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| Thread: Custom Faction: The Spire | |
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Zozma
Hired Hero
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posted December 07, 2008 01:19 AM |
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Edited by Zozma at 03:04, 12 Dec 2008.
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Custom Faction: The Spire
Originally meant to be "the tower," but there's already a very inspired thread by that name on the second page :-/. Anyway, this is merely meant to be for fun. Critique and praise to your heart's content. Just as a forewarning: my writing style and sense of humor is a bit sarcastic and not at all suitable for the HoM war-torn atmosphere. Regardless, it's how I plan to write this. Massive walls of text may deter some; I really went all out. Possibly a little unbalanced, but not intentionally so.
UPDATE: Replaced Concubine tier with Echidna and Marids with Automatons. The lower, snake body of the Echidna, combined with the chiemra, gives the Spire a "snake" feel that matches its symbol. Also added a new ability to the Astral Archon. Looking for something to replace the Foliot. Will include heroes and updates as time permits.
The Spire
Associated Colors:Orangish-yellow, darkish gold (the original wizard who split and became the first sorcerer lacked originality and merely stole from his former brethren)
Motto:If life gives you lemons, make lemon golems.
AKA: The sorcerers
Worship:Being an offshoot of the wizards, the sorcerers do not worship any dragons. Unlike their less pretentious brethren, however, sorcerers believe ascension is only available to the individual rather than the group.
Core PhilosophyGood food, good drink, good company. Indulge in carnal temptations and base pleasures while at the same time trying to transcend all mortal fixations by becoming one with magic. It's not hypocrisy, because hypocrisy is sin, and gods can't sin.
Country/Kingdom/Capital City:None. Sorcerers are individualists who build towers in the wilderness and ignore all previously established laws in that area. Though all sorcerers operate under the same philosophies and have the same means to meet the same ends, they are technically unaligned.
Key Symbols:A red serpent constricting a green flame. Emphasis on the snake feeding the flame, which itself keeps the snake warm.
Primary Magic:Destruction and Summoning.
Racial ability: Inspirations. Becoming one with magic requires frequent and dangerous experimentation. By sacrificing mana, Sorcerers can invoke a magical effect from a huge list that can do anything from summoning a lowly goblin to wreaking havok on the enemy's forces. The significance of the effect is dependent on the mana sacrifice with truly momentous spells requiring enormous outputs. Whether the effect is positive or negative depends on how many skills from the Inspiration tree are selected.
Description: Sorcerers are wizards who have broken away from the Silver Cities with the belief that to truly master magic, you must become one with it. They are brilliant, but comically arrogant and horribly selfish. As such, they gain few followers; anyone working for sorcerer is likely to be either enslaved or an ambitious apprentice bent on usurping their master in order to gain his resources.
Sorcerer cities are comprised of a single tower that's height is representative of their enormous egos. All structures and upgrades are added to this tower rather than the outlying lands until the once simple, albeit gratuitous, spire becomes a veritable junk heap that defies identification. The sorcerers themselves have broken away from their middle-eastern depiction, preferring highly decorated robes and huge, steepled hats.
The sorcerer has made himself the enemy of the world, and as such he must prepare himself for every contigency or else suffer from fatal mistakes.
Timeline
999 YSD: Wizard Al-Ignatius is banished from the Silver Cities for crimes of "being a bit of a twit, really." Having lost all his prestige, resources, and the comforts of upper-class living, Ignatius had no choice but to find religion. He set across the desert, as that's traditionally where all the gods in their various avatars resided.
1000 YSD: After a year of searching for God, Ignatius loses hope. Still a wizard at heart, Ignatius decided that if there was no god to be found, he'd create his own. Prophets of the Holy Griffin Empire have been known for seeing visions of their god within burning bushes. With that idealogy in mind, Ignatius set some bushes on fire.
1001 YSD: While setting local flora afire, Ignatius discovers the hallucinogenic and sedative properties of the Sylvan Shrub.
1026 YSD: Ignatius emerges from the desert and preaches his new philosophy. No man can hope to master the infinitely powerful forces of magic. Instead, man must become one with magic, to transcend existence, in order to gain full control of its powers. Such a wizard would hold more power than any god.
1030 YSD: The Holy Griffin Empire grows tired of Ignatius' heresy and sends a small squadron of soldiers, lead by an inquisitor, to apprehend him. It is said that Ignatius erects the first tower from the earth itself using his magic alone. Word spreads of this miraculous feat of arcane prowess, and other wizards leave the Silver City to follow his teachings.
1032 YSD: Feeling that he has finally integrated himself into and become one with magic, Ignatius leaves his tower, pronouncing himself omnipotent and immortal.
1033 YSD: The inquisitor that was tasked with hunting Ignatius down proves that he wasn't quite as integrated as he would have hoped with nothing more than a crossbow and a well-aimed bolt. This does not deter other sorcerers, who still believe Ignatius' basic principles are sound even though he himself was, well, a bit of a twit, really.
Creatures
Tier 1
Slave: A malnourished, hunched over, nearly naked man spirited away from Haven and Academy towns. Has an iron, runed collar around their necks with a chain that drags to the floor. Fights using a club. Relatively few in number, attack power, and initiative, slaves are a mostly useless unit.
Abilities: Revolt. Provided that it isn't a neutral creature (why would slaves be a random encounter, anyway?) or the only creature in a hero's army, all slaves will join the oppossing army if all other creatures in the Sorcerer's army are killed.
Mutated Slave:A slave with disproprtionate limbs, random boils, and a disfigured face. Mutated slaves were disobedient servants who played an unwilling role in their master's experiment. Have higher attack power, defense, and speed than the slaves, but share their Revolt ability.
Emancipated Slave:Slaves who have been given the promise of freedom should they help win whatever war their master is fighting. They lack their brethren's trademark collar and hopeless expression, and have even acquired iron daggers. They lack the crippling Revolt ability, but aren't quite as powerful as the Mutated Slave.
Tier 2
FoliotMost wizards are too fearful to consort with demons, but sorcerers are sure enough in their ability to bind the creatures to their will. Foliots resemble imps, but are slightly larger and more athletic. They attack with hooked tails and claws, but not before stealing the enemy's mana.
Abilities
Mana Tap: The Foliot steals a portion of the enemy hero's mana. Cannot steal mana from magic casting creatures.
Foliot Manawell: Foliots with blue tinted skin that leave behind an azure fog, Foliots Manawells are unique among monsters in that their commander actually benefits from their death.
Abilities
Sacrificial Lamb: When a foliot is killed after stealing mana, all the mana it has collected goes to the sorcerer's mana pool, even temporarily exceeding the sorcerer's current mana limit if it was full.
Foliot Kamikaze: Foliots Kamikaze's have bulging, bloating guts from all their stored mana. Living a life of pure agony, Foliots desire death that can only come at the command of their master, and, being the evil creatures that they are, will be sure to bring others with it.
Abilities
Mana Burst: All the mana stolen from enemy heroes will be released in the form of radial damage when foliots die.
Tier 3
Echidna: It is established fact that the wizards are the creators of beastmen. The natural line of thought has people believe they're a crossbreed of some sort, but nobody ever questions of what. Surely the minotaur had a bull father and the harpy can trace its route back to the vulture, but what creature mothered these abominations? The answer lies in the echidna, a creature thought to be lenged even among mythic creatures. A gruesome creature with the body of a scaled woman with a serpent's tail for legs, the echidna has become renown in very closed circles as the mother of all monsters capable of exchanging their genetic information with virtually any living organism. The arch-mages who discovered the only known nest kept their existence a closely guarded secret, for if any upstart magician were to attempt to breed them with a dragon or devil the result would be unpredictable, but almost certainly disastrous. The enslaved echidnas were slaughtered after the birth of the beast races, but it is believed that Ignatius, the first sorcerer, discovered a second nest during his travels through the desert. The sorcerers have taken advantaged of their unnatural fertility and have bred an army from nearly nothing.
Abilities:
Whirlwind slash: The Echidna attacks all adjacent panels with dual scimitars.
Infinite Retaliation: The Echidna will counter all attacks save for those from enemies with the No Retaliation ability or those made from a distance.
Echidna Helterskelter: Echidnas bread for war; their dual scimitars have grown in size and their already vicious features have grown more horrific. Their scales are thicker and redder than their lesser sisters, and they've developed horns that a thick mop of greying hair can't hide.
AbilitiesMaintains whirlwind slash.
Conditional Retaliation: The Echidna Helterskelter's tuned reflexes only respond to attacks that are especially vicious or unpredictable. She will counter any attack made by a creature with the No Retaliation skill, but never from any other type of creature.
Bleeder There's a 25% chance that the serated edges of the Ecidna's sword will cause enemies to bleed, which does small damage over time and decreases their movement by 1 for every turn (up to a maximum of half speed).
Echidna Siren: Echidnas who have been bread to dryads so they they have lost their hideous upper bodies and instead appear as comely women. Their siren song serves to both bolster troops and strike fear into the heart of enemies.
Abilities
Serenade: Activated ability. Every ally creature adjacent to the siren will gain a bonus to their morale. If an enemy attacks and damages the echidna siren the song will become a shriek, lowering the morale and luck of any nearby enemy. To regain the morale boosting effects, the ability must be activated again.
Tier 4
Apprentice Apprentices are the wily pupils of the sorcerer. Their loyalties are as such that they would willingly kill their master after he has parted with his coveted secrets. They sport skull caps, relatively simple robes, and the twirly mustaches of all usurpers. Their comparatively high attack power, ranged attacks, casting abilities, and slave-enhancing properties are offset by their dismal defense, low numbers, low hp, and their potentially detrimental Usurp ability
Abilities
Shooter: Fires a magic missle-esque attack. In close range, apprentices are even weaker than slaves, being armed only with thick tomes they use as blunt weapons
Caster: Can cast fireball and lightning bolt.
Slave Driver: Apprentices love to abuse their master's servants and are capable of increasing a random stat of a slave or echidna using threats and torture.
Usurp: At any given time a sorcerer uses every single spell he has learned from his first complete Mage's Guild, all allied apprentices in his army, having learned all they could from their master, will betray him and join the opposing side the moment he enters the battlefield. Tabs on this ability begin to be kept as soon as the sorcerer learns his fifth level spells from the Mage's Guild and when he recruits his first apprentice, whichever comes last. Spells outside of the Destruction and Summoning colleges are considered to be cast the moment the level of the guild containing them is built and are therefore not part of this ability.
Apprentice Taskmaster Apprentices charged with the maintenance and control of slaves and echidnas. Their skull helm becomes spiked, their robes darker, and they are equipped with a belt of handheld torture devices and bags of rations. Their upgraded stats focus on defense and hp.
Abilities Along with retaining all the abilities of the basic Apprentice, the Taskmaster's Slave Driver ability allows them to increase the stats of all slaves and echidnas on the field at once.
Apprentice Book Keeper Apprentices in charge of the sorcerer's finances and non-spell related literary material. Their skull caps are replaced by hoods, their modest facial hair has grown into a beard, and their robes becoming extremely garrish. The books they use as melee weapon are also more ornate. Upgrade emphasizes attack power and initiative.
Abilities Retain all abilities of apprentice but gains Management, which allows them to mildly increase the potency of a selected war machine.
Tier 5
Chimera
Creatures with the heads of a lion and a goat, the body of a fierce jungle cat, and the tail of a snake, chimeras are the twisted experiments of sorcerers in their bid for transcendence. They are the tanks of the sorcerer's armor, being one of their few creatures that doesn't have abdnormally low hp and defense for their tier. They have less speed and initiative than usual, however, as it's suspected their three minds fight one another for control of their one body.
Abilities:
Arbitrary FlailingThe chimera will attack its target with one head. At random, the second head will attack the enemy directly to the right or left, or the same target a second time.
Serpentine Chimera
Serpentine Chimers are chimeras whose bodies are dominated by their snake tails. Their other two heads submit to its will, giving the serpentine chimere a focus its lesser brethren lack.
Abilities
Encroaching Venom: The chimera deals a small amount of poison damage that deals consistently higher damage over time. The amount of damage and longevity of the poison is dependent on the number of chiemra.
Chaotic Flailing
In adition to the standard chaotic flailing, the serpentine chimera's snake tail will attack directly behind the chimera, giving it three possible attacks on three different targets.
Chimera Lionheart
Chimera Lionhearts obey the head of the dominant lion, giving it focus. It acts much like an upgraded version of the regular chimera should, but instead of random flailing it gets a double attack on its chosen target.
Tier 6
Automaton:Not having the steel, iron, and other resources of a massive kingdom like the wizards, the sorcerers know that every construct must count. They have drastically increased the study of golems, and are capable of creating hulking steel contraptions that obey their master's every command. Their lumbering forms are weapons in and of themselves, and few creatures are capable of damaging their sturdy frames or surviving a crippling blow from one of their limbs.
Abilities
Fierce Advance: Any enemies in the way of the automaton and its target suffer damage and are pushed out of its way onto neighboring tiles.
Resistance Echidna suffers half the effect of all enemy and ally spells.
Construct: Has all the advantage and disadvantages of constructs.
Automaton Siege Engine Automatons built for the destruction of walls. They are outfitted with thicker, spiked plating and an extra layer of steel around their form.
AbilitiesMaintains Fierce Advance, Resistance, and Construct.
Collision course Siege engines can attack the walls and turrents of enemy bases. The damage durn is based on how many tiles the Construct moves before reaching the wall, doing 20% more damage with every tile.
Armored Plating:The thick armor of the automaton siege engine allows it to ignore the various defenses each faction sets up around their wall.
Automaton Conduit Automatons built from a mysterious crystal developed through sorcerous alchemy, the automatons lose their imposing physical abilities in order to serve as focal points for their master's spells
Abilities Maintains Construct and Resistance.
Eye of the Storm: Any destructive spell with an AOE will do twice as much damage to all creatures provided that the Automaton Conduit is within the radius of effect. This ability does not spare the Automaton from suffering damage.
Tier 7
Archon: Sorcerers who have neared their goal of transcending life and becoming one with magic. They appear as a maelstrom of vibrant colors, gasses, and light contained around a barely identifiable, bearded figure covered in sigil tatoos. Their magical powers have become chaotic, however, and they are therefore limited to powerful burts of magic. They have all around high stats, but lower defense and movement than most tier sevens,
Abilities
Shooter: Archons let loose a beam of pure magical energy that obliterates enemy forces.
Ethereal Mass: Enemies attacking the archon are damaged by its energy emissions, taking 10% of the damage they dealt.
Archon Name Caller
Name Callers are archons who have mastered their chaotic nature and learned to use conjuration magic again. They appear as regular archons do, but with crimson phoenix wings.
Abilities Shooter and Ethereal Mass, the latter dealing fire damage.
Call Once per battle, an Archon can gate in a phoenix that will fight for it. Since archons aren't completely transcended they are capable of failure, and there is therefore a 10% chance that archon will gate in an ArchDevil that fights for the enemy, instead.
Dismiss: The Archon can banish any enemy summoned units provided that there are at least twice as many archons in that stack as there are summoned units. Does not work on gated creatures.
Astral Archon Archons who, like Callers, have returned to their spellcasting abilities, specifically their destructive ones.
Abilities Shooter and Ethereal Mass, the latter dealing shock damage.
ManifestThe Astral Archon has the ability to cast implosion twice per battle. As he is still imperfect, there is a 15% chance that he will instead cast an Armageddon spell that only effects allies.
Unorthodox Casting:Having pushed back the boundaries of magic and discovering so many new approaches to its manipulation, the Astral Archon's manifest ability will ignore all magic resistances and immunities of any creature it's cast upon.
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jiriki9
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Altar Dweller
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posted December 07, 2008 01:28 AM |
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I've just read through your faction and found it not bad 
A bti rough, but...
Yet I get the feeling you hav partly been inspired by Jonathan A. Stroud's "Bartimaeus" books (Foliots, Marids, the arrogant Sorcerors with a fable for foolish cloths...)!?
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted December 07, 2008 01:30 AM |
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Edited by Adrius at 01:32, 07 Dec 2008.
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Pretty nice, but I don't think that orange colours and gold goes well with the overall dark theme (torture, demon mix-bloods) of this faction... but I may be wrong...
Usurp is a nice ability! Very creative!
EDIT: Also, I found the creatures section hard to read... try using a little more space between abilities and creature upgrades.
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sith_of_ziost
Promising
Supreme Hero
Scouting the Multiverse
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posted December 07, 2008 01:59 AM |
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I like this faction...partly because it has no Dragon Tier 7. 
The overall theme is pretty nice, and I like the Inspirations Racial. And, I agree with Adrius about the hard to read. Try something like:
Creature Name - Description
space
Abilities -
space
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted December 07, 2008 02:44 AM |
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RAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRAAAHHHHHHGGGGAAAA!!!!!!!!
I'm working on a faction called 'the Spire' right now.
RAAAAOOOOORRRAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHAAAAAAA!!!!
I'll have to change the name.
I'm not going to give an insightful critique for the moment, I just wanted to step in and vent my surprise/rage. I also wanted to chuckle at the 'concubine' name for tier 3. Kind of weird. Anyway, I'll give you some feedback sometime later. At first glance, it kind of seems like a hybrid of wizard and demon lord.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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stankelbenet
Adventuring Hero
bringer of nostalgia & darknes
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posted December 07, 2008 09:09 PM |
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I don't think heroes needs more factions... bending the ones we got now would be enough. That's my opinion.
Anyway I somewhat agree with what you have to say. I both like and dislike the tower/order/academy-inferno-jonathon stroud faction. I think it would be cool to bend the old HOMM3 dungeon into it.
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted December 07, 2008 09:16 PM |
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Edited by Adrius at 23:06, 07 Dec 2008.
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Quote:
I don't think heroes needs more factions...
Booooh! No fun!
It's always nice to see new creative factions!
EDIT: Nice, it's much easier to read now! 
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Zozma
Hired Hero
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posted December 07, 2008 11:13 PM |
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Thanks for the feedback. I had a lot of fun writing it. It is a little rough, but I didn't really intend for it to be anything more than a recreational waste of time .
Yet I get the feeling you hav partly been inspired by Jonathan A. Stroud's "Bartimaeus" books (Foliots, Marids, the arrogant Sorcerors with a fable for foolish cloths
Sort of. Foliots were definitely taken from Stroud. I wanted to use imps and familiars, which are more standard fantasy fair, but both were, of course, taken by Inferno. Marids are an actual fabled creature, water spirits like djinn in Arabic mythology. I only made them stronger than djinns because they and marids are associated with wind and water, respectively, and air elementals are a bit weak in Heroes games. As for the ridiculous choice in clothing, that's always a characteristic I attributed to wizards.
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted December 09, 2008 01:06 PM |
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-I’m concerned that this faction isn’t unique enough to really be worthy of it’s own faction. There is already one offshoot faction of the wizards, necromancers, and they seem to be far more distinct than the sorcerers are. Perhaps making a completely separate timeline rather than being yet another offshoot of the wizards would be more appropriate.
-For the tier 1, having a bound & chained slave used in combat seems kind of weird. I realize this was done in the past for gremlins, but I didn’t think that made a whole lot of sense either: p
-‘Concubine’ is kind of an odd word for a creature since that literally means somebody that’s conscripted to sexually pleasure somebody. It doesn’t really fit in the way a succubus would. Also, wouldn’t a half-succubus/half-human be a shaman from stronghold?
-Once again, ‘Apprentice’ and ‘Apprentice Bookkeeper’ just doesn’t’ sound like a name for a combat unit.
-I like the introduction of tier 7 casters; it’s something that is lacking in Heroes 5.
-I’d be interested in seeing some town development; particularly with the unique buildings.
-A nit picky detail, but I'm unhappy with the name 'Sorcerer' since there is already a skill called 'Sorcery' which is a general skill for all factions. Maybe you could go with 'Beguiler' or 'Mystic' or 'Magnus' or something.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Zozma
Hired Hero
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posted December 09, 2008 09:47 PM |
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Edited by Zozma at 03:13, 10 Dec 2008.
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I’m concerned that this faction isn’t unique enough to really be worthy of it’s own faction. There is already one offshoot faction of the wizards, necromancers, and they seem to be far more distinct than the sorcerers are. Perhaps making a completely separate timeline rather than being yet another offshoot of the wizards would be more appropriate.
I'd say it's certainly unique, though I could be biased. I do agree that the units don't mesh nearly as well as the other factions do, however, and that stems from my unwillingness to "create" more than a handful of creatures that don't have a place in orthodox fantasy and placing seemingly unrelated units together as a result. That's an obvious fault that I man up to. As for it being an offshoot of the wizards, that doesn't really bother me. The dark elves were an offshoot of the Sylvan, the orcs were an offshoot of Inferno; just about every faction separated from or were seceded by another.
-For the tier 1, having a bound & chained slave used in combat seems kind of weird. I realize this was done in the past for gremlins, but I didn’t think that made a whole lot of sense either: p
You gotta have something that designates them as slaves . I suppose that'd fall under the "rule of cool," or, at least "the rule of what's expected."
-‘Concubine’ is kind of an odd word for a creature since that literally means somebody that’s conscripted to sexually pleasure somebody. It doesn’t really fit in the way a succubus would. Also, wouldn’t a half-succubus/half-human be a shaman from stronghold?
When you think about it, you never think of shamans or assassins as things that traditionally go to war, either, but both are present in the stronghold and dungeon factions. Though I admit there is a fair bit of difference; I'll have to think of a better alternative. And I just remembered that orcs were of demonic blood just after making the faction, so you've got another good point, there >.<.
-Once again, ‘Apprentice’ and ‘Apprentice Bookkeeper’ just doesn’t’ sound like a name for a combat unit.
S'cause they're just a wizard's kabal of apprentices who have been converted to war time use to meet the needs of the time. Having to rename someone who essentially performs the same function as they normally would with an added "killing" incentive makes about as much sense as chained war-slaves .
-I’d be interested in seeing some town development; particularly with the unique buildings.
I'm sure I'll get around to adding it, eventually.
-A nit picky detail, but I'm unhappy with the name 'Sorcerer' since there is already a skill called 'Sorcery' which is a general skill for all factions. Maybe you could go with 'Beguiler' or 'Mystic' or 'Magnus' or something.
A fair point, but I don't like the proposed alternatives. Maybe Enchanter would work. I'll give it some thought.
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted December 09, 2008 10:38 PM |
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In a past Chaos faction, I had a demonic female unit named Empusa.
From Wikipedia: in ancient Greek mythology, the Empusa (or Empousa) was a female supernatural monster or demoness.
It's a better name than concubine imo.
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted December 10, 2008 08:35 PM |
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Quote:
Motto: If life gives you lemons, make lemon golems.
Priceless ... This is almost worth a quality bonus on it's own.
I would like to see this developed a bit, however, and like the others say, perhaps try to structure the setup a bit more to make it easier to read. But nice job so far.
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What will happen now?
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