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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted March 22, 2013 08:51 PM |
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Well, relationships are like fingerprints, each one is aboriginal in itself so there's no point in guessing this or that will happen or claiming if people really love each other they wont do it. On the other hand, jealousy is not something that society made up, there is a biological side to it, even dogs get jealous. You can say I am above all that but we are never just our intellect and that animal part of us remains within. So what you're going for is hard to say the least. I tried it in my early twenties (not with a girl I was in love with though)and the result was a mess. Hope you don't **** up a good relationship beyond repair and I wish you well.
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted March 22, 2013 08:53 PM |
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I don't understand how great in bed 
The same as Heroes
Brainer?
All do bed an average of 300 day!
Pro! But need 10 year if others brain world
But chat guy..
Wrong your choice!
Because best find it for one night
Not love
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 09:26 PM |
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Anthropology says you're wrong.
Anyway, I don't see your problems. Mvass isn't trying to sell what he's doing as the right thing to do for all the world. Instead he kindly informs us about developments in his relationship. You may not agree with him, but this is definitely NOT a question of right or wrong. It's HIM, and if he's happy with that, I'm happy for him.
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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted March 22, 2013 09:32 PM |
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Nobody says that he's wrong (or right). I however don't buy this "open relationship" thing, except if the two partners agree that they are together just to have fun and nothing too serious should be expected. For better or worse, "real" relationships are far more than just having fun.
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted March 22, 2013 09:56 PM |
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Quote:
Anthropology says you're wrong.
If you're talking about polygamy that's totally something else. In those societies marriage isn't based on romance. In most situations men own women (in some they offer them to guests for example, women can't do that of course) The romantic love we all are talking about is a very different and new concept, it doesn't even go back to medieval ages.
And to repeat Zenofex, no one's judging or talking about right or wrong. I just think it's hard, partly from my own experience. Yet, everyone is different and there are no certain rules to this.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted March 22, 2013 10:01 PM |
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Translation: she does not love him enough but did not yet found better (when she will, bye-bye), thus the original idea of open relationship arise to give a bit of "on paper" consistency to what will end sooner or later anyway (by open it simply means she is in hunter mode for better).
Women never share, unless it is not worth much. Sorry for being crude, already been there.
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Era II mods and utilities
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 10:13 PM |
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Quote:
If you're talking about polygamy
No, I don't.  There are societies that work differently.
And screw the negativity of the rest of you. I've been there as well, and it's been totally worth it. You walk on thin ice anyway, and you cannot hold things tight in life. They have their own idea of when to spin out of your control.
Anyway. Mvass, don't let people get under your skin with their negativity. It's all in your hands.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 10:39 PM |
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Regarding the value of the unique bond - suppose you have a loaf of bread. It's the only loaf of bread in the world. You intend to eat it, so it has a certain value to you. Now suppose your neighbor also has a loaf of bread. Does him having it diminish the value to you of what you have? I don't see why it would. The same is true for sex in our case. Doing things with others will not cause us to value each other any less. Because sex isn't about what is called "just sex", but about expressing affection towards someone to whom you're emotionally close. No matter whom she has sex with, the affection she has for me can only be expressed by being with me. For us, other people are not substitutes for each other.Quote:
So I'm assuming that just because you can have sex with other men/women/both/transsexuals /corpses/creatures, you aren't actually planning on either of you doing so, right?
We plan on doing so if the situation arises (though of course we'll talk to each other about any particular person before doing anything with them). Though no situation actually involving sex has happened yet, it may eventually, and already she has done some more minor things with a mutual friend. I have no objection to it.
Regarding the STD problem, we're only going to sex with people we know well, and we'll make sure they're clean. So that's not an issue.
I don't see why an open relationship and a serious relationship are mutually exclusive. We love each other and aren't looking for a replacement. I know such trust may seem strange to cynical people, but I understand her and have good reason to trust her.
Thanks for your kind words, JJ. I'm used to saying unpopular things. 
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Eccentric Opinion
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Seraphim
Supreme Hero
Knowledge Reaper
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posted March 22, 2013 10:59 PM |
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Edited by Seraphim at 23:01, 22 Mar 2013.
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Well, good for you mwass.
Just remember that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
The things you are saying are so out of what I have heard and partly experienced, that it sounds to me like you both are some sort of people with a mentality I can not comprehend.
Not trying to be negative here, just hope that your relationship continues well and we continue to hear positive stuff from you.
You would be the first guy that I know, even if it is through the internet, that managed to pull this off. By that I mean a successful "Weird" relationship.
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"Science is not fun without cyanide"
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted March 22, 2013 11:37 PM |
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Quote:
Regarding the value of the unique bond - suppose you have a loaf of bread.
Way to objectify women, mvass. No wonder your girl wants to shop around.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 22, 2013 11:57 PM |
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^
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lol
Mvass are you still on track to get married? Do you forsee this continuing into the marriage?
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 23, 2013 12:29 AM |
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Not getting married anytime soon - we're still too young for that. But yes, we are on track to getting married in a few years. And if we're comfortable with this now, I don't see why this shouldn't continue into marriage. We've talked about it, and we're both fine with continuing our open relationship when we're married.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Minion
Legendary Hero
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posted March 23, 2013 02:29 AM |
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But that is not a serious marriage then /sarcasm
Yeah people never understand that relationships come almost in as many forms as there are people. It is so easy to judge when things in someone elses relationship aren't exactly like they are in theirs. Nothing new there...
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"These friends probably started using condoms after having produced the most optimum amount of offsprings. Kudos to them for showing at least some restraint" - Tsar-ivor
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fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 23, 2013 03:28 AM |
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Quote:
I however don't buy this "open relationship" thing, except if the two partners agree that they are together just to have fun and nothing too serious should be expected. For better or worse, "real" relationships are far more than just having fun.
I think it's weird to call some relationships "serious", because we should consider all relationships seriously. in every case you are dealing with a human being with feelings who may get hurt by what you do.
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 23, 2013 07:10 AM |
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Okay, I think I figured this out. I admit that I was just as baffled by this as anyone else in this thread but I think I know what's going on.
So this is my theory. There's a mutual friend of both Mvass and his gf who can't get laid. He's in his early twenties which means that this is actually somewhat of a crisis that is causing severe emotional stress. Mvass's girlfriend, seeing her friend in such a state, makes a comment to the effect of "I wish I could help him out."
Mvass, being the cooly rational person that he is, realizes that sexual jealousy is merely a relic from the pre-latex era when people had sex to have babies. He also knows that he is way cooler than his desperate friend so he does not feel threatened by him at all. So he says "sure go for it".
Now, we've already established in previous posts that Mvass's girlfriend is as devoid of emotion as cooly rational as he is. She also knows that Mvass is cooly rational and between them there is born a zero state logical resonance whereupon pity sex is a perfectly acceptable. And just like that their relationship is open - though not yet consumated. Errr, I mean anti-consumated.
Am I right?
you don't have to answer
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 23, 2013 10:15 AM |
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The part about us being coolly rational is right, the rest less so. It went more like this. I was thinking about what I would object to my girlfriend doing with other guys. "Would I object to her talking to a male friend one–on-one? No, of course not. What if she spends a lot of time with another guy and is emotionally close to him? Sure, that's fine as long as I'm getting enough time and emotional closeness with her, but that's no different from if the friend were female. What if she slept over in another guy's bed? I have no problem with that, there's nothing there that I can object to that isn't there in the case of a friend with whom she's spending a lot of time. What if she and the friend are naked? Still no problem, as long as it's a friend she trusts. What if she kissed him? That's an expression of closeness and affection, I don't see why not. And what if she had sex with him? Well... What could my objection be? We would have the necessary precondition that she shouldn't do anything that would make her less close to me. And it's not like she'd get STDs or pregnant. I have no objections, so it's fine. Besides, if she were close enough to a friend that having sex with him/her would make her happy, and that would make me happy by extension." I imagined her having sex with a few of our male friends and her enjoying it, and confirmed that it would indeed make me happy. I imagined her coming to me and telling me, "I had sex with so-and-so, and I enjoyed it" and my automatic reaction was to think, "Good, I'm glad you enjoyed it" and hugging her. It would be nice to be able to express affection towards female friends to whom I feel close and find attractive, should any want to.
So I talked to her about it, and she feels the same way. (To depart from chronological storytelling somewhat, my thoughts were initially caused by her telling me that she's fine with me having sex with other girls.) So then our relationship became open. We started telling our friends, some of whom reacted with approval, some with neutrality, and some with statements like, "You can't possibly actually want that." But we managed to convince our skeptical friends that it is actually what we want. Then one of our friends expressed interest to her, so she asked me if I was fine with it. I said that I am, as long as she doesn't do anything that causes her to lose interest in me, and she didn't do anything that she doesn't feel comfortable doing. She agreed, and started doing some things (though not sex, at least not yet) with the friend, who is, by the way, not a virgin. However, he did feel somewhat lonely, as he had recently broken up with his girlfriend, so you got that at least somewhat right. But none of this is out of pity.
So that's how we got to where we are.
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Eccentric Opinion
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master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
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posted March 23, 2013 10:46 AM |
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Do you have a clear definition of what the situation looks like when she loses interest in you or becoming less close to you?
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"I heard the latest HD version disables playing Heroes. Please reconsider."-Salamandre
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Elvin 
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted March 23, 2013 11:05 AM |
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Edited by Elvin at 11:21, 23 Mar 2013.
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Oh get off his back guys Some things are normally bad news for the average couple but Mvass and his girl aren't exactly mainstream. They know best what works for them or they think they do.. does it even matter?
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 23, 2013 11:41 AM |
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Quote:
Do you have a clear definition of what the situation looks like when she loses interest in you or becoming less close to you?
It's hard to describe what it would look like, but I'd definitely know it if I saw it.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted March 23, 2013 11:51 AM |
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Edited by Zenofex at 11:51, 23 Mar 2013.
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Quote:
Oh get off his back guys Some things are normally bad news for the average couple but Mvass and his girl aren't exactly mainstream. They know best what works for them or they think they do.. does it even matter?
Well, what's the point of the Internet exhibitionism if it's not rewarded with comments? On the other hand, nobody really cares about mvass' love life, it just happened to trigger a general "discussion".
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