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| Thread: Geekiest Joke (A contest) |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Nickman77
Famous Hero
from Poland.
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posted February 09, 2002 02:31 PM |
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Now mods may give a QP for member who wrote the best joke.
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted February 09, 2002 05:40 PM |
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Okay, time to pull out the geeky stops. This one combines biology geekiness with math geekiness.
What do you get when you breed a mosquito with a rock climber?
Nothing. Everybody knows you can't cross a vector with a scalar.
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chubby051
Promising
Known Hero
King of All That Are Fat
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posted February 10, 2002 12:05 PM |
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3 Jokes
Two flies are sitting on a piece of sh*t, one fly farts, the other says, "Hey, I am eating"
Floralist Joke
What do you call a country full of pink cars.
A Pink Carnation.
This one envolves your participation.
1. Stand in front of a mirror.
2. Bend your right wrist so it makes 90 degree angle with forearm. (Palm facing down)
3. Touch your left nipple
4. Try to bit your right shoulder
What are you?
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Trees Grow Taller in the Shade
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted February 10, 2002 05:11 PM |
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This one is about Music
What so you call a country where everyone walks with their feet pointed towards eachother?
It's an intonation.
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Go Red Sox!
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Yanzhangcan
Known Hero
*Dance*
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posted January 17, 2007 03:38 AM |
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Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli? He was pulled in by a strong currant.
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JenJen
Tavern Dweller
hello :P
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posted January 17, 2007 10:19 AM |
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Edited by JenJen at 10:19, 17 Jan 2007.
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What do you call a guy who is floating on water?
Bob.
What do you call a guy who is lying in front of a door?
Mat.
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted January 17, 2007 03:40 PM |
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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
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John says to live above hell.
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the_gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted January 17, 2007 05:10 PM |
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Scratch that. I ain't got no long term plans to go to New York now. A cool cat like me cannot possibly stand to be seen in public with the uberdork that started this thread. Does he drink beer or Jolt cola?
Edit: He still pokes his head around here? Ok bort
Quote:
What do you get when you breed a mosquito with a rock climber?
Nothing. Everybody knows you can't cross a vector with a scalar.
You win. Nothing I've ever heard comes close to topping this.
By the way, my dad is a math professor. He used to tell me he'd pay me fifty cents(that's a year's wage for some of you pinko socialist euros) for any joke I'd tell him that he could use in the classroom. After years and years of trying to get that cheap bastard to cough up two quarters for some of the funniest and most offensive jokes he'd ever heard, I finally got him to pay up on one.
Q: What geometric figure represents a lost parrot?
A: Poly-gone!
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted January 17, 2007 05:12 PM |
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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GenieLord
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted January 17, 2007 05:39 PM |
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Ben asked the teacher: "Can you punish me for something I didn't do?"
The teacher: "No"
Ben: "So I didn't do homework."
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Shadowcaster
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Shaded Scribe
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posted January 17, 2007 06:32 PM |
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As an English major, it took me ages to understand this one...
A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.
e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"
diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"
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>_>
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mr_niceguy
Famous Hero
of power
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posted January 18, 2007 10:58 AM |
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What's a Surgeons favourite musical instrument?
The organ
Why did the scientist have 2 hydroxides?
He wanted to play the double bass
-mr_niceguy
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a stich in time saves nine... what the hell does that mean?
If u enjoy telling ur friends of how uve never been beaten with ur own legs, u'd rethink making a comment
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted January 18, 2007 01:04 PM |
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What does every woman say after sleeping with Bill Gates?
"Now I know why they call you MicroSoft"...
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted January 18, 2007 03:36 PM |
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Quote:
As an English major, it took me ages to understand this one...
A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.
e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"
diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"
I know that I'm supposed to get this, but I don't.
What's the point of taking higher math if you can't get stupid math jokes?  I'm going on strike.
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John says to live above hell.
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted January 18, 2007 04:06 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
As an English major, it took me ages to understand this one...
A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.
e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"
diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"
I know that I'm supposed to get this, but I don't.
What's the point of taking higher math if you can't get stupid math jokes? I'm going on strike.
It's not a joke - there's no point to it, and nothing funny either?
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What will happen now?
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted January 18, 2007 04:16 PM |
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Isn't it something like x differentiated by d/dy wouldn't eliminate it, rather negating e to the power of x?
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John says to live above hell.
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Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
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posted January 30, 2007 02:51 AM |
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Edited by Iris at 02:59, 30 Jan 2007.
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d/dx of e^x is just e^x
d/dy of e^x is poof
(Joke is e^x thought the differentiator is d/dx, and didn't expect d/dy)
And someone already told my muffin joke. 
Okay, here's one: How many DBZ characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just 1, but it takes 3 episodes.
Another one: Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty !" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good" and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted January 30, 2007 10:35 AM |
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Ha ha Isis, thanx for explaining it. Funny thing is that the eye always sees what it wants to see, so I didn't even notice it said d/dy and not d/dx - which was of course the trick of the joke - but if you read d/dx, the joke is not that fun at all.
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What will happen now?
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted January 30, 2007 11:07 AM |
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Never underestimate tehnicians!! they can always repair things, especially if it's functioning...
another joke: A driver is going too fast. A policeman stops him:
PoliceFreak: "Sir, you have been driving very fast, do you want to end up in a hospital?"
Driver: "As fast as possible!"
PoliceFreak: "Are you a smartass?"
Driver: "No! I'm a doctor"
Another joke:
John: Damn, this video card melt down and overloaded.. go to the market and buy another one, Bill.
Bill: Command in process, please wait...
after some time, Bill returns without the video card
John: Where is the video card?
Bill: Process couldn't find the specified file, search again?
John: No, I want you to tell me why didn't you call me at the moment.
Bill: Operation could not be performed, required driver missing.
John: What's wrong with you?
Bill: Page fault generated, exception handled...
John: What?
Bill: System not functioning properly, interrupts disabled
John: Are you drunk or what?
Bill: Anti-virus software detected virus. Code: 4398810, String name: John, Threat: Ultimate
John: You're not serious, are you?
Bill: System must scan and delete it.. operation in process, please wait..
John: What the....
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Xaremathras
Adventuring Hero
Always Full of Crap!!
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posted February 24, 2007 03:10 AM |
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Animals!!
This is a 4-part joke.
Q.How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A.Open the door, put the giraffe in, Close the door.
Q.How do you put a hippo in a refrigerator?
A.Open the door, take out the giraffe, put the hippo in, Close the door.
Q.The Lion King made a meeting for all animals. Which animal didn't come?
A.The hippo, because it was stuck in the fridge.
Q.You crossed a lake where alligators live. How did you do it?
A.The alligators were at the meeting, so they didn't attack you.
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When you see Satan, tell him that I'm sorry about the cookies!
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