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| Thread: Rules of the Universe |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted July 30, 2008 06:17 PM |
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Rules of the Universe
Rules of the Universe
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill
and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
23. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
26. You should not confuse your career with your life.
yours with them.
26. You should not confuse your career with your life.
27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
28. Never lick a steak knife.
29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
33. Your friends love you anyway.
34. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
35. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted July 30, 2008 06:28 PM |
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36. It's better to shut up and appear an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt 
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zamfir
Promising
Supreme Hero
Allez allez allez
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posted July 30, 2008 06:56 PM |
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37. If you want to work hard, don't worry.. It's verry temporary.
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5 Times TV
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted July 30, 2008 07:03 PM |
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Edited by Elvin at 19:03, 30 Jul 2008.
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Good list vf 
Don't be afraid to reach for the sky, at worst you may grab that apple from the low branches.
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted July 30, 2008 08:19 PM |
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Violent_Flower
Rules....she has wisdom that even the Gods themselves could learn from. Yes I will worship you.
*bows to your greatness*
*~Ready to Serve~*
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted July 30, 2008 08:21 PM |
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Ok Consis you can start by getting me a cup of coffee, I'm at work and I'am out.
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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keldorn
Promising
Known Hero
that casts green flames
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posted July 30, 2008 08:40 PM |
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Laws of Morphy
1. There are 2 different types of mange. The dark ones, which stick to white clothes, and light ones, which love black clothes.
2. If two men has to share a room, the one who snores, falls asleep first.
3. Everything will go wrong, which can do so.
4. Everyone wants a baby. But who wants a child?
5. Your child is the cutest child of the world. But go and ask your neighbour about this.
6. Long ago, houses were cool in summer and warm in winter. Nowadays... well, check it out...
7. If you are on your way to your holiday, you may think about what have you left at home. The farer you are from home, the more things you will remember. Try it, this one really works 
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted July 30, 2008 09:38 PM |
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Quote:
36. It's better to shut up and appear an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
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angelito
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
proud father of a princess
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posted July 31, 2008 08:04 AM |
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If 2 people always act the same, one of them is redundant.
If you always follow in the footsteps of somebody, you will never overtake.
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Better judged by 12 than carried by 6.
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted July 31, 2008 10:31 AM |
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Quote:
13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
Well don't you think it's overdue..?
That's why I never do the dishes
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John says to live above hell.
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espen15
Famous Hero
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posted July 31, 2008 10:41 AM |
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Donīt be to curious, it makes you closer to the death.
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radar
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Castle/Haven player
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posted July 31, 2008 12:42 PM |
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Quote:
Donīt be to curious, it makes you closer to the death.
 
great list vf!
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espen15
Famous Hero
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posted July 31, 2008 01:31 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Donīt be to curious, it makes you closer to the death.
great list vf!
i ment death as somebody dies, not the user
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted July 31, 2008 01:32 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Donīt be to curious, it makes you closer to the death.
I'm not that curious 
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted July 31, 2008 01:39 PM |
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Wy three cents...
38) Black Holes are painful. Ask Michael Jackson
39) When you awake facing a starry sky, know that they've stolen your tent.
40) When God created man, She was only joking.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted July 31, 2008 02:28 PM |
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted August 01, 2008 09:27 AM |
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7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. Oh hell thats true. You know i got fined for driving too slow the other day?
32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. You mean im not = (
42. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong and at the worst possible time
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espen15
Famous Hero
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posted August 01, 2008 10:00 AM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Donīt be to curious, it makes you closer to the death.
I'm not that curious
i ment if someone dies, canīt everybody really understand that
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted August 01, 2008 11:02 AM |
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49. in real life, everyone's nice. on the internet, everyone is a douche.
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted August 01, 2008 01:46 PM |
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43. Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one 
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