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| Thread: WOW, that was great baby! | |
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted May 30, 2007 03:41 AM |
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WOW, that was great baby!
Ok, you all have been asking for it; Receiving comments like, “ Oh please, if you must title it with some sexual implication then let’s talk about sex already.”
Well I heard you, so here you go, an entire thread dedicated to you sick freaks of HC. OMG sex, how overrated can one topic be already. That’s right I said overrated and under estimated all at the same time.
I remember the first time as if it were, well, three minutes ago, about how long it lasted as well. I was sixteen and had been anticipating the glorious act of “SEX” for sometime. So, I had it picture perfect in my minds eye, and I was so ready. I had heard about it, I had finally learned the power that had come attached to that oh so famous poody poo. *Oh this is going to be great, I hope he makes me a sandwich, and hands me the remote afterwards, oh that’s the women’s job, sorry*
So I’m lead by my hand; with the glow in his eye he was lighting up the dark hallway. We gets ten feet from the freaking fun park, and next thing I know I’m whisked off my feet and onto a liquid laundry soaked washer. WTH! So with my butt soaked in Tide, he decides this is the place to bring me to my happy place. Well, I wish I had saved the receipt, cause I deserved a refund. So I’m holding on for dear life, slipping around for all the wrong reasons, when OMG here it comes, two inches of dangling fury. What is that? I thought to myself, is that really what it looks like in person? No time to for a trade in because that mans boat was docking and I was its harbor.
I braced, he paddled, and then I started the countdown.1,2,3,4,5,6,7, and short pause....8!That’s right folks eight strokes done! He says to me, “Wow, that was great baby!” I said to him, “My poody poo is burning like hell get me off this damn thing.” Laundry soap in places it had no place being, I guess I would be extra clean, and no stains if that counts for anything. I immediately ran to the bathroom in horror and disgust in what had just taken place. Sprawled over the bathtub, washing and scrubbing away, praying the burn would subside; I began to think. *This is what I waited sixteen years for? This was what woman and men were getting payed for all over the world as a job? This can’t be it; this can’t be what I had fantasized about while starring at my Kurt Cameron posters and watching sleazy Rock videos*
Well it was, and even though I married that one, the sex was always less than note worthy. To those that have been waiting for their big day, their day to shine; trust me, wait awhile longer, and live life through other desires. I for one did not become impressed until I was much older, and I knew more about what really made for great love making, and that is great love….
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 30, 2007 04:51 AM |
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*sigh*
Goodbye self esteem, hello insecurity complex! First Pandora and now you. Why does size matter? Please don't answer that last question. I'd rather remain in my fantasy world. Just me and my fantasy.
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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pomo
Famous Hero
The lone peasant
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posted May 30, 2007 05:33 AM |
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Nice thread VF  Very funny story too. I saw some study in the paper today that claimed about 60% of guys last less than two minutes, so I suppose you were a bit unlucky, but not much worse than average by the sounds of it.
I agree also that bad sex can be pretty awful (although I'm not going to share )- that's true for guys as well as girls, and I think the reasons why guys have bad sex are (by and large, not always) the same reasons why girls have bad sex.
1) Not taking enough time.
and
2) Not taking enough time.
and
3) Various other miscellaneous bits
Seriously though, as a guy you SHOULD have a fair bit of control over how long you take (if not, go read about how to do it) and moreover it is worth your time (not just your girlfriends) to make yourself last longer. Sure you can get your rocks off in two minutes if that's all you want, but it feels infinitely better not to
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted May 30, 2007 06:24 AM |
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I agree, there are breathing techniques that work wonders. The really do work, I have been on the receiving end of this, and yes it works. My BF, AKA The_Rotten Gootch, has an amazing ability through these techniques that is well beyond any, eight strokes done party, that I have ever been to. Not many guys know this either, I don't think I have even told gootchie butt this one; right before you "want" to orgasm, put pressure on your taint area and it will prolong it, a lot.
Oh, and by the way Consis, it is not always size, (although it does not hurt to be at least average)but more or less the quality. It is like a guy that would rather get himself off, then put Mr.Joy Toy in a bowl of jello, and scramble to find the edge of the bowl. Well we don't want to bust out the O find him sometime today map of disappointment either.
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted May 31, 2007 04:21 PM |
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To hot to handle, I get it.....The men have yet to reply because they are all still starring in the mirror trying to read the tape measure....
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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feluniozbunio
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted May 31, 2007 07:04 PM |
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For me it looks like your demands were too high for what that guy could/wanted to give you
If you dream about something for long time your expectations raise and its harder to satisfy you. Guy might have had bad day or maybe it was natural for him. It doesnt really matter. All what matters its you and how do you feel about it. People are different and its you who choose who you want to have sex with.
For me waiting for this "right" person doesnt have any sense because it may end exactly like your story. You may wait all those years just to discover that your love is terrible in bed.I dont like this kind of lottery.
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted May 31, 2007 07:34 PM |
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Your absolutely right! I try to find some humor in everything , so I have to say in his defense that he waited a long time to be with me. So it was natural to have this anticipation for what was about to come for him.
Yes, I did dream about it and fantasize about the actual act. And I have no doubt that some of that applies to watching porn as well. When taken in large doses it can cause one to compare what they are getting to what Mr. Long Dong is getting. This is not reality and probably never will be, unless your a porn star.
This is why I say great lovemaking comes from great love....
Thanks for the reply....
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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feluniozbunio
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted May 31, 2007 07:58 PM |
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Id rather say that having good sex comes from training and experience.
There are different things you may do to raise your pleasure and pleasure of your partner. All one needs to do is to start practicing. People often think that its gonna be fine and do nothing and then, it turns out its not even close to fine.
The truth is that sex is like everything else, you need to have some practice in it to be good at it and to be able to draw joy in full aspect of it.
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted June 01, 2007 01:36 AM |
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I have had a few encounters with those that have claimed to have experience, it did not make them a great love maker, it made them an arrogant lover. One that was so consumed with the textbook knowledge, that they forgot love is what comes from the fingertips onto the sweat soaked body. Respect is what flows from their tongues onto your chest. Memories is what makes the slow movement of their hips thrust into yours until you can't breathe.
I do agree with you however, that experience can bring patience and a vast understanding of the human body and how it reacts to your touch.
Great post...
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frostwolf
Famous Hero
livin' in a bottle of vodka
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posted June 03, 2007 09:29 PM |
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Quote:
love is what comes from the fingertips onto the sweat soaked body. Respect is what flows from their tongues onto your chest. Memories is what makes the slow movement of their hips thrust into yours until you can't breathe.
Beautifully put.
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted June 03, 2007 09:53 PM |
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dreddy
Hired Hero
HC frosh
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posted June 03, 2007 10:37 PM |
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Nice thread, respect for sharing something like that. 
If chicks' "first times" are mostly spoiled by what we were told of here, the guys are usually, despite being thought of as 'the stronger sex', shaking with nervousness. Remember, it's in our blood to be competitive (millenia-old instinct), so a stupid annoying thought "what if I fail?!" may lead to many bad experiences...
I'll admit, I don't even remember my first time all that clear, I was a) quite wasted to get over nervousness; b) still scared to death, lol. 
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“... so when the devil wants to dance with you, you’d better say “never”, because the dance with the devil might last you forever.” /Immortal Technique/
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