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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Xerox's Book Thread
Thread: Xerox's Book Thread This thread is 4 pages long: 1 2 3 4 · «PREV / NEXT»
Cepheus
Cepheus


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
posted July 30, 2010 08:18 PM

Shame on all of you. I wholeheartedly support Xerox's endeavour. Maybe, on the morbid offchance that it ever gets successful, I can sue him into poverty for stealing MY contrived fantasy setting and its tangential intellectual properties (patent pending, © 2010, all rights reserved).
____________
"Those who forget their history are inevitably doomed to repeat it." —Proverb, Might and Magic VIII

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Keksimaton
Keksimaton


Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
posted July 30, 2010 08:34 PM
Edited by Keksimaton at 20:38, 30 Jul 2010.

Do you say that the future is detached from the past or that a fresh new work wouldn't make allusion due to its futily, as the work is the first of its kind to explore such realms? Mayhaps it be neither and it is something else that you imply.


Edit: And yeah, I'd propably read Xerox's book as well. Even if it is in Swedish. Propably due to kind of liking the author
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.

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Carcity
Carcity


Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
posted July 31, 2010 12:04 AM

Oi man, stop posting what the book will be about, let us see what is actually written! Post part of the prologue/chapter 1 to show us what you've written man!
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Why can't you save anybody?

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Adrius
Adrius


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
posted July 31, 2010 12:08 AM

City-boy speaks truth!

You've hyped us to oblivion with your wiki and synopsis and **** Elves and everything, now show us what ya got
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Kipshasz
Kipshasz


Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
posted July 31, 2010 06:13 PM

Too lame for my taste. I've been consuming vast amounts of dark and low fantasy lately. Most typical fantasy works suck these days.
____________
"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted July 31, 2010 08:30 PM

Sturgeon's law, people.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

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xerox
xerox


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
posted August 23, 2010 04:34 PM

Writing is fun. I constantly get in characters I never planned. O.o Now a new major side-character just slipped in somehow. O.o It is very unpredictable.

Also I am going to kill all the main characters in the last book. Consequences of war.
____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted August 23, 2010 04:34 PM

*SPOILERS*
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb

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xerox
xerox


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
posted August 23, 2010 04:42 PM
Edited by xerox at 19:38, 08 Oct 2010.

I think I am going to change the prologue chapter of the book. It has already changed twice.

1. The Arctic Plataeu Version
One of the main side-characters (... it means she's not there 24/7 but still has a very important role) Zelinde and her collegue, the less important Vylthar are on a diplomatic mission on the continent known as the Arctic Plataeu. However, on the way to the village of natives where they are going to work they get attacked by a speices of large horned wolfs that I called the Reinrir Wolves I think. Anyway, they fight them but Zelinde passes out as she in middle of the battle is contacted by an Archmage of the Oracle City. He says that she must go to the Wood elven capital city of Shiromar to attend an important council regarding the future of humanity. Zelinde teleports to the Oracle City, talks to the leaders of the city (which was originally a council of 5-6 people but that was scrapped) and then enters the gateway to Shiromar together with her guards (Wood elves and Snow elves do not like each other). Here she goes to the Council and attends it and talks.

Reason for Removal: I realized that I would not visit the Arctic Plataeu in the books a lot and so, it was unnesscesary to include lots of backstory on the races and animals living there. It simply did not feel relevant plus the chapter was going to be waaaaay to long.
Also originally originally, the prologue chapter was from the perspective of two hunters of the native race living there.


2. The Wood Elven version of the Prologue
In this version, the prologue chapter starts right off in the Wood elven capital city of Shiromar. In this version, Zelinde has been here for a long time and is the Snow elven ambassador in the city. But another Snow elf, Vylthar, comes to help her in the Council mentioned. They go through the beautiful city that is located on basically an enormous mesa or pillar with a huge "world tree" on top of it and waterfalls on all edges. They suffer some racist comments from Wood elves and get escorted by the guards.
Finally, they end up within the Druids' Temple where the Council is. All the provinces of Sylvar are represented. It is about if the Wood elves should go to war against the Nordyr or not but in the end there is no descision. The actual villian in the books is also in this chapter but is not revealed to be the villian untill the last book. The book ends with them returning to where they live in Shiromar where it is revealed that Vylthar was sent to replace Zelinde and that instead of going home, Zelinde is going on another mission to infilitrate the human Kingdom and prevent them from going to war against the Nordyr race.

Reason for Removal: I realized that this chapter was not exciting. The prologue should have action in it and be interesting to get people that perhaps read through the first chapter in the bookstore and then come to the conclusion if it is bad or good. I realized that this version was to long, complicated and boring.


3. The battle version of the prologue.
Here the book starts in a human town located in or close to enemy territory. The town is under attack and one of the main character's (Cedrik) father is the one leading the defense of the town. The Nordyr are attacking and there is a battle which the humans end up losing and they are forced to retreat south, leaving the town left to burn and a scene of a woman with a child that gets her head sliced off or something.

Reason for Adding: This version is relevant to the main character in the book, is coherent with the real first chapter, is short and has action and emotions in it. It also becomes clear what the series will be about, the events leading up to the war between humans and nordyr and then the actual war.


Now that it seems more likely that the Wood elven version of the prologue will just become a normal chapter later on in the book, I can just go ahead and post that unfinished chapter here (which I did not polish or finish).

____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill

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Fauch
Fauch


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted October 09, 2010 01:34 PM

are you planning to sell it?

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1910
1910


Known Hero
posted October 09, 2010 03:16 PM

Why don't you invent your own creatures and all? Would be far more interesting than reading about Wood Elves and other WoW stuff.

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted October 09, 2010 04:55 PM

Quote:
Writing is fun. I constantly get in characters I never planned. O.o Now a new major side-character just slipped in somehow. O.o It is very unpredictable.
Proof that you have nothing of importance to say.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

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xerox
xerox


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
posted October 09, 2010 10:03 PM

Well, ORIGINALLY the story was supposed to be set IRL (it was completly different) and the story was basically 2012 a "timestorm" appears over Earth that changes to become another world and on that world, the "timestorm" happens again and they have to destroy it
originally, I wanted everything in the universe to be completly realisitc and that all creatures should be based on mythology or my own imagination but that changed later
(also the original story was creepy because it turned out that the girlfriend of the main character was his sister on earth... -.-)

Creatures I have invented:

* Vargulf. They look pretty much like werewolves but they are in no way shapeshifters, just a humanoid race that resemble wolves. When I made an MMO idea based on my own universe, they were one of the three races of a faction I named "The Tribes".

* Gnarl. Related to the Vargulf but they are less organized and look more like dogmen.

* Nordyr. Ancestors of humans that are based on North mythology. Powerful Nordyr can ascend to become Valkyries.

* Unnamed insectoid race that arent relevant to the story.

* Unamed yak-like humanoids that arent relevant to the story.

And then I have my own twists to races that already exist in mythology and other games. Like the Dwarves have a dictatorship and have sealed themself off underground to fight some unamed demonic race. The only dwarves that appear in the books are a small faction of outcasts that live on the surface. They are druidic and "elementalistic".

Wood elves are based on eastern Asian-cultures and they do not give a snow about anyone except themselves. Snow elves are very distantly related to Wood elves and they have some "science-fiction" stuff with them like ships that can warp around etc.

My Goblins live on a group of jungle and swamp islands and are very voodooish.

Nereids are an underwater serpentine race that the Wood elves and Snow elves come from. They were also the first mages.

Unnamed Egyptian race that I have no plans for.

But only Humans, Nordyr, Snow and Wood elves are important in this story. I like the Valkyries a lot because the humans believe they are angelic beings sent by their goddess Aureia to help them when they are in fact powerful Nordyr spellcasters that have become one with Ley energy. So when a swarm of Valkyries appear over the human capital city they are quite suprised when they begin to burn the city and slaugther everyone (they are looking for the main female character in the books who they want to turn into a valkyrie)
____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill

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Adrius
Adrius


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
posted October 09, 2010 10:19 PM
Edited by Adrius at 22:21, 09 Oct 2010.

Quote:
Vargulf

Haha

Varg = swedish for wolf
Ulf = old swedish for wolf

FEAR THE WOLF-WOLVES!

Why so many races?
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Carcity
Carcity


Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
posted October 10, 2010 12:17 AM

I feel like writing a book too, I've got the story and all too.

Some girl gets a tough childhood for lookign different, she becomes strong as grownup, big evil threatens world, she gets told she is the chosen one who will save the world from the ultimate evil with the power of a god. She goes on with courage and attacks him, fires an arrow in his eye, he gets pissed and incinerates the crap out of her, she dies, books ends.
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Why can't you save anybody?

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Warlord
Warlord


Famous Hero
Lord of Image Spam
posted October 31, 2010 02:48 AM

Quote:
I feel like writing a book too, I've got the story and all too.

Some girl gets a tough childhood for lookign different, she becomes strong as grownup, big evil threatens world, she gets told she is the chosen one who will save the world from the ultimate evil with the power of a god. She goes on with courage and attacks him, fires an arrow in his eye, he gets pissed and incinerates the crap out of her, she dies, books ends.


Great book. I would totally read it!
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xerox
xerox


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
posted March 13, 2011 04:46 PM

Well, as mentioned above, I changed the prologue chapter and scrapped the old one so I figured out that I should release the original, scrapped and unfinished early draft of it that I wrote months ago.

Also it was originally in swedish, I've spent a couple of hours to translate it to english as well as I possibly can so I hope there aren't any super-ackward bits of text. Keep in mind that this was unfinished, and removed for a reason and reworked into another faster-paced chapter later on in the book.  

Prologue
Red Dawn
A red sun rose up over the mountains to the east and the towering columns of stone that bore up the Elvish city of Shiromar and its large mother tree Diralis. Around the four stone pillars that held up the town circled red fenghuangs, long winged beasts that the wood elves had long ago formed a mental bond with.
And in Shiromar were not only wood elves, but also two snow elves who were far away from their homeland.
One of them, the beautiful and tall woman Zelinde, had lived as an ambassador among the wood elves for several years while the long-haired, but short man Vylthar had recently arrived in town to attend a meeting that would change the course of the future forever.

The morning sun shone on the southwest pillar of Shiromar, where Zelinde and Vylthar lived. The door to the typical terraced red house with the curved ceiling was opened by an exotic creature, a wood elf. She was tall and slim with slanted eyes like a cat and curved ears that stretched backwards. She had almost animalistic but still beautiful facial features. Her long hair fell down on her shoulders. Her skin bore a tone of slight, faded green. The clothes she wore were of a perfect craft. She wore a large piece of light blue fabric that seemed to be fixed with a wide white belt that covered the entire waist. On her feet she wore sandals and fabric covered almost her entire arms.

- I come with a message from master Suohei. The Council will start soon, she said with a soft voice that concealed the primal aspect that existed within all wood elves.  
Zelinde sat up from the bed, wrapped with a silk quilt. She had not slanted eyes as the wood elves had, but she was just as tall and instead of having ears that bended backwards, her ears were slightly shorter and stuck straight up.
Just as the wood elves, she had long eyelashes but the most characteristic feature of the snow elf, was the colour of her eyes. Her eyes shone bright blue, surging with magical energy. Energy flowed constantly in and out of the snow elf's body.
- We will come as soon as possible, said Zelinde and bowed to the envoy. The messenger bowed back.
- If that is the will of the stars, the wood elf said and bowed once again before she pushed away the light side-door and walked away.
"Wake up Vylthar, the council will soon open. We must be there before the sun has gone up." Said Zelinde through the power of thought. Vylthar winced sharply before he woke up.
- Never wake me up with mental whispering. I am not to fond of being penetrated right through the head, Vylthar mumbled from the bed. He  was also covered over with a silk quilt. Vylthar got up from the bed and started putting on his large orange coloured robe.
- Have you ever thought of actually telling me what this council is all about? He asked.
- It's about war and conflict. As you know, the people of Aevlon long fought against their neighbors, the nordyr in the Northern Grounds. As it stands now, we see the hatred between these two races to reach its climax. Both we and the wood elves of Sylvar, agree with that the nordyr are superior in power to the people of the Kingdom. We simply think that the nordyr would exterminate the humans, should a war start. We also both agree that it would be sad to watch such a simple but fast developing race vanish from the surface of Sceracion. There are many things to discuss at the council.  
Can we stop this war before it begins? If there is a war, should we help the humans? If the nordyr are victorious, are we certain that they won't attempt to conquer more lands in Aevlon and cast the entire continent into war? Explained Zelinde and put on her equally large but white robe, which was actually a wood elven garment.
- So what you are saying is, that we are going to reveal the very existence of our people and perhaps even teach those humans the knowledge of manipulating an enormously powerful energy that they would most likely just abuse? Well, I for one do not feel like babysitting the humans. I think that if the humans want to rush into a war which they will obviously lose, than they only have themselves to blame and should not complain about facing the consequences of a failed war, said Vylthar and wrinkled his long eyebrows.
- Vylthar, this is an entire race, that we're talking about. A civilization that is flourishing. Would it not be incredibly sad if our research over the evolution of a currently successfull rising civilization would suddenly stop? Wondered Zelinde.
- Maybe so, said Vylthar. It will be interesting to hear what our "cousins" ​​here in Sylvar have to say about it.
And with those words, Zelinde shot off the side door and they walked out of the red, terraced house.

It was beautiful outside. The sun shone over the mountains and down to the massive four stone pillars that the city sat on. The over hundred meters wide and tall main column stretched up in the middle of the natural, enormous rock formation, and three smaller pillars that were connected by bridges surrounded it.
The great main column was almost completely covered with water. Water that flowed over the edges on all sides and caused some of the biggest waterfalls seen in all of Sceracion.
One of the smaller pillars (the Eastern one) was too almost completely covered with water, in addition to a series of small islands in the middle where the elven druids had their council this day.
Shiromars great red palace stood upon the northwestern pillar and Zelinde and Vylthar were on the southwestern one. But the most impressive feature of the wood elven capital city was the huge tree that grew in the middle of the large central pillar. The tree covered almost all the small surface area and the longest roots stretched out over the pillar edge.

- Master Obrion has ordered us to escort you to the council at the Druid temple. Although he trusts you, Zelinde, he does not trust the man you have brought with you, said one of the four tall and slender elven guards who met them outside the door to the red house. They all wore full equipment made of an unusual dark green metal and their spears seemed to be made out of the same material.
- Zelinde has not called me here. I was called here by Silver City's own ruling council, said Vylthar. He already knew that he was not really welcome in Shiromar or in whole Sylvar at all. It was not secret that the wood elves were a rather xenophobic race.
- Ah, so it is your very nations fault that Shiromar has to endure yet another scourge from the northern ices, said the officer, and both he and his colleagues grinned broadly at Vylthar and Zelinde. Vylthar looked very humiliated and Zelinde suddenly noticed that Vylthar was preparing a fire spell to use against the troublesome guards. The guards noticed that Vylthars right hand was starting to glow.
- It is prohibited to use such black and corrupt magic in Sylvar!  We'll have to arrest you! Stammered the guard, clearly somewhat shocked. Both he and the other guards sheated their spears and had started pointing them against the two pale snow elves. Wood elven citizens gathered around and looked curiously at the drama.
"Stop immediately to channel offensive energies against them and let me handle this now. Apparently, you just noticed that we are amongst a people that have completly different traditions and cultures from us and would do anything to get us out of their capital city!" Whispered Zelinde into Vylthars mind and stared angrily at him. The growing light within Vylthars hand soon faded away.
- I am very sorry for my colleague's childish behavior, kunseni. I'll make sure he does not disturb the harmony of the city any more. But we would very much like to continue on our way to the temple. I fear that we are already turning up late. It is extremely important that we get there. In time, too. Said Zelinde graciously to the guard. The guard looked at her with their glowing, cat-like eyes.
- Very well, let's move then. I see that we are already gathering a crowd here. But you, said the officer and starred at Vylthar, will not get any more chances here. If I see you breaking the harmony of the city again, then I'll make sure that you will be banned from these forests, or even better, face excecution.
Vylthar was just about to say something humiliating to the guard but stopped when he saw Zelindes cold, blue eyes staring into him.
- I understand completely, Kunseni. He said after stealing the title Zelinde had used to the guard. They bowed to each other, as Zelinde already taught him, to show that they do not mean any harm, but both strive for balance and harmony but this was of course, only symbolic and it was obvious to all the people involved that their grudge would not end so easily.

Shiromar was a beautiful city and although it was so highly elevated, there did grow a few trees between the autumn-colored houses with curved roofs. The trees wore black bark and instead of leaves, they had many white flowers.
Everywhere lamps hang with golden lights burning within them and at this time of year, the city had largely been decorated with yellow and golden hues. On the walls were paintings of a foxlike creature with many tails seen, a kitsune.
All this decoration hade been made because in the wood elven calendar, it was now the Month of the Stars.
During this time, the wood elves honor the dead and take care of the trees more than usual because the dead wood elves are buried under the roots of trees. This month is also the saddest period of the year and people stay more quiet than usual and a peaceful silence settles over the woodland.

Two guards walked in front of Zelinde and Vylthar and two guards walked behind them. They now went over the bridge that led to the large central pillar. It was over one hundred meters wide and high and in the middle of it stood the gigantic tree Diralis.
During her stay in Shiromar, Zelinde had learned that the pillars with water in them were in fact hollow and water was pumped up within in them, only to fall down in the waterfalls and then go down into underground canals. It was an endless cycle and the islands upon the pillars were basically floating because of the high pressure that the water within the pillars created.
Crossing the bridge would by some be considered to be a wonderful, unique experience but by some an awful, ear-deafening experience. Because although the view with the tree Diralis in the background abd seeing the garguantan waterfalls gush down the pillar was truly amazing, it was also very unpleasant for the ears. The wood elves living here, had of course got used to the noise though.
  After crossing the bridge, the elves reached an island that lay on the edge of the column, and they had to go by boat in order to cross the water.
The buildings on the central, large island that was mostly covered by the actual gigantic tree, were painted in shades of green instead of the yellow that the houses on the pillar Zelinde and Vylthar had stayed on had.

- How did you create this place? I have seen many strange and beautiful places in my travels around the Sceracion, but this must still be the most impressive place I have ever seen. Vylthar admitted.
- Created? We may have created Shiromar, but this place existed long before us. Diralis has been around since the dawn of time. Long ago, we worshiped the earth, air, water, moon, sun and stars, but now we are a part of those elements. We've committed ourselves to the large trees and thus nature and the elements themselves. Those powers have given us the abilties and features we need in order to serve as the protectors of all life on Sceracion, replied one of the guards proudly.
- Are there more of these large trees in Sylvar? Wondered Vylthar and looked up to Diralis massive crown.
- I see that your knowledge of Sylvar is limited. There were once many large trees, but over time they have been cut down and killed by different races, including ourselves before we got the chance to redeem ourselves and become a part of nature instead. Today there are only a dozen known Large trees left in this world. There are four left here in Sylvar and a few more outside of Sylvars borders, said the head of the elven guard escort.
- Very interesting. I can feel powerful energies flow out of Diralis. It is almost the same energetic feeling that all of us snow elves feel back in the Oracle City.
I can imagine that Oracle Spire and the Large trees works much the same way, by channeling an energy from below to the top, said Vylthar and started thinking of plans of how the snow elves could claim and establish settlements around the great trees and harvest their energies that the snow elven race were dependant on.
- Remember what I said about talking about the manipulation of energies in this city. We wood elves do not agree with your ways of enslaving and manipulating natural energies instead of letting them flow freely, said the guard.
- Forgive me, kunseni. Said Vylthar and silence settled over the group.

They soon came across a small island on the outskirts of the central column and then went over another bridge that led them over to the temple pillar which for the most part was covered by water, with a central island in the middle where the wood elven religious leaders, mostly druids and elementalists, were located.
Inside the temple there, lay a great garden with a stone circle in it. Inside the circle, the council would be held. Normally, the council would have been held under the very roots of Diralis on the central island btu because Diralis is sacred, Zelinde and Vylthar would not have been allowed to come that location so the meeting was moved to the Temple pillar instead.

The first thing that greeted them when they came over to the island was a large red gate with an open vault. The gate was supported by two wooden pillars which were surrounded by green vines with white flowers. Just behind the red door stood two statues with long feathered snake-like bodies that stretched up and spread their great wings. Zelinde who had lived in Shiromar for a long time knew what it was, the statues showed creatures called fenghuangs. Fenghuangs are flying animals that most resemble a cross between a snake and a bird. Both Zelinde and Vylthar had already seen them alive just a few moments earlier as they are always patrolling around Shiromar-Diralis with their Elven riders, who they share a mental bond with.

Behind the doorless gate stood the acual temple.  It had roughly the same architecture as the rest of the houses in Shiromar. At the back of the temple there were stairs to a shrine where the temple's most sacred treasures were held and where the highest ranked druids and elementalists meditated and worked.
Everywhere around the temple there were flowers, trees and shrubs. Some plants slithered around the walls of the temple like snakes.
Just outside the temple was a very small shrine where they were told to place their weapons.
- Weapons and violence are not allowed inside the seat of harmony. I must ask you to put your arms at chidoenen there. said one of the guards.
- As you wish, kunseni. Sade Zelinde and so they lay their wands - or venceosae -  into the chidoenen.

They went into the temple, which always had its outer doors open during times of peace. They came in a large open hall that was lighted up by hundreds of lanterns and decorated with everything from ancient writings to mighty statues. In the middle of the hall stood a lonely wood elf who certainly emitted an aura of authority.  
He had long black hair, robes which consisted of a large dark green shirt with long sleeves, a dark belt and equally dark trousers. Like most elves, he walked around barefooted. What Zelinde and Vylthar noted most was the long sheath that hung down to his waist. It hid a powerful long sword. The weapons ban did apparently not apply to all individuals.
He made a sign with his fingers to the four guards who had escorted Zelinde and Vylthar to the Temple and the guards bowed and went away. Vylthar suddenly had the feeling that they had been tricked to go into the temple and would then be tortured or executed.
It did not matter if they had given their wands away, they could still use spells without them, though that was harder and  the wands certainly served a purpose. After just a few days in the capitol, he felt paranoid. He figured out which spell he would use if the battle would turn up. Luckily, there existed a tremendous amount of energy around the big tree Diralis that he could channel.
- Welcome, ikaii. You are expected, said the lone elven male and bowed.
- Thanks, mishin Obrion. I regret that we are running late, but there were some minor issues on the way here. Zelinde replied and both she and Vylthar bowed politely. Obrion laughed.
- Late? We both live for over a thousnad years. I did feel that something disturbed the harmony of the town for a while, but that is  nothing that is worth argueing over. We should go directly to the council. Speaking of conflict, we do not use any kind of violence here. That I carry a blade, is symbolic and shows that I am a warrior. Said Obrion and smiled.
- So you're not the religious leader here? Wondered Vylthar who could not bring her eyes from the sword handle sticking up from its sheath.
- Absolutely not. I am however, the Regional lord of Diralis and the city Shiromar and its representative in this council, explained Obrion.
- What an honor, said Zelinde and bowed again. She sent a signal to Vylthars head that he would do the same thing, which he obediently did.
- If you are going to keep on with that politeness, then I suspect that you will get quite the neck pain after you have done the same thing to all the people attending the council. The Regional lords from all parts of Sylvar have been able to attend, said Obrion with a broad smile.
- Well, let's just do a really big bow to all of them then, said Vylthar. Zelinde gave him an evil eye, that Obrion did not seemto noticeb because he was lauging.
- Yes, it is enough that you bow once. You are Shiromars and all of Sylvars guests during your stay. Perhaps it is I, that should bow to yoy. It is not often that we see snow elves here in Sylvar, said  Obrion and bowed to them.

They walked through the pillar-riddened hall and came out to what looked like a large park and garden. There were flowers and smaller trees everywhere. There were many small, little streams and tiny bridges went over them and in one of the dams Zelinde saw frogs jump around and insects hovered around the flowers. The druids seemed to have created their own little ecosystem.
Obrion led them into the stone circle where all the Regional lords sat on high chairs. One of the lords seemd to be a druid which had feathers displayed in his dark hair and a garment out of animal skin and fur. He and all the lords looked at Zelinde and Vylthar with praying eyes, as if they were under arrest, which Vylthar certainly thought was the case.
Zelinde noticed a woman dressed in black standing next to a tall man who was dressed in full armor that was just as dark. Zelinde got a bad feeling about her and the man for they too, wore weapons despite  the ban.  Zelinde could clearly see the handle of a dagger sticking up on both sides of the elven womans' slim waist.
Zelinde and Vylthar sat down with Obrion and the druid lord smiled as they sat down. There was a complete silence before he started talking.
- Diralis and Sylvar warmly invites you, brothers and sisters. Someone snorted when he called Zelinde and Vylthar for siblings of the wood elves but he continued. I am Teren kaishou Etaidate, one of  Sylvars many religious leaders. You have been called to participate in this council, where we shall discuss the fate of humanity and how it could affect us.
But first, let Sylvars Regional lords present themselves to you. Ten regional lords with Obrion included were sitting in high chairs around the stone circle. Obrion sat transversely to the man with the dark armor and the black-clad woman. Obrion himself was the one who started to introduce himself.
- Once again I welcome you and Shiromar, Zelinde and Vylthar. It's me and Shiromar that brought this question up.
As I am sure your logical senses have concluded, we have spies within the humans own kingdom and what we have seen is that a war between the humans of the southern Aevlonian greenlands and the nordyr of the Northern Grounds... approaches. Such a war would certainly mean the destruction of the humans nation, the so called "Kingdom", and we think that it would be such a pity that a race that has made so much progress in a short time would just vanish so fast.
Shiromar is ready to send troops to help the humans if the possible situation during that possible war becomes critical. But Shiromar does not represent the whole nation of Sylvar and the majority of Sylvars regions have to agree with us because this is a decision that will determine the future of our land and open up our borders a bit after our long isolation,  said Obrion and finished his presentation.

The net regional lord which would present themselves to Zelinde and Vylthar was an unusually broad-shouldered man with dark, short hair. He seemed to hesitate at welcoming Zelinde and Vylthar to Sylvar at first.
- Welcome, Zelinde and Vylthar. Vylthar looked surprised, they already knew their names. Perhaps this was all planned. The lord contiuned. I am Mushofu, Regional lord of the borderwoods Kokkaiar.   I and Kokkaiar believe that Sylvar has more important things to focus on during these times than the fate of a race of warmongers. If the nordyr slaugther them, then perhaps that is the will of nature and will be beneficial to Sceracion in the long run.
Zelinde was sure that a massive debate would now explode but everything remained in harmony.

The next Regional lord was a woman who wore a beautiful light blue dress that suited her dark blond hair.
- I'm Regional lord Onaia and I and my part of Sylvar, Ziutemel welcome you to Sylvar. You will always be able to find safety in Ziutemel. We believe that the war between these two races should be stopped before it even breaks out. We should make every effort to maintain harmony on Aevlon.
Onaia bowed and closed the cat-like green eyes as a sign that her introduction to Zelinde, Vylthar and the rest of the ouncil was finished.

The next regional lord was also a long and beautiful woman who wore a traditional robe with matching golden and yellow colors as they were colors of the Month of the Stars. She had long white hair, thew same color as Zelindes hair. She had a sharp straight face and it looked like a storm was about to break out of her blue eyes.
- Welcome to Shiromar, she said and Zelinde felt that the fact that she had just welcomed them to Shiromar but not the rest of Sylvar was not a coincidence. My name is regional lord and elementalist Gazai. I am acting as the region and the Great Tree Okashais representative. Like many other highly desired elementalists, I believe that a war between humans and nordyr could be one of the first signs of the cycle of order coming to an end and that we should not interfere in such a thing. At this time, Okashai will not give any support to Sylvar being involved in this conflict.  
Both Vylthar and Zelinde had bad thoughts about him Gazai. First of all, it was very clear in her voice that having two snow elves in Sylvar disturbed her. Secondly, she spoke of some kind of doomsday story with the cycle of order coming to an end, and it was obvious that chaos would come after order. Zelinde and Vylthar did not like such beliefs, as they often had not facts supporting them.

The net lord was a man who was hidden behind a his big dark green cloak and hood. Under the hood, his face was covered with a mask. From his appearance, Zelinde could identify the man as some sort of ranger or hunter. He began talking with a rather deep voice.
- Zelinde and Vylthar, he began. You are both welcome to Sylvars forests. I am called Akiuro and is region-master of Sylvars border to the Northern Grounds. The region is called Taisha. According to our scouts in the Northern grounds, the nordyr are actually moving closer towards Sylvar aswell. We have seen the establishment of small forts in the southern parts of the northern forests.
Though we have no evidence that the nordyr are planning an actual attack on Sylvar, which would be foolish and unlike them of course, we also believe that if Sylvar should face a direct threat then we should assist the humans in their upcomming war.
If the nordyr become a major plan to us aswell, we are willing to cooperate with humans and work out a siege plan on the nordyr capital city and fortress of Hjemgvard. Thank you.

Akiuro bowed and the next regional lord was a blond man who looked youthful even for an elf. He wore traditional but noble purple robes and carried a golden crown under the long hair. In strong contrast to Akiuero, he spoke with a very light and soft voice.
- Zelinde and Vylthar, you will always be welcome to Sylvar and the region I represent in this council - the region of Hakairu. Since we are adjacent to humans' Kingdom, we have maintained contact with them even after the fall of Ciron, which I asume you are familiar with as an enlightened people.
I must admit that the humans do have a rich and constantly evolving culture and as previously said, it would be sad if a race with such a big potential that they could compete with us in the future, would be destroyed so early. My name is Ranjil, thank you. would be destroyed as soon. Of course, my name Ranil.

After Ranjil it was not a single regional lord who was about to speak, but two. A couple. Zelinde was very surprised because she had not seen many couples at all during her stay in Shiromar.
The man in the pair wore a similar garment that Ranjil had worn, but his garment was royally red. He had silver hair and the women had golden hair. She was dressed in a traditional pink dress and her hair was sitting in a complex set of several white and yellow flowers.
- My name is Teidhan, the man said, smiling.
- And my name is Dalaye, said the woman. I and Teidhan are acting together as the coastal region Aumurans regional lord.
- We welcome you to Sylvar and you can always feel comfortable in our palace in Aumuran, said Teidhan.
- It's Aumurans view that Sylvar should not interfere in this conflict. Aumuran will not be ready to support this conflict unless Aumuran itself is threatened. Thank you, said Dalaye and so bowed the two.
Vylthar thought that the two represented the wood elven stereotype. She had said that the region Aumuran would not provide any help to Sylvar even if it was determined that Sylvat would go to war against the nordyr and help the humans. The wood elven stereotype was that they pretended to care about all life but the truth is, that they only really care about themselves and have absolutely no intentions of helping someone else unless it benefits them. And this seemed to fit in to this pair. Vylthar was well aware of that there were grains of truth in all stereotypes.

After the couple, came a tall woman who wore a robe of the same noble style that Ranjil had. The entire garment pictured a meadow and was beautifully decorated with different flowers and plants. The woman had fairly long brown hair and a crown made of twigs and flowers. She was probably a druid.
- Welcome, Zelinde and Vylthar, she said, smiling. My name is Ishio and I am the region Kaituais lady. Like Hakairu, Kaituai lies adjacent to the humans' land. Ranjil and I have very close ties and together we can certainly think that we can send a significant, joint-regional force to the Northern Grounds.
It is my opinion that Sylvar has been isolated for tar too long.  Maybe it's time for us to fully restore our relationship with the humans, we did share a metropolis in the past. Again, welcome.
Zelinde liked Ishio. She and Ranjils region seemed to work greatly together and they both seemed to be eager to get Sylvar out of its isolation and show themselves as a major power on Aevlon. Zelinde thought that perhaps her own country, should reveal itself. But unlike Sylvar, Borei had a much larger role for Sceracion and the snow elves had observed activities around Sceracion for millenia without revealing their existence at the roof of the world. They were certainly the most powerful race, and Zelinde feared that revealing the existence of a snow elven nation would cause global instability.

Now, only three regions remain. Shiromar itself, Ximazan which was ruled by a sect of elementalists and the independent Wakashi - a region ruled by its own military.
____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill

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Adrius
Adrius


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
posted March 13, 2011 05:07 PM

Well that was surprisingly enjoyable, good work.

A few pointers though.

Quote:
- As you wish, kunseni. Sade Zelinde and so they lay their wands - or venceosae -  into the chidoenen.

Or you could just call them... you know... wands.

Quote:
My name is Ranjil, thank you. would be destroyed as soon. Of course, my name Ranil.

Is Ranjil a retard or did you mistranslate?
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xerox
xerox


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
posted March 13, 2011 05:26 PM

Thanks

Quote:
Or you could just call them... you know... wands.


Because the guy who made up the swedish word for wand is lame. Trollstav? It sounds super lame and childish. It sounds to much Harry Potter. I just made up a temporary latin/greek sounding name (the snow elves are based on those greek philosophers etc) for them which I would use for the rest of the series in the rare occasions when wands are used (not a lot, considering its a snow elven-exclusive invention).
I am probably just going to name trollstavar into "vandar" or something, because I refuse to use the word "trollstav" or "trollformel" or anything with troll in it!
Except for the race of trolls

Quote:
My name is Ranjil, thank you. would be destroyed as soon. Of course, my name Ranil


Lol xD Well, I did not work a lot with the prologue chapters in terms of editing etc so thats one error.
Nah, he's name is Ranjil and he only appears like two or three times in the series in my "book plan" (as there is a second council in another book).

   
____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill

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Adrius
Adrius


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
posted March 13, 2011 05:37 PM

Trollstav does sound pretty silly, but venceosae is even sillier. Considering that it's only seen a few times you might as well use a word that people know instead of inventing your own.
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