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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Things to Ponder
Thread: Things to Ponder
ShadowLord
ShadowLord


Promising
Famous Hero
of Dope
posted March 12, 2002 01:16 AM

Things to Ponder

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


____________
Do I need DRUGS when I have HEROES?

Heroes == Good

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted March 12, 2002 07:04 PM

The probability of meeting the perfect woman suddenly jumps up when you get married.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Nickman77
Nickman77


Famous Hero
from Poland.
posted March 12, 2002 09:46 PM

What`s the difference between married man and single man?
Single man when backs in evening to house, look into a refrigator, notices nothing special and goes to bed.
AND...
Married man when backs in evening to house, looks into a bed, notice nothing special and looks into a refrigator.

Got it?

____________
............................

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hamsi128
hamsi128


Promising
Supreme Hero
tosser tavern owner
posted March 13, 2002 01:49 AM

Girls wants more
We got no more !!!
____________
quoting my post = bullet in your head

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RMS
RMS


Responsible
Legendary Hero
-ing yummy foods
posted March 13, 2002 02:07 AM

hmm, although it sounds kidna nice, I must say that I only agree with #3 and #6 listed
____________
This space for rent.

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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted June 08, 2006 06:27 AM

ROFL

Quote:
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Lovely sense of humor . . . lol
____________
Roses Are RedAnd So Am I

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Trogdor
Trogdor


Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
posted June 09, 2006 08:49 AM

LMAO and welcome back whoever you are.
____________
"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu

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frostwolf
frostwolf


Famous Hero
livin' in a bottle of vodka
posted June 10, 2006 09:18 PM

Two married 80 year old men talk:
A: "I think the best thing in life is Christmas.The gifts, the family, everything else..."
B: "Yeah, it's nice, but I think the best thing in life is sex."
A: "I know what you mean, but at least we get Christmas more often..."
____________
What can you expect from a world where everybody lives because they're too afraid to commit suicide?


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LegendMaker
LegendMaker


Promising
Famous Hero
The Metal Specialist
posted June 10, 2006 11:47 PM

Great post, fellow Blind Guardian fan !

One little thing stunned me (in your sig actually) :
Quote:
Do I need DRUGS when I have HEROES?

Heroes == Good
Nonsense. Heroes IS a drug. Hence, your signature makes approximately as much sense as this one :
__________________________________
Do I need DRUGS when I have Marijuana ?

Marijuana == Good !
____________
LM

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