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Adrius
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Stand and fight!
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posted August 27, 2013 07:33 PM |
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Hell I actively try to avoid porn and I still end up seeing it now and then...
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mvassilev
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posted August 27, 2013 07:40 PM |
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Try using Adblock?
Anyway, the point is that if you can keep yourself sexually satisfied, then your attitude towards women would be different from if you can't.
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artu
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My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 27, 2013 07:42 PM |
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master_learn said:
There is a term "erotica" as well,Sal.
First example coming to my mind-Playboy.
I mean yes,the lebel "porn" often is applied incorrectly,but you know the difference when you see it.
Erotica is usually a euphemism for soft-porn. There is real erotic art too, of course but it's definitely not Playboy.
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Salamandre
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posted August 27, 2013 07:42 PM |
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Adrius said:
Hell I actively try to avoid porn and I still end up seeing it now and then...
mvassilev said:
Try using Adblock?
The irony.
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artu
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My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 27, 2013 07:44 PM |
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Quote:
Anyway, the point is that if you can keep yourself sexually satisfied, then your attitude towards women would be different from if you can't.
What's that got to do with anything, there are couples who watch porn together.
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mvassilev
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posted August 27, 2013 07:49 PM |
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artu said:
What's that got to do with anything, there are couples who watch porn together.
I mean, if you can keep yourself sexually satisfied - with porn or without it - you'll place a lower importance on sex when it comes to interacting with girls, so you'll be seeing them more as people just like you and less as mysterious women with whom you want to have sex.
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artu
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posted August 27, 2013 07:58 PM |
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Edited by artu at 20:22, 27 Aug 2013.
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Hmm.. Well, if you're horny as in berserk, what you say might be true but other than that I think it's about your character not your temporary/daily situation of sexual satisfaction. People who see women as "objects" instead of persons will repeat that pattern even if you give them their own Harem.
Btw, this also reminds me a related question. Do you people think that a woman incredibly beautiful can ever be perceived purely by her personality by men?
I watched a movie called Elegy about this question some time ago, not a bad one. In the movie, the main character could only do that when the girl got breast cancer (after the beauty was shattered).
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mvassilev
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posted August 27, 2013 08:33 PM |
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artu said:
Do you people think that a woman incredibly beautiful can ever be perceived purely by her personality by men?
Depends on what you mean by "purely by her personality".
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artu
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posted August 27, 2013 08:39 PM |
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Ok, let's remove purity for the sake of simplicity and to avoid the trap of thinking in black & white. Think of a woman telling you a very funny joke, if the woman is astonishingly beautiful, will her beauty overshadow her joke?
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mvassilev
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posted August 27, 2013 09:16 PM |
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Probably not. It depends on a lot of different factors, though, and is also different from person to person.
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Ghost
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Therefore I am
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posted August 27, 2013 09:17 PM |
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also 18-22 have good! Horse pill said  Mean you must try and get learn something  Ok couple buy in shop.. I never seen on www - I don't think www have service to couple. Different video. But I can't watch television. You know document etc Easy!
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DagothGares
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No gods or kings
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posted August 28, 2013 12:52 AM |
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artu said:
Quote:
Anyway, the point is that if you can keep yourself sexually satisfied, then your attitude towards women would be different from if you can't.
What's that got to do with anything, there are couples who watch porn together.
And they're both engaging in pathology.
EDIT: A woman's beauty would at most enhance the joke, I guess, but women I find beautiful usually are woman I like anyway. However, I like to think the perceived beauty is the effect of me liking them, rather than the cause.
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artu
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posted August 28, 2013 12:56 AM |
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Quote:
And they're both engaging in pathology
I really don't link porn directly to pathology. It can get pathological sure, but that's a matter of overdose.
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artu
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posted August 28, 2013 01:04 AM |
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Quote:
A woman's beauty would at most enhance the joke
That's political correctness at its worst.
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DagothGares
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posted August 28, 2013 01:11 AM |
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No, I mean that using porn by proxy in sexual relationships is pathological behavior.
I.E. If you feel that watching two other people having sex enhances your sexual relationship with your partner, then you're probably not too healthy yourself.
Why?
Because you're probably using some woman on top of you as a masturbation aid.
But, you know, at least you're not destroying your environment. And if you and your partner get a kick out of it, who am I to judge?
EDIT: Oh, do explain, artu. I am entirely unaware of this political correctness in which I am engaging.
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artu
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posted August 28, 2013 01:27 AM |
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Look at the context, when the subject is porn, mvass says this:
Quote:
Anyway, the point is that if you can keep yourself sexually satisfied, then your attitude towards women would be different from if you can't.
I object by saying porn's not just about sexually unsatisfied men, there are couples who watch it together. He gets my objection, we move on to something else. Now, that something else is a really interesting question: Does beauty overshadow personality? There is no quick answer to that. However, you don't hesitate to say, it would enhance it which is the most politically correct but BS answer on earth.
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Salamandre
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posted August 28, 2013 01:28 AM |
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Sexuality may need some external arousals and enhancements when you are in a long relationship, and by long I mean 5-25 years with same person, see marriage. Of course a hormonal bomb as a 21 yo teenager can not understand such things, but with time you will see how perspectives change. So no, porn is not pathological for a couple, it may help within various forms, from watching a movie to simply imagine something else, having someone looking at you, or you looking at someone. If harmless, sexual phantasms are the last thing one has the right to judge.
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DagothGares
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posted August 28, 2013 01:59 AM |
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Maybe I'm just really easily charmed, Artu.
Or do you mean to say that any positive reaction a beautiful woman draws out from the opposite sex may have vast undertones of sexual motivation? I think that that's very common and sad, but I also think that:
a) society self-censors
Disregarding the monsters on public transportation and the psychopaths that prowl around starbucks and public libraries on the search for phone numbers, men are capable of self-censoring these feelings, which leads to what you would call "political correctness." This is a good thing in my mind. It keeps us all nice and civilised. I don't really care if an interaction is "fake" or whatever.
b) women can turn a blind eye
Because it's kind of self-destroying if you suspect every positive interaction you have with a man to be sexually motivated. Fyi, I don't mean to say I expect some woman to have sex with me when I hold the door open or when I'm giving up my seat on the train or whatever, but... You know, maybe we'll exchange a few words and possibly get talking and maybe get her number or something.
Obviously, this is not the calculated outcome, but the 0.68% chance of it happening (6.3% for me, because I'm incredibly handsome and charming) is way worth the 3 seconds of holding a door or standing up for 2 more stops. Again, not the calculated outcome. Most people don't do this expecting something to happen. It's a subconscious calculation more than anything.
Lastly
c) Possibly I'm delusional and lying to myself, but I reckon most of my emotional/ sexual needs are fulfilled, so I don't have that much attention for the other sex (instead, I am looking for a member of the same sex to string along my harem. After all: The more men, the manlier it gets.) and I reckon there are men out there who act similarly. I don't think I am drooling over some woman as she is telling a joke.
I think I base most of my interactions with people around my interests, like hyper-violent films and league of legends.
But clearly, I am dancing around the issue, so I decided to put a gun to my head and ask questions.
Would I laugh easier if some cute girl would be telling me a joke? Probably.
Would that devalue the joke?
Maybe.
Can I value a beautiful woman for qualities that do not pertain to her beauty?
Yes, she's probably terrible at league and never produced anything interesting, so I am barely interested in her at all.
Also: Sorry, if this is all unrelated, artu. I was in a talky mood and I was talking about this sort of thing with other people recently, so it all just sorted went out, like verbal diarrheia.
Adrius: In what way do you think porn is degrading to women? I'm curious.
Salamandre:
Quote:
Of course a hormonal bomb as a 21 yo teenager can not understand such things, but with time you will see how perspectives change. So no, porn is not pathological for a couple, it may help within various forms, from watching a movie to simply imagine something else, having someone looking at you, or you looking at someone. If harmless, sexual phantasms are the last thing one has the right to judge.
2 things:
1) Ouch.
2) I Still think it's unhealthy for you and your relationship. But you know, I get that when you're in the desert, sometimes you have to kill your camel to survive for a few more days.
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mvassilev
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posted August 28, 2013 02:33 AM |
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Dagoth, there's nothing inherently unhealthy about watching porn while you're in a relationship. It can be unhealthy if it takes away from sexual activity in the relationship, sure, but that's not necessarily (or even usually) going to happen when someone in a relationship uses porn. Watching porn with your partner (as I've done) doesn't lead me to treat my girlfriend as a "masturbatory aid" at any point. It's just another way of initiating sex.
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Azagal
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posted August 28, 2013 03:14 AM |
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For once I agree with mvass when the topic is women. Nothing harmful or "cheaty" about watching porn while you're in a relationship as long as it's not all you do.
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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