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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted October 21, 2014 06:56 AM |
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So you're part of a harem.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted October 21, 2014 03:25 PM |
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mvassilev said:
Update: I've moved in with my girlfriend, and, interestingly, with her other primary. It works conveniently in terms of logistics, and he's fun to be around. I've also met another one of her boyfriends.
Congratulations Mvass, you are a now a bona fide member of an alternative lifestyle. Now the real world begins.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted October 21, 2014 03:26 PM |
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Baby, don't hurt me. don't hurt me. no more. 
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted October 21, 2014 03:30 PM |
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Ooh another thought Mvass. It might be an idea if one of you guys gets yourself another secondary girlfriend. If your primary girlfriend has about four boyfriends right now, you will probably be finding yourselves often without a date for the evening, if you catch my drift.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted October 21, 2014 03:41 PM |
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The count is three, I think. I just imagine mvass' girlfriend to be so amazingly charming, people can't help but join her man harem.
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 21, 2014 06:15 PM |
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her other primary? 
I bet she tells everyone "you are the one I love the most"
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted October 21, 2014 06:30 PM |
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Might be better off calling them by the days of the week. "This is Monday 2 and Thursday 1". Might save some confusion.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 21, 2014 06:32 PM |
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meroe said:
Ooh another thought Mvass. It might be an idea if one of you guys gets yourself another secondary girlfriend. If your primary girlfriend has about four boyfriends right now, you will probably be finding yourselves often without a date for the evening, if you catch my drift.
That would be nice, yes, though I have plenty to do when she's not around, like argue on the Internet. But seriously, I get enough time with her, though I'd also like a secondary. The problem is that I don't know many people in the area, though I have plans to change that in the near future.DagothGares said:
The count is three, I think. I just imagine mvass' girlfriend to be so amazingly charming, people can't help but join her man harem.
Three (including myself) is the number I've mentioned on HC before, but the number of people she's dating is 6, with some potential for that to become 7 in the near future. But only two of those relationships are serious relationships as that term is usually understood - the other 4 are more casual, and are both less of a time investment and less of an emotional investment.
____________
Eccentric Opinion
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 21, 2014 06:37 PM |
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Is my impression of this correct?
Mvass meets girl. Girl likes Mvass a lot.
She more or less she makes all the moves and Mvass and her are now together.
This is Mvass first girlfriend. Mvass is also very philosophical upon many matters, such as what is a good relationship.
Mvass decides that he likes the girl enough that he doesn't mind if she also likes someone else or want to be close with someone else, etc.
Mvass is so confident in his theories that he encourages, maybe even drives, his first ever girlfriend to seek out other guys, while he himself has no such interests.
Mvass girlfriend is reluctant, but after enough discussion and persuasion, she meets a guy at some place and goes for it. Mvass is primary, he is secondary.
Mvass is fine with it, his theories has triumphed, he's in the best relationship ever, because he can acknowledge his girlfriends needs and still be with her.
Now Mvass is told he isn't the only primary, Mvass theories once again triumphs as he's willing to accept his girlfriends needs, her freedom, and still be able to maintain a healthy relationship.
I'm sure I'm probably mistaken both about how and what has happened and how you (Mvass) look at it, so please correct me.
Now for some stranger guessing at your girlfriends actual motives.. which I must emphasize are just guesses from a stranger..
Your girlfriend may never have been comfortable with the situation you pushed upon her. While she was probably glad you liked her so much that you treasured her freedom and wanted to remain friendly towards her even if things should go south, your pursue at proving that she can be in a relationship with you while having other ongoing relationships may have either driven her to try to make you jealous.. or even worse, she might eventually have bought it.
The whole point is usually that while we shouldn't be each others possessions, once people enters a relationship, it usually means they're ready to invest themselves to someone who isn't just themselves. Those who take upon the opportunity of having things going on on the side, usually aren't completely determined if they're ready for a relationship, or perhaps with whom. Which is O.K., because it means it's still possible to get to know a person intimately before they've invested themselves fully. If nothing romantic forms, odds are you've formed a friend for life.
But from what I see, it sounds like you've developed it into that your girlfriend not only can, but should have multiple boyfriends and it's been developed into some kind of polyamorous culture, more than merely accepting your girlfriend for whatever way she chooses to live.
Most likely I'm very wrong of course..
____________
Living time backwards
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted October 21, 2014 06:37 PM |
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I'm not so closed minded to think that such an awkward relationship cannot exist, I'm more concerned with the fact that you present all concerned as completely fine with it, I mean I can be strained enough to accept that your girlfriend is "fine" with an open relationship, but other people coming into this unorthodox relationship? No, not unless they have very low standards (to the point that they accept sharing someone), or are simply just looking for casual sex, in which case I doubt they give a crap.
Mind you we're taking your word on a lot of this, as far as any of us know it could all be a load of crap that you concocted, or at least the key points you said weren't exactly sincere.
Also people go through approval(?), what's the criteria for you or her for accepting or rejecting a person they see? (have you actually exercised this power or is it a mere convention still?)
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 21, 2014 06:40 PM |
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There are many guys who're looking for just sex. There are also many guys who'd jump at the opportunity to be romantically involved with someone elses girlfriend and slowly but surely make her there girlfriend.. it's like being with a woman who's having an affair, only except that you actually have a shot with the woman you're having an affair with.
Edit: By many guys I mean.. ME, OKAY I MEAN ME, PLEASE DON'T JUDGE.
____________
Living time backwards
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 21, 2014 06:57 PM |
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Ohforf:
To clarify/correct some parts -
I actually stated liking her before she liked me. Our mutual attraction grew and we started a relationship. Around the same time, both of us realized that neither of us minded if the other slept with other people, or developed romantic emotional connections with them as long as it didn't detract from our relationship. It's true that I'm philosophical about relationships, but so is she. Neither of us pushed the other into anything - in fact, there was a significant period of time in which we were polyamorous but only had each other as partners. She met another guy and they developed a mutual interest, and I welcomed her new relationship. (This guy is now her other primary.) She moved in with this guy while I lived far away. Then she met some other people and started dating them more casually. Then, most recently, I moved in with her.
Neither of us is trying to make the other jealous - she's enjoying being able to have whatever relationships she wants, and I'm enjoying her being happy, and eventually I'll enjoy being able to have other relationships as well. Mutual investment and polyamory aren't mutually exclusive, as we're very strongly invested in and dedicated to each other. That has nothing to do with whether we can love other people.
Tsar:
If my girlfriend and I are interested in this kind of relationship, is it that unlikely that some other people would be too? As for other people coming into this relationships, they are, of course, also polyamorous, and their relationship with her isn't their most serious, i.e. they usually have some other primary. If you can believe that people can want to have multiple friends and regular (monogamous) casual dating, they can want things like that in a polyamorous context as well.
____________
Eccentric Opinion
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 21, 2014 07:05 PM |
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You know, people, reading this is a bit like watching Big Bang Theory.
Shouldn't you simply accept that there are people who are less wax in the hands of their emotions than you are?
It's kind of a hippie lifestyle - just organized, if you get my drift. And just because it's not yours:
Are we now at a point where we are oh so progressively have no problems with same-ex relations - at least on the surface -, but make fun of people who try a non-exclusive relationship and see where it gets them?
REAL LIFE looks a lot different. Monogamous relationships break all the time, people are betraying each other, and no one keeps to the "until death will part us" vow.
Is that really a position to argue against Mvass.
Face it:
He has more guts than any of you; and what's more important: it's HIS life, and if he's happy, who are you to tell him he has no business to actually be.
As if anyone of you - or me, for that matter - could claim to have more of a clue than him.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 21, 2014 07:11 PM |
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@Mvass
But what about all the hugs she gave you which you didn't like?
Anyway, I'm happy you're happy. I hope it'll remain and that I'm wrong in both of my wild shot guesses (i.e. that you're pushing your view points onto her and she might try to teach you a lesson).
____________
Living time backwards
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 21, 2014 07:19 PM |
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She'll hug anyone if they're friendly and they stand still long enough. It's an expression of mild affection from her, and doesn't indicate any sexual or romantic interest.
____________
Eccentric Opinion
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted October 21, 2014 07:20 PM |
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Quote:
He has more guts than any of you; and what's more important: it's HIS life, and if he's happy, who are you to tell him he has no business to actually be.
Ouch, man, I just wanted an excuse to use the words "man harem."
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 21, 2014 07:22 PM |
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Wouldn't it have been easier to wait until someone were having sex, then strip naked and jump at them while yelling "MAN HAREM!"?
Of course I guess one would bounce off the monitor..
____________
Living time backwards
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 21, 2014 07:42 PM |
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DagothGares said:
Quote:
He has more guts than any of you; and what's more important: it's HIS life, and if he's happy, who are you to tell him he has no business to actually be.
Ouch, man, I just wanted an excuse to use the words "man harem."
Zenofex beat you to it, though, which seems to give indication for some kind of selective reading here. 
Anyway. FACTS say, this whole business about exclusivity is at least as often as not at best an illusion and at worst a lie.
Which doesn't mean, there are exclusive relationships that work.
But there is no reason whatsoever to treat Mvass with the kind of condescension I read and feel here. Of course not just from you.
I mean, you know Mv for some time now - virtually, I mean -, and by now it should be clear that he's somewhat different than your typical male youth. So different, in fact, that it might work for him. Think SPOCK, for frag's sake, or Sheldon Cooper or whatever - but I don't see any reason to make fun of him, just because he allows himself to explore something, I doubt most of the people posting here would be able to.
Can't you just make fun of him because of his naive economic ideas?
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted October 21, 2014 07:47 PM |
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HC wouldn't be the same if we couldn't poke at Mvass for being different. No offense intended.
____________
Living time backwards
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted October 21, 2014 07:55 PM |
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^ Or compare him to fictional characters.
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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