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Heroes Community > Bards Glade Pyre (RPG) > Thread: Schizophrenia
Thread: Schizophrenia

Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted January 02, 2011 02:12 AM


(Trying something, probably won't work or get anything across, but that's not so bad, because my previous experimental endeavour that I wrote on the fly makes up for that.)

So are you content being a dog?
and with that everything's pretty much been said, right?
I'm not Atlas, even if I want to real bad,
but I can't be.
I don't have those god-genes in me.
Not that it's important or anything,
Well, it's important,
but no universe will bend for this,
except mine
So it's not really important in a cosmic sense.
But in my sense it is and I'm pretty sure I get to largely determine what happens in my sense, right?
I'm sorry I'm selfish
I'm sorry I keep talking about myself
I don't mind. (I even enjoy it)
But it's still a vice, dog, and I don't know you.
I don't mind that either.
I don't think it's that important. (Who am I anyway?)
I like to listen.
Well, I can't say that.
I want to say it.

But I can't say it.

Thank you for being here.
It's not like it's important or anything.
Not in a cosmis sense, anyway.

It's good that...
it is good?
Yes, and it's good we don't say anything.
Yes, then we have an understanding.
Yes, and we actually DO say something, only...
Only we don't talk about the unimportant stuff.
ga, Tbl npab
ga, Tbl npaba

I'm pretty sure I'll say it sometime.
Yes, but not now.
Yes, now's not the right moment
When IS the right moment, then?
When the world threatens to stop existing.
As good a time as any, methinks.
Yes, so it's agreed, then.

You're a dog.
I know
And you're happy with this?
Yeah, pretty much so.
Ha, "Pretty much so?"
You're hopeless
That may be, but I'm nothing, I don't exist.
And you get comfort out of that?
It's easier to not exist than it is to make a choice.
You're a cowardly dog.
I don't deny it.
God, it's as if I'm talking to a small child.
I don't deny that either.
Well, dog, how can you live without hope?
How can you live without security.

(translated from dutch, so some things don't sound right, security could also be replaced by "certainty", but it's something in between)

(two other texts that are more poems than attempts at stream-of-consciousness-without-a-frame-of-reference, which I will post here, because I sure as hell won't get them posted anywhere else):

I rise
I fall
Infinitely low
Infinitely high
At the same time
and then

Then I was stuck
Then my leg got stuck in a bear trap
Then I wanted to leave and I couldn't go back.

And then and then and then
I just gave her a kiss (just like that)

Sparks of insanity hit me in the face and her hand too.

Sometimes it's okay to be repulsive, a villain
as long as you only hurt yourself
it'll all be fine in the end
I don't need much, beggar of looks and smiles.

Can't even dare as hope for whispers in the dark
playing with little pieces of nonsense,
and entwine into nothing

No, but you don't understand what it is
to see what she's really like with
well, with her little actions you don't notice
her smile and her dance, her careless play (song, draw and the moonlight sonata)
Beauty, however, is not to be found in the childlike
No, the best and the sweetest is when she talks about
how the world should and shouldn't be, what man should and shouldn't do
That, my friend, is touching upon truth

And that's why sometimes it's okay to be repulsive, a villain
even if it's only to yourself

NOTE: the second one translates awfully. Entwine isn't exactly what I mean, neither is sweetest, neither is little actions and "touching upon truth" is also lacking something.

If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

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