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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: What is Love?
Thread: What is Love? This Popular Thread is 225 pages long: 1 30 60 90 120 ... 147 148 149 150 151 ... 180 210 225 · «PREV / NEXT»
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted December 04, 2010 01:56 AM

And so I told one of the young kids who wanted to declare his love to some girl and whom was part of my youth movement: "Don't worry, take your time. It's not like it's the most important thing in the world." and the kid smirked of course, because I'm the world's greatest prankster.

I also may have added: "I had a girlfriend for a year and, truth be told, it was quite a miserable experience in hindsight."
The kid may have replied: "Don't worry, your time will come."
But I choose to believe he did not. I also choose to believe the world is perfect and that politicians never lie.
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mvassilev
mvassilev


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Undefeatable Hero
posted December 04, 2010 03:21 AM

You have a youth movement? What are they called, the "Young Dagoths"? "Future Dagoths of Belgium"?

I want followers too.
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 04, 2010 11:37 AM

Pillar Warriors ftw.
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phoenixreborn
phoenixreborn


Promising
Legendary Hero
Unicorn
posted December 04, 2010 12:33 PM

Quote:
By the time a person is out of college, their nature and ideologies are established in stone and aren't going to change much.

How about Malcom X?
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Fauch
Fauch


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Undefeatable Hero
posted December 04, 2010 05:46 PM
Edited by Fauch at 17:53, 04 Dec 2010.

Quote:
To me true love is unconditional - you can't say you love them because they love you or you love them cos they make you feel special or you love them cos they buy you gifts. Love is a mixture of everything companionship, happiness, patience, understanding a good relationship has give and take and most of all compromise as theres no room for selfishness it just wont work and you also need more than just sex


sounds good.
even egoist people agree that your love for them should be inconditional

Quote:
And love is all about mutual egoism.

sounds more like the negation of love. if you care only about yourself, there is no point in being with someone, if you only care about satisfying the ego of the other person, you will be unhappy because you don't care about yourself, and the other person is going to ask always more from you.

Quote:
By the time a person is out of college, their nature and ideologies are established in stone and aren't going to change much.

in my case, I think it changed a lot after I left college. when I was in school I was trying my best to conform myself to what the school wanted, you know, wanted to become a model of the success in society.

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mvassilev
mvassilev


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Undefeatable Hero
posted December 04, 2010 10:34 PM

Quote:
if you care only about yourself, there is no point in being with someone, if you only care about satisfying the ego of the other person, you will be unhappy because you don't care about yourself, and the other person is going to ask always more from you.
Quite the opposite. If you primarily ("only" is impossible, even for an egoist) care about yourself, and being with someone makes you happy, then it makes perfect sense to be with them. (Although I suspect we may have different things we mean by "ego".) If being with them makes you happy, and you doing stuff for them makes you happy, and them doing stuff for you makes you happy, and the same is true from their point of view as well, there you go - egoist love.
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Fauch
Fauch


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Undefeatable Hero
posted December 05, 2010 02:43 PM

yeah, you're right.

but it's not unconditional love

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mvassilev
mvassilev


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Undefeatable Hero
posted December 05, 2010 10:45 PM

I don't think there's such a thing as unconditional love.
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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted December 05, 2010 11:36 PM

Check at 8:00 and tell me who he reminds you of.
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JoonasTo
JoonasTo


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Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted December 06, 2010 01:04 PM

First thing I thought was Gendo from NGE.
THAT POSE!

But yeah, that was a good one.
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Nidhgrin
Nidhgrin


Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
posted December 10, 2010 11:23 PM

Quote:
I don't think there's such a thing as unconditional love.

Oh yes there is

When you rise from your ego for a moment, stop expecting things from life and just give, you can experience unconditional love for another person.

Unfortunately our ego dictates our being in such a way this state of unconditional love cannot last.  In order to do this, we would have to dissolve our ego completely, giving up our identity.  I believe only certain philosophers and religious people have achieved such a state.

However, if unconditional love would not exist, how do you explain people dedicating their lives to the benefit of the well being of others?  How do you explain charity?  How do you explain elderly couples who have spent the largest part of their lives together still being happy together?
It can't all be tradition, guilt, a quest for fame now can it?  At least I don't believe it is.  If unconditional love would not exist, what a cold world we would live in...

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 11, 2010 12:15 AM

If you dissolve your being, then you cannot love at all, unconditionally or otherwise. And anyway love must be conditional, or else it's meaningless. You love something because it is good, because you value it, etc. That's not unconditional.

Quote:
However, if unconditional love would not exist, how do you explain people dedicating their lives to the benefit of the well being of others?  How do you explain charity?
Because they value helping others and/or helping others makes them feel good.
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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted December 11, 2010 12:56 AM

You are hopeless
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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 11, 2010 01:06 AM

Quote:
In order to do this, we would have to dissolve our ego completely, giving up our identity.


Maybe that's why the supreme love has been stated "laying down your life for another"?

Roy Rogers was asked for the reason behind his long and happy marriage to Dale Evans? he replied; If both give a 100% and expect nothing. I thought it sounded pretty lame but he went on to explain he got his 100% from Dale, so he wasn't being all that noble (or something to that effect) If you think on it; it's all out service to the other and 0 held back.
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Fauch
Fauch


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posted December 11, 2010 01:58 AM
Edited by Fauch at 02:04, 11 Dec 2010.

I can at least say that is the way krishnamurti defined love, the absence of ego. but it is indeed extremly rare that someone completely "dissolves" his ego.

that's also the definition of buddhism I think, but there is a difference, Krishnamurti considered the action with a goal (including the action with the goal to dissolve your ego) as egocentric. thus for him, the buddhist meditation only made your ego stronger.

Sister Emmanuelle said that despite her reputation, she fought against it her whole life, and was sometimes more motivated by the power and her reputation.

The Dalai Lama also says he sometimes has to fight against it as well.


Quote:
Roy Rogers was asked for the reason behind his long and happy marriage to Dale Evans? he replied; If both give a 100% and expect nothing


the problem is many people give like 10% and expect 100% from the other person. and when you do give 100%, those people want 200%

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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 11, 2010 03:06 AM

Quote:
I can at least say that is the way krishnamurti defined love, the absence of ego. but it is indeed extremly rare that someone completely "dissolves" his ego.

that's also the definition of buddhism I think, but there is a difference, Krishnamurti considered the action with a goal (including the action with the goal to dissolve your ego) as egocentric. thus for him, the buddhist meditation only made your ego stronger.

Sister Emmanuelle said that despite her reputation, she fought against it her whole life, and was sometimes more motivated by the power and her reputation.

The Dalai Lama also says he sometimes has to fight against it as well.


If you/they mean by the "fighting against" being the Ego still rearing up at times, every time you start thinking you've made some progress than I agree competely. Another view of this struggle is defined as a marytr-complex and unfortuantely I've been an unwilling dance-partner with that at times too. It's not like it's always clearly visible but a person trying to stay alert can get glimpses. <IMO> The difficulty is; all the while you are 'yielding'...you "know you're yielding" and then when it seems the rewards are that 'rolling-over is the new-expected-norm' than "uncondtional" quickly loses it's glimmer<VBG>

Quote:
Quote:
Roy Rogers was asked for the reason behind his long and happy marriage to Dale Evans? he replied; If both give a 100% and expect nothing



Quote:
the problem is many people give like 10% and expect 100% from the other person. and when you do give 100%, those people want 200%


And when did you meet my old girl-friend?
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Fauch
Fauch


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posted December 11, 2010 03:34 AM

krishnamurti said that fighting against your ego was stupid, since obviously, as long as you keep fighting, you give it an importance.

he said the end of the thoughts was the end of the ego. it seems indeed obvious that there can't be an egocentric activity without thinking. but if you force yourself to not think, it's a struggle, then it's an egocentric activity.

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markkur
markkur


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Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 11, 2010 03:43 AM

Quote:
he said the end of the thoughts was the end of the ego. it seems indeed obvious that there can't be an egocentric activity without thinking. but if you force yourself to not think, it's a struggle, then it's an egocentric activity.


Repetition gets you there but for me anyway; its a very tall ladder.
One rung at a time.
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mvassilev
mvassilev


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Undefeatable Hero
posted December 11, 2010 05:38 AM

Why would you want to not have ego?
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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 11, 2010 06:29 AM
Edited by markkur at 06:31, 11 Dec 2010.

Well I don't think it's bad to have an Ego I just had one that was rather cantankerous in some ways stemming from a survival mode mentality from my youth. So I wanted to get off cruse-control and be better towards others. Sometimes people don't care much for themselves either.
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