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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: Suicides
Thread: Suicides This thread is 10 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 · NEXT»
Milena
Milena


Responsible
Supreme Hero
in supreme disgrace
posted January 02, 2002 07:59 PM

Suicides

Tell me, what would you do if you learn that a member of your family or a very good friend of yours has tried to commit suicide. WHat would you do? What would you say?
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Milena

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Zud
Zud


Promising
Famous Hero
box worshipper
posted January 02, 2002 08:03 PM
Edited By: Zud on 2 Jan 2002

this is very serious

and no matter what you had to promise. you should tell the parents, friends and everyone else who is close to this person, this isnt the time to "keep a secret" if it is before the act, if afterwards, they need some professional help I would think
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Winner or Whiner?

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Romana
Romana


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
posted January 02, 2002 08:06 PM

Just be there for them. Hold them, tell them you love them. It's not cowardly to end your own life. Mostly the people who do have already put up a great fight. Sometimes they win and sometimes they lose. Either way they are very brave. I/m not saying it right but I respect Other's decisions though I'd do anything to try to convince them not to do so
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars

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Milena
Milena


Responsible
Supreme Hero
in supreme disgrace
posted January 02, 2002 08:11 PM

I know it's serious

They had suicides in my school every year. Now I heard of a recent case as well. I really can't help wondering what the hell is going on with this world. I feel guilty.
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Milena

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RMS
RMS


Responsible
Legendary Hero
-ing yummy foods
posted January 02, 2002 08:44 PM

Oh no! Please don't suicide! Don't leave us...we love you!

Please, perhaps you should talk to someone about this. We may not the right people, but know that we will always be here for you.

Nobody choses to suicide...it simply happens when the pain seems to outweigh everything else. We know that you do not really wish to die...nobody does. Thinking about it though, does not make you a bad person whatsoever. You are not succumbing to weakness, you are not insane, what you are is one of us. Don't ever let anyone tell you that your reasons for contemplating such an action is not validated. Different people are more vulnerable to different types and extremes of pain.

Whether or not it may seem like it, there is hope. There is always hope to soothe your problems. Nobody can ever guarantee and quick solution, but there are ways to treat the problem, and make it more bearable.

People can and have gotten through such troubling times. Relax, and allow yourself to think. Give yourself a day or two, or a week or so to think everything over, and make sure you reall want to commit suicide. You may feel like it is an absolute must , but that is not true. You have the choice. It is your freedom to do as you wish, but at the very least, remember that you do now have to do it right this instant.

You want to escape this pain, to be rid of this horrid feeling, and seek relief. Remember, if you are dead, you are never going to feel that comfort that you seek in life if you are dead. There may be some people who don't react well to your feelings. They may fear for you, and are do not know what to do. They may want to help you, but instead they make things worse. Please understand that they fear for your safety and are it's not about what you fear.

However, there are really people who can help. There are people who can talk with you, and help you get through this. This is not a time of judgement for your life or their's...we all care for you and if you will just sit down and talk to us, hopefully you will feel better.
I do not wish you to try and get through this alone. Be brave, but accept aid, for we freely offer it to you out of love.

There are many people that are very willing to talk with you. You can look up your crisis line in the phone book, call a psychotherapist, or you can just choose a friend, or a minister to listen to you. Anyone who is likely to listen to you is an option. You need caring for, and therapy is a good idea to get through this trauma.

Remember, if someone wishes to listen to you, please talk with them. There are many resources availiable to you. Hopefully the first person you talk to will not be your last.
Now, it is time to go and start searching for one.
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rogue
rogue


Promising
Famous Hero
Prosecutors Will Be Shoplifted
posted January 02, 2002 09:03 PM

I mostly just sat in my room feeling helpless and hoping the attempt would fail.
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Answers to Everything
http://help.paulinetown.com

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Nickman77
Nickman77


Famous Hero
from Poland.
posted January 02, 2002 10:06 PM

I would try to stop it and calm him down. I`d tell him how life might be funny, happy and beautifull. I`d also try to tell someone about it. Parents or someone else. I`d make (I don`t know what should I write, maybe 'do') party and invite him. I`d try everything...
It`s very difficult.
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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 02, 2002 11:56 PM

I dont know what it's like, but i do know what it's like losing one of my friends that i considered a brother when he commited suicide. it was may 8th 2001 one day after his birthday.Now i only have 2 friends i consider my own brothers. Every new years & may 8th we are going to make a toast to him as a tradition.
It was really sad that a person so full of life could do a thing like that, i miss him very much.
I hope none of you have to go through what i went through, it really does not feel good.
Sometimes i feel like i could of done something to prevent it. GUILT
I know that i cant feel guilty for long because it happens & someway i have to deal with it.
If any of you see any sign of a suicide do whatever you can to let them know there is still hope, because even one could be too late.
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Dreaming of a Better World

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malkia
malkia


Promising
Famous Hero
posted January 02, 2002 11:58 PM

if someone decides to suicide, it's their choice, and sometimes instead of killing themselves they can make worse - like killing someone else.

Unless you are absolutely sure about that person, what he will do after you've stopped him from suiciding, it's better not to help. A man/woman who considers his life to be taken, can make the same with other lives.

In bulgarian army I was there was one case of suicide. The guy used to spend all his money by buing stuff to his friends in the army this day. It was the day after we got salary (it wasn't so much of a money - but he gave them all to buy stuff for his friends and mates). Later this night he was on duty and shot himself with AK-47. If someone tried to stopped him - then it'll be worse. Only qualified personell must handle such stuff.

If it comes to your children/near relatives - then the situation is different for sure - you have to help them or understand them.

If it's with you - it's your choice.

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Gimmickless
Gimmickless


Promising
Known Hero
Cannon Maker
posted January 03, 2002 01:21 AM

Quote:
Tell me, what would you do if you learn that a member of your family or a very good friend of yours has tried to commit suicide. WHat would you do? What would you say?


Has tried?  I considered it at a very young age.  There's no helping that some tried and failed to off themselves.  That's part of who they are, and you can never change, only accept it.  However, if you think they might try again, that's a different story entirely.

I can't help you with that, as I've never talked with them, much less have some kind of an emotional bond.  That's your call. At the very least, find out why they think they should off themselves, and take it from there. Follow your own insincts on this one.
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bjorn190
bjorn190


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
posted January 03, 2002 01:48 AM

Quote:
Quote:
Tell me, what would you do if you learn that a member of your family or a very good friend of yours has tried to commit suicide. WHat would you do? What would you say?


They need to feel loved. And know that someone understand the "real" them and cares about them. Make a fool of yourself, don´t hold back. You need to let them know.

Also, and it´s blunt but its true. They need a good sexual relationship. Hard to get, but that´s what I think is needed in lots of cases. Also there are some medicins that might help.

And talking to ppl who have had similar problems is probably great, so they know they´re not alone


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I am the hope of the universe... I am the answer to all living things that cry out for peace... I am protector of the innocent... I am the light in the darkness... I am truth.

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frenzie
frenzie


Adventuring Hero
off with the faeries
posted January 03, 2002 02:12 AM

Quote:
Tell me, what would you do if you learn that a member of your family or a very good friend of yours has tried to commit suicide. WHat would you do? What would you say?


My boyfriend has been going through some pretty heavy depression and during this he had worked out how and when he could do it.

His love for me prevented him trying, and the hardest thing for him was telling me that he had thought about it.

Being the person that knows isnt easy...do i tell someone, do i run? hide? I have just been there for him, letting him know that i love him and that its OK to feel depressed, its not his fault.

He has since been better at times, and then lapses again. Drugs for this are not an option, and most doctors think thats the only solution (i know several people now addicted to their anti depressants with horrible and painful side effects).

For some people, making a big deal of it will only make it worse, just need to let the person know that you are there for them and if they ever feel that way again to contact you straight away.

If it is dire, then talk to them about going to a hospital, or a doctor, try and make it their decision, not something you force on them. They have to want to get better to ever get out of that head space.
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Industrial design knows of no more useful object than the milk crate

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 03, 2002 03:12 AM

You know I realized that sometimes a person can change someones life like a lover. Maybe they can sooth a person in a fit of depression on the urge of suicide.
Sometimes they need something that is empty. Or maybe a love one has left that person & cant live without the person.
Can a certain person really sooth the pain.

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Dreaming of a Better World

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hurragutten
hurragutten


Adventuring Hero
Yep!
posted January 03, 2002 11:50 AM

Make them see

I guess there`s no such thing as a list of what to do if someone you know commits suicide. But here are my ideas:

1. Make them understand that somone is caring for them, like you.
2. Make them understand that noone know what tomorrow will bring. How many people knew 2 years ago exactly what they are doing today? World will consantly vhange. Happier days will follow.
3. Listen to the person. Do not show anger, but show love.

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thx for reading

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IceDragon
IceDragon


Adventuring Hero
endangered species
posted January 03, 2002 01:16 PM

what I know about suicide...

I'm not sure, really... I know less about it from the observer's side than from the subject's side.

A secondary friend of mine died under suspicious circumstances... he drove a dirt bike off a cliff.  But nobody thought he was depressed or anything.  Maybe this shows you don't know as much about people as you think.  Or maybe he really wasn't paying attention to where he was going.

I've been suicidal in the past.  made a few halfhearted attempts, never went through with it because I, personally, was too chicken.  In some ways, the fact that I didn't do it is embarrassing because it makes me feel that I'm weak, I fear the pain.  Methods were too painful, too gory, too weird, too hard to get access to.  Never found one that suited me.

Plus there was always a little spark of desire to see if things would get better, like maybe life wasn't as bad as I thought it was.  And I felt guilty of the burden that my death would put upon the people I loved... how much it would shame and grieve them if I died.

I got over that, but I was still depressed.  Later, the threat of suicide became an attention getter for me when I was down... a "please love me and tell me I mean something to you" tactic.  I only ever used it on my husband and only when I was very down (I knew by this point I'd have a hard time actually doing it even if the best method possible dropped into my lap).  After all... no one else ever knew I had ever contemplated suicide until/unless I told them.  Hence why I sometimes wonder about the friend.

The mere fact that someone has told you they've thought of it in the past shows that they trust you with this painful secret, and they CARE about what you think.  You are in a prime position to help and be supportive.  Regardless of whether you think they were seriously contemplating suicide or just using it as an attention getter...  you probably should tell others who cares about this person and can help you.  And you have to think carefully about who you tell... even though deep down, the person really does know you're doing it out of genuine concern and love, they might be angry or ashamed if certain people found out, for whatever reason.  Hopefully there will be several good candidates.  Then you can approach the person together, and air your concerns.  If there aren't any others suitable... then do it yourself.  Ask if they want help from others, or if they want you to be their primary source of help (you can ask for help on how to help them from others without revealing the person in question).  Sometimes medication can help (it didn't with me... I've had to work though things myself).  But concern, support and love really help more, IMO.

Just don't let what should go without saying (I love you, I care about you, if you ever and I mean EVER need anything just tell me... I don't want you to die) go unsaid.  Sometimes that can make all the difference.

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 04, 2002 02:49 PM

Sometimes it is hard to tell when a person is suicidal because they tend to hide their feelings till it's too late
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Dreaming of a Better World

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Lith-Maethor
Lith-Maethor


Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
posted January 04, 2002 02:55 PM

I lost a friend like this....

and I think I havce the right to say a few things... suicide is ALWAYS the easy way out of something... people that kill themselves are cowards and selfish... they just want to get away of their problems and never think of all those they leave behind mourning... self-sacrifice is something that takes guts, suiicide is not...
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 04, 2002 03:07 PM

suicide is the easy way out & it is selfish.
Makes me see how serious life really is.
I known other people that commited suicide when they were locked in asylums, as 1 example
Guilt, it seems they forget about the ones that will miss them because they think they let loved ones down. They did something they think is unforgivably wrong & too scared.
I dont believe in suicide, but i guess you can blame someone for this horrific crime but what can a person do who gives up on life.
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Dreaming of a Better World

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Hexa
Hexa


Responsible
Legendary Hero
posted January 04, 2002 03:46 PM

Sorry that I have to disagree Lith ...

Those that are at the point of committing suicide have crossed every threshold u can imagine.
It takes a whole lot of courage to do this.

People that do that have been battling for years … at some point a human being can not take anymore and the rational minds shuts down … I had a nephew that hung himself ….

That was 10 years ago …
With that people not only end their own lives but also terminate the life of everybody that cares for them.
They will never ever be the same .. these events leave scares that time will NOT heal.

They will never again be the person they where before it happened .. trust me on this one.

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If you want to realize your dreams >>> you have to wake up!@

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Lith-Maethor
Lith-Maethor


Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
posted January 04, 2002 03:54 PM

thresholds Hexa...?

...heh... I think i know better than you... I've been there you know... I crossed every single threshold I could and I was ready to kill myself... but I was lucky (again)... Cirion (my RL "blood-brother") brought me back to my senses...
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.

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