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| Thread: Lex resurfaces to rank the Civilization 4 Leaders |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 12:11 AM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 15:39, 13 Sep 2010.
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Lex resurfaces to rank the Civilization 4 Leaders
Oh yes, I am.
Amidst the excitement between the release of H6 (Oh yes, I AM watching you ~ Know this!) and the premiere of Survivor: Nicaragua, people seem to have forgotten about the (undoubtably) Epic Gem called CIVILIZATION 5 which is about to be released as well. In a couple of months, it's Game Eden Again (Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!)^_^
So to celebrate this (Criminally undercelebrated) Occasion, I'm ranking the Civ 4 Leaders. I've started this ranking in another Forum, but I figure I should go back to my ~ROOTS~ (Fyi... that's this place) and not neglect my old Cyberpals.
Yeah, it's a pleasure seeing you all again, don't worry. (Pre-emptive Slapping for the first 50.000 who say "WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?? :lolretard:")
So ~WATCH THIS SPACE~
Civilization Leaders:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
39.
40.
41.
42.
43.
44.
45.
46.
47.
48.
49.
50. GENGHIS C-WORD (Aggressive Imperialistic)
51. SHAKAKA BOOHOO (Aggressive, Expansive)
52. PSYCHOZUMA (Spiritual, Aggressive)
Note: is this Tarvern Material? I know it's about Games, but it's also light-hearted fun, so idk. Feel free to move it, if you want it.
Note 2: You might not want to browse any Survivor Forums I post on (I know, chances are like 0.000000000000016%, but it's still a chance, amirite?)... you might get spoiled -__-
Note 3: Yes, Darks, you can bash my noobishness ^__^
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 12:24 AM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 00:27, 13 Sep 2010.
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And without Further ado, here's the dead last snow...
~52~
MONTEZUMA
OMFG DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH, PLZ?
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PSYCHOZUMA
Everyone who has EVER played Civ 4 before, will know why Monty is dead last. For those who don't lemme explain to you why this...�~creature~ is the worst part of this game.
To everything good, sunny and joyous there's always something that completely poops your party and simply sucks anything enjoyable from whatever you're doing/seeing/whatever. In Survivor, you have KREECHERS like Russell or Denise or Corinne. In Big Brother you have Ragan and Ronnie. In TAR, you have Luke and Margie, Caite, the Cops, the Lesb*tches and many other ******* (feel free to fill in ^_^). All B@stards with no SHOT at winning, yet a constant thorn in your side because they JUST.DON'T.DIE. In Civilization, you have Montezuma as the token Annoyance.
Montezuma is a complete and utter B@stard in this game, to the point you literally want to kick him in the balls whenever you hear his diplo music. He's a complete, trigger-happy lunatic and a Professional Piece o' Work. Monty usually spends his game attacking you at the utmost inconveniet moments. repeatedly. To no end. Without reason. And while Warfare is fun in this game, it is Very, VERY annoying to suddenly have to fight off a Swarm of Jaguar Warriors that pilage your lands. It totes slows down any progress you make and it's so frustrating and irritating. Montezuma is an absolute master at this, and is probably the only leader who will Attack you MULTIPLE times per game, even at times you're clearly stronger than him. He's a constant thorn in your side, to the extent you actually moan out loud when you meet him on the map. If he's your direct neighbour, you're toast btw. He'll attack you as soon as he can build Jaguar Warriors, which, granted, is VERY Soon.
UGH, It's just vile and unpleasant to have him around really. Worst part is: his armies are So MF'ing HUGE, it's nearly�impossible to take him early, so sooner of later he WILL attack you (even if you are on the other side of the planet, alol) with usually disastrous economic backlashes as a result. In fact, Montzeuma LOVES to raze your cities as soon as he captures them. Woo, Gone Well-developed City. UGH, What an ass.
My thoughts exactly.
In short, he's a complete tool you'll love to hate.
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Playing as Montzuma
That being said, playing AS Monty isn't nearly as bad as playing AGAINST Monty (then again, NOTHING is as bad as playing against Psychozuma >_< The only reason why he's dead last, is because he's so INCREDIBLY annoying and hard to deal with. Diplomacy and Trade are impossible with this guy, and you can only hope you army is large enough to counter his numberless hordes. Playing as Montezuma will, unsurprisingly, require a similar strategy, though a less erratic one. Simply invade you enemies early (as soon as you have Iron Working), squash them with your hordes of Promoted Jaguar Warriors, and rip out the hearts of the Conquered ones on you Sacreficial Altars (WHIP'EM!) and be done with it. Classic Azteco style. *thwop* Then attack another opponent, overwhelm and destroy. Repeat Process untill you've won. An don't forget the biggest advantage of them all: if you play as Monty, you'll have a 100% guarantee you'll never face Monty as an opponent. Woooohooo!! <*insert Cheering Smiley*>
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Montezuma's Character
Frankly, hadn't Monty been such a douchebag, he would have ranked in the TOP 15, approx. Guaranteed. Not only is playing as Montezuma total fun, Montezuma's Design is kinda hilarious. As is to be expected of a trigger-happy lunatic, Montezuma is totally psycho. I'm not kidding. He often gets incredible (and epic) Temper Tantrums about the smallest of Issues, like Religion (I mean, WHO Cares?? oh, rite, Monty does -_-) and other minor things like Refusing the pay Monty Tribute.� (I mean why ask if you're going to attack me anyway, doofhead?). This is accompanied by a couple of epic b*tchfaces:
Lulz.
The funniest (and also the most disturbing) of his snowfaces, is the one he makes when you refuse him tribute: he Basically cracks this CREEEEEEEEPY Smile that makes your bones chill.
That's seconds before he rips out your beating heart with a spoon and DEVOURS IT!! O______O
He's Cweepy... He's Cweeeeeepy. Cweeeeeepy. (~ Christy Smith)
Additionally, this is the Music that plays when your interacting with him. Now Combine this with his Creepy freak-ass leer... Brrr...
Montezuma s theme
btw: here's some further� proof of Monty's EVIL Nature, as the maker of the vid states. (Lol as if we needed MORE, lmao!)
WATCH AT OWN RISK!
(obviously it's a Glitch, but IDC, as long as it re-affirms his position as OTTNN (Super-Negative Over The Top) SuperVillain ^_^)
~*INTERMEZZO*~
Monty's design in Civ 5
Two words: Kick. @$$.
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The Rundown: Montezuma
Is the Leader Historically Acceptable?: Well, what ELSE do you expect from a Man who likes to rip out vital organs from still-living prisoners and who mistook a Spanish Conquistador for a Shiny, Metallic Storch?
What is the leaders Personality?: Trigger-Happy Lunatic. Thankfully, he's the only one in this cathegory. Btw: He's also a well-known religious zealot, warmonger and extortionist. That's very NASTY, to say the least.
Traits: Aggressive and Spiritual: Stronger troops and Free Civic Swapping. I'm a taker.
Is he Memorable?: Play one game against him (controlled by the AI that is) and I'm�absolutely sure you'll NEVER forget him. Ever. I can vouch for that!
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 13, 2010 12:38 AM |
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Monty is nice for one-on-one though. Unlike some gandhi who'll just watch you walk all over him.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 12:41 AM |
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ITA on Gandhi. What. a. Pushover.
Clue for the next one: ANOTHER FREAKHOLE!! 
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted September 13, 2010 04:34 AM |
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Goodness gracious, man, you're actually going to take your time to do 50 more of these? 
Makes more sense to sacrifice people, to be honest.
That said, I'll probably read the first and last five-ish.
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted September 13, 2010 06:53 AM |
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I play unrestricted leaders. Monty's ok. Spiritual/Aggressive is unorthodox but not that bad.
As for the Aztec's UU, combine Boudica with them and you've got the best healy general in the game with Woodsman III/Medic III.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 09:15 AM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 09:31, 13 Sep 2010.
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~51~
SHAKA
KILL. ON. SIGHT.
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ShakaDouche
UGH @ this man. Shaka is a mere continuation of the line of leaders I simply want to punch in the face anytime I see them pop up in my game (My bottom 6 are ALL leaders I ~irrationally~ HATE.). Shaka is only barely better than Monty and while Monty can be endearing at times (how can you hate a lunatic?), Shaka is a vile Piece of **** that just must kill on sight, asap. Otherwise, he'll kill YOU on sight, asap.
Shaka is, unsurprisingly, a huge Aggressor, similar to Montezuma in both Militairy Strength and Annoyance. However, there are several reasons why Shaka > Montezuma. One of these is quite evident:. There's nothing you can do to protect yourself from Montezuma Madness. However when Shaka Attacks, it usually if your fault, sorta. Usually it happens when you refuse to pay him tribute or when you adopt a "Heathen" (read: different) religion. And when your militairy is weak. Then too. A war with Shaka can easily be post-poned untill mid-game, and with some luck it's even avoidable, if Shaka if far enough away from you AND if there's a Civ Leader near him he just DESPISES (Unsurprisingly, that leader usually ends up being Victoria. )
Regardless, Shaka is pretty annoying. He's as aggressive as Monty and as much of an Extortionist. And Like Monty, Shaka likes Early Rushes. In fact, Shaka's Rushes happen even Earlier than Monty's, the because the Unique Unit for the Zulu Empire (the Impi) requires Bronze Working Only. (It DOES Require Copper or Iron, but usually, Shaka has plenty of it -_-). Shaka's early Rushes are a pain and they usually mean DEATH if they happen early. Why? Because the size of Shaka's Militairy tends to be even HIGHER than Monty's. Much, MUCH Higher in fact. Shaka usually has obscenely large armies of backward soldiers (he's ALWAYS behind in Technology... well, suppose one can't win'em all.), but by bring overwhelming odds, no matter how backward his troops are, Shaka is Dangerous. real Life Proof: Isandlwana. Google it. ZULOWNAGE at it's finest.
However one advanage: Once Shaka's army is broken, Shaka is basically done for. Not just in the war, but in the game. He tends to attack with nearly ALL of his troops, so IF you manage to break his army (or split it and then break it), you should march on to Shaka's Cities and take them before he can muster more troops. Once you start capturing his cities he'll capitulate easily and it's game over for Shaka.
Basically, Shaka is even LESS of a threat to win the game than Monty is, AND his rushes can be post-poned, unlike Monty's. That's an advantage on it's own. He's still a dirtbag tho.
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Playing as Shaka
It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to Figure Out how to play as Shaka. Early game Rushes are quite easy due to his Fast Spearmen and Nifty Specialist Barracks. (I'm not even trying to spell out their name... it's hard enough for me to spell "Isandlwana" correctly, and I'm not going to go through Zulu "Spelling methods" (lol) AGAIN!).
His Barracks also have an additional, Maintenance-reducing Bonus. In Practice, this means: MORE GOLD. As the player, you can choose whether you spend the extra gold on more Troops (as AI Shaka tends to do) or on More Cities (My recommendation, although Troops should be neglected). Shaka, being Expansive, also has very cheap Granaries, so you might want to adopt Slavery and Whip Through the Spare, Fast Growing Population. The Real Shaka would be proud ^_^
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DiplomaShaka
Let's just say Shaka isn't the most exciting Leader to communicate with. Shaka is really, really UGLY (although he's not the ugliest Leader), and a real, mannerless Savage. (Go figure.). and Unlike Monty, most of Shaka's Mannerisms are rather unremarkable, with one exception:
He does this when he's annoyed at you. Worth the trouble, I guess. (btw this is also the only moment where he looks somewhat attractive. Otherwise, he's really fug. Trust me on that one.)
And when it comes to the DiploMusic... oh Lord...
Shaka s Diplomacy theme.
O_________O
A Definate Contender for the Worst Diplomatic Theme of the Game? I hardly take it serious as "music", so Idk idk.
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The Rundown: Shaka Zulu:
Is the Leader Historically Acceptable?: Yes. Shaka is a backward, uncultured Savage with no real advantages, aside from raw, brute strength. Pretty much like he defied the rule of the Brilliant Ogress aka EMPRESS Victoria and then got his ass kicked by 120 of her (British) cadets in Rorke's Drift  
What is the leaders Personality?: Soldier-Spawner. His sole Purpose is to sacrefice his masses for... err giving his opponent more experienced soldiers? idk.
Traits: Aggressive and Expansive. Which is actually a pretty decent Combo, truth to say.
Is he Memorable?: Not really. Shaka isn't the only aggressive brute in this game (and not the only one ranking this low!), and he's probably the weakest of all the Aggro-b*tches, despite his massive forces. (However, he IS more annoying than most!) Shaka lacks a lot of Finesse and can be subdued quite easily during the Middle Ages and later. Meh.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 09:20 AM |
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Quote:
Goodness gracious, man, you're actually going to take your time to do 50 more of these?
Meh, atm I'm just copy pasting it. I've done #52-#38 so far, and am doing one each day... I'll manage, np
Quote:
I play unrestricted leaders. Monty's ok. Spiritual/Aggressive is unorthodox but not that bad.
Hmm, I hardly ever play Unrestricted because it totally breaks the Balance of the game (while Imba is fun to play WITH... I'd rather not want to face a super-aggro Napoleon of Holy Rome O_O)
Quote:
As for the Aztec's UU, combine Boudica with them and you've got the best healy general in the game with Woodsman III/Medic III.
Yes, Boudicangel is so amazing <3 (She'll be doing well on this ranking). Woodsman 3/Medic 3 Jags sound pretty awe-inspiring as well. Maybe I should give it a shot ^_^
Clue for the next one: We continue down the line of HATEFUL S-o-Bs, with another Aggrob*tch appearing on this list.
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted September 13, 2010 09:46 AM |
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Quote:
... people seem to have forgotten about the (undoubtably) Epic Gem called CIVILIZATION 5 which is about to be released as well.
Actually, I made a thread about Civ 5 in Other Games many months back, which got ... 0 replies. My heart died a little bit that day. 
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What will happen now?
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 13, 2010 10:03 AM |
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That's because I missed it!
There's the other forum I go to where we've got that thread for ages. 
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted September 13, 2010 02:48 PM |
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Quote:
Note 3: Yes, Darks, you can bash my noobishness
I shall do this later when the list is more complete
Btw what difficulty did you play on again?
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 02:57 PM |
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Noble.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted September 13, 2010 03:03 PM |
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Quote:
although Troops should be neglected
Was that a mistake in the Shaka part or are you really serious?
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 03:05 PM |
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Tyop
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 03:38 PM |
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~50~
Genghis Khan
What? ANOTHER WAR? YOU, JERK!
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The KHAN!
Should it be a surprise that the three biggest Warmongering Tools are the bottom three? I don't think it should be frankly. And in case people wonder: Do I War-oriented leaders? No. I DO enjoy having a good war an squashing my opponents with my superiour armies. However, I do HATE playing against them, obviously, as this Bottom 3 illustrates.
Genghis is of the same mettle as his two predecessors. He's an aggressive militarist who just LOVES to declare war on you. However, unlike the other two, Genghis is much more refined as a leader. He just doesn't control large masses of troops, instead he controls a meticulously ingenious (tho still large) army, and spends more than half his ingame time on Warfare. Genghis Khan is, much more than Monty or Shaka, a threat to conquer to globe.
But everything comes at a price, and The Khan is... well, he is a total jerk. Usually he's the #1 extortionist in the game, and will most likely attack you OR the leaders friendly to you. (and he's gonna OWN them.) More annoyingly however, are his smart, but loathsome battle tactics. The Khan usually spends his time pillaging and IF he attacks your city, he'll most likely burn it on sight -_- Very, VERY Frustrating.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!"
However, there are also upsides to Genghis, which Monty/Shaka lack.First off, while Genghis will go to war OFTEN, he usually will have bigger fish to fry than your pitiable empire. If he has a nearby enemy whom he hates more, he'll simply attack that enemy (unlike Monty, who'll travel all around the mapto attack you :massiveEyeroll . He's gonna own that enemy, true, but at least you're safe. Secondly, Genghis rarely rushes. He usually attacks when his vast army of Keshiks and Catapults is fully completed - which is, as we all know, later than Monty or Shaka's infantry rushes. Personally, I usually don't pay much tribute to anyone, but it is wise to give Genghis some tribute to make sure he won't attack you - as long as he doesn't ask too much. Thirdly, Genghis's army is much easier to counter. He's a total Cavarly abuser,so if you fight him, it's obvious you'll need a lot of Pikemen/spearmen to ward off his mounted Hordes. (Piece o' Cake if your UU is a Pikeman - Maya, Greece, Holy Rome, etc) In addition, it makes it very easily to stop his constant flow of Horse Archers. If you sabotage or Pilage his Horse Pastures, it's Exit Khan's army and exit Khan. (It's a lot harder to sabotage Monty's or Shaka's flow of Impi's/Jaguars, especially the Jags)
Finally, The Khan is an EXCELLENT Ally. While he's not the most loyal person around, he can easily be bribed into attack whomever you perseive as a threat (whether economically or militarily). He's bloodthirsty enough to even attack his friends (although he won't attack his closest friends). Even Capitulated and Vassalized, The Khan will have strong armies that you can use as additional leverage against your opponents foes. However, beware, because if the Khan is willing to backstab his friends, he's also willing to backstab you, if the price is right.
Overall, the Khan is the TOP warmonger, and definately a military threat, but his has his weaknesses that allow you to counter his army fairly quickly. Overall, The Khan gradually runs out of weak empires to sack, and will drop to the bottom of the totem pole.�(Usually happens around the Renaissance Age). From that point onward, he's usually a non-threat.
"HEEEEERE'S GENGHIS!!!!"
Don't get me wrong. He's still a douchebag. But at least he's less of a nuisance than both his predecessors.
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Playing as the Khan
Unsurprisingly, playing as Genghis will require a similar strategy. Genghis is (one of) the most War-oriented Leaders, and his two traits (Aggressive and Imperialistic) WILL require war to become effective. If you don't go at war while playing Genghis Khan, both traits are wasted.
An interesting thing about Genghis Khan is his cavalry. The Aggressive Trait gives free experience to Offencive Foot Soldiers, and the Cavarly always misses out on it. Not with the Mongols. Mongolia's UB, The "Ger" (a kind of yurt, I suppose?), gives DOUBLE the amount of experience given to the Mounted Units usually given by a stable.. Combine this with a Barracks (which is a very cheap and easy-to-build building for Aggressive Leaders) and Civics like Theocracy and/or Vassalage you can create Keshiks (and other Cavalry) with 10 XP in your cities. That. Is. Mother-effing. GIGANORMOUS. Mongolia's Cavalry is easily the strongest in the game (hence why the Genghis AI tends to build LOTS of them) and is a VITAL part in your quest for conquest and loot. The Khan is possibly one of the best leaders when it comes to warfare, and honestly, hadn't he been such a total AHOLE in this game, I would have ranked him a LOT higher. (note: don't neglect your siege equipment, and consider bringing enough Axemen/Macemen with you to counter the opponents pikemen.)
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Negociating with the Khan
Like what is to be expected in a GREAT KHAN, Genghis isn't the most diplomatic of the leaders. His interest in Trade is somewhat minor (I mean, WHY trade if you can take if by force?) and he has little to no respect for treaties. However, he LOVES to backstab others (Convincing him to chop up Montezuma or Zara Yaqob�is one of the most satisfying things you can do in this game) and makes a very interesing, short-term ally. Short-term, because he'll soon enough be bribed by someone else to turn against you, lol.
Truly, a most charming gent.
Genghis s Diplo Music (Clicky linky ^_^) is actually very good imo. It's not too aggressive or scary, BUT it DOES sound like a Majestic Empire being threatened by a powerfull, overwhelming force that is quickly advancing towards you. Very fitting for Mongolia, imo.
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The Rundown: Genghis Khan:
Is the Leader Historically Acceptable?: Yes. The Programmers did a SPLENDID job at capturing Genghis Khan's personality and desires... Even in their biggest, vilest and most repulsive details. He also LOOKS like a real savage too.
What is the leaders Personality?: Warmonger. A Top Tier Conqueror who isn't dirty of Mercenairy work either.
Traits: Aggressive and Imperialistic. That means Stronger Troops... and More Experience? So That's Stronger Troops and Stronger Troops alol. Pretty obvious what one should do with that. ^_^
Is he Memorable?: Absolutely. The Khan is an incredible pain-in-the-neck although not nearly as offencive (or trigger-happy) than Monty is. Still, you won't be too happy to see him pop up near your empire.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted September 13, 2010 05:56 PM |
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Quote:
Is the Leader Historically Acceptable?: Yes. Shaka is a backward, uncultured Savage with no real advantages, aside from raw, brute strength. Pretty much like he defied the rule of the Brilliant Ogress aka EMPRESS Victoria and then got his ass kicked by 120 of her (British) cadets in Rorke's Drift
Also worth noting he kicked the asses of 8000 British soldiers armed with state-of-the-art rifles and artillery, using primitive spears and cowhide shields, at Isandlwana.
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted September 13, 2010 06:53 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Is the Leader Historically Acceptable?: Yes. Shaka is a backward, uncultured Savage with no real advantages, aside from raw, brute strength. Pretty much like he defied the rule of the Brilliant Ogress aka EMPRESS Victoria and then got his ass kicked by 120 of her (British) cadets in Rorke's Drift
Also worth noting he kicked the asses of 8000 British soldiers armed with state-of-the-art rifles and artillery, using primitive spears and cowhide shields, at Isandlwana.
I referenced that too, see? ^_^
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted September 13, 2010 07:50 PM |
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Yeah but then you kept whining about how uncultural and savage he is.
A savage will attack a gun with a spear, sure - but only a bloody genius will actually win.
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted September 13, 2010 09:01 PM |
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Quote:
A savage will attack a gun with a spear, sure - but only a bloody genius will actually win.
Genius does not equal cultured
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted September 14, 2010 12:25 AM |
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Yes, but "no real advantages but raw brute strength" isn't really the clos...
Jesus am I defending a historical person on the internet right now?!
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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