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| Thread: The New Axis of Evil | |
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The_Gootch
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posted March 30, 2003 07:14 PM |
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The New Axis of Evil
Got a kick out of this one.
AXIS OF EVIL WANNABES
by John Cleese
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as
Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North
Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as
having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil
.... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils . . .best at being evil.. . we're
the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President
Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you
had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have
three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia
announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing
Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally
Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not
So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About
America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of
Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really,
just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack
McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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privatehudson
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posted March 30, 2003 08:19 PM |
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Wow, all that shows is how little you yanks really know about the world's geography, culture and history.....
Mildly amusing though 
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Nebuka
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posted March 30, 2003 09:51 PM |
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...by John Cleese
Heh ph, I think you should follow your own advice you gave in "50 reasons..." thread. 
Think this is also a Joe OK.
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bort
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posted March 30, 2003 10:13 PM |
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Edited By: bort on 30 Mar 2003
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Quote:
Wow, all that shows is how little you yanks really know about the world's geography, culture and history.....
Mildly amusing though
John Cleese is a yank now?
PS. nearly wet myself laughing
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privatehudson
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posted March 31, 2003 12:11 AM |
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Nah, just that the french don't surrender all the time that's the Italians, and the Scotish don't have that many sheep, it's the welsh who are known as being fond of sheep.......
But anyway, mildly amusing even if it does show what little americans know of some countries 
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bort
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posted March 31, 2003 01:26 AM |
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I'm really confused by your statements. It was written by John Cleese. He is British. If it shows any geographical ignorance, it is British ignorance, not american.
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Laelth
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Laelth rhymes with stealth.
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posted March 31, 2003 07:27 AM |
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privatehudson
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posted March 31, 2003 10:50 AM |
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Quote:
I'm really confused by your statements. It was written by John Cleese. He is British. If it shows any geographical ignorance, it is British ignorance, not american.
Is it really written by clease though? Well whoever wrote it, it's wrong, and you accept it when it's still wrong.....
It's not like "french=surrender" isn't a common american misjudgement though.
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Laelth
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Laelth rhymes with stealth.
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posted March 31, 2003 06:07 PM |
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Sorry you got your feathers ruffled, PH. I think it's a product of your having to defend the cause of civility and justice in another thread, personally.
And of course the French can fight and have fought. Only 200 years ago they dominated Europe through their military (Napoleon), but they're also really fun to tease. So are the Germans. In fact, I remember listening to the banter at Speaker's Corner a few years ago and hearing a famous Tory heckler called "The Toad" say, "We're not worried about the Germans. They're 0-2 this century!" Teasing continental Europeans is a favorite pasttime of both the British and their children, i.e America, but, in the end, it's only teasing. Charles de Gualle famously remarked that in all the great wars of the world France would stand by America's side, but that in the meantime, she would be an irritating ally. His prophecy has, one again, proven true.
-Laelth
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peacemaker
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Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 01, 2003 12:03 AM |
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Aaaaa Haaaa!
THIS is where you've all been lurking today....
(I thought I saw the Gootch's article published in the Onion a few weeks ago. COuld it still be by John Cleese???)
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IYY
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REDACTED
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posted April 01, 2003 11:31 PM |
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I was amused by what I read in this post.
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dArGOn
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posted April 07, 2003 06:39 AM |
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Saruman
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On academic leave
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posted April 15, 2003 12:30 AM |
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Speaking of axes...
The US have an axis all their own: The Axis of Weasels (Metaphorically speaking of course).
I could say more, but I think one anti-americain comment coming from a canadian is enough chaos for one day.
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Gothmog
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posted April 15, 2003 04:13 PM |
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Quote:
The US have an axis all their own: The Axis of Weasels (Metaphorically speaking of course).
Humm, I wonder how a weasel and its lap-dog gets along.
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Daddy
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and why not.
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posted August 10, 2004 08:30 PM |
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Edited by pandora at 00:58, 12 Jan 2007.
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Quote:
Nah, just that the french don't surrender all the time that's the Italians, and the Scotish don't have that many sheep, it's the welsh who are known as being fond of sheep.......
But anyway, mildly amusing even if it does show what little americans know of some countries
That's not quite true, in scotland there are more sheep than humans
reg
Daddy
edit: bump for fun!
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Consis
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posted January 12, 2007 02:56 AM |
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Hmm . . .
*giggles* I know in my heart that Braveheart has something to do with all this!
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the_gootch
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posted January 12, 2007 05:43 AM |
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This thread?! And daddy was the one to resurrect it?
/boggle
Now classroom, gather round. Please take note of privatehudson's general tone throughout this thread.
This is what we colonials properly refer to as snootiness. No wonder my ancestors wanted to shake off the oppressive chains cast upon them by these chumps.
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pandora
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posted January 12, 2007 05:44 AM |
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I brought it back, not Daddy lol Look at the "edited by"
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MightyMage
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of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted January 12, 2007 06:51 AM |
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Iran got kicked out of the "Axis of Evil" last night..or I guess since it's quarter to one in the morning that would make it two nights ago but either way, they have agreed to join in on Presidet Bush's plan to send 20,000 more troops to Iraq since they have been acting "disagreeable". Iran is more then happy to join in on the fun.
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want to be! - OhforfSake
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Trogdor
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Words in a custom title
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posted January 12, 2007 07:43 AM |
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That was a classic.
I think the axis of evil will now be Palestine, North Korea and Zimbabwe.
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