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| Thread: Sad HCM, how to react? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted October 26, 2011 07:47 PM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 19:49, 26 Oct 2011.
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Whoever wrote that HCM (Who could that be... hmmmmmmmmmm.... it's a COMPLETE mystery to me  ) is 100% correct and you should heed their advise and stop posting these awful, socially-awkward and discomforting sexually-tinged posts which urges everybody to regurgitate their latest luncheon in the nearest MyLittlePonyPail(TM).
Or simply don't post at all. Your choice.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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xerox
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 26, 2011 07:53 PM |
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While I do not agree with Wi... Whitney Houston's HCM there and I think that she's taking stuff way to seriously - it is obvious that you are trying to create forum drama out of nothing.
I can't make up my mind if I like forum drama, or if I find it tedious and annoying. 
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Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted October 26, 2011 08:03 PM |
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Kermit rapes Miss Piggy.
The only funny rape joke, according to a certain deceased comedian.
Anyway, ohforf, you're not dealing with this in a constructive way, to say the least.
Though, I guess I made a rape joke, but it wasn't really about rape, it was more about enlarging something to rape.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 26, 2011 09:19 PM |
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I think that many did not really get the point of this thread. I'll answer questions raised in chronological order though, hopefully it'll be appreciated.
First of all however, the point of this thread is that you imagine you've gotten such a hcm, and tell the way you'd react. Then I'll try to learn from it.
1) To the people who think this is my initial response or standard response. It is not. I have recieved HCM's like that many times, maybe at an average of 1 pr. 1-2 months in the time I've been active here, not counting when I tried to respond to them.
I have tried to respond. I stopped doing that because it did not only seem futile, but I also got some very harsh words in every single one of the replies I got back.
I have went with ignore and delete. Yet I keep wondering, if I am doing said person justice this way. After all, it's a message directed specificly at me, unlike what a typical post from the average user on the forum would be. Then there was a situation where said person refered to a very lengthy hcm in a forum post. A HCM which I simply had deleted, which made me feel very bad. It make me think people have changed and now when I simply click on the HCM, initially to delete it, I see a smiley face and kind regards in the end of the HCM and then I read the whole thing, which is what you see above, excluding the last part consisting of "kind regards name  ".
I find it to be harashment. It's very unwelcome, like you don't go to over to someone and tell them that sort of stuff. That they're "an idiot for liking said humour" or that their "humour is disgusting". Why don't you do that? Well, imagine you're at a party and some person just goes over to you and voices his opinion. Fine, you walk away, but said person keeps going on, despite you ask him to stop, that you don't want this noice directed at you, and that's the problem I have with this and why I think it's harashment.
It's not like I haven't addressed a mod about this issue. I was told he would look into it and nothing happened from that.
2) To those who think it's obvious who it's from. For all you know, I could have written it myself and made this as a hypothetical situation. You talk about manners, then have the manners to not assume based on information you don't know is accurate.
3) To those who thinks it's bad manners. Maybe it is. I am however surprised that you can harash someone like this, over and over again, and expect it to be kept private, just because one party anticipates it. I'll remove the HCM in the quote however, as I don't wish for any bad feelings.
4) To those who tells me to learn from it. I would think it to be a waste to learn that I am an an idiot due to what I find funny and that what I find funny is sick and twisted. It's not like I don't know this persons opinion or some others as well. You don't like my humour, and maybe I don't like yours, but at least I have the manners to be able to ignore what I find a bad taste.
5) To those who thinks I am creating this thread to start a flame war, internet drama, etc. If you think so, then you obviously don't know me well enough to make such a judgement about me. Yeah in the VW, maybe, but that'd still be in good faith. No flame war, or internet drama, is intended here. I expect advice.
Quote:
[...]you should heed their advise and stop posting these awful, socially-awkward and discomforting sexually-tinged posts which urges everybody to regurgitate their latest luncheon in the nearest MyLittlePonyPail(TM).
Or simply don't post at all. Your choice.
Hopefully it won't come down to something like that. Imagine you getting such a response on your disney stuff.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted October 26, 2011 09:28 PM |
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At least I don't bring Disney up in EVERY.SINGLE.ONE.OF.MY.POSTS.
Nor do I crack lame discomforting jokes about them.
The context is entirely different.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted October 26, 2011 09:30 PM |
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Erm, is it just me or am I the only one who has made an on-topic post?
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted October 26, 2011 09:34 PM |
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OFFS:
for every action, you must consider a reaction. If you went to the philharmonic, took a dump in the middle of the scene and asked the concertmaster for his notes so you can wipe your butt, you couldn't expect people to accept you and be gentle. And if you happened to find that incredibly funny, that wouldn't really be an excuse. You'd probably get insulted and thrown out. If people for some reason get freaked by your sense of humor, they respond here, too. You aren't "harassed" because you were sitting here minding your own business reading HC when somebody started attacking you via HCMs.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 26, 2011 09:35 PM |
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Nah Tsar, some others did as well, though I think you're the only one who didn't add some extra spices. I am thankful for all the contribution of course. Now you guys hopefully know what methods I have tried.
@Lexxan: I did not know I brought up disney up often when you post. My apologies, I honestly don't recall having done so before and then just replace disney with another interest of yours, such as survivor.
Also Lexxan, the point is, btw., not about taste or how the taste gets expressed, so I find it completely irrelevant that your interest in disney is not something you find lame and discomforting. I am certain you'll find people who'll puke at the concept of disney as much as others would at rape jokes. So please don't make this an argument about analogies being incorrect, or if you insist, then that is something we can do over hcm, because it doesn't really belong into this thread and it'd be welcome, unlike when people only write in a thread to tell you that you, or some qualities of yours, to say it politely, sucks.
@Doom
Except in your case, the person gets the attention from everyone. You have only the scene to look at after all. Do you think my post is analogous consistent of me at a party jumping up on a table, being so loud that everyone else has to look at me, and start freaking everyone out? Or the majority? I really don't think so.
Edit: Also, come with how you'd react, not what you think I've done and haven't done. It should be clear such a response, as what I recived through hcm, is never acceptable, despite what I may have done.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted October 26, 2011 09:40 PM |
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well, this is a public forum. What you write can be read by everyone. So it is sort of public stuff. As public as you can get @ teh internets.
I'm not saying calling you an idiot is an appropriate response, of course.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted October 26, 2011 09:41 PM |
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Hmm... defending rape humour.
So basically you're fine with so many people being annoyed at you? Wouldn't your HC experience be a bit more pleasant without those HCMs and the kind of "spiced" posts you've seen up 'til now?
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 26, 2011 09:51 PM |
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Of course this is a public forum. But I don't find a post here more public than a conversation between a group of people at a public place. Everyone can overhere what you're talking about, heck everyone can join the conversation, but the one who's rude, is the one who takes control over the conversation to suit his own agenda. I don't think that's me, I see myself as the one who makes an awkward comment that make a few laugh, most stay silent for a moment and then someone saying "oh and then there was also...". Am I wrong in this? How?
@Adrius
Of course. That's why I made this thread. Also I am not defending anything. There's nothing, I think, on my part to defend, is there? I am not going to ask you to defend your choice of humour if you, e.g. choose a subject I really dislike (like death). I don't go into threads and start to derail it into how much you would suck for making fun of such tragidy. I recall people who've actually apologised to me after I made them aware of this issue, but I only ever made them aware when what they wrote were directly written to me and only through HCM as I recall it. I think that's a very nice gestus, but it's not something I'd expect a lot to actually respect and I can follow that. Who wants to keep order on what different people like and dislike? Of course you can't make everyone happy, but it doesn't give carde blanche for a few to start to voice their opinion when it's so clearly unwelcome.
I do of course understand that the persons who dislike this kind of humuor should not be addressed directly with said kind of humour and I have tried not to do so, and I honestly think I have succeeded in doing that. As I see it, and I guess some will disagree, then a few people are targetting me most of the time I make this humour, despite they not even being active in the given thread.
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted October 26, 2011 09:55 PM |
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Edited by Adrius at 21:57, 26 Oct 2011.
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Yeah well if you're fine with being disliked there's not much more I can say. Nothing anyone says is gonna make any difference since you don't care what people think.
Quote:
Who wants to keep order on what different people like and dislike?
I do. Helps me not get into so much conflict and creates a more pleasant enviroment.
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 26, 2011 09:58 PM |
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Quote:
most stay silent for a moment and then someone saying "oh and then there was also...". Am I wrong in this? How?
Many also think to themselves "WTF? That's awful!", but they're just too polite to point that out loud until something like this thread comes up and then everything bursts out. If it was a person or two that dislike your kind of humor than I could agree that they're the oddballs and should bear for the sake of the majority, but from what I've seen it's much more than that and that means that you're hurting a large part of the community.
As for not expecting the respect to keep quiet on certain subjects... why? This is not 4chan. This place has been built on mutual respect between members, despite certain downfalls here and there. So why not give and expect respect?
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 26, 2011 09:58 PM |
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Adrius, it's not what the thread is about, please don't derail it. Of course I care, otherwise I'd not choose my words based on who I write to. But I don't care so much that I'll stop doing something, so some are "happy" rather than someone else. I won't prioritize and I won't accept ultimatums like those.
Edit: How can you even ask that question and then respond to a quote that answers it right after?
@Geny
I like this post much better than your previous one, so I compliment you for that and I hope you'll take that in a positive way.
I expect many to think like that, I know it's the odd type of humour, and that most likely only a few, including me, will enjoy it. Please remember that I would not have made this thread if I was not again "targetted" despite never directing my joke towards any posters which I am aware dislike this kind of humour. And I suppose just for good measure, those posters as I can remember right now are:
Adrius, Azagal, Binabak, Corribus, Geny, Kiphash, Lexxan, Markur, OmegaDestroyer and Will. I somehow expect Joonas as well, but I don't know for sure.
@Dagoth
Out of context. And if it's so simple, then put yourself in the same situation, but take a trait that you think defines you on HC and then imagine you've some posters you really like that likes the way you post and some posters you don't really communicate a lot with who dislike the way you post, and a few of those will maybe even directly tell it to you, despite them not really have anything to do with the thread, etc.
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted October 26, 2011 10:03 PM |
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Quote:
But I don't care so much that I'll stop doing something
So really, you don't give a poo.
EDIT: It's just a simple matter of etiquette, forf-meister.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 26, 2011 10:12 PM |
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And yes it was probably not the smartest move to post it like this. See it as an act of frustration if you want to.
Edit: Are we done with questions and stuff now? Will people be so kind to focus on the question in the OP, please.
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 26, 2011 10:17 PM |
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Well, do onto other as you would have them do onto you I guess. If you think they should just ignore you then ignore them as well. If you think you owe them something for the effort of approaching you directly every time, respond to them privately every time, preferably in the most sensitive way positive to avoid further escalation.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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OhforfSake
Promising
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Initiate
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posted October 26, 2011 10:22 PM |
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Thanks for the advice! To be honest though, I don't want a conversation on HCM or public about how someone dislike my taste in humour. I don't think it could be neither fun nor contributing to be honest.
Therefore, still I appreciate your suggestion, I likely won't follow it in this instance.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted October 26, 2011 10:27 PM |
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Or you could simply respond by "I'm not interested in hearing your opinion" every time you get "harassed". Nobody is persistent enough to keep sending you HCMs when he/she can only get such response.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 26, 2011 10:29 PM |
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That's actually pretty much what I meant.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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