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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted August 07, 2008 07:27 PM |
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What is Love?
I'm kind of in a bad way right now. I'm sure it will pass but for now I need to share my depression with everyone else. I don't know why. I just do.
During the months of April and May my work was pretty slow. The head honchos decided that rather then have all these workers here with nothing to do, why not lay them off until the fourth quarter when things pick back up.
I was one of those candidates.
I didn't mind though because it was like a mini-vacation for me. I got the chance to do more things that with my schedule I wouldn't normally be able to do.
I also met someone. Kind of a fluke. I had just gotten home one Saturday night around 1:30 in the morning when my phone started to ring. I heard some noise in the background and then this voice popped on.
"Hiiiiiiii"
I thought that was weird. I didn't recognize the number or the voice on the other end but being the curious guy I am I responded.
"who is this?" I asked
"My name is Jasmine. You want to come hang out with us?"
"Uhhhh, who are you and...better yet, where are you?"
This conversation went on for a while and eventually we both hung up.
Weird. Then, she calls again the next day to apologize for acting like a fool to me. A complete stranger. I asked if she wanted to hang out for real, minus the drunken stupor.
The next Tuesday we went out for dinner which lasted about four hours before I had to take her home.
We hit it off and continued to see each other nearly every day for about a month. We saw movies together, went out to eat, went shopping, hung out at my place, shared laughs and conversations. We shared everything with each other and it was going great. Three weeks into it she called and told me that she had something on her mind. I asked her what and she told me that she loved me. I was ecstatic! I was falling for this girl as well and I couldn't have agreed more.
From then on it seemed to get better. She liked me for me and that's all I really ask of anyone. Sure I have a few bad habits. I tend to be a bit lazy, I eat a lot of junk food, and I put things off sometimes (part of the laziness I guess).
About five weeks into seeing her I got a call from work. They wanted me to come back. I sat down with Jasmine and told her I was going back to work which was good and bad. Good, I'd start bringing home a paycheck again. Bad, I'd see less of her. I work afternoons and she lives an hour away from me. Getting off at 10:30 at night and then driving out to her place wasn't at the top of my to do list. I wanted to sure but rising gas prices didn't help either.
Instead I would call her from work and we saw each other on the weekends. We still did things together and had fun. Another month went by and then another.
Towards the middle of July we stopped going out and doing things as much. I still live with my parents as many of you know and I've been setting money aside each paycheck so I can get a place of my own. Most of our dates were at my house either watching TV or a movie. We would either make something quick to eat there or go get some fast food. Not very exciting but I didn't have as much money to work with. I was trying to save more. I told her this from time to time but she never seemed to be bothered with it.
Last weekend however changed things. I brought her back to my place as usual but this time my parents intervened. They lectured me...in front of her...about how I shouldn't have brought her back here because it was a waste of gas and I don't have that kind of money.
There was a bit more to it but I won't go into detail.
My dad had brought a new refrigerator home so I helped him unload it off of the trailer on his truck and left my girlfriend and mom alone. Big mistake. She told Jasmine I was in debt and that we should have stayed on her side of town so I could save money. By debt, my mom is referring to my bills which were really no one else's business. I have bills everyone does. I pay mine. I hardly call that debt. Many MANY people have it much worse then I do.
I talked to her about it and even though the whole day was kind of sucky and the mood was killed, we still enjoyed each other's company....I think. We laughed and kissed and hugged and then I took her to Starbucks and we hung out at her house for an hour.
The next day our parents met. Something that we had been planning for a week. We all went to church and then out to eat. Jasmine's dad told me he wanted her back by 6:00 that day so we had two hours with each other. At 5:00 we got on the road and she fell asleep in my car. I got her home, she woke up, we kissed and I left.
Last night however, I got the call. I didn't expect it but it happened.
I pulled into my driveway from work and saw a text message on my phone. It said, "can you talk?"
I replied, "on the phone or online?"
She said, "whatever is easier for you"
I figured whatever. I'll just call her. We talked for a few minutes. She asked how my day was then out of nowhere she said, "I don't know how to say this but this isn't working. You and me."
I was shocked. My mouth was dry. I didn't know how to respond.
I don't even remember everything I said. I know I told her I don't give up easily and maybe we could work things out but it was useless. She said it was a great summer and maybe we could still be friends. That was it.
I was devastated. I really did love her. Now it's over.
What is love?
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted August 07, 2008 07:31 PM |
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I really feel sad for you, Mighty, I really do, but i guess my compassion really doesn't improve your present situation.
You did a good thing by sharing this. Keeping things like that to yourself, is never good.
Take care 
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted August 07, 2008 07:33 PM |
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Would it help if we told you how perfect you are?
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted August 07, 2008 07:37 PM |
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Edited by Adrius at 19:38, 07 Aug 2008.
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I can't really add something here besides telling you how sorry I am for you...
What is love?
Love is complicated.
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted August 07, 2008 07:45 PM |
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That was truly a tragic event, like someone spiked your heart
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted August 07, 2008 08:28 PM |
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Now I don't know anything about your parents, her parents and your relationship with her parents and her relationship with your parents, or even both of you own relation to your parents. BUT - Your parents are out of order to talk about money, that are yours to her like that! They can give you advices and yes ofcourse it would be easier the way they said it, but I think it is out of order! (you are 23 = a little indepence)
Now this is where I get prejudiced, because after your parents meet, she breaks up . Hn? I don't want to cause any trouble here - But it just seems weird.
But then again, your question: what is love
Strapping Young Lad - Love? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeG-6bpeUkA
MARCH!!!
LOVE...is a way of feeling
Oh, LOVE is a way of feeling less alone
So what's all the fuss about?!?
"snow IT"
LOVE: the paradox of needing
OH LOVE,
MAKE WAY FOR BREEDING
(Give it to me)x2
I know what I stand for;
I STAND FOR ME!!!
I'll wait for the night to come
So far, suicide at home
For I'm not the man you know
This love it's about control
OH WHAT A FEELING!!!!!
OH WHAT A FEEDING!!!!!
Know the chosen ones, ARE HERE!
ALL HAIL!!!
I'll wait for the night to come
So far, suicide at home
For I'm not the man you know...
This love,
IT'S ABOUT CONTROL(You snower!)
(ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE)
(ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE)
(ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE)
(All in the name of Love...)
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted August 07, 2008 08:38 PM |
bonus applied by Corribus on 01 Dec 2012. |
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It's a really difficult Question...
What IS Love? A Question like this one requires more than just one reply. Such an answer is no one-liner.
There are different kinds of love on the Planet. We love Our Partners, our Friends, Our Children, Our Family, Our Morals, Our Country, Our Faith, Our Possensions, Ourselves. All these can be qualified as love, but all of them are so different. What I'm about to write is not meant as a joke or something to offend/disturb people. It will come straight from my heart.
Love. These four letters form the most complex and misunderstood things in the world, something that is a sentiment, a sentiment that is so powerfull that it can change persons to their inward core. I will now try to explain what I believe love is.
Love is Passion The most intence form of love one can feel IMO is the love for your partner. This love is so intence because it is so instictive. You love her so much, that you will do anything to be with her. You want to eternally accompany her, kiss her, hug her, make her proud of you, flirt with her. You don't withhold big secrets from eachother, and you have tons of respect and passion. If you have to, you will even die, if you could prevent hers. That's what makes it so intence, you can't put a needle between them. If this relation is broken it leaves you depressed, heart-broken ,confused, tormented, often not knowing if or fi not YOU were the cause of the break-up
Love is Caring Love for our Parents and Family, and Later our Children, can be considered another intence form of love. If you want to or not, you are always inclined to love them. You care a lot about them, and would they die one time, you'll be heartbroken and Depressed. You love them as much as you love your parnter, even more, but there is significantly less Chemistry.
Loving is Friendship: Though I am not inclined to hug and kiss my best friends, friendship is a form of true love. You still care about eachother, still the same amount of torment and depression at death, but the relationship is more open. Your true Friend (usually you dn't have more than one) is typically the one you trust above anyone else (except your parnter). You are always ready for him/her, as (s)he is for you, ready to cheer you up in dire times, to give you advice in difficult situations, to give you a shoulder to cry on or a simply smile when you need to.
Loving is Zeal and Dogma One of the most ecstatical forms of love is when I would call Divine Zeal: The Love for One or Multiple Gods. Like most things you love, the faith takes a big place in your heart and soul and has a significant impact on you life-style. This isn't a love for a Person, but is at least as powerful. It again gives you Comfort and Hope and Strength to go on. Religious Zealn like most forms of Love, can blind your common sence and derange your ideas about a certain subject.
Some people don't believe in Gods, but in ideas, in Democracy or Liberalism for Example. Though the context is different, this from of love is is equal to the one of Religious Fanatics for their Deity
Loving is Grief: Sometimes Love can make you feel lonely, so lonely. This happens when you broke up with your parnter, when one fo your Children died, etc. You are grieving for this, whatever the reason was, this is certainly an effect of your Love. Luckily you have always someone/something that can comfort you and save the day, again through true love
Loving is Selfishness Some people love themselves, they are Selfish. They are the ones that find comfort and joy by themselves, but don't care too much about others either. However, this can also be interpreted either. Younger people mostly think thant no one understands them, that the only one who understands them is themselves. They ignore the others and seek comfort by themselves. Though not an Ideal solution, this is merely one to understand and accept past events.
I think these are the main things i could say about Love. I've expirienced everyone of them, and I've written them down as I remember them.
If you wis me to define Love in my own words, I'll do it: Love is IMO a Force between one person and another person or a thing that Drives them towards eachother. They're always there for eachother in the darkest of times, and are a source of Comfort, Joy and Grief. This bond is so powerfull that it has and will disprupt many lives.
I think you for reading this.
Straight from the Heart.
Lex.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted August 07, 2008 08:52 PM |
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I dont really think it was love my dear fishless..
No mean to dissrepsect,but chances are you probbly just had a crush on her and chemistroy let to joybull emotions.
i mean had u no realtinships that last summer or less in the past? warent u devesteted when someone You cared about dumped you?
Love feels differnt
you love not just when you care
you love just when you jelouse
you love when you cant stand the though she isent around you
you love when you smile just becouse she is there
you love when it takes just her smile,to make you all warm and fuzzy
you love when she litterly breakes your mind,soul and spirit,and all you can do is smile and blush.
you love when just a touch of her is like a blessing
you love when the idea of not spending life time with that person is ludcariss and above all nuts
you dont find love,love finds you,and you love it.
My 2 cents.
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types in obscure english
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted August 07, 2008 10:33 PM |
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@emilsn: Her parents liked me as far as I could tell. I always had her back by her curfew, I was respectful of them, and so on and so forth.
My parents on the other hand...yeah...not so much. They're always there for me but a lot of what they do...actually a lot of what my mom does tends to be destructive in a way. I don't think she does it on purpose and when I tell her what's going on, she usually gives me advise on how to fix it.
For instance, when I started back at work I couldn't see her as much so we would call each other quite a bit. She'd call me in the morning or send a text message. I'd call her back. I would call her from work and also on my way home.
My parents and I have a deal, as long as I pay for the cable and internet, they cover the phone bill. Apparently we went over our minutes by a lot and we were charged an extra $200. My parents blamed it on me. I believed them because yeah, I had been talking to her a lot. I called her up and told her what was going on and that I couldn't really talk to her on the phone until the new billing period started.
As it turns out nobody bothered to look at the bill and see that it was actually my mom who used 1400 minutes. I only used about 250. I still paid part of the bill but that kind of messed some things up between me and her. I told her what had really happened and I guess that must have added to things. I don't know. That's just one example though. Needless to say my now ex-girlfriend didn't really like my mom.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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OmegaDestroyer
Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
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posted August 08, 2008 12:03 AM |
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Weak. Super weak. I'm sorry to hear of your plight MightyMage. Nothing worse than people trying to help and making things worse.
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The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted August 08, 2008 06:27 AM |
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It seems even my co-workers picked up on the fact that something was wrong today.
I usually try to keep my personal life and work separate. What I do outside of work and all that is my business. Besides, if anyone who works under me were to find out that I was...dare I say HUMAN...
I've always been that way. I have some friends at work. We talk and hang out and all that but I limit the discussions of my personal life even with them.
I guess my overall demeanor and silence (I really didn't feel like talking to anyone) either worried people or had them concerned. I really didn't want to talk about it but after being questioned by like the 50th person I finally gave in. responses ranged from "wow, that sucks man. Sorry to hear it" all the way to "want me to bomb her house?"
Yeah, they're a special bunch.
I think talking about it was good though. I need to get back into my normal good mood. It will be hard and I may have to fake it for a few days but I have to get over it. I can't let it affect my daily life. Being all depressed not only sucks for me but I'm sure others don't want to see me moping around.
It just happened and it keeps re-playing over and over in my head. I think there must be a set of stages I'm going through because I've noticed a transition. I went from anger and confusion last night (I didn't get any sleep either), to sadness and a bit of confusion mixed with a hint of snowness in the morning, to all out depression in the afternoon.
Since she wasn't very clear on anything I've been thinking to myself all day. Was it me? Did I do something wrong? If I did why didn't she tell me or drop a hint or something?
Maybe her friends got involved? What if there was another guy?
I'm still so confused and earlier this morning (just when the hint of snow started to kick in) I saw that she was online. I logged into AIM just on the off chance that she wanted to explain herself. An hour passed and I didn't get anything from her. I expected that but I was kind of pissed. I put my away message on and it looked something like this:
I have all these questions. Wish I had answers.
I wish I knew what was going through her head but I don't think she even knows.
It's been a great summer? Really?
The reason I added that last bit was because those were some of the last words she said to me. "Don't me me wrong, it's been a great summer..."
It sounded to me like she was calling it a fling. and that literally bugged the hell out of me.
She must have read it because she responded with a blog on Myspace. A very angry blog.
"First off, I don't have to explain ANYTHING. Fact is, it is what it is and it's done with. I tried to be nice about it, but you're acting all cocky. Yes, it's been a great summer. I don't think you can handle the truth. I don't think that you will like what you hear. Just don't make this a bigger deal than it already is. In the long run, this is the best for the both of us."
Is it really? because I feel like s**t.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted August 08, 2008 06:57 AM |
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Quote:
What if there was another guy?
Dont go there,Trust me.
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types in obscure english
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted August 08, 2008 07:05 AM |
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@MightyMage: This doesn't solve anything, but *hug*
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How exactly is luck a skill?
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted August 08, 2008 07:27 AM |
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Edited by Azagal at 08:31, 08 Aug 2008.
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Hmm...
First of all I'm happy about this part. Honestly!
Quote:
I think talking about it was good though. I need to get back into my normal good mood. It will be hard and I may have to fake it for a few days but I have to get over it. I can't let it affect my daily life. Being all depressed not only sucks for me but I'm sure others don't want to see me moping around.
That's exactly the way to go . That may sound like your standard "You'll get over it" pad on the shoulder but it really means something coming from you (being the one who is devasted one tends to not think clear but atleast knowing how things should be is already a really positive thing in this stage)
But now to the matter at hand (please keep in mind that I can only help you so much since I don't know your ex so I'm only suggesting)
I believe that when she said she loved you she was actually meaning it. I'm pretty sure she must have had some relatively serious problems when she started to meet you and during some of your time in summer. You must have been a great help to her... makeing her laugh in a time when she had problems etc. so naturally she would feel for you. I'm sure she wasn't fakeing anything nor were you any kind of "toy" to her.
But then somehow her problems got solved or she didn't have to worry about them anymore. The direct effect was that you lost appeal. Not instantly of course.
This is how (I assume)it went: Of course she wouldn't stop going out with you because her problems stoped so she continued. Perhaps things went well for at the beginning but she must have felt that things weren't what they were eventhough you didn't change. Perhaps she was thinking if she did something wrong but that is irrelevant and too much suggesting.
The thing is she chose to end it because things weren't what they used to be (and the fight with your parents has nothing to do with her decesion perhaps it merely sped things up for her, as she wouldn't keep trying harder to forcefully fix things now that she know she was finacal factor for you).
This would mean 2 things:
First: She didn't have a fling with you since she was being honest at that time.
Second: It is the best for you if you don't see each other anymore.
(In case I haven't made the reason clear in the above say so and I'll try it again)
Listen... this may all be a bit much theory how things "could" have been I know that. But based on the assumption that she is a good person and on the reactions of hers that you've posted I'm pretty damn sure that things must have been atleast similar to my suggestion.
Naturaly there is another posibility that she did only have a fling with you and she was just enjoying herself on your behalf. But I don't believe that that would be the case since I don't take you for the idiot that would fall for such a girl. But you're the only one who can fully rule this posibility out since I hardly can say that I know anything about you.
But please keep on to what I quoted first in my post.
In case you want to be sure you naturally have to talk to her. But if I may I would like to give you some advice. I think she has a bad consciouss (therefore the angry reaction on her my space thingy) therefore it doesn't help if you talk to her on a "I-want-you-back-this-can-still-work" basis. As soon as you make her feel like she is the "guilty" one(and I assume you did exactly that with your away status message. On purpose or not is irrelevant.) she'll flip(see her myspace reaction). That's why you'll only get the answers you're looking for if you make it clear for her that you won't try to get back together with her if you know why she stoped your relationship. If she's a reasonable person she'll tell you for sure.
And one last thing. Since I don't know how much you do know about such situations some of my advices and assumptions may sound like "basics" but since I don't know how much you've already considered I started at 0. Not because I take you for a fool but because I wanted to make sure you get everything. I by no means mean to lecture you.
EDIT: omg so much text.... sorry but it's hard to explain in few words
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted August 08, 2008 07:59 AM |
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I don't know, feels wrong if she did not even bother to tell you on person but made a blog on myspace. Sure she wants to keep her distance but heck.. Also the line you can't handle the truth, gimme a break.
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted August 08, 2008 08:03 AM |
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I'm sorry man.
There's not much you can do.
It's going to hurt for a while, but you know that eventually you will move on. Eventually it won't hurt and you will be over it.
It's just the transition stage that is the worst.
You should just be glad that a girl called you up and out of the blue you were able to have this relationship !
But it's harsh. I feel for you
____________
John says to live above hell.
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted August 08, 2008 08:03 AM |
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oh and by the way
BABY DON'T HURT ME
DON'T HURT ME
NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
____________
John says to live above hell.
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted August 08, 2008 08:13 AM |
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Edited by Azagal at 08:19, 08 Aug 2008.
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Quote:
I don't know, feels wrong if she did not even bother to tell you on person but made a blog on myspace. Sure she wants to keep her distance but heck.. Also the line you can't handle the truth, gimme a break.
Hmm... I mean he didn't ask her in person either. And nowadays people make blogs on myspace about basically everything (not that it's how you should do things but I thought it was something normal in america).
But I have to admit that this part confuses me too(apart from being a bit dramatic).
Quote:
I don't think you can handle the truth. I don't think that you will like what you hear.
Don't know what she could be referring to as Quote:
In the long run, this is the best for the both of us.
would technically exclude that she is talking about having another guy (being that which is behind the "truth"). And what could be that bad?
Is it wrong to believe that a girl with whom MM spent so much time is not the kind of girl that would write Quote:
I don't think you can handle the truth.
being fully reasonable? She was angry.
Well MM you think she wrote that because she was angry or because she actually MEANS it?
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted August 08, 2008 11:37 AM |
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One thing that helps me 100% of the time...
In the wise words of Snoop Doggy Dogg:
"*****es aint ****"
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John says to live above hell.
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted August 08, 2008 12:15 PM |
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Sorry for you Mighty Mage . I have no idea about those things that might be going trhough your head, for I am young and inexperienced, but I do get the idea that it's not fun.
Your mother sounds alot like mine  . In the future I will make shure to never leave my mother alone in the same room with my girlfriend.
Don't bother thinking about it for too long and just be happy that you are healthy and under thirty years old. 
OFF-TOPIC P.S. Why the wise words of Snoop are cencored? I do realise that "****" is a rude version of "poop" (should I cencor "poop"), but "****" refers to a female dog and is commonly used by dog breeders and other dog people. (should I cencor "female dog"?)
"Female dogs ain't poop!"
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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