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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: What is Love?
Thread: What is Love? This Popular Thread is 224 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 ... 40 80 120 160 200 ... 220 221 222 223 224 · «PREV / NEXT»
fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted June 02, 2018 03:05 PM

ah, thanks for clarifying, ghost. i'll stop being an asshat... for now.

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted June 08, 2018 09:33 AM

I have considered this before - I know the love I feel for my son is real.  Have just lost belief in love between partners...  Love for our children is unconditional and primal as well - to protect and nurture - it's not the same between couples.  In fact relationships that are looking for that are probably going to fail.  So it's all primal - love for family is not the same as the false attraction based on hormones as mentioned above.  Yes, what is love?
____________
uhuh

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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted June 08, 2018 09:41 AM

Listen, I hate to break it to you, but what people calls "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on science

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted June 08, 2018 12:06 PM

I love many females. I've loved some that broke my heart. Anyone who says love doesn't exist, seems to forget the crushing or sharp stabbing pain in their chest whenever that love isn't reciprocated anymore. Love DOES exist. That's why you feel pain when it's missing. Or would you deny that pain, as well? Would you deny the pain parents feel when they lose their kids, or when a loved one is lost? If love doesn't exist, the emotional pain from loss wouldn't exist. You might as well say happiness doesn't exist, and the sadness that comes with the loss of it. Chemical or no, love exists.

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted June 08, 2018 12:37 PM

Convince me that love between non-family members is real and everlasting,  We are in a consumerism driven selfish society where we think our own individual needs are more important than anything.  We have allowed this to happen, capitalism has taken it's toll - it has been a conscious decision to rewire people in this way.  Please convince me I'm wrong.
____________
uhuh

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Galaad
Galaad

Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
posted June 08, 2018 12:44 PM

kookastar said:
Please convince me I'm wrong.


I will in three-four days.
____________
He JVC taught us how to use skeletons. -Ghost

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted June 08, 2018 01:08 PM

If you're not convinced already, it's because you're afraid of being hurt again. Try not to pick douchebag guys(which most females do, because they see them as a challenge instead of a lost cause), and you might be better off. I say might because it could very well be you that's the problem. I don't know, myself, because you never talk to me, kooka.

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted June 08, 2018 02:05 PM
Edited by Elvin at 14:17, 08 Jun 2018.

I see what you did there fred. I approve.

So kooka, why would you not believe in love between two partners? Certainly, people tend to follow their own gain, pick companions based on their life standards and so on but.. how is that different compared to times before capitalism? Even back in time of chivalry, the knights used to be some of the biggest a-holes around. What I find that HAS changed is the amount of information we are constantly bombarded with. When you have so much mental juggling to do, you can easily lose focus of the things that matter to you. It is easy to end up impatient and irritable, more prone to lashing out than be open and accepting. But at the same time we are more free of certain age-old obstacles that plagued couples for centuries so are we really worse off? Or do you think that too much freedom is complicating things?
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.

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tSar-Ivor
tSar-Ivor


Promising
Legendary Hero
Soli deo gloria
posted June 08, 2018 08:40 PM
Edited by tSar-Ivor at 20:45, 08 Jun 2018.

I am with Kooka on this up to a point, love between family members is entirely subjective, I mean I grew up with these people we shared a lot of joys and hurts, but saying love you back to people that I know I don't actually feel anything even remotely close to love is just wrong. So paternal love is not a granted regardless if you get on well, knowing this to be true I can't be alone in this.

As for jackasses getting the cooch, it is not about being a lost cause or someone to save, but men that actually 'act' or do **** other than mope, sure they are ***holes, but far better than a pansy that cannot make up his mind, sure you got a lot of heart but if you cannot bring it out then it is worth **** all, and women sense that a mile off, pity is the best these poor blokes can hope for.

You gotta have guts, and a good noggin between your ears and yer golden, if not, well hope to god that there is a next life where your gene pool grants you access to some balls.

Gotta know what you want and how to get it, people that cannot make up their minds or are plain clueless are the only ones suffering, worst kinds of people are those that would rather settle for a lie of a relationship then convince themselves that it is love. Then they're surprised that they're unhappy or feeling unsatisfied. If you're not happy then find the reason, don't bury it under a ton of material excuses, but again too scared to even try, i.e no friggin guts.

All you gotta do is shine, regardless of how stupid you might look, live - and all life has to offer will open its legs wide to you.

Fortune favors the bold. Not the stupid, nor the foolhardy, but even these types of people are more blessed than the lazy and the cowards.
____________
"What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets."

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted June 09, 2018 01:14 AM

kookastar said:
I have considered this before - I know the love I feel for my son is real.  Have just lost belief in love between partners...  Love for our children is unconditional and primal as well - to protect and nurture - it's not the same between couples.  In fact relationships that are looking for that are probably going to fail.  So it's all primal - love for family is not the same as the false attraction based on hormones as mentioned above.  Yes, what is love?

You have a double standard here. Can anything be more biological than the love that comes with motherhood? You call that primal, in a good sense, but then you call love between partners “false attraction based on hormones” in a bad sense. Decide.

All kind of love is an abstraction, all kind of love has its biological origins. There’s nothing wrong with biological origins, people who think there is, are like people who think just because harmony can be mathematical, music isn’t “magical” anymore. They are only enchanted when things are unexplainable. Mystery has its own charm, I’ll admit that, but overcoming mystery has its own charm, too. That’s the future, that’s where we’re headed. We will still love, we just wont feel like we’ll have to mystify love. Why wont we, because we learn about the relation between our abstractions and our origins with better detail each passing decade. Soon, it will be common knowledge, like literacy is common knowledge now but once it was a privilage.
____________
I admit it, I like it when they are bombastic - Neraus

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted June 09, 2018 05:27 AM
Edited by fred79 at 05:29, 09 Jun 2018.

tSar-Ivor said:
As for jackasses getting the cooch, it is not about being a lost cause or someone to save, but men that actually 'act' or do **** other than mope, sure they are ***holes, but far better than a pansy that cannot make up his mind, sure you got a lot of heart but if you cannot bring it out then it is worth **** all, and women sense that a mile off, pity is the best these poor blokes can hope for.

You gotta have guts, and a good noggin between your ears and yer golden, if not, well hope to god that there is a next life where your gene pool grants you access to some balls.

Gotta know what you want and how to get it, people that cannot make up their minds or are plain clueless are the only ones suffering, worst kinds of people are those that would rather settle for a lie of a relationship then convince themselves that it is love. Then they're surprised that they're unhappy or feeling unsatisfied. If you're not happy then find the reason, don't bury it under a ton of material excuses, but again too scared to even try, i.e no friggin guts.

All you gotta do is shine, regardless of how stupid you might look, live - and all life has to offer will open its legs wide to you.

Fortune favors the bold. Not the stupid, nor the foolhardy, but even these types of people are more blessed than the lazy and the cowards.


lol, you went right off on a rant* there, didn't you? i didn't say anything about nice guys being timid or not putting themselves out there; because that's not the dividing line between snows and nice guys. i'm confused as to how you got that impression. we're in utter agreement about going for what you want out of life; but that doesn't make someone an snow for doing that. lol, were you drunk when you read/posted that?


*lol, looks like "tirade" meant something other than i gleaned from it's use in books. silly me.

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tSar-Ivor
tSar-Ivor


Promising
Legendary Hero
Soli deo gloria
posted June 09, 2018 09:31 AM
Edited by tSar-Ivor at 09:35, 09 Jun 2018.

I never said nice guys, nor was my post linked to yours in any specific kind of way. And no, the drinks came later.
____________
"What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets."

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted June 09, 2018 09:48 AM

my mistake. it appeared that you were referring to my post.

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kiryu133
kiryu133

Hero of Order
Highly illogical
posted June 09, 2018 05:36 PM

"nice guys" are entitled and misogynistic creeps. that's why no one wants to be with them.

and for the love of god, stop saying females Fred. It's extremely dehumanizing.
____________
It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted June 09, 2018 06:11 PM

It is? Also I'm curious what kind of good guys you have met to leave such a lovely impression.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted June 09, 2018 06:11 PM
Edited by fred79 at 18:13, 09 Jun 2018.

Go. Away.


Edit: Not intended for elvin, obviously.

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tSar-Ivor
tSar-Ivor


Promising
Legendary Hero
Soli deo gloria
posted June 09, 2018 07:18 PM
Edited by tSar-Ivor at 19:18, 09 Jun 2018.

I second Elvin's post. Unless Kiryu you were just using the colloquial definition of 'nice guys'. It is actually exactly why I avoided saying nice guys, (but according to the general population this is the terminology to represent what we are referring to, but **** them cause it is misleading, since the "nice guys" are not actually nice in anyone's eyes).
____________
"What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets."

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OhforfSake
OhforfSake


Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
posted June 09, 2018 07:43 PM

kookastar said:
Please convince me I'm wrong.


I'll try, but then you better not end up convincing me love isn't real or I'll cry and it'll be your fault.

I agree with Minion that love is "just" a chemical reaction, but I disagree with the conclusion that it diminishes it.

Everything is a chemical reaction, or physical one at least, but that doesn't mean nothing is of value.
My opinion is that while we don't decide what to feel, we decide how to respond to those feelings. That is in my opinion a large part of the difference between childhood and adulthood, not intending to call you immature, I am sorry should it is perceived that way.
That is also why while we may instinctively have positive or negative feelings towards someone, since those feelings aren't something we choose, they aren't really representative for anything else than hormones or urges, but what we decide based on these feelings is our decision and that is something real and tangible in my opinion.
Like say ones child can act horrible and poop on this girl he likes a lot, but he's still ones child and he'll be forgiven, because we chose to love someone, not because our body necessarily tells us to.

I also want to point out that intrinsically it is not a good or bad thing. We may decide to forgive and stay with someone who abuses us, or we may decide to cast away someone we are truly important to, such as a family member. So I think it is also about trying to decide what is right, be ready to make mistakes and perhaps give up on someone when it comes down to it, but not give up on love or happiness itself, but keep on going finding someone else.

There is of course also nothing wrong with being without a partner or a single mother or anything along those lines. It is your choice, but my point is that your choice that is something real, something you can hold on to, at least until you find a better choice.

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kiryu133
kiryu133

Hero of Order
Highly illogical
posted June 10, 2018 12:20 AM
Edited by kiryu133 at 00:21, 10 Jun 2018.

tSar-Ivor said:
I second Elvin's post. Unless Kiryu you were just using the colloquial definition of 'nice guys'. It is actually exactly why I avoided saying nice guys, (but according to the general population this is the terminology to represent what we are referring to, but **** them cause it is misleading, since the "nice guys" are not actually nice in anyone's eyes).


I was very much referring to the specific group of men who thinks they're owed sex for being "nice", not actually nice men. Hence the "" to single them out.
____________
It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted June 10, 2018 02:24 AM

artu said:

You have a double standard here. Can anything be more biological than the love that comes with motherhood? You call that primal, in a good sense, but then you call love between partners “false attraction based on hormones” in a bad sense. Decide
.


Yes you can see my confusion.  You are all going a great job of convincing me though so thank you (although I'm still confused).

My point with the consumerism rant is that we have become such a throw-away society that instead of fixing things we tend to throw it away and get a new one.  Commitment between partners seems to be going the same way as we focus on ourselves.  

Maybe love between partners can and does exist, maybe sometimes the biological impulses are just confusing - that feeling is so strong that we assume it's love when really it isn't.  Maybe fairytale love does exist.

As for nice guys - we can't have too many of those in the world  Problem is that the bad ones often disguise themselves quite well in the beginning.
____________
uhuh

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