|
|
Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
|
posted April 20, 2009 08:13 PM |
|
Edited by Corribus at 20:14, 20 Apr 2009.
|
@Dagoth
Yeah I didn't mean for you to purchase the book. I just wanted you to see what the cover looked like, and read the description.  My guess is that most well-stocked public libraries probably carry this one.
It might also be helpful for any of you out there trying to decide upon a future career, since that's what it's written for.
____________
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
|
|
TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 08:27 PM |
|
Edited by TheDeath at 20:38, 20 Apr 2009.
|
Quote:
Whenever I read your replies I can't help but think of the guys reaction after the goal. It you through and through .
LOL @ the vid.
But now seriously, yeah maybe, since this is not a football or a freaking game thread, why wouldn't I?
Quote:
Don't argue the freakin basics of reality... just admit you're wrong.
Do you even have ANY idea of what you're talking about?
Wrong on WHAT?
Right on WHAT?
That this is not the VW?
That quote wars are not a subject?
Or that the title is "what is love" and not "what is your sex score"?
Is this where I'm wrong?
Can you make less sense than that?
Quote:
When under the influence of alcohol the boarders tend to... fade a little.
but then my question is: why would someone choose to become an animal?
(I assume he/she would still want to be treated as a human, right?)
Paradox. 
Quote:
Seriously though, form your posts I can say that this is exactly like stating person XYZ has to meet ABC requirements without 123 feats before he can be my friend (or for me to like him/her). I deem this VERY immature.
Nah, immature is to have 100 friends on MySpace or have friends that won't even miss you if you're gone. Except maybe just for "effect" or showing off, but not in their minds.
____________
The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
|
|
veco
Legendary Hero
who am I?
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 09:07 PM |
|
Edited by veco at 21:09, 20 Apr 2009.
|
Quote:
Quote:
Seriously though, form your posts I can say that this is exactly like stating person XYZ has to meet ABC requirements without 123 feats before he can be my friend (or for me to like him/her). I deem this VERY immature.
Nah, immature is to have 100 friends on MySpace or have friends that won't even miss you if you're gone. Except maybe just for "effect" or showing off, but not in their minds.
[edit] actually, I won't bother[/edit]
sidenote: only 100? I think you meant 1000
or 10000
____________
none of my business.
|
|
TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 09:19 PM |
|
|
Quote:
[edit] actually, I won't bother[/edit]
Oh come on
Nevermind.
I wasn't exactly 100% talking about your point though.
Quote:
sidenote: only 100? I think you meant 1000
or 10000
Well that would most certainly also be true, though it is implied by the 100. Whereas if I were to say 10000, then this wouldn't imply that 100 is similar (though to a less effect). So naturally I chose one that implies and includes them all
____________
The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 09:34 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Oh, please, I don't need to date a clone of me, anytime soon
Share same interests? Why it's so much better to explore the interests of others...
Also, in my experience, personalities may differ, but that doesn't mean they can't complement eachother...
Or not, what do I know... 
Like Cor said... you obviously don't need a clone, but if you share NO common interests at all.. it somehow limits how well you get together, well, at least it does for me. And no, I don't want my GF to have same exact hobbies as I do, but one shared one would be great.
And from what I have went through on dates, the more or personalities differed, the more I felt annoyed with the other person, so I kinda disagree with you. I obviously won't get along with a mundane (as opposed to my dreamer-type of thinking) person who is strictly a planner (I'm spontaneous), for instance.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 09:45 PM |
|
|
Quote:
I obviously won't get along with a mundane (as opposed to my dreamer-type of thinking) person who is strictly a planner (I'm spontaneous), for instance.
I hope that only applies to gfs, right? Not certain people on HC right?
____________
The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
|
|
Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 09:50 PM |
|
|
@Forge
Quote:
And from what I have went through on dates, the more or personalities differed, the more I felt annoyed with the other person, so I kinda disagree with you. I obviously won't get along with a mundane (as opposed to my dreamer-type of thinking) person who is strictly a planner (I'm spontaneous), for instance.
As in all things, I think moderation is the key. It is true that if your personalities differ TOO much, that can be a source of tension. On the other hand, if your personalities do not differ enough, that can lead to unchecked excess. In other words, some degree of tension or friction can be a good thing, but you're right: too much is detrimental.
A good example of this is spending habits. Let's say that you can divide people into one of two categories: spenders (type A) and savers (type B). The saver is very conservative with money, preferring to save it away for a rainy day. The spender spends money without thinking of it; he buys what he wants, when he wants it, and doesn't worry about the future.
Now consider the 3 possible relationships.
A+A - A relationship with two spenders can be disastrous, for obvious reasons.
B+B - Perhaps it is less obvious, but a couple comprised of two savers can be a poor match also. For one thing, they never buy anything and so their lives can be boring, but it can also be a real problem when dealing with other couples, or when having children.
A+B - True, a relationship of this sort is bound to encounter tension. The saver will resent the spender for spending all the couple's money, and the spender will resent the saver for being a stick in the mud. On the other hand, such a couple will avoid the extreme behavior that is problematic for couples that reinforce their behavioral characteristics.
So, while like-minded couples will tend to have little friction or tension caused by the given attribute, they are also more prone to extreme, potentially ruinous behavior. On the other hand, couples with moderately differing behaviors will experience more tension over the issue at hand, but they will tend to "reign each other in" and lead more balanced, generally happier lives. The same argument can be made with planner/spontaneous behavior, I think.
Of course, you can't categorize people so simply as "all this" or "all that", but I think you get the idea. Sometimes a little controversy is good for a relationship.
My wife is an extrovert who wants to talk talk talk about her feelings, and I'm an introvert who wants to be outwardly as unemotional as a rock. That does lead to some fights here and there ("why don't you ever tell me anything!!!"), but imagine the alternatives: two introverts would never talk at all and two extroverts would never shut up.
____________
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 10:10 PM |
|
|
Death: no, unless you want to be my girlfriend  , I don't mind whether you are a planner or spontaneous, same for the rest of HC and friends in general.
Cor, to be honest , judging how my sister's marriage works, I'd say it's the opposite way: the spender will blame the saver for being a scrooge, and the saver will constantly blame the spender for the lack of money. It may work if they are rich and planning what to do with every coin is out of the picture, but that's the whole problem, imho: opposites will "cover each other's flaws" only when the situation is fine. They simply differ too much to be in unison when it comes to decisions at critical moments, and that means arguments, and a failed marriage, I think. That's partially how it looks in my sis' marriage.
And how about a sexual argument? Person A is rather prudish and wants missionary only with lights out, Person B is all for innovations. In relationship A+B, person A will be happy because he/she doesn't need much, person B will be annoyed and unsatisfied because he/she is horribly limited and can't do what he/she desires. Which means a fail - most likely by cheating on B side.
on the other hand, A+A will work fine, as they both don't care much for innovations, and B+B will rock, cause they will both give themselves what they are after.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 10:25 PM |
|
|
Well I don't think this is a hard science, of course, and you're right, sometimes when opposites get together (especially if they are REALLY opposites!!), there will be too much tension for the relationship to survive. When you get down to it, there are a lot of reasons relationships fail, but a lot of the time the ultimate cause boils down to failure to communicate and an inability to compromise (often due to lack of communication ). Ultimately there is no "recipe" for an ideal successful union - I think that most couples can be successful, provided they really talk to each other, which sadly doesn't happen that often. The reason I wrote what I did in the previous post is that I know of a number of cases of failed relationships that were due to a lack of a system of checks and balances.
____________
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
|
|
mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 10:46 PM |
|
|
Dagoth:
Quote:
Question: should your partner (luver!) (partner is such a weird term...) be your friend as well? Best friend? why? (don't attack me, I just want to hear opinions)
That depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking for a long-term stable relationship (and, IMO, that's the only kind you should be looking for), then yes. Why? Because otherwise it just doesn't work, as Doomforge's experience shows.
Quote:
Does anyone of you believe that love is a rational choice?
Not always. But the kind of love that works is.
Corribus:
Just because she's your best friend doesn't mean the two of you have to be identical. 
Quote:
For instance, having two INTJs in a relationship would be a disaster - they would never talk to each other!
As an INTJ, I respectfully disagree. Of course, while INTJ is an uncommon type, it is even less common among females - but, I assure you, if I was to be with a girl with my same personality type, "we would never talk to each other" would hardly be an accurate description. Indeed, INTJs would find a great deal in common.
And I shudder at the through of being with an ESFP.
Quote:
B+B - Perhaps it is less obvious, but a couple comprised of two savers can be a poor match also. For one thing, they never buy anything and so their lives can be boring, but it can also be a real problem when dealing with other couples, or when having children.
Could you expound more on this? Because my parents are both savers, and it's hard to say that their lives are boring because they don't buy anything.
____________
Eccentric Opinion
|
|
Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 10:58 PM |
|
Edited by Corribus at 22:59, 20 Apr 2009.
|
@mvass
Quote:
As an INTJ, I respectfully disagree. Of course, while INTJ is an uncommon type, it is even less common among females - but, I assure you, if I was to be with a girl with my same personality type, "we would never talk to each other" would hardly be an accurate description. Indeed, INTJs would find a great deal in common.
Well, I was speaking mostly tongue in cheek. I'm an INTJ as well (well, I'm actually just on the border between INTJ and INTP, tending toward the later as I get older). My wife is definitely NOT an INTJ - I can't remember what she tested as, but she's definitely an E. Living with an E is exciting - vexing at times but always interesting. I can't imagine living with another introvert. I can't really tell you why, but there's a nice dynamic between us that I just wouldn't have if I was married to another antisocial freak just like me.
Quote:
Could you expound more on this? Because my parents are both savers, and it's hard to say that their lives are boring because they don't buy anything.
I said can be, not will be, and if I used the word boring, that's not really what I meant, so I retract it. Here's an example: a couple of two extreme savers might avoid social contacts with other couples because of a reluctance to spend money. This can put all kinds of stresses on a relationship.
When you have children, a failure to spend money can also lead to other problems/tensions in the family, particularly when the child compares what he/she has with what the neighbor's children have.
I guess what I'm getting at is that when you don't have any contrast between two people, you narrow the scope of your likely behaviors. In addition, when you're with someone who is almost identical to you, you do not learn how to compromise and dialogue, skills which are necessary for a long-term relationship. If you don't learn to practice swimming in the baby pool, when something big comes up, it's like throwing the relationship into an icy river and expecting it to survive. People underestimate the amount of work that any relationship takes - it take dedication and practice and work to live with and love another person. The payoff is enormous, but if you don't learn how to deal with little problems as you go, you will be unprepared for the big problems you will inevitably meet.
____________
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
|
|
mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 11:14 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Living with an E is exciting - vexing at times but always interesting.
Really? I usually find Es (at least, the extreme Es - I'm fine with the moderate ones) to be somewhat annoying, especially if they're also Fs. Always jabbering about something, and the F just makes it more inane.
Quote:
When you have children, a failure to spend money can also lead to other problems/tensions in the family, particularly when the child compares what he/she has with what the neighbor's children have.
Hmm... That sounds rather stereotypical. It's one thing if the parents are poor, of course. But if the parents aren't poor, just savers, then I don't think it'd have the same effect. Indeed, it may actually be beneficial. For as long as I've been aware of how much money people make relative to each other, I have always looked at families who are poorer than mine, and yet have a half-dozen TVs, half of them big-screen (and my family has only had one TV at any given time), and thought, "You people don't have that kind of money. It's not good for you to overspend like that." So I'd say it's helped me much more than it's hurt me.
Quote:
The payoff is enormous, but if you don't learn how to deal with little problems as you go, you will be unprepared for the big problems you will inevitably meet.
On the other hand, if you are more different, then you will fight more often - and fighting certainly puts more of a strain on a relationship. And the more similar you are, the less likely you are to fight - and the fights you do have will probably be smaller.
____________
Eccentric Opinion
|
|
Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 11:27 PM |
|
Edited by Corribus at 23:33, 20 Apr 2009.
|
Dammit, what is it with you people today? Will you people stop disagreeing with me, already? It's most annoying.
Quote:
I usually find Es (at least, the extreme Es - I'm fine with the moderate ones) to be somewhat annoying, especially if they're also Fs. Always jabbering about something, and the F just makes it more inane.
EF's have some uses. I think. Thankfully, they're too busy telling everyone about their feelings to mount a serious threat to our dominance over the earth. They also taste great. I eat them for breakfast. 
Quote:
On the other hand, if you are more different, then you will fight more often - and fighting certainly puts more of a strain on a relationship. And the more similar you are, the less likely you are to fight - and the fights you do have will probably be smaller.
Well, obviously. I think there's a happy medium to be found. But it is healthy to fight now and then. I'm not talking kicking down doors, black eyes, and what not. But healthy arguments.
Besides which there are some other... benefits... to making up afterwards.
____________
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
|
|
mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 11:31 PM |
|
|
Ah, yes, that's true. I'm just not a fan of fighting, because I'm very stubborn and unyielding, which is sometimes a bonus (the other person just says, "Okay, I give up!") and sometimes the opposite (the fight becomes worse than it has to be).
____________
Eccentric Opinion
|
|
Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
|
|
posted April 20, 2009 11:41 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Ah, yes, that's true. I'm just not a fan of fighting, because I'm very stubborn and unyielding, which is sometimes a bonus (the other person just says, "Okay, I give up!") and sometimes the opposite (the fight becomes worse than it has to be).
Just remember: sometimes a tactical retreat is needed in order to win the war. If you're selective in the battles you choose to lose, you have greater leverage in the ones you really want to win.
____________
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
|
|
kesnar
Famous Hero
from Kesnaria
|
posted April 21, 2009 01:55 PM |
|
|
F**k Life...
We wer talking with the girl earlier and she told me about a guy she likes...f**k it all...I am going to jump off a high building...or not..I don't know what I'll do...F**king everything...
____________
|
|
Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
|
|
posted April 21, 2009 02:07 PM |
|
Edited by Azagal at 14:58, 21 Apr 2009.
|
Please dude... you're 15. You'll laugh about it later. And come on... telling someone the person you're into is not something you usually do so she must like you in one way or another. Be contend with that, it's pretty much an achievement in itself.
Now now you'll get over it, trust me.
____________
"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
|
|
kesnar
Famous Hero
from Kesnaria
|
|
posted April 21, 2009 02:51 PM |
|
Edited by kesnar at 15:06, 21 Apr 2009.
|
OK I am alive
Well I got it a little hard...But now I am not so bad...
(God bless Diafana Krina...)
____________
|
|
phoenixreborn
Promising
Legendary Hero
Unicorn
|
|
posted April 21, 2009 02:54 PM |
|
|
That sucks Kesnar. 
____________
Bask in the light of my glorious shining unicorn.
|
|
winterfate
Supreme Hero
Water-marked Champion!
|
|
posted April 22, 2009 12:19 AM |
|
|
@Kesnar: Chin up. You're too young to even think about high buildings.
Let alone think about climbing them to throw yourself off. 
@PhoenixReborn: Agreed...but c'est la vie. S'all good in the end. 
Sometimes it's just more important to have friends that care.
____________
If you supposedly care about someone, then don't push them out of your life. Acting like you're not doing it doesn't exempt you from what I just said. - Winterfate
|
| |
|
|
This Popular Thread is pages long: 
