go away.  For any type of discrimination, period.
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted July 02, 2008 10:51 AM

sure there are other places, but when you constantly hear that you live in a worst place for gays (excluding some radical muslim countries where they kill gays), and you see no discrimination at all, you simply HAVE to ask yourself: why do people keep speaking about something that even in the "gay hell" doesn't exist or is too marginal to take into consideration..

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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted July 02, 2008 01:18 PM

Quote:
sure there are other places, but when you constantly hear that you live in a worst place for gays (excluding some radical muslim countries where they kill gays), and you see no discrimination at all, you simply HAVE to ask yourself: why do people keep speaking about something that even in the "gay hell" doesn't exist or is too marginal to take into consideration..


In recent months and years, Polish leaders have threatened criminal sanctions against lesbian and gay activists and organizations, have tried to restrict freedoms of expression and association, and have even threatened violence against LGBT marchers.

Your government has declared it will fire gay teachers, and impose criminal penalties on “anyone who promotes homosexuality or any other deviance of a sexual nature in education establishments.”

Public officials in Poland continue to make openly homophobic statements and to encourage violence against the LGBT community.During 2005, several planned events by the LGBT community in Poland were banned by the authorities. In 2005 and 2006 there were reports of incidents in which demonstrators from the LGBT community and other activists were attacked by counter-demonstrators and, on some occasions, of the police failing to ensure that they are able to exercise their right to peaceful assembly.

Members of your government have accused organizations working on LGBT people’s human rights of “pedophilia,” and threatened them with criminal investigations. A legislator in your governing coalition said that gays who demonstrate “should be bashed with a baton.”

Furthermore, no rights for gay couples to share property.. Etc... I am glad that this is too marginal to take into consideration. Your attitude is killing me... So your newspapers don't write about these things, and no demonstrations are allowed! So it doesn't exist!
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Anakrom
Anakrom


Known Hero
(Scroll) Out of the blue
posted July 02, 2008 01:50 PM
Edited by Anakrom at 13:58, 02 Jul 2008.

Quote:

Yeah, maybe you're right.  When an entire group of people are discriminated against, and don't have equal protection under the law, it's probably not worth caring about.  As long as your rights aren't being trampled on by bigots, I guess it's not important to worry about it....

And what should he do then? I´m not homophobic nor racist, I don´t like any form of discrimination - but again, all I can do is to say my opinion. Or should I run to the streets and shout "Homosexuals are man too"? Homosexual are fighting for their right, but in case I would help them, they I should feel urge to help any discriminated group all around the world - at cost of my own personal life. So my attitude is "Homosexual and any other group should not be discriminated" - and in case I will not do anything else, it is bad?
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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted July 02, 2008 02:22 PM

Quote:
and in case I will not do anything else, it is bad?


Read the thing again. This was the idea he replied to:

Quote:
If you're not gay, why do you even care..

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted July 02, 2008 06:25 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 18:40, 02 Jul 2008.

Quote:
In recent months and years, Polish leaders have threatened criminal sanctions against lesbian and gay activists and organizations, have tried to restrict freedoms of expression and association, and have even threatened violence against LGBT marchers.


I know who are you talking about and it's quite funny actually - one or two unimportant politicians being called leaders, pretty funny. Our president is a homophobe indeed, but that's pretty much all. And we have like 500 more politicians which are normal, but nobody cares, everything must focus on the lone homophobe. Yeah, what discrimination. Lol.

Quote:
Your government has declared it will fire gay teachers, and impose criminal penalties on �anyone who promotes homosexuality or any other deviance of a sexual nature in education establishments.�


It's not "your government". It is a pretty tiny amount of people who get ridiculous amount of interest due to their opinion.

The man who declared it (Roman Giertych, or his party lackeys) was our Minister of Education for a short time. Nobody wanted him to become one, but nobody asked us - ordinary Poles - whether we liked it or not. He was aligned with a small, radical party, and would never be in the spotlight if the currently ruling party didn't badly need support in the Parliament. So they formed coalition with little and ridiculous parties, and many politicans which were either primitive or of dubious origin (criminals even) appeared out of nowhere.

Does that show anything except of your total lack of understanding of the political situation in Poland?

besides, that man (Giertych) gave up his political career and decided to remain a simple lawyer, so it's no longer valid anyway.

Quote:
Public officials in Poland continue to make openly homophobic statements and to encourage violence against the LGBT community.


Again, you confuse a couple of people in our Parliament with the majority.

Quote:
During 2005, several planned events by the LGBT community in Poland were banned by the authorities.


Several? You mean the gay parade? Well, it is totally unnecessary anyway. And it was allowed by the officials in the following years.

Quote:
In 2005 and 2006 there were reports of incidents in which demonstrators from the LGBT community and other activists were attacked by counter-demonstrators and, on some occasions, of the police failing to ensure that they are able to exercise their right to peaceful assembly.


Yeah, some bald guys attacked on the gay parade. That of course means Poland is a "hell for gays". As if members of the Skin or Nazi communities did not exist in other countries. Lol.

Quote:
Members of your government have accused organizations working on LGBT people�s human rights of �pedophilia,� and threatened them with criminal investigations. A legislator in your governing coalition said that gays who demonstrate �should be bashed with a baton.�


Individuals hardly translate to the overall situation.

Quote:
Furthermore, no rights for gay couples to share property..


That is true since gay marriage is not allowed here.

Quote:
Etc... I am glad that this is too marginal to take into consideration.


Yes. Some totally unimportant politicians with zero support and big mouths automatically mean my country is the gay hell. haha. You kill me man. Seriously. Most Poles think their president and people like Giertych are a disgrace for the Polish government. The ones you point are simply people which should never enter the Parliement. But since they did.. oh well. Too bad it shows absolutely NOTHING about ordinary gay's life here.

Quote:
Your attitude is killing me... So your newspapers don't write about these things, and no demonstrations are allowed! So it doesn't exist!


You know what's wrong with you? You try to tell me how my country looks. How it is for gays here. My dear friend. Of us two, it is me who is living here and it's me who knows better. Demonstration are allowed but pointless - what do you want to manifest? and Newspapers write about it WAY TOO MUCH. That's why we are all tired about this topic here.

By the way, are you gay? I can understand you if you are.. Even if you clearly know nothing about the situation here short of what media say about Poland (and they say things I'd never even imagine they ever would - a lot of stupid, completely pointless things), you'd be at least concerned with the problem. Not that it really exists, but..






Oh, you will probably say it DOES exist blah blah blah. Well, most of people hate something. Some hate gays, some hate Jews, some hate Blacks, some hate dorks, some hate abstainers, some hate children, some hate old, etc. But why do GAY people get all the hype? The world has milion other "hatreds" around. It's tiresome to discuss only one. Gay people, whether they like it or not, aren't any better than discriminated Blacks or Jews. But it seems as if they are the crown problem of earth. lol.

If you want it, I may ask my friend to sum up the life of a gay person in Poland. He is gay so it won't be biased.

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JoonasTo
JoonasTo


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted July 02, 2008 10:19 PM

Quote:
Well, most of people hate something. Some hate gays, some hate Jews, some hate Blacks, some hate dorks, some hate abstainers, some hate children, some hate old, etc. But why do GAY people get all the hype?


Quoted for the win.
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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted July 03, 2008 01:21 AM
Edited by Minion at 01:58, 03 Jul 2008.

@Doom. I would really and honestly like to know if there is no harm for you if the people hiring you, interrogating you (police), serving you, teaching you when they know that you are gay. I have heard otherwise, and I do not consider all my sources invalid. And I seriously do not believe that you know all the details of gay life, as you have pretty much said yourself that you COULDN'T CARE LESS. So why should I believe that you know anything about the situation of gay life???

For the record.. That one is gay, but hides it for all his life, and that allows you to live a "normal" life... is NOT a measure of equality.
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"These friends probably started using condoms after having produced the most optimum amount of offsprings. Kudos to them for showing at least some restraint" - Tsar-ivor

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted July 03, 2008 09:01 AM
Edited by Doomforge at 09:04, 03 Jul 2008.

As I have mentioned, one of my best friends is gay, so.. I consider myself well informed.

In the work, police, school etc. you will find many people that dislike gay man, but you don't have to tell who you are, since it's something that's not written on your forehead. I think if I gay person suspects telling about his orientation will bring only harm, he should not speak about it. Yeah, I'm a genious, aren't I

You probably think gay people should be allowed to come out all the time and that they should be able to say "i'm gay" to anyone, anywhere, without the fear of being ridiculed, if not worse. But, my friend, our world works that way and you can't change things. It's like wanting to have a nice and long walk through a district owned by Blacks at night while being Caucasian... I sincerely believe every White person in the world would want to live in a world where he could do such thing without being beaten or shot. But it's simply not possible.

We can't change what we are, as much as we can't change how others think and hate. So, as long as there are no SERIOUS issues.. I don't think there is a problem. Because a world without a hatred of any kind would be an utopia, a paradise which we already know it will never be.

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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted July 04, 2008 11:25 AM
Edited by Minion at 11:27, 04 Jul 2008.

Quote:
As I have mentioned, one of my best friends is gay, so.. I consider myself well informed.

In the work, police, school etc. you will find many people that dislike gay man, but you don't have to tell who you are, since it's something that's not written on your forehead. I think if I gay person suspects telling about his orientation will bring only harm, he should not speak about it. Yeah, I'm a genious, aren't I


Do you even realize how horrible that kind of life is? How often your colleagues would make jokes about having it good with some chick. Wouldn't you rather tell them and loose their friendship than start fabricating stories about some girls? And many years would you even be able to do so? 5? 10? But if that causes me to loose my job, well, that is discrimination. You should NOT be able to force people to pretend to be a heterosexual. Period.

Quote:
You probably think gay people should be allowed to come out all the time and that they should be able to say "i'm gay" to anyone, anywhere, without the fear of being ridiculed, if not worse.


Maybe I probably do not think like that, my friend
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted July 04, 2008 12:11 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 12:13, 04 Jul 2008.

I've seen thousands of more horrible things not being able to tell other you have a thing for men

Do you think all gay men simply CANNOT resist the urge to go out and scream "I AM GAY, DO YOU HEAR ME, I AM GAY!!"? It seems that you think that the worst thing that meets gay people is that they can't inform the rest of the world that they are gay. Lol. Sexuality is an intimate thing. If someone takes his out of his own life and on the street, he becomes a nuisance to others, no matter whether he is homo or heterosexual.

Do you tell people at school, work, police "Hi, I am XXX and I'm heterosexual/homosexual" ?

If I meet a random person, I don't care who is he interested in and I don't want him to tell me because.. well, because I don't care. If a gay person starts the discussion with "Hi, I'm gay" sentence, it's kinda ridiculous. it's as if he started with "hi, I don't eat meat". I mean, fine, but what is the point to tell people that, do you honestly think they care for such pointless information?


Also I don't see why people should fabricate things about girls. I can't find a girlfriend for good 2 years now, do you think that people that have met me in that period of time accuse me of being a gay? Why lol. People arn't gay-obsessed here, which you seem to imply

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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted July 04, 2008 12:22 PM
Edited by Minion at 12:24, 04 Jul 2008.

Wow, I just told in my previous post that I do not think that one should be screaming about it. If you misunderstood me that badly....

Now it seems it is you who didnt even read my post. I was talking about a 5-10 years long working period, you are talking about the very first time you meet someone

Well, maybe I'll edit this post when I am in the mood

You are not talking about discrimination in your post, but about manners. And I agree, why would anyone say thing like that the first time they meet someone?
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted July 04, 2008 12:28 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 12:29, 04 Jul 2008.

Excuse me, but does 5-10 years change anything? Does time create some urge to scream "I am gay" ?

Uhh. After 5-10 years you most likely have good friends at school/work that will accept you no matter what will you tell them. And the rest.. they are basically strangers which you do meet every day. Why one would want to confess anything to them? what is the point

I don't get the "they can't come out!" problem. I mean, if you're telling everyone you're gay, you deserve to be ridiculed, not because you're gay, but because you are simply annoying. People don't care if you are gay or not. Why to force your intimate things into them? They probably don't want to hear about it.

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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted July 04, 2008 12:53 PM

That "screaming one is gay" has nothing to do with this conversation, I do not know why keep talking about it :
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