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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: Provoking a pedophile!! Not a good idea
Thread: Provoking a pedophile!! Not a good idea This thread is 12 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 · «PREV / NEXT»
violent_flower
violent_flower


Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
posted July 24, 2006 04:36 PM
Edited by violent_flower at 16:39, 24 Jul 2006.

Quote:
This is the most ignorant reply I read from you just now.


Aculias,  *head in hands sighing*, I was referring to an immature reply that I made to LadyMeryl on the first page. I was only referring to that reply. I would never come on here and start reaming others for not agreeing with me. I think that there are constructive ways to reply and then there are replies that are just slammed onto the screen out of anger, this was one of those replies. I was trying to correct myself and apologize to Val for having to concern him with the way I was acting. So please go back and referrer to that post so that you understand what I was trying to say.

So the “stooping low” comment that you made is really not appropriate. I don’t feel that I have belittled anyone’s opinions in this matter nor said anything that was not merited except in the reply that I referred to above.

This is a heated argument and I what I was doing was putting a subject matter out there that has merit and substance so that we could discuss it. I know now that I guess it just depends on the maturity level of the audience as whether or not we can discuss it and learn from one another. Thanks for your input. Oh and by the way as far as being the most “ignorant comment” that I have made, gees someone woke up on the wrong side of the prison bed yesterday, are we a bit sore hun???Little joke there, come on that is funny ****.  

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ruby
ruby


Promising
Known Hero
crazed swede
posted July 24, 2006 05:00 PM

Quote:
i do consider it to be pedophillia. frick. considering the legal "sex-age" here is 16, and over 18 tends to be considered young adults. Not only is it sad for the girl, but that guy must be pretty desprite sinking to that level


Agreed.
I don't understand how the guy thinks at that level to begin with.
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The Darker the Sky--
   The Brighter the Stars-

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violent_flower
violent_flower


Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
posted July 24, 2006 05:05 PM
Edited by violent_flower at 17:15, 24 Jul 2006.

Quote:
That depresses me so. It makes me want to sit down and cry...just thinking of the hopelessness that's going on with our kids, it still blows my mind. What makes a little girl want to do that?
I read in the newspaper about 18-21 year olds that are charged for raping and sexually abusing girls under her age. Now that just pisses me off, you have no idea. But then...you look at the pictures and the arguments that they had about the girls. You look at what they were wearing and what image they were trying to portray...

And you think...it almost looked as if she wanted it. It looks as if she were begging for it. That doesn't make it right of course, but if those girls hadn't led them on...what then?

It just depresses me to think about...


Makes me sad too.  

This is what I was referring to in my original post. So these girls, not deserving of violence or rape, have put themselves in these positions. They can appear to look and act much older. So when it comes to parenting them, I know that they can get clothes from their friends and do things behind their parent’s backs, but what about the parents that allow their children to just act sexual and play dress up with hooker clothes. Do they not have some responsibility to at least guide them in the correct direction? I feel that I have a responsibility to act when my daughter is on the phone (hypothetically) and I hear them discussing oral sex that they just had in the back seat of my car last night. Even though the act it self may still continue, at least we can step back as a parent and hope that we have been paramount in doing our best. Teach them that there are consequences to everything that they do in life. So the parents that just allow them to act this way and blow it off as typical teenage behavior or expressing themselves through snowtish acts of random sex with multiple partners, those parents piss me off. I have a neighbor that raises three grandchildren that her daughter had back to back. Now the mother of the children runs around all night long with guys hoping not to slip on the sidewalk of sin and has some random guy fall on her and knock her up. To the grandma that snowes about this I say, “Have your daughter take some responsibility for her own actions.”        
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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted July 24, 2006 08:05 PM

Sorry Violet but the way you were talking before & not used to the disagreements on here.
I assumed too much & assumed you were talking to those who disagreed with you.
I thought the comment Meryl made was forgotten days ago.
I wish you would of said a comment because the way you put it didnt sound like just one reply.
I apologise.

Yea I remember exactly who you are Ruby when you first came here.
Enough said.



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ruby
ruby


Promising
Known Hero
crazed swede
posted July 24, 2006 11:12 PM

Quote:
Quote:
That depresses me so. It makes me want to sit down and cry...just thinking of the hopelessness that's going on with our kids, it still blows my mind. What makes a little girl want to do that?
I read in the newspaper about 18-21 year olds that are charged for raping and sexually abusing girls under her age. Now that just pisses me off, you have no idea. But then...you look at the pictures and the arguments that they had about the girls. You look at what they were wearing and what image they were trying to portray...

And you think...it almost looked as if she wanted it. It looks as if she were begging for it. That doesn't make it right of course, but if those girls hadn't led them on...what then?

It just depresses me to think about...


Makes me sad too.  

This is what I was referring to in my original post. So these girls, not deserving of violence or rape, have put themselves in these positions. They can appear to look and act much older. So when it comes to parenting them, I know that they can get clothes from their friends and do things behind their parent’s backs, but what about the parents that allow their children to just act sexual and play dress up with hooker clothes. Do they not have some responsibility to at least guide them in the correct direction? I feel that I have a responsibility to act when my daughter is on the phone (hypothetically) and I hear them discussing oral sex that they just had in the back seat of my car last night. Even though the act it self may still continue, at least we can step back as a parent and hope that we have been paramount in doing our best. Teach them that there are consequences to everything that they do in life. So the parents that just allow them to act this way and blow it off as typical teenage behavior or expressing themselves through snowtish acts of random sex with multiple partners, those parents piss me off. I have a neighbor that raises three grandchildren that her daughter had back to back. Now the mother of the children runs around all night long with guys hoping not to slip on the sidewalk of sin and has some random guy fall on her and knock her up. To the grandma that snowes about this I say, “Have your daughter take some responsibility for her own actions.”        


I agree with you fully.
I have friends who speak to me about how badly they want sex and about all the close calls and just how desperate they are. Mind you, the first time the subject came up, my friend was only 13. I have had a bad experience with men as a child, and I don't really want to get that story all juggled in with this, but I knew that what she really wanted wasn't sex, but someone that could care for her in a way that no one did. Her mother was mentally abusive while her step father was physically abusive. There was no love in her home. She had three older brothers and two younger ones, that also used and hurt her in one way or another.
That is also a problem. Not just ignorance of parents, but the dark, brooding drama that occurs within the house. Some of these girls (and boys) would do anything to just have someone hug them and adore them. And they looked for answers through the sexual, the worst way for a 13 year old, in my opinion, to find any emotional love.

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted July 25, 2006 02:07 AM

It usually works in two ways.
First you want sex all the time because your confused & you think thats what love is.

Second is you dont want sex at all.
Good to have supporters who believe you were raped when you are a child so they can help you with counsiling & help you.
If they take it as a joke or get mad because they think your making up a story, then that dont help you at all & it makes you feel more sorry.

For those who hear about a youngin who been abused.
Take it serious & get them help while you can.
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the_gootch
the_gootch


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
posted July 25, 2006 03:37 AM
Edited by the_gootch at 03:58, 25 Jul 2006.

It's been too long since I've gotten my hands dirty

I feel like a kid in a candy store right now because of how inspired some of these posts have made me.

Let's start with old school HC, shall we?

Acu, you wrote,

Quote:

Gootch is talking about his own nieghborhood & it's not all in our head.
It's a fact.
You can live in a ghetto area or a gang related area.
Racist & prejudice all around us.
These days I can see why to an extent why kids are more extra careful.

It's not in our heads, it's a real fact.
It's alot worst then it was when Gootch & i were kids.
alot of pressures & rap & gang relations making thier music known.
Weapons, it's there.


What about my neighborhood and Iris?  What does one have to do with the other?  And how did you so completely misunderstand what I wrote and drew from it the EXACT opposite of what I was driving at?

The city I live in today is a far less violent place than it was when I was growing up.  Period.  We came of age when crack was destroying neighborhoods.  We came of age when the low education and high paying, manufacturing jobs disappeared by the thousands(Nowadays we have service sector jobs that pay a pittance and cause those who get them to forever spin their wheels trying to make ends meet.  But hey, some employment's better than no employment.  Right?).  I came of age with kids whose parents had been battered by some type of war, be it 'Nam, the Cambodian civil war, Iraq/Iran, Russian Commiefying,  etc.  And man were these kids mean as hell.  

You also wrote:  

Quote:
There is no right & wrong way of parenting.


There are those of us who've experienced the cruelty and vagaries of adults that would beg to differ.  

And let me tell you, women who breast feed vs. women who don't breast feed is sheer entertainment.

Let's have a little class with reading comprehension, hmm?  Let me help you out by making the REALLY important parts in bold.  

Quote:
First off I would like to apologize for lowering myself to an argument earlier in regards to this sensitive subject matter.


Note the use of the word 'an'.  This usually delineates singular usage.

Quote:
I allowed someone to push buttons that really should have not been exposed in the first place.


Now, is it really that much of a stretch to think that violent_flower had actually singled someone out?

Now of course your apology is a real hoot.

Quote:
I wish you would of said a comment because the way you put it didnt sound like just one reply.


*snork*

Iris,

Quote:
And what I meant was that I think controlling parents are too overbearing because mine were like that.


Thank you for qualifying that, not that it was necessary.  I hope you'll be gracious enough to give Russ some lessons.  By the time we're 24, we're supposed to have lost the 'young enough to know everything' tag that gets stapled to our bodies at the age of nine or so.

To counter what you said, I was given freedom.  Actually my older sister was so wild(not for a lack of discipline) that after the state took custody of her my parents were too fearful of being overly strict with me.  Overly strict is of course completely subjective here.  

A small part of me has over the years entertained the thought that if my parents had only been a bit stricter, a bit more over protective, a bit more controlling, I'd be much further along in life.  It's a very small part and I never, ever advertise it because saying it out loud(much less writing it) just demonstrates how absurd it is.  The fact is I made choices as a young adult(teenager) that I ultimately am accountable and am paying the price for to this day.  And no amount of fantasizing about whether or not June and Ward Cleaver had been my real parents is going to change that.

I think it's safe to say that children have no rights.  But adolescents are a far thornier issue.  Kids need to be able to transition into adulthood and parents need to provide at least a modicum of safety.  There are so many schools of thought when it comes to parenting and figuring out when to give, when to fight, and even what issues to fight about.  Many of them are equally valid.  Ultimately, we want our children happy and able to make sound choices for themselves.

Yes, this is the kind of ambiguity that I despise.  So here goes.  I only need to look as far as my own father as an authority figure.  He has expressed to me some of his assumptions as follows:

1.  Kids are going to experiment with sex.

2.  Kids are going to experiment with drugs.

"What am I going to do son?" he'd ask me.  "Do I say 'no' and make it twice as good when my children do these things?  I mean, not only do they get to enjoy those activities but they also get to say, '**** you dad' when they do it?"

So what did he do?  He told my younger sister that if she ever needed to be picked up--anywhere and regardless of the time--he'd come and pick her up no questions asked.  And he put his money where his mouth was.  To this day he has a terrific relationship with my sister, who is very much alive, well, and flourishing in her senior year at Oberlin.  

Val wrote:

Quote:
And around attractive women in an uncontrollable feeling that my opinions are not interesting, what I'm capable of is inferior, and in terms of conversation I'm a waste of time


Now, is there any truth to the rumor that you created a secret forum  for all the ladies of HC so you could have zomg hot cyborz! action away from the prying eyes of everyone else here?  

So, is it true that Val's Hot Hookah Cafe really exists?  And is it true that one of the unadvertised features of getting twenty qps here results in a dude getting the link and the password to said forum?

As for 2extreme and Dragon_Slayer I'm surprised at how quick you two are to invoke that nasty little word.  Seriously, wtf is wrong with the youth of today?  It's the 21st freaking century and you're supposed to be freaking enlightened.  You have a prime opportunity to shed the dead weight of our past and no longer look at women your age who enjoy sex negatively.  Let's take a look at how brilliantly stupid young men can be.  Pay attention you two.

Young man:  C'mon baby.  We've been going for months now.  You know all I want to do is make you feel good.

Young lady:  I don't like feeling pressured.  How do I know you're going to respect me in the morning if we ever did that?

Young man:  Baby, I love you.  You know I'll respect you in the morning.  I really, truly think you're the one and I'm ready to take it to the next level.  It hurts me to see that you aren't.  I mean, you DO love me, don't you?

Young lady:  I do.  I really do.  I just, you know, would like for my first time to be really special and to be with the one person I'm going to be with for the rest of my life.

Young man(thinking to himself):  Special, eh?
[two weeks pass, in a dingy hotel room with a half dead rose's petals strewn across the bed].

Young lady(cuddling up next to her beau):  Oh baby.  That was wonderful!  Thank you so much for last night.  You really did make it special and meaningful.  I love you.  (Kisses him).

Young man(sliding out of bed):  **** you, you b****.  You snow!  You snow!  I mean seriously.  Did you think I actually meant all that bull**** I told you when I was trying to get into your pants?!  And seeing how it was so easy to get there how could I ever be sure you wouldn't do the same with some other dude when I wasn't looking.  **** you! (runs off to tell the school that his ex-girlfriend screwed the football team).

And we wonder why young girls engage in self-mutilation.

Anyway, good topic.  There's more I want to touch upon but it'll just have to wait.


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2XtremeToTake
2XtremeToTake


Promising
Supreme Hero
posted July 25, 2006 04:19 AM

Quote:
As for 2extreme and Dragon_Slayer I'm surprised at how quick you two are to invoke that nasty little word. Seriously, wtf is wrong with the youth of today? It's the 21st freaking century and you're supposed to be freaking enlightened. You have a prime opportunity to shed the dead weight of our past and no longer look at women your age who enjoy sex negatively. Let's take a look at how brilliantly stupid young men can be. Pay attention you two.

Young man: C'mon baby. We've been going for months now. You know all I want to do is make you feel good.

Young lady: I don't like feeling pressured. How do I know you're going to respect me in the morning if we ever did that?

Young man: Baby, I love you. You know I'll respect you in the morning. I really, truly think you're the one and I'm ready to take it to the next level. It hurts me to see that you aren't. I mean, you DO love me, don't you?

Young lady: I do. I really do. I just, you know, would like for my first time to be really special and to be with the one person I'm going to be with for the rest of my life.

Young man(thinking to himself): Special, eh?
[two weeks pass, in a dingy hotel room with a half dead rose's petals strewn across the bed].

Young lady(cuddling up next to her beau): Oh baby. That was wonderful! Thank you so much for last night. You really did make it special and meaningful. I love you. (Kisses him).

Young man(sliding out of bed): **** you, you b****. You snow! You snow! I mean seriously. Did you think I actually meant all that bull**** I told you when I was trying to get into your pants?! And seeing how it was so easy to get there how could I ever be sure you wouldn't do the same with some other dude when I wasn't looking. **** you! (runs off to tell the school that his ex-girlfriend screwed the football team).

And we wonder why young girls engage in self-mutilation.

Anyway, good topic. There's more I want to touch upon but it'll just have to wait.



I don't think you understood the point of what we were saying.

We were talking about the girls who openly admit that they have sex with just about every guy that walks. The ones who openly brag about the **** they sucked the night before. Not the ones that are 'rumored' to have done it. No one really believes the rumors spread around my school anyways.

Besides if someone says a girl slept with the entire football team, I'd be pissed cause I'm part of the team and I missed out! ..Just kidding.

Its perfectly acceptable in my social circle for a girl to have sex with her boyfriend after going steady for several months. What isn't okay is the girls who sleep with everyone, regardless
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the_gootch
the_gootch


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
posted July 25, 2006 04:28 AM

Quote:
I don't think you understood the point of what we were saying.


Oh?  Maybe you're right.  Let's read on.

Quote:
What isn't okay is the girls who sleep with everyone, regardless


Whoops!  I think I understood you very well.  

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2XtremeToTake
2XtremeToTake


Promising
Supreme Hero
posted July 25, 2006 05:49 AM

No, you didn't understand me at all. Your scenario has nothing to do with what I'm saying.
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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted July 25, 2006 06:47 AM

Sorry Gootch I will be more careful.
Sorry Violet I was wrong.

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted July 25, 2006 10:50 AM
Edited by kookastar at 10:53, 25 Jul 2006.

Wow this thread has really moved in another direction
BTW this is not a question aimed at parents - of course you don't want your daughters having sex...  Nor is it addressing pedophilia.

So,
1. Is it OK for a 14 yo girl to have sex with a 14 yo boy if they have been 'going out' for a period of time.
{in other words is it the age difference that is the main issue you have with 14 yos having sex.}

What age is the right age? 16 because the law says so?

2.Is it OK for a teenage boy to have sex with a more than one girl in say a fortnight?

3. Why are girls who enjoy having sex and are not ashamed of it 'snows'.  Are the guys too?

4. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with a sexually experienced girl - is it the lack of the chace, or your own insecurities?

Sex is a natural instinct in all of us, teenagers need to be taught how to make responsible choices and how to deal with the practicalities of these urges.  

I still think consensual {protected} sex is far less dangerous than the violence and drug use that teenagers engage in.  Violence is everywhere in the media - news etc,it is even considered sport, yet sex is still thought of as something dirty.  Something that girls/women in particular should be protected from and only given to a guy when that guy is you

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Vlaad
Vlaad


Admirable
Legendary Hero
ghost of the past
posted July 25, 2006 11:30 AM

"I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex."
--Jack Handey
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DarkTitan
DarkTitan


Promising
Famous Hero
posted July 25, 2006 01:01 PM

Quote:


3. Why are girls who enjoy having sex and are not ashamed of it 'snows'.  Are the guys too?



haha sorry for singling out just one question, but this made me think of an argument i had with a friend of mine (who happens to be a gurl)..

If a girl has sex, or hints at having sex, or makes first moves etc she is immediately labelled a snow. I know many girls like this lol many of whom im quite good frends with. These girls alwayz get mocked, most guys choosing to 'use and abuse'. I have no real conscience for this, as i feel if a girl wants no strings attached sex, then thats her choice. However its hard to have relationships with these girls, as you are immediately labelled as only taking advantage of her fondness of sex. Thats all people look at. If a girl is a snow, and they are the terms used, she will recieve alot of critisism, especially from girls who choose to respect their bodies lol.

However guys can screw whoever they want, as often as they want, and there is basically no tags attached. only recently have i heard boys being called man snows, or pigs, lol i have a cousin who fits this description well. Bt the main point is boys dont recieve the same sort of attention when they choose to have as much sex as possible. We shake hands for a job well done, where as girls are given 'daggers' and labelled for life.

Why is this so? is it because a guy just sticks it in the pulls it out where as a gurl can be impregnated, and also other consequences im not sure i can mention.. I dont see sex as that important. I am a boy, and i do lyk doing it. Im only 17, altho very close to the 18 mark. My frend was arguing with me because she didnt think it was right. I dont see any problem with it, bt i refuse to allow ma gurl cuzins to do it lol.. Maybe im shovernistic, bt i think that there are different rules for gurls and boys.
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friendofgunnar
friendofgunnar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
posted July 25, 2006 01:09 PM

Good points all, Kookastar!
I think teenagers should have sex as early and as often as possible (AFTER PUBERTY).  With one caveat.  I'd only give my kids free rein if I felt they were responsible enough not to make babies and spread diseases.  If I felt they were dinghy or flaky I can easily see myself keeping an eye on them 24 hours a day until they were 18..

Also: no double standards please. Girls should be able to do it as much as they please and guys should be able to do as much as the girls please also.

I do have a problem with 19 olds and 13 olds for the simple reason that if a 19 is getting it on with a 13 year old it's a pretty safe bet he is a loser.  I can totally see myself enforcing some type of "two year" rule if I was a parent.  Also I totally agree with Kookastar that it's not sex that wrecks young women it's older loser types that provide access to alcohol and drugs.  If I was a parent I can also totally see myself being draconian in regards to contact to all three. (losers, alcohol, drugs)

Have you had enough of my opinions?  Well there's more!

Every "loose" chick I've ever met (several btw) has had self-esteem problems.  In almost every case it was because they were missing a male presence in their home (and in the most extreme cases they were abused when they were younger) .   You can almost smell it, the low self-esteem.  This is the origin of the "snow" epithet that some girls have to wear.  Is that fair? I don't know, I've never *cough* ostracized a loose chick, and I can't really speak for the women.

In closing I'd like to quote Prince.

Sex is natural, sex is good.
Not everybody does it, but everybody should.

P.S.:I'm not a parent, all opinions are subject to change.  I will be coming back in 15 years to update this post.

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friendofgunnar
friendofgunnar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
posted July 25, 2006 01:37 PM

Quote:
I hope by loose here you are meaning morally right?


oops, I think "loose" might be a derogatory term

anyway it was a slang word from where I came from referring to a chick that was an easy lay.  The loose referred to the part of the

to the

it referred to "not being tight"
do you know what I mean?


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Frick
Frick


Known Hero
and eternal n00b.
posted July 25, 2006 02:57 PM

Quote:
It's the 21st freaking century and you're supposed to be freaking enlightened.



I'm just curious.. How do you define "enlightened"? It's kinda OT, but still..
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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted July 25, 2006 03:10 PM

Well . . .

I have two daughters and at this point, from what posts I've read thus far in this thread, I would say that The_Gootch is the closest to making real sense out of this discussion. I've spoken with Pandora and Violent_Flower on IM prior to this thread but we haven't really gotten into a debate like this before.

Violent_Flower,
We're both parents. From one to another . . . you and I should sit down and have a drink (make that 3 drinks) over a quiet lunch. I think you worry too much.

Angelito,
Just keep hogging all the computers for yourself and that should keep any children in your house off of them.

The_Gootch,
Keepin it real homey. Preach on brother!
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violent_flower
violent_flower


Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
posted July 25, 2006 03:40 PM


Quote:
Violent_Flower,
We're both parents. From one to another . . . you and I should sit down and have a drink (make that 3 drinks) over a quiet lunch. I think you worry too much.

Ok so what part of my outlook on parenting sounds so overbearing or unwarranted? My children have freedom, love and a general understanding of consequences. I wanted people to reply to parents holding some responsibility for their children’s mishaps when they allow them to just run wild. I don’t have any problems with my children. I have no behavioral issues, no discipline issues, and no drugs, sex or violence problems. So in light of all that I just said, what the HELL is everyone’s problem. I was not asking for parenting advice. I wanted you to tell me, when do you feel that parents should be morally and legally responsible for their children’s behavior?  At what point should a parents have to say maybe it was my lack of parental supervision that helped this movement of misbehavior along. At what point will the legal system say, “What the **** were you doing in some guys dorm drunk with your pants down? Make them own what they have done to provoke and lead these high school and college boys along. It is just apparent that crying wolf seems to work. I know that there are cases where this **** happens and it was not provoked. It is still no excuse for someone to do this but come the **** on. Please give me some feed back on that!!!!!!!!!  
So Consis I respect your opinion and thank you for the invitation to go get our drink on however I don’t feel that my opinion differs that much from yours. As a matter of fact Gootch and I have the same ideas when it comes to parenting. I will however take you up on those drinks at sometime…Oh make that six drinks, one for each monster...




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Iris
Iris


Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
posted July 25, 2006 03:49 PM

violent_flower,

Don't take things so personally.  Not all comments are directed at you.  A lot of them are just kids and other parents voicing their opinion on the topic.  A lot of times, words on paper can be interpreted differently from what they were originally intended to mean.  The topic seems to have shifted quite a bit, but that's okay.  We're just here for a nice little discussion.  Or debate.  Whatever.  
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