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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Who Wants to be an Internut?
Thread: Who Wants to be an Internut? This thread is 2 pages long: 1 2 · NEXT»
mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted January 15, 2014 02:28 AM
Edited by mvassilev at 02:37, 15 Jan 2014.

Who Wants to be an Internut?

Inspired by ghost's post, the Wrong Answer Game, HC Olympics: Calm Arguing, and the OSM, I present a new Tavern Game:



WHO WANTS TO BE AN INTERNUT?



Have you ever seen someone argue on the Internet and thought they were off their meds? Have you ever seen someone express a view that made you think they were trolling? In Who Wants to Be an Internut, you try to act like one of those people. Express radically wrong views, commit fallacies, and act like that one guy everyone dismisses as crazy. If that sounds like fun, this is the game for you.

The game is simple. I, the thread creator, will start a topic with a sentence or two. Other posters are free to take it from there, discussing the topic. You're allowed to go off-topic, but in a way that's natural - there shouldn't be any abrupt topic changes. Whatever you're discussing, your goal is to be wrong while still appearing coherent. How you do that is up to you. You're free to post as many times as you want (but don't spam). After enough people have responded, I will judge the contestants' entries (like in the Wrong Answer thread), and start the next round.

Example:
Topic:
Who killed JFK, and why?
Post 1:
JFK was killed on the orders of LBJ, for embezzling money from the Apollo Program. That's why they had to fake the moon landing. Unfortunately, by the time of JFK's assassination, it was too late and the money had already been spent on Marilyn Monroe.
Post 2:
JFK's death had nothing to do with the moon landing because he never died. He got tired of the presidency getting in the way of his playboy habits, so he faked his own death. A few years later, he decided to become an astronaut, so he could get girls even more easily. He qualified without too much difficulty, having been a pilot during WWII. Then he went to the moon, as planned. After a long career as an astronaut/playboy, he finally settled down in Texas and reentered politics. Today we know him as Ron Paul.

There are only a few rules:
Meta discussion of the topic goes in double parentheses, like this: (([meta comment goes here])).
No posts that break the CoC.
You can post nonsense, but it must be coherent nonsense. You can say things that are blatantly wrong, but not random gibberish or unconnected sentences.
Your post must either address the original topic or someone else's points. You can go off-topic, but it shouldn't be abrupt. There should be a transition between the post you're responding to and your post.
Try to sound serious. Don't start talking about gnomes and balloons unless the topic is gnomes and balloons.
Don't get offended. No one believes what they're posting in this thread.


Topic 1:
Historians regard Stalin as a murderous dictator, but many elderly Russians today look at him with nostalgia. Stalin, good or bad?
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OhforfSake
OhforfSake


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Legendary Hero
Initiate
posted January 15, 2014 02:36 AM

Definitely good.

I know he was responsible for killing millions of people, and that's evil, but it's no near the level of what others have done. Why should he suffer while people we see as war heroes, such as Alexander the Great or Pythagoras (he's leader of this sect) are regarded as heroes? Even the northerners look back at their viking past with pride, despite it's mainly known for how horrible they threated other people.

When it comes to it, S was probably a hero, just imagine had Lenin stayed in power when Germany invaded Russia, and we'd all be speaking German today, except those of us who'd be dead.

When enough year passes, S will be looked at like people such as Alexander, not as a criminal, but as a hero. He received a poor nation within a horrible environment and if it weren't for the US, he'd have build the most powerful nation to this day. Heck he even won the space race, talk about progressive priority.

((Did I try to hard?))

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted January 15, 2014 02:38 AM
Edited by mvassilev at 02:39, 15 Jan 2014.

((Well done. That's a good example post - better than my examples.))
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OhforfSake
OhforfSake


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Legendary Hero
Initiate
posted January 15, 2014 02:47 AM

((Thank you ))
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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


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Undefeatable Hero
Iceskating uphill
posted January 15, 2014 03:02 AM
Edited by blizzardboy at 04:01, 15 Jan 2014.

Mvass, before we even go into this discussion, I would like to make a few pointers here, 1) Discussing a topic under a falsely believed pretext makes the topic itself rather meaningless, and 2) Just because historians say so and so doesn't make it actually true. Where there is money, there is going to be bias. That's the way the turnip spins. The question is not what kind of man Stalin was, but rather, who was this so-called "Josef Stalin". Have you met him? Because I haven't. Sure they had his body on display at a funeral, but what is a body and a face suppose to mean? There are plenty of those and it's easy to impersonate somebody, just ask any half-decent beautician or artist. Could somebody please explain to me why a so-called Josef Stalin would have executed an entire army of his own high ranking officers while he was on the verge of war with the Axis powers in both the east and the west? According to all accounts, the Soviet leadership wasn't a glutton for self-inflicted punishment. They were, of course, interested in their own welfare and preservation, and yet there was a Great Officer Purge that occurred that severely compromised the leadership AND skill of the senior Red Army staff. Zhukov was about the only decent general, and why did he live? Well, simple, because he didn't know something that the Soviet leadership didn't want knowing, so it was not necessary to have him killed, namely, that Josef Stalin is a non-existent persona used by an oligarchy of Soviet leaders. Everybody knows that taking on the role of both head of state AND head of government is an extremely precarious one. Think of Adolf Hitler and the number of assassination attempts on him; it was essentially out of sheer luck that he managed to dodge the bullet so many times. How can this dilemma be avoided? By having in place a head of state and head of government that doesn't actually exist. The leadership was freed up to operate while all of the risk was attached to a phantom.

But this still doesn't answer the question why an oligarchy of Russian leaders would feel compelled to ruin their own country. Communism caused devastating social, political, and economic harm everywhere that it went. Did you know that in the 1980s, it was a standard practice in the USSR that when it started raining, everybody in traffic would have to stop and attach their windshield wipers to their cars? They had to do that because otherwise they would have ended up stolen. Human decency had been shaved down to its weakest and most primitive form. How did the Soviet leadership get away with this for so long, remain safe, and yet manage to make out so great without ever being found out or killed by an opposing faction? Well, logic and reason tells us that they needed discrete external support. So who was the quiet agent responsible for the spread of communism, the execution and starvation of tens of millions of Chinese, Russian, and Eastern European civilians, and not to mention the tens of millions of additional casualties ensued by the unnecessary war with the Axis powers, and as well as 50+ years of economic poverty and human debasement, the effects of which continue to be very strongly felt today? The answer is George W. Bush.

Upon the end of WW2, American oil companies were well aware that their business would have declined and have been stuck mostly with the civilian sector. There would no longer need to be naval fleets, tanks, mechanical support, and planes being fueled and powered, unless of course, there was an acceptable amount of tension in the world that military stationary units would have remained at relatively high levels. The solution to this was in the Soviet state, which was unstable enough that the Bush family could easily infiltrate them and set the stage for creating a corrupt government which would in time spread to additional countries and cover an enormous sum of the world population. The oligarchs in these countries would, in turn, receive discrete external support to keep do-gooders within their countries off their backs and maintain a reign of terror. The Cold War existed for almost a 50 year period where oil companies continued to make profits off of demand from the world's militaries, and one young George W. Bush made out very well from the entire episode. Of course, even the best laid plans don't last forever and the USSR did eventually collapse upon itself, but not before the Bush family had become a well-establish political family and their conniving son was set to become president in 2001, prior to that he had already enjoyed his tenure as a governor. Crazy? Maybe, but remember that there are many great ideas that once upon a time were called "crazy" and yet turned out to be right.


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Geny
Geny


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Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted January 17, 2014 09:52 PM

(( When I saw this thread, I thought 'yeah! finally something to do here!'. And then I saw bliz's post. I can't compete with that! Damn you, bliz, it's ICTC all over again!))
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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


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Undefeatable Hero
Iceskating uphill
posted January 17, 2014 09:57 PM
Edited by blizzardboy at 05:23, 18 Jan 2014.

((I won't do it over and over again. I just kind of kept typing... Once I breech the first paragraph it's hard to make myself stop. I have to do a good amount of writing.))
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mvassilev
mvassilev


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Undefeatable Hero
posted January 17, 2014 10:07 PM

((It's not the kind of contest where there's only one winner. It's like Wrong Answer, so even if you're not the best, you can still win points this round.))
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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


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Undefeatable Hero
Iceskating uphill
posted January 18, 2014 05:09 AM


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Vindicator
Vindicator


Supreme Hero
Right Back Extraordinaire
posted January 18, 2014 05:34 AM

For me, the question isn't whether Stalin is good or bad. Because really, that's morality, and morality is subjective. The real question is: where is he now? "He's dead dude, he was born 130 years ago," you'll say.

I wish I could still be as foolish as you.

...

Tell me something. Have you ever met anyone from Idaho? Have you ever seen any pictures of Idaho? Have you ever met anyone who has even set foot in Idaho? And if you answered any of those questions with yes, think about it some more. Were those people the same since they returned from "Idaho"? Are those actually pictures of Idaho, or just hundreds of maps of "Idaho" and Californian mountain ranges? What is really going on there - and, more importantly, who?

The answer is four words. Stalin. Steve. Jobs. Don't you see? The iPod, the iPhone, the iPad, all increasingly larger stepping stones leading up to Stalin's mountain fortress in the northwest of our very own country. Of course Stalin is still alive - why would he be dead? People like him don't leave without wrapping up what they started. "But then why did he stop?" you say, still not grasping the larger picture.

It's because Russians aren't suited for communism. They're greedy, vain, self-interested - a perfect society could never exist. So Stalin decided to abandon ship before it was too late, relocate, and bide his time. People would eventually change, eventually mold into the perfect clay for Stalin to build his St.Petersburg. And where would he go but to America, where it was the people who were the most important, where it was all about the Constitution and limited government and checks and balances? And what better way to finish brainwashing these sad people then with a glowing screen that saps their energy, prevents any form of conversation, and can be carried around anywhere? And what better place to test it than the isolated Idaho, with a small population to serve as guinea pigs?

Stalin is alive, and he will not wait for much longer. You have been warned.

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Geny
Geny


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What if Elvin was female?
posted January 18, 2014 09:29 AM

((Bliz, you picked that avatar just so you could make this comic with a hadouken, didn't you?))
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mvassilev
mvassilev


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Undefeatable Hero
posted January 20, 2014 04:27 AM

Topic 1:

Answers:

Ohforf - And Alexander put a stop to Persia's nuclear weapons program. Definitely the most underrated president.
2 points

Blizzardboy - I take it that means Soviet leadership had Borat pose for all the Stalin pictures? Makes a lot of sense.
3 points

Vindicator - Communication. Communism. It's not coincidence.
1 point

Scoreboard:
Blizzardboy - 3
Ohforf - 2
Vindicator - 1


Topic 2:
What is freedom?
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Geny
Geny


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Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted January 24, 2014 02:56 PM

What is freedom? To understand the concept we must first understand the word.

"Freedom" is made up of two parts: "free" which means without cost or without consequence and "dom" which is the common short version of the word "domination". So freedom is domination with no consequences. That is why terrorists are also called "freedom fighters", they attempt to dominate the population without owning up to the consequences of their actions.

Now you could say: "hold on a minute, by that definition tyranny is freedom, that makes no sense derp derp!" Ironically, that is correct. A tyrant is the man with the most freedom because he can do whatever he wants. If he takes too much liberties the people under his reign become restless and demand freedom for themselves, i.e. they want to be the next tyrant to do what he wants. And that is also why Anarchy is considered to be the highest form of freedom - because then every man is a mini-tyrant ruling over whatever is weaker than him.
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OhforfSake
OhforfSake


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posted January 24, 2014 03:13 PM

But let's not hastily forget the ultimate level of freedom achievable. That is through the benevolent dictator. Once he raises to power, he'll decide for us what freedom is, and we'll all be free, happy get the life we wants. Thank for future benevolent dictator!

Until then, freedom does actually not exist. We are all nothing but empty shells crying out for a higher purpose. We blame every restriction we meet, but even when we tear down barrier after barrier, all we find is ourselves half lying, half sitting, on a couch watching TV, depressed over our life, wanting more.. and yet we let ourselves doze into the uncomfortable world of comfortable habits while crying ourselves to sleep at night.

Therefore true freedom is basically doing what others tell you to do.

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fred79
fred79


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Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted January 24, 2014 05:08 PM
Edited by fred79 at 18:27, 24 Jan 2014.

Freedom? Freedom mean that there is nothing wrong with human beings doing whatever they want, because we are the evolutionary pinnacle of life itself. This includes tearing up our planet(which belongs to us and us alone) to get what we need from it, even if it means destroying the environment or habitat it comes from. The environment will just keep cleaning up after humans, that's it's job. I know it is ok for people to be killing each other, as it is survival of the fittest. Fat people can eat all they want, because it makes them happy, and if they are higher up on the food chain, this makes it all ok. We can also procreate all we want. And what's more, nobody has to please anyone else, and this includes laws that the community made up. Human beings are Gods, and I can prove it to you:

Do you know any animals that play chess? How about anything besides humans, that write books? Do you know of any lowly animal that contemplates the meaning of the universe and life itself? Of course you don't. And don't even get me started on plants. They are there to smoke, eat, burn, and wipe our butt with when we're out of toilet paper. And if a plant or animal gets in the way of our land? By god, we'll cut it down, or kill it. This planet belongs to US. Everything else is cannon-fodder. If it doesn't serve us, then it needs to die. Everything on this planet should bend to our will. And if it doesn't, we'll wipe it out. Why? Because we are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end of all things, and we can do whatever the **** we want. That's freedom.

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The_Polyglot
The_Polyglot


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Supreme Hero
Nuttier than squirrel poo
posted January 24, 2014 05:57 PM

Freedom is a nut. That is to say, it is a supremely powerful being, a sort-of anarcho-capitalistic communist with libertarian tendencies... Long story short, one thing the Christians got right is this: God gave Man Freedom... the deranged, egoistic nut with the Napoleon complex gave us a slightly less deranged nut with a slightly smaller Napoleon complex. And folks, that is why Freedom sucks and you would have been better off if you asked for a hard-boiled egg instead when you got the chance.
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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


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Iceskating uphill
posted January 24, 2014 06:56 PM

You shouldn't have to be asking these kind of questions on a public forum. This is the sort of information that you should have memorized if you wish to continue to be my friend.  

9th level arcane Abjuration school. The subject is freed from spells and effects that restrict its movement, including binding, entangle, grappling, imprisonment, maze, paralysis, petrification, pinning, sleep, slow, stunning, temporal stasis, and web. To free a creature from imprisonment or maze, you must know its name and background, and you must cast this spell at the spot where it was entombed or banished into the maze.

I have just informed my mother to bar you entry to the house this Friday night until such time that you can prove to me that you have a serious commitment to the adventure group. Your character has been taken hostage and transported to the plane of Pandemonium until you are able to recite the Spell Compendium + descriptions in alphabetical order.

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Stevie
Stevie


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posted January 24, 2014 06:56 PM

Geny said:
"Freedom" is made up of two parts: "free" which means without cost or without consequence and "dom" which is the common short version of the word "domination".


Following this line of thought, can you please explain the word "condom"? ((this is gonna be so interesting))

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Geny
Geny


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Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted January 24, 2014 07:18 PM

No, I can't! I'm trying to have a serious discussion about human kind and you're trying to drag me into your dirty little world!
Go die in 4chan, pervert!
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The_Polyglot
The_Polyglot


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Nuttier than squirrel poo
posted January 24, 2014 08:01 PM

((Damn, blizz nailed it again. I sure won't try again, ever ))
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