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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: Life Changes
Thread: Life Changes
Elodin
Elodin


Promising
Legendary Hero
Free Thinker
posted January 10, 2016 10:07 PM

Life Changes


One truth about life is we are in a constant state of change whether or not we wish to be.  This is natural.  We can deny the changes, struggle against the current of the changes, or we can accept the changes.

I think an obcession with clinging to the looks of one's youth is unwise. I have no compunction to mask my wrinkles or grey hair.  They are a measure of my progress through life.  However If someone wishes to botox and dye their hair I judge them not.

Through the years our relationships change as well as our looks.  We make new friends, become closer to some, and lose some along the way.  This too is the way of things. This past June my dearest friend, my wife, passed on to be with the Lord before me.  We shared many times of joy and sorrow together before her journey here ended.  

The end of my own journey lies before me as I see the changes to my mental abilities.  I am experiencing the early stages of Alzheimer's disease.  I am at times very forgetful, misplacing items many times during the course of a day.  At times I forget how to go to places that I am familiar with.  Sometimes I use incorrect words or struggle to find the words to express what I wish to say.  Yesterday for the first time I failed to recognize someone I love.  My brother.

Over the past week my children helped me finish moving into a small house beside one of my sisters as we prepare to sell my old house.  I'll trust my family to tell me when it is no longer feasible for me to live independently.

I had debated when or whether to post about my life changes since I began posting again.  After failing to recognize my brother yesterday I decided if I am to share these things now would is the time. Some days are better than others and today is a good day for me. But there is a steady mental degradation from which I can't hide.  I have come to accept this change in my life.  Medications can ease the symptoms of Alzheimer's for a short time but there is no cure.

I have faith that another change is on my horizon as well.  When I see the Lord face to face I'll be changed to be like him and be capable of knowing him as fully as I am known by him.

This too is natural and is the beginning of another journey.
____________
Revelation

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Salamandre
Salamandre


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
posted January 10, 2016 10:39 PM

I wish I had such faith (I don't) so it could give me the force to remain so serene as you do, when adversity struck. My condolences for your wife and wish you to stay strong.
____________
Era II mods and utilities

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
posted January 10, 2016 10:44 PM

That is very true- life is changing, and so we are changing, and have to accept it. No other way. Some things stay the same, even some people resist to change for a while, but the fact remains we have zero control over the things that simply happen around us, not related to the choice we make or didn't make.

I have lost family members in the last 6 years, and that changed me, whether I liked it or not, and so did other things of life.

Condolences, my friend. The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted January 10, 2016 10:54 PM

My condolences Elodin. I can not even imagine the pain of losing such a long time partner. You have your children beside you, in them, I hope what you loved about their mother will live on. Whatever our differences are, they should never stand in the way of decency in hard times. I sincerely hope you get better. And if you don't, know that you are one of a kind, and when my time comes just like all of ours does, I will remember you. I will remember you as a pain in the ass but I will certainly remember you.
____________
Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost

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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted January 10, 2016 11:26 PM

Oh man. I'm so sorry. I have a grandmother with dementia and she faces more advanced stages of these problems.

I'm sure you have many people in your life that love you dearly and they know you love them, regardless of where your mind might go. Peace.
____________
"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
posted January 11, 2016 12:10 AM

My grandfather stopped making sense a short while before he died in the hospital. I think it was because of the pain more than a possible mental illness, and old age.

Well, not going to go there. One more thing I can say is that I've appreciated your posts for as long as I was here, Elodin.

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Tsar-Ivor
Tsar-Ivor


Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
posted January 11, 2016 12:11 AM
Edited by Tsar-Ivor at 00:18, 11 Jan 2016.

Quote:
My condolences Elodin. I can not even imagine the pain of losing such a long time partner.


The relationship hasn't been severed, probably just a lapse till Elodin is finally done as well, all it means is that he had slightly more work to do than she did.

My grandfather was lamenting when we went to visit over christmas as how he's realized that all of his good friends are actually dead, he went to Hungary at least once a year, but this time around he was stumped to find he didn't have anyone to visit, had no idea how to concole him, being slowly left alone to me seems like all the lights around me being turned off one at a time except mine. That's just how I feel about it, no idea how you overcome it, doubt that you even need to, you likely have many years ahead of you, if it were me I'd sort out my business and say good bye to everyone, the last thing I want is for my death to leave a rift or a void in the stability of my family (depends on how well linked your family is, we're peasant cultred).

Anyway, glad that you posted, you have been and remain an indispensible part of this community.
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted January 11, 2016 12:15 AM
Edited by mvassilev at 00:16, 11 Jan 2016.

The jokes write themselves, but this isn't the place for them, though if you're looking for levity, maybe you'll find some in the Wastelands. My condolences, Elodin. We've disagreed a lot, but I've come to recognize that you have a good sense of life, and the world will be a worse place for not having you in it. I hope you enjoy your remaining time as much as possible, the fruits of a life well lived.

Two years ago you bade us a "Fond Farewell" before leaving for retirement. Too soon we'll bid you the same in return. You'll be missed.

I completely understand if you want to spend your remaining time with your loved ones instead of arguing on the Internet, but from posts here and there it sounds like you've lived an interesting life, and I, for one, would like to read more about it, if you are interested in posting some autobiographical details.
____________
Eccentric Opinion

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Homer171
Homer171


Promising
Supreme Hero
posted January 11, 2016 05:32 AM

That was very moving, thank you for sharing that whit us Elodin. Good to hear you are okay whit bouth of these big life changing events, tough the reality is more painful what we can read from the lines. Everything else in life is fading but the love of the Lord is eternal.

God's grace and unfailing love to you brother Elodin. Until you come complete, may He give you strength to continue.
____________
Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted January 11, 2016 06:41 AM

there aren't nearly adequate enough words to express how i feel about this, elodin. my heart goes out to you and your loved ones. i truly hope you find what you seek; and that your future goes as easy as it can on you and yours.

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JollyJoker
JollyJoker


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
posted January 11, 2016 08:12 AM

There are good changes in life and not so good, and the latter always are about loss.
I feel sorry for yours, because I know exactly how that one feels, although I was young enough at the time it happened and had the inner strength and the will to start over again.
Which doesn't seem an option for you; although I'm sure you've already thought about the fact that the passing of your beloved wife will spare her the pain to witness your slow and apparently inevitable deterioration, as meager a consolation that might be. Your faith will probably be a better one, especially in the face of the Curse of the Forgetfulness spell.

While at this time that loss will be quite horrible for you, since there are many moments of realization, that one will transfer more and more to your beloved ones, the less you'll realize it.

There is another longtime guy whom I haven't seen posting for quite some time - that's Mytical -, and since his health was in a rather fragile state about the time he last posted, I fear something bad happened to him as well.

Yup, life changes, for all of us, and it's natural indeed, but that doesn't make it less sad when it happens.

I hope, we'll see you around here for a while to come. I also hope, you'll forgive my levity when I say the religious nutcases aren't what they used to be around here.
After all, and rarely it feels so apt to quote Bob Dylan, there are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.

May your candle burn on for a while, Elodin, and it's light shine for your and your beloved ones.

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted January 11, 2016 09:47 AM

We haven't talked much but I feel for you. You have a healthy mindset for what it is to come, take care and I wish you the best.
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb

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Baronus
Baronus


Legendary Hero
posted January 11, 2016 10:14 AM

Death good man is a joy for Heaven :-)

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
posted January 11, 2016 10:28 AM

Elodin is not dead. And he takes his situation with a power and dignity and faith that I can only dream to have. Even if I never met him, he's one man that made a great impression on my life.

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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted January 11, 2016 04:18 PM
Edited by markkur at 16:20, 11 Jan 2016.

@ Elodin

Quote:
I have faith that another change is on my horizon as well. When I see the Lord face to face I'll be changed to be like him and be capable of knowing him as fully as I am known by him. This too is natural and is the beginning of another journey


I can only say that "our" thoughts and prayers are with you Brother. There is much I want to say, since you're important to me too but will share three previous writings instead. The first is not my scribbling and you will likely know it well but that matters not.

Humbly, I will add a couple of mine and please be not offended, for when I write, even when something is personal for me or mine, since Christ became my guide in life, I've never seen anything I've written as being anything less than universal. We are all connected and the changes and experiences of joy and sorrow, gain and loss are eternally
universal.

I will add something more. Continue to exercise that memory of yours as best you can; for all who age must do so no matter their health. In His name, may God bless the remaining time here and reveal this new ministry, though challenging, by some sweet way of comfort; and is evident already.

-------------------------------------------------

“I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout;
"Here she comes!"
And that is dying.”

attributed to Henry Van Dyke

---------------------------

"The Promise”

Here I stand, at death’s closed door again.
Sadness dwelling deeply in the shadows within.
The unknown lies just beyond the last look.
The mystery of a promise found in The Book.
It’s beyond my proving, yet the pledge I hold dear.
My own swansong ever creeping, draws near.
Spanning my life’s horizon, there will always be,
a moment of uncertainty, to challenge me.
But who am I to doubt the truth of Christ’s sight?
to question the glow of heaven’s eternal light?
Only a small ripple, will I leave in the water of ages.
A brief passing, that disappears in ever turning pages.
The end of things, is impossible for my eyes to see.
And right it is, for rewarding the faith in me.
I will trust in the Promise of the Son above
Believing in the Gift from the Father of Love.
Let me stand true in your sight all of my days.
For at the foot of the cross my heart lays.
At my leaving, a child will reach out to the unknown.
Trusting in His hand to take me safely home.

Markkur, 2002

-------------------------------------------

"The Months of our Life"

My Love
Remember the months of our life
as husband and wife.

Reading Fairy lays
frigid January days.

February blasted
but never lasted.

From nursery rhyme
the March of time.

Sprouting April
a growing thrill.

When lovely May
chased away grey.

And June's bouquet
bloomed sunny day.

Ever changing July
went swiftly by.

On hot August days
we trusted "The Way".

Wondrous September
you should remember.

The leaves of October
meant summer was over.

And brisk November air
for thanksgiving prayer.

Snowy December nights
with Christmas lights.

My Love
Remember the months of our life
as husband and wife.

Markkur, 2015
____________
"Do your own research"

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OmegaDestroyer
OmegaDestroyer

Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
posted January 11, 2016 04:23 PM
Edited by OmegaDestroyer at 16:33, 11 Jan 2016.

A damn shame, Elodin.  I am very sorry to hear these developments.  I cannot imagine the burdens you are dealing with but take some comfort in knowing that you have made some peace with them.  

I wish you good luck, Elodin.  You have made many interesting contributions to the community and your presence will be missed.
____________
The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down

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Baronus
Baronus


Legendary Hero
posted January 11, 2016 06:40 PM

Elodin is not death of course. But had ill  good people died and I tell about it. Its joy to heaven :-)

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Corribus
Corribus

Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
posted January 16, 2016 06:47 PM

Elodin, that's very sad to read, but thanks for sharing. Nothing much else to say, really.
____________
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg

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Stevie
Stevie


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted January 17, 2016 12:56 AM

Sad and inspiring at the same time. Stay strong and cheerful for our journey does not end here, brother. Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, and by faith in His name we are delivered from sin and death. He is our hope and our joy, and we shall serve Him and live for Him for all eternity. I hope someday we meet in Heaven, until then I'll leave you with these words from scripture: "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." - Revelations 21:4. God bless you!
____________
Guide to a Great Heroes Game
The Young Traveler

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