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blizzardboy
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posted June 01, 2012 11:13 PM |
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I read in one of the books in game that the khajiit, orcs, and argonians are all the original primitive inhabits of Tamriel that later got their asses kicked by the elves. It just doesn't sound right with them being neko chicks. Plus you would think breeding between khajiit and humans would be commonplace if that were the case. I mean... I'd hit it.
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Adrius
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posted June 01, 2012 11:16 PM |
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Edited by Adrius at 23:19, 01 Jun 2012.
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There is no real correct lore in the Elder Scrolls since basically everything that is written about it is done by actual characters in the game, and they all speculate.
In some cases, there is the word of god by Bethesda, but they often ignore their own lore cuz they get new ideas, and practically EVERYTHING is subject to change because of CHIM.
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Plus you would think breeding between khajiit and humans would be commonplace if that were the case.
It probably is already though they can't get any eh... cubs.
There are books in-game that speculate whether human/Khajiit/Argonian reproduction is possible.
EDIT:
And most Khajiit aren't nekogirls, it's just the ones outside of Elsweyr that are most often Ohmes, because it's easier for them to fit into normal society by not being... monstrous tiger thingies.
This lore is obviously completely ignored by Bethesda as I said earlier, but something about it and all the moon phases and stuff stuck to me. I NEED TO MAKE IT RIGHT.
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blizzardboy
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posted June 01, 2012 11:20 PM |
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I guess making an expansion called The Invasion of the Cat-Lizards wouldn't sell very well. Probably best if they aren't able to breed.
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Adrius
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posted June 01, 2012 11:38 PM |
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Edited by Adrius at 23:47, 01 Jun 2012.
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Argonians actually shift between sexes, being man at one point and then woman and the tranny state inbetween (change the age slider in Oblivion and the male's colouring becomes more female...!).
Personally I think the Argonians were originally human... there's a human people that lived in Black Marsh but is now supposedely extinct... I'm guessing they all drank too much Hist sap which turned them into Argonians.
Hist sap is a central part in the Argonian life cycle, with them licking it off the trees as part of their growing-up ritual and them doing hot and sweaty Argonian X Tree intercourse to reproduce.
Argonians are disgusting.
...
And Khajiiti have barbed penises. Yes, read The Real Barenziah.
EDIT: This is the kinda stuff I fill my head with instead of useful things like basic math.
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blizzardboy
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posted June 01, 2012 11:49 PM |
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*is taking a break from this thread. too much nerd detected*
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Adrius
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posted June 01, 2012 11:51 PM |
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What? No.
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Tsar-Ivor
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posted June 01, 2012 11:52 PM |
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Quote:
Hist sap is a central part in the Argonian life cycle, with them licking it off the trees as part of their growing-up ritual and them doing hot and sweaty Argonian X Tree intercourse to reproduce.
Argonians are disgusting.
You Bas****!! You said that you're going to spare me the details!
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blizzardboy
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posted June 01, 2012 11:53 PM |
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After having heard about barbed penises, I'm not sure if I want anything going deeper inside of me right now.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Adrius
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posted June 01, 2012 11:53 PM |
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Edited by Adrius at 23:53, 01 Jun 2012.
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@Ivor: Oh right, I didn't want to ruin Argonians for you.
Blame him, he acted like he wanted to discuss lore with me *points at B-boy*
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blizzardboy
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posted June 01, 2012 11:55 PM |
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Was not pressuring you into talking about barbed penises and Argonian tree sex. That was all you bro.
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Tsar-Ivor
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posted June 01, 2012 11:57 PM |
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Ruin argonians? Please, I merely tolerated their race, but now, a full skyrim-wide purge is in order.
I don't mind the barbed penises, crazy masochistic cats  ,
Oh and I read a book which stated that ALL races can breed with each other, (it also stated that orcs are a type of elf)
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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blizzardboy
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posted June 01, 2012 11:59 PM |
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I accidentally killed one of the Argonians in Windhelm the other day. I almost wanted to load the autosave, but I was like 'meh'.
I broke into the Argonian assemblage on the docks because I wanted to know what the hell was inside, but I trespassed for a little bit too long because one of them started attacking me. So I go outside and one of them follows me and keeps attacking me, so the guards ****ing mow him down. I like... tricked him into getting slaughtered.
Poor little lizard. He/she/it will never get to experience sweaty tree sex.
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Tsar-Ivor
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posted June 02, 2012 12:01 AM |
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The book is called 'Racial Phylogeny', and I also read that Bretons aren't human either but mer and human.
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as well as stories of unions with daedra,
The FU?!?!
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Adrius
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posted June 02, 2012 12:03 AM |
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Edited by Adrius at 00:05, 02 Jun 2012.
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I just think it's so hilarious how at the surface, the Elder Scrolls looks like such generic fantasy with its different kinds of elves and viking humans and catfolk and everything, but if you go a bit deeper it's WEIRD as hell.
It has its whole star-sign business, crazy lizards that change genders, an ACTUAL GOD OF RAPE (the origin story of vampires is scary as hell, DON'T EFF WITH MOLAG), and even the CHIM lore which basically states that the whole world doesn't even exist in the first place.
I like pointing these oddities out because they make the world so much more interesting  It's really far from generic.
@Ivor: Orcs are poo elves. An elven god ate their god and shat him out, and they rose from the dung. Poo elves.
EDIT:
Oh yeah, I really hope we'll get to see the Sload again soon.
Teleporting necromancer toad slugs. Hell to the yes.
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Tsar-Ivor
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posted June 02, 2012 12:06 AM |
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Regrettably, our oaths as healers keep us from forcing a coupling to satisfy our scientific knowledge
This book, is bad.
Great I go around making perfectly valid points and I'm some insane racist out to slaughter everything that's not 'prestine' (suicide time?) and you drop on us your amazing epithany that the black elves of orsinum are infact and I quote "poo elves".
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Adrius
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posted June 02, 2012 12:10 AM |
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Edited by Adrius at 00:14, 02 Jun 2012.
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I like this one.
http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Opusculus_Lamae_Bal_ta_Mezzamortie
It has weight.
EDIT: Effing link refuses to work, whatever.
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Tsar-Ivor
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posted June 02, 2012 12:14 AM |
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Nevermind, crappy UESP.
Interesting. Good to know that vamparism has such a 'colourful' past and root.
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Adrius
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posted June 02, 2012 12:25 AM |
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Edited by Adrius at 00:54, 02 Jun 2012.
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Yeah, and from the looks of it we're getting a lot more with Dawnguard 
I hope the Dawnguard themselves aren't terribly boring compared to the vampire clan. I mean... it's kinda obvious that 90% of all players will immediately go "BECOME VAMPIRE LORD, FLY AROUND, NAUW"... considering that... Beth might put most of their focus on the vampire side.
Here's hoping the Dawnguard gets something really cool as well.
...hmm... wonder if they're Meridia worshippers btw... would make sense with them hating vampires and everything, and she does have an artifact named Dawnbreaker.
EDIT:
Oh yeah and don't take what I say as facts btw, like I said earlier everything in Elder Scrolls lore is speculation.
Malacath himself says that another god eating him and crapping him out was a bit of a too literal translation, saying that it was more symbolic rather than you know... crapping. Gods probably don't really work like that after all.
EDIT2:
And now for something completely different...
Did you know there's a secret dragon boss fight in Blackreach?
In retrospect, sorry if I get a bit too enthusiastic about this stuff, I don't wanna annoy anyone.
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blizzardboy
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posted June 02, 2012 12:57 AM |
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I can't marry the Jarl of Solitude. I fought an entire civil war for nothing. NOTHING. NOTHING!
Option B: my housecarl in Solitude. She's a Nord woman that's taller than I am, waits around at my house indefinitely whenever she isn't with me, and carries all of my gear around when she is with me like a pack mule so I can make bigger gold runs. It's as though we're married already, but without the formality. I just hope I don't spoil it and waste the opportunity to marry Meridia later in the game or something. I've only done 3 of the daedric quests so far and I'm not sure who else I will encounter.
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Kareeah_Indaga
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posted June 02, 2012 01:07 AM |
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So the Argonians are like clownfish?
(Seriously, look them up. You will never look at Finding Nemo the same way EVER AGAIN.)
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Did you know there's a secret dragon boss fight in Blackreach?
No, but now I'm going to go find it. >.>
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