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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted April 19, 2007 02:51 PM |
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I am sorry to hear that Guitarguy.
Rest in Peace dude 
Well I hope everything works out for you Guitarguy.
But with my update, everything was going so well, my sister was at my oma's house, and it was just me, my dad and my mum at home.
Yesterday I went with my mum to do the shopping, which I have not done in such a long time, and I enjoyed it, because me and my mum had fun and everything, and recently my family (excluding my sister), has been getting along really nicely, just the three of us, having fun and just being nice to each other.
We have not had a fight for this entire week, and it has been really awesome.
But today, when my dad got home from work, I was puzzled where my mum was, because early in the day she went to the Doctor's to have a checkup, and that was at about 1 pm, and my dad gets home at about 6 pm.
Well I asked him where mum was, and I found out she was in Hospital, her bad asthma had come again, and she was wheezing and everything.
I was shocked, because she was going really well, and I didn't hear anything wrong with her at all, so this came as a big surprise to me.
And to think, yesterday was so much fun spending time with her, and today I hardly got to spend time with her cos she got sent to Hospital....again.
I just hope that she will be OK, and recover fast
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted June 03, 2007 10:45 AM |
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Well perhaps I should add some stuff that has been happening in my real life..........
Well, I shall start by talking about my School life.
A couple of weeks ago, I had to have a meeting with my principle, as I had gotten suspended for disobeying my year coordinator.
And because of that incident, I nearly got expelled.
Well, perhaps I should tell you the incident.
Well it was in the morning, classes had not started yet, and I usually play some basketball in the morning with friends on the basketball courts.
But for some strange reason, we were not allowed to play on them in the morning. My year coordinator walked away after telling us that we could not play, so I just bounced the ball around for a while. I then told my friend that I could make a shot from a little away from the hoop. I took a shot from my position, and I missed, but unfortunately me year coordinator had saw what I had done and started walking over.
He came and spoke to me, and I asked him, since that very day I had an afternoon detention, if I could have it removed. We argued a little bit, as I did not think that the Afternoon detention was fair at all, but I did have a lot of time to go and see him about it, but I just didn't approach him, and then he told me off, and I swore, and he sent me to the office to wait there.
I then got sent home, as I had received a suspension for a few days, and I had to have a meeting with the principle in that same week, and I was given one more chance.
Now, about a week or so ago, well let's say 1 week and 2 days ago, I got into a small fight, and here is what happened:
Well it was period 2 of the day, a Friday, and all was going well.
I was on the second story of the building, and was standing near an elevator, waiting for my teacher to come (since our classroom door was right near the elevator), and when I got up there, there is this kid, sorta like me, who was about to go down in the elevator, but I was urged to put my foot in the door so he could not go down.
I did this several times before that kid punched me in the face, it was not a hard punch, pretty soft actually, but nonetheless still a punch.
I did not do anything.
Now, as I was about to do this again, a younger kid then myself, same year as the kid who was trying to go down in the elevator, came, told me not to do it and pushed me.
I retaliated and got the kid in a headlock, and it was then broken up, and he somehow managed to get a punch on my face.
I was held back by friends as they know what I am capable of, and what I would have done to him, if no one was there to hold me back. I was then sent to the office to go to my year coordinator, but he was not in at school that day, so I had to talk to some other year coordinator and just tell him what happened.
The teacher who witnessed this event lied, as he claimed that I rammed or attempted to ram the kid's head into the lift door when I had him in a headlock, and that I punched the kid twice, and my friends and myself know that I did not do that at all.
My punishment was that I got a suspension (which is this coming Wednesday), and that I cannot go on the Year 11 Retreat (not that I really wanted to go in the first place, but still).
I also might be getting expelled for this incident, as I was put on a contract (got put on it and signed it a couple of weeks ago when I had to see my principle).
So me getting expelled is not what I am looking forward to, in fact, if I do get expelled, well my possibilities in life are really narrowed down, and I really want to go to a University of Electronic Music, but I can't if I do not pass my HSC (High School Certificate).
This is definitely something that I regret, and I know I should not have got that kid in a headlock, or stopped the other kid from getting down in the Elevator.
My actions were stupid that day, and I know that I have done the wrong thing.
One thing that I am a bit annoyed about is the fact that the teacher who wrote the report, who witnessed this event, lied, and since because of my past, it is likely that my year coordinator, vice principle and another year coordinator, will believe the other teacher more then they will me, and also another reason is that the teacher is in authority, and I am not.
My mum believes me, that I did not punch the kid twice and that I did not attempt to ram his head into the lift door, or ram his head into the lift door.
The only real fun I can have these days, seems to be in making music, and at times, I try and hide my sadness, frustration, anger etc while making music.
I guess me making music, is a way of calming down, forgetting what is going on inside me and out in the real world, and just me focusing on the music, and I guess it is another kind of escape for me.
Another way is by talking to my friends online.
I do not have a chance to talk to friends in RL, so I talk to my rl friends, online, and my online friends, online 
With some of my friends, I can talk about my problems, what is going on, and hopefully get listened to.
That does not happen with some people in RL, I mean some of my friends, I know, would not want to listen to my problems.
Sure, that might not be a real friend or anything, but I guess I can sorta know why they don't wanna listen.
It can get a bit complicated at times.
All I know is that I am not doing the best at the moment, but I know there are people way worse.
I guess I have to be calm and relaxed when I have a meeting with the vice principle and principle, and accept whatever they decide to do.
I just wished that I was a bit smarter and that I did not have ADHD or ODD at times.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted June 03, 2007 01:00 PM |
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tough break
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John says to live above hell.
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted June 03, 2007 01:06 PM |
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Yeah.....tell me about it
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted June 03, 2007 01:13 PM |
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Just do exactly as you are expected to and don't question any order or think for yourself and you'll be fine 
What school do you go to?
____________
John says to live above hell.
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted June 03, 2007 01:15 PM |
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St Eddies.
A good school, just sometimes I think that some things are a bit unfair, but doesn't everybody when they are at school
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted June 03, 2007 06:07 PM |
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William you have ADHD?
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Homer171
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 03, 2007 06:55 PM |
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Hang in there Will 
Just play it smart. Be polite and don't explain too mutch. Just express that you where the victim of circumstances. You lost control for short period of time... etc. (Next thing they do is call white jacket mens to carry you to loony-toon world ) Just kidding. It will go fine.
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Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
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antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted July 27, 2007 09:00 PM |
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Love is an angel in disgise,it dissapears early in the mornign...
or wwas it something like this?
Let me tell you a story.
As meny know i volonteer in a police,and we have power there,but m not going to eleborate on this.
I'm going to speak about a "college" .
She is 9 years older,strong female,who i like to adrass as Amazon.
She is strong minded and sharp witted,very political,very truth-looking.
Very angery person.
I still invlove that realtinship of thing that i posted earlier,but with the amazon,i think i did fell for her,i dont really consider it as a crush. It's more.
My 'Date' is aware of it,but since we are "polymiric" it doesnt much bothers her more then her dates bother me.
Some time i go i spilt my heart to her,but nothing much went out.
She was toying me,she plaied me as a yo-yo,teasing me,helpfully i couldnt resist.
Untill latly,fallowing advises from my date,trying to tame her,and playing hard to get.
A frinde,form there,Knew of my feelings,went with her today.
before they left,i asked him where they ware,not knowing they ware together at the same place.
He said there going to have fun together.
I smsed if i can join them,no replay,i called,she said why do i interupt. I said sorry i intrupted,and closed the call.
Now i dont know why Do i feel offned or insulted,or betrayed.but it annoys me.
Now I see him on msn,but i speak with him not.
Even if he tricked me,i'm still gona show him im upset.
What should i do?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stuff at home do not change. My arguments with my perents drove me to run away from home for a week,i got drunk in 3 pi*** as they say in russian.
I lived at sevral frindes,and had alot of annyonomos sex in that period,untill thing cooloed down,its the third time this year?
I kinda've spilt my heart now.
My frindes drove to Naaharia for drinks and chicks. I'm not in the mood,so i skiped it,wished them fun.
My life seems like a circule of responciblity,and been taken advantge off.
____________
types in obscure english
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Setitetart
Known Hero
Reality check....
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posted July 30, 2007 07:02 PM |
bonus applied. |
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Guitarguy…
*hugs to you*
I want you to know that things get better.
No matter how rough and bleak they may seem.
Please allow me to relate to you my story.
I will apologize for the lengthiness of it.
I was born doing an uphill battle.
In my 33 years I have had a lot of dark valleys to trudge through.
Some of them of my own making and choices, and some not.
But there is always a light to follow.
Year: 1973
I was born to a 15-year-old mother and a 23-year-old army father.
(My parents are a story of their own.)
I weighed in at 2 pounds and 2 ounces, almost 4 months premature.
Back then; the hospital that I was born at had nothing in the way of technology to keep babies my size alive. Most just died.
As I was told, they sent for a heating blanket, and an incubator from a different city.
They simply didn’t know what to do with babies like me.
So they wrapped me in this heating blanket and put me in the incubator when it arrived.
They promptly baptized me, and waited for me to die like all the rest.
But for whatever reason, luck, strong will to live, higher purpose, destiny or fate perhaps, whatever you want to call it.
I didn’t die. (Obviously)
Instead I gained ounces by the day, and roughly 2 months after my birth I was allowed to go home with my mother.
I wasn’t plagued by the common health and learning issues premature babies often come with.
My lungs were fully developed, I wasn’t sickly, delayed in my milestones (crawling, walking etc.), or learning abilities.
Fast forward:
My home life was something of a train wreck; I knew abuse and neglect personally.
In my despair, I tried several times to commit suicide, but never had the guts to do it.
My mother had better things to do, and had written me off enough to ship me up north to my grandmother.
While this was a turning point in a lot of good ways, I fell off the wagon so to speak with my newfound freedom.
I made many bad choices, and I found myself pregnant at 17 years old.
I was too embarrassed to tell my grandmother, and had few people I could confide in with my secret.
I had no idea where to turn and quietly hid my pregnancy.
By the time I finally broke down and told my mother, with whom I had a strained relationship with anyway, I was 7 months along.
I had few choices, and no rights to speak of since I was a minor.
I had some very hard choices ahead of me, and the father of the child was little, if any, help.
I had been talked to about the possibility of adoption, but when I brought it up to the father, I was basically called a lot of very ugly names for even considering giving up HIS flesh and blood.
He left me hanging high and dry.
I gave up that child and never once regretted that decision. I knew that neither the father, nor myself could have provided anything in the way of a stable home life. We weren’t even in the same state at that time; neither of us worked or had even finished school.
I didn’t think it was fair to expect anyone in my family or even his to raise my/our baby.
The day I handed him to the nurse and left the hospital without him was by far the worst of my life.
I don’t even think that there are words to describe the pain and absolute sadness that comes with doing something like this.
But there was also a feeling of joy, relief. While I was emotionally distraught, I knew deep down that I had made the right choice for the baby, and everyone involved.
The only thing that kept me going at that time was the idea that he’d be taken care of, brought up well by people who loved him.
It has never ceased to amaze me how doing the right thing can hurt so much.
I found myself back with the father of that child, and I still to this day wonder what I must have been thinking to be swayed enough to come back to him after all the rotten things he’d said and done.
Must have been good whatever he said because not only did I end up marrying the man, but also we had ANOTHER child.
Dark times indeed. This time I met adultery, spousal and drug abuse.
I finally got my head on straight and left him. I took our son and moved back home where I (thought) I had some support.
I didn’t have the support that I thought I would.
I had to take jobs that would keep a roof over our heads, the bills paid, and food in our mouths.
I won’t lie, it was rough. It’s like being thrown into the deep end of the pool without knowing how to swim.
You learn to swim quickly lest you sink.
The father bamboozled me yet again, and this time he took off with our 2nd son.
You can imagine by this point I was slapping myself upside the head for believing anything that ever came out of that man’s mouth.
The custody battle stretched over 6 years and there was many times over the course of those years that I was in a very dark place.
It was almost as if I was on a self-destruct course and I was hell bent to do myself in.
I poisoned and abused myself, was reckless and could have cared less.
I had taken up the idea that what the hell did it matter anyway?
I didn’t love anyone, least of all myself.
I didn’t trust anyone, least of all myself.
I didn’t respect anyone, least of all myself.
Utterly hopeless, and not even blissfully ignorant about it.
I overdosed on drugs. Hard drugs.
I was scared, too scared to move even to take myself to the hospital.
I knew I was in bad shape.
So I just closed my eyes and waited for the end to come.
I gave up because after all, what was the point?
But the end didn’t come.
I woke up, god knows how many hours or days later.
And from that point on I knew I’d been given another chance.
I separated myself from the people I was with, cleaned up and decided to move to Chicago.
I am fairly certain, that had I stayed where I was, I would have relapsed and been dead within a year.
In Chicago, I met my husband.
We married about a year after we met, and are still married today 10 years later.
If not for that man, I would not have become the person I am today.
I give him credit for keeping me clean and on the level.
He encouraged me to go back to school, which I did, and was the Valedictorian of my class with a 97.3% standing.
We gained custody of my 2nd son, and have a gorgeous little girl.
We don’t have everything we want, but we have everything we need.
So that is my story in a nutshell, and again I apologize if it was lengthy.
Guitarguy, take heart.
No matter how rough, no matter how bad it seems.
There is always a light for you to follow, you just have to look.
And you always have the support of people here.
Be well and luck to you
____________
"Do you think we should drive a stake through his heart, just in case?"
~ Peter Lorre to Vincent Price at Bela Lugosi's funeral
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted July 30, 2007 07:47 PM |
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Man, this was really tough reading. You've had it all coming against you right from the start, haven't you? But - I'm glad good things are starting to come your way, seems like you've earned it, and more so.
Quote:
I gave up that child and never once regretted that decision. I knew that neither the father, nor myself could have provided anything in the way of a stable home life. We weren’t even in the same state at that time; neither of us worked or had even finished school.
I didn’t think it was fair to expect anyone in my family or even his to raise my/our baby.
(...)
It has never ceased to amaze me how doing the right thing can hurt so much.
I think making that decision is really admirable. Some people describe such an act as selfish and heartless, I say quite on the contrary: Keeping the baby, when you're not ready for it, and have no means to provide for it, is selfish and heartless. Like you say, it must hurt more than anything to do what you did, but I'm positive what you did was the best for the child.
____________
What will happen now?
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Setitetart
Known Hero
Reality check....
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posted July 30, 2007 08:08 PM |
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Quote:
Man, this was really tough reading. You've had it all coming against you right from the start, haven't you? But - I'm glad good things are starting to come your way, seems like you've earned it, and more so.
I have had more than my fair share of things to overcome.
Like I said some of those things I brought on myself for making bad choices, but I dont regret those either because every one of your experiences make you who you are. Good or bad.
As for the things that I didn't have control over, you do what you can...you win some you lose some.
Quote:
I gave up that child and never once regretted that decision. I knew that neither the father, nor myself could have provided anything in the way of a stable home life. We weren’t even in the same state at that time; neither of us worked or had even finished school.
I didn’t think it was fair to expect anyone in my family or even his to raise my/our baby.
(...)
It has never ceased to amaze me how doing the right thing can hurt so much.
Quote:
I think making that decision is really admirable. Some people describe such an act as selfish and heartless, I say quite on the contrary: Keeping the baby, when you're not ready for it, and have no means to provide for it, is selfish and heartless. Like you say, it must hurt more than anything to do what you did, but I'm positive what you did was the best for the child.
Thank you.
It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and still the hardest thing I have EVER had to do.
It was the right choice. I believe that, and for exactly the same reasons you state.
I was far from ready then to be a parent, and the father...well.
*sighs*
Live and you learn right?
Thank you again for the kind words.
____________
"Do you think we should drive a stake through his heart, just in case?"
~ Peter Lorre to Vincent Price at Bela Lugosi's funeral
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted July 31, 2007 05:48 AM |
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In God's Eyes
We're all orphans
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted July 31, 2007 05:56 AM |
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Quote:
We're all orphans
What does that mean?
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted August 04, 2007 09:44 AM |
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Man I hate losing people.
People you will never see in your whole life.
People who die for what they believe in.
It just dont seem right at all.
It's just part of the cruellity of life.
We all lose people.
We just have to be strong & realise they are alot happier now then being in this crazy world with so much hatred & greed.
Never forget them but try not to consume you either.
Sometimes people go way before thier time.
Sometimes they are ready, sometimes it's unfortunate.
You Guitar Guy has to be strong.
Your friend would of wanted you to be strong also.
Dont make the same mistakes I made.
Just know he was a good guy & you have to move on.
It's the only way to survive in this messed up world, or you will get tooken advantage of by life when you get older.
Never dwell on the past.
I know i told you this before but it is hard losing someone you are close to, no matter what.
Just do good in what you do & do good in life, try your hardest, never give up.
That is anyones dream is to try.
Who cares if you fail at something, as long as you try.
Thats all people should care about.
Pick yourself up & try again or move on to better stuff.
Just remember to be tough, show us, everyone around you & mostly, show yourself just how strong you really are buddy.
Memories are stored, not brought out in pain.
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted August 04, 2007 10:00 AM |
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That is why people always say "I should of" or I wish I could of".
You never know when tragic strikes.
Believe me many say the same you do Guitar Dude.
That is why you make choices in your life.
You were not a bad friend but you wish you could of been a better friend is the worst way of looking at it.
You didnt know about what would happen.
If he was still alive you would of never thought of it this way.
Remember you make your own decisions in life.
You were a friend.
Maybe not a good or a bad friend but you were a friend.
A worst feeling would be using him or treating him like dirt.
You were a friend & that is what counts.
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
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Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
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posted August 07, 2007 10:07 PM |
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Edited by Nidhgrin at 22:08, 07 Aug 2007.
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I naturally look towards the future most of the time, even though I enjoy the here and now very much. There are times when I am introspective, but I rarely ever look back.
Today I had an unexpected phonecall with the past, and I find myself thinking through some of the choices that I've made in the recent past.
What if... is probably the most useless question there is to ask, because you will never ever know how things would be now if you had taken a different turn at a crossroads way back. But it's hard not to when someone presents you with a mirror of how things could have been, suggesting you could have been there too.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 10, 2007 03:48 AM |
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Question:
Why not just rename this thread "Emo moments"?
I don't mean to be disrespectful, but when I'm feeling sad or downhill, I don't go to the Internet to whine about it.
____________
Eccentric Opinion
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted October 10, 2007 04:51 AM |
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We are not whining, we are just letting out what we feel.
You know Mvass, some people might not be able to tell anyone what they are feeling in RL, so they come onto the internet and tell people that they know.
This, I think, is what this thread is for, to let people know exactly what has been going downhill in our lives, and maybe someone from here might be able to help them overcome their situation.
That is what I see this thread as anyway, and I am glad that I got some things off of my chest, because sometimes, I would really like to tell my family, or maybe some close friends, but I am unable to do so, so I tell me online friends about it, and perhaps they might have some strategies to help you at the time.
Perhaps someone from here has also gone through that same event that you are going through, and they might be able to tell you exactly what to do in order to overcome it, who knows?
I don't see people coming on here to whine about their problems, but to inform people, and I guess to maybe ask for help, which as it seems, people are doing in this thread, helping each other.
That's my view of it anyway.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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WarLore
Famous Hero
servant of urgash
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posted October 10, 2007 01:01 PM |
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one girl who i really liked just stopped talking to me,just like that,witout any reason
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A Nightmare from below.A hero from Within
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This thread is pages long: 
