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Heroes Community > Volcanic Wastelands > Thread: We need to learn how to meet and no creep out chicks
Thread: We need to learn how to meet and no creep out chicks This thread is 27 pages long: 1 10 ... 19 20 21 22 23 ... 27 · «PREV / NEXT»
Oddball13579
Oddball13579


Supreme Hero
Thread Destroyer
posted June 11, 2019 10:16 PM

ROAD ROLLER DA

____________
"Everyone is a schlong sucker." - Kayna
"I would have needed to dislocate my jaw to fit it inside my hole." - Blizzardboy

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CountBezuhoff
CountBezuhoff


Famous Hero
Master of the merchant's guild
posted June 12, 2019 01:57 PM

Now look at what you have done. How is Neraus supposed to share his story with us, if we are too distracted by the bananaman to even listen?

The Count
____________
"...Mr Hack... I don't feel so good..."

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Oddball13579
Oddball13579


Supreme Hero
Thread Destroyer
posted June 12, 2019 05:32 PM

Well I was using my finishing move. So now we can move on.
____________
"Everyone is a schlong sucker." - Kayna
"I would have needed to dislocate my jaw to fit it inside my hole." - Blizzardboy

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Neraus
Neraus


Promising
Legendary Hero
Pizza Nazi
posted June 12, 2019 06:06 PM
Edited by Neraus at 18:20, 12 Jun 2019.

I've been trying to take a pic with him for three hours by now, but he won't pose with me, and what's worse, I've been dodging freaking road rollers all this time...

Anyway, a promise is a promise, and I always keep my promises, this is not exactly an update, since no one of the usual suspects are involved, but rather a funny little spinoff (although it gave me an episode of depression, but whatever)

So, 'tis the season of the comic-con of my city, it's a pretty huge event and many came as usual. So, I had a plan, I wanted to dress up as Al from Re:Zero and hook up with any chick cosplaying as Rem or Ram, why this specific idea? Meh, I just rewatched Re:Zero not too long ago, plus Al's attire is the best thing for the absurdly hot climate here, Rem was an added bonus.
Buuuuut as usual things didn't pan out the way they were supposed to and I received the materials yesterday, consider that the whole thing happened between last Saturday and Sunday and you will understand the problem.
So, I had to go like a freaking normie, the only thing distinguishing me being a Sabaton t-shirt the first day and an Evangelion shirt the next, and as you can imagine, I was pretty bummed at seeing all the cosplayers having fun. So, me and my friend passed the day playing retro games, shopping for gadgets, drinking beer and harassing cosplayers. Well... I also had to sing Sabaton songs to people, I even had a request to sing Carolus Rex to a guy dressed like the Lord.
Anyway, at one point we went to the karaoke hall to relax a bit, and lo and behold, the only free places were next to two gals, so... Ok, why not. Well, the one closer to us was wearing a bloody hentai t-shirt, and... Let's just say that the conversation took a strange turn rather fast. Not only that, me and my bestie swapped places so I could explain the... plot of a certain... story.
Anyway, turns out this cultured woman was going to sing a song, so ok, we sat and listened, and oh boy, was she fantastic. Too bad I may have overheard something about boyfriends and just got bummed out, my friend then decided we'd better go, since he was seeing me a bit flustered.
So, me and my bro took a pizza and I was pretty much depressed because rationality kicked in, and I realized I was talking about hentai to somebody, you know, things you don't usually chat about in casual conversations with the opposite sex. So... yeah, pretty much a wasted chance I told myself, despite the doubt of that phrase (which by the way I couldn't even get who said it).

So, Sunday comes, we do more fooling around, I buy a bunch of dark stuff to dress up a bit while my friend was in a... quite frankly too good cosplay, so you know, I took a mask, some rings and called it a day, at least I could follow him while not looking like a fish out of water. So... day goes on, we meet for almost five times a group of girls (of which one was upset I had mistaken her costume), and the "leader" of the pack turned out to be freaking 15! So... We did the rational thing and fled of course.
Nah, I actually started talking about pokèmon and the sort, you know, there are two things, first, the age of consent here is 14, so you know, no crime, and well, talking ain't something bad, especially if you can finally talk about some bloody fan theories about pokèmon, how often does that happen? Very rarely I tell you.

But anyway, day goes on, we end up at the karaoke contest and... LO AND BEHOLD! There she was, the girl from the day before, ready to sing her song, so I clumsily greet her, and wish her good luck by telling her I won't because I bring misfortune, so you know, technically telling her to give it her all and that kind of thing. Anyway, she does her performance, I compliment her and then leave her.
Yeah, and then she won a prize, so even more compliments, and then we leave her.
Okay, so you can already get something here, I wasn't really convinced but part of me did want to talk to her, so it was getting kinda confusing, but we left the building and wandered about, and I didn't see her again...
Well, probably it would have been better that way, I could have found somebody else, but as you can imagine, we meet her, once more, this time chilling out with the friend of the day before in a little square of the avenue. So of course we join.
Aaand basically from that moment I stayed with her until the end of the evening.
So? Did I get anything done? Absolutely not, you see... She's not from around here and she's... drumroll... 16 (almost 17 she said), now the joke would be to say: "I'M GOING TO JAIL!" but I already told you that I'm covered so... We talked for a bloody lot, I even told her my preferences in hentai (not that it's something so complex but you know, things that are difficult to tell to people, heck should I even admit to you that I know what hentai is?), we exchanged drawings, we talked about history, about school about... well many things, we sat there for an hour talking, and later we even wandered about together, so... I got her number, I gave her mine, and you'd say: "Wait Neraeus, why did you say nothing happened, it seems to me you hit it off pretty well".
Here's the bad part, turns out there was a guy in her profile pic, and for your information we took only one picture together, a bad one I might add, where I'm wearing a mask, so you can tell that's not my mug on her pic already. Now, this guy, turns out was at the same event, in the same two days (I could tell by the way she was dressed in it) and he didn't appear for a single moment.
I still don't know who the heck he is, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and put it aside as him being simply a "friend", so I started chatting with her on the phone.
And don't think it was the messages that took the wrong turn, oh boy, if I wasn't so mistrustful I'd even wager I hit the jackpot.
Nope, today I saw she put up another picture of her, with the same guy, and can you guess? She was dressed the same way she was in that Sunday, while in that other photo she was dressed like she was during Saturday.

Now, as you can imagine, the depressing turn is that I think I've been taken in for a ride, and if he is indeed her bf, well... He's definitely crap at it, he left his beloved alone in a convention full of hormone high basement dwellers that would pillage a maid café to bring some slaves home, where shirtless boys were asking for hugs at anything remotely resembling a woman, and worse of all with a bloody raider boss insidiating her (Hello, I'm Neraeus, and I've been king of the Atomic wasteland for a day).
Might I add she didn't mention him at all?

And yes, somebody had a sign with "Slaves for sale" written on it, as you can imagine I immediately run to them and with the most menacing voice said: "CAN WE TALK ABOUT BUSINESSSSS!?", with a studded mask and sunglasses, you can bet they were scared off.

So... yeah, here's the spinoff hope you liked it.
____________
PLVTOCRATIC AND REACTIONARY DEMOCRACIES OF THE WEST
POTERE, LO SFORZO, LA PASTA

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Oddball13579
Oddball13579


Supreme Hero
Thread Destroyer
posted June 12, 2019 07:04 PM

That's so sad, Alexa play Despacito.

This OVA was great. 10/10 would watch again. Much drama. Very intrigue. Many depressions. Such wow.

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Neraus
Neraus


Promising
Legendary Hero
Pizza Nazi
posted June 12, 2019 07:19 PM
Edited by Neraus at 19:20, 12 Jun 2019.

You're supposed to say: This is so sad, Alexa play Giovinezza

No need to thank me.
____________
PLVTOCRATIC AND REACTIONARY DEMOCRACIES OF THE WEST
POTERE, LO SFORZO, LA PASTA

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Oddball13579
Oddball13579


Supreme Hero
Thread Destroyer
posted June 12, 2019 07:21 PM

Alexa play Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels

Much better.
____________
"Everyone is a schlong sucker." - Kayna
"I would have needed to dislocate my jaw to fit it inside my hole." - Blizzardboy

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CountBezuhoff
CountBezuhoff


Famous Hero
Master of the merchant's guild
posted June 12, 2019 08:51 PM

Fight fire with ARMAGEDDON.

The Count
____________
"...Mr Hack... I don't feel so good..."

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted June 12, 2019 09:13 PM

Is THAT why my niece was carried around and picked up/hugged by so many kids at Comicon???

Those little perverts. I'll have them all keelhauled, or my name isn't Captain James Hook!

Smee! Set sail for the next Comicon!

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Neraus
Neraus


Promising
Legendary Hero
Pizza Nazi
posted June 12, 2019 09:36 PM

Oh my fred, what a grand and intoxicating innocence, I wouldn't have expected you to be so naive, it is known that weebs are by definition lolicons, and nerds will jump at any opportunity to get any kind of affection from some angelic lady.

Heck, the first thing I said after she told me she was almost 17 was... "Don't worry, I'm a lolicon, that won't stop this degenerate"

Come to think of it. I regret everything.
____________
PLVTOCRATIC AND REACTIONARY DEMOCRACIES OF THE WEST
POTERE, LO SFORZO, LA PASTA

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted June 12, 2019 10:17 PM

You're not fooling anybody with that. Except maybe the newbs.

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NoobX
NoobX


Promising
Legendary Hero
My Pattern Emerges
posted June 13, 2019 12:27 AM
Edited by NoobX at 00:28, 13 Jun 2019.






Anyway, this little digression made me share a not-so-similar-but-not-quite-irrelevant-story.
This happened recently, a month and a half ago, I think.  I've just come home from uni, and decided to meet up with the gang and go out as is the usual case when I come back.  There's a lot of spots for hanging out in the city that we've claimed, but there's this small sports park with a nice stand that people usually go to when the warmer weather rolls in, so we decided to go there; plus, there was another guy that invited us to his brother's birthday party which was supposed to be held there, so we took the opportunity to crash it, why the hell not.  So we get some beer (three or four 2-liter bottles), we come there first and claim a spot for ourselves.  As we're drinking, people start rolling in.  Some of them came to the party, others came just to hang out on their own, so there were three separate groups, or four counting my own.  Someone was actually smart enough to bring a portable speaker, but not smart enough to check it's batteries, so it died quickly.  We had to provide musical entertainment on our own, and that was perfectly fine because my friends and I are well versed in party music.  Well, when I say party music, I actually mean classics of the Serbian folk music.  Here are some examples, check them out at your own discretion: (May induce ear bleeding in non-Serbian listeners, you have been warned!) Example 1, Example 2, Example 3.  Now that the atmosphere is a lot more jovial and alcohol is running wild like it should at a party, people from different groups start intermixing, and no, not in a sexual way!  The whole place is lit up, people are singing(screaming), getting drunk, getting high, hooking up and all the usual stuff; but after some time our alcohol supplies run dry, so we're put in this ****ty situation where no one is capable of going to a store to buy more, but we all want it.  Luckily, a friend of ours got us covered.  He came from a different town by bus and brought cognac, vodka and most importantly *drum roll* rakija.  All of that stashed in a rather large bag, and it was filled.  I don't know how he managed to get that stuff, seeing that cognac and vodka were expensive; the rakija, however was his own home-brewed brand and one of the worst/best rat poisons I've tasted in my life.  Typical - we jumped on that stuff like there's no tomorrow.  And now the party fired up 'cause we had the big guns, yes.  Everyone flocked to us, asking for a sip or two.  Many have come, few have gotten what they wanted.  Among the distraction I grabbed the bottle closest to me which turned out to be a bottle of vodka, took it and went for a walk around the park.  Ended up on the other end of the place, where some local rockers/metalheads kids were sitting.  I offer them some vodka, but they're like "Nah, we drink beer, dude"... Lightweights.  Anyway, there's this one girl there and she's like "Sure, I want some".  Smart girl, I think, and I wind up sitting next to her.  We start talking, mostly commenting on the party, and at one point I use a jargon phrase common in the city, to which she replies confused "What does that even mean?"  I'm baffled, surprised that there's someone hanging out in the park and not familiar with the contemporary jargon, and so I jokingly reply "What, don't you know?  Where the hell are you from?"  To which she answers that she's actually from Cyprus and that her parents moved there when she was young.  So, I'm sitting there like Oh, daaaaamn, this is awesome!  "Wait, what, really?  From Cyprus?  Then what are you even doing in Serbia?"  And so the conversation drags on; we talk more and keep drinking vodka.  I'm going for it, you know, I am not gonna miss the opportunity when it's so nicely presented.  That is until I ask what uni she'studying at.  She said she's only just finishing her first year of high school.  ----  My automatic response was "Oh, ****, really?" but then I realized what she'd just said.  There was some real quick mafs going in my head.

High school...  She's 15...  I'm 20...  that's 5 years, 5 effin years! What the **** am I still doing here

And that was my signal to nope the f out of there.  Goddamn jailbait.  But my adventures for that night have not ended there...
____________

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Neraus
Neraus


Promising
Legendary Hero
Pizza Nazi
posted June 13, 2019 12:44 AM

Lol, the way I found out was similar, we were basically fooling around and talking about costumes when I said that I wore mail and a Siculo-Norman helmet at the school carnival, and then said like the good old times, my bro didn't remember what year it happened so I said "Y'know bro, fourth year, four years ago", so she was a little bit startled and asked us how old were we.

Best part was that she asked us how old we thought she was, so I basically said between 19 and 22, with good reason, as she said earlier that she studied Japanese for two years, and then she dropped the bomb, third year of high school, almost 17.

Yeah, we were both shocked, but then remember, we met a bloody bunny girl that was hot af but was 15, so... I guess that wasn't that surprising.

Tbh, that didn't deter me that much tho, call me a lolicon, but it's 4 years of difference after our respective birthdays, so... Yeah, there's that.
____________
PLVTOCRATIC AND REACTIONARY DEMOCRACIES OF THE WEST
POTERE, LO SFORZO, LA PASTA

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Legendary Hero
posted June 13, 2019 12:54 AM

fred79 said:
Is THAT why my niece was carried around and picked up/hugged by so many kids at Comicon???

Those little perverts. I'll have them all keelhauled, or my name isn't Captain James Hook!

Smee! Set sail for the next Comicon!


Aye aye sir!

All this talk about dating is boring me, good thing we're going back to piracy. What would the world be like without Captain Hook...

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Oddball13579
Oddball13579


Supreme Hero
Thread Destroyer
posted June 13, 2019 01:17 AM
Edited by Oddball13579 at 19:08, 13 Jun 2019.



____________
"Everyone is a schlong sucker." - Kayna
"I would have needed to dislocate my jaw to fit it inside my hole." - Blizzardboy

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CountBezuhoff
CountBezuhoff


Famous Hero
Master of the merchant's guild
posted June 13, 2019 07:42 AM

That's no jailbait, it's perfectly legal.

The Count
____________
"...Mr Hack... I don't feel so good..."

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Oddball13579
Oddball13579


Supreme Hero
Thread Destroyer
posted June 13, 2019 07:08 PM
Edited by Oddball13579 at 19:09, 13 Jun 2019.

CountBezuhoff said:
That's no jailbait, it's perfectly legal.

The Count


____________
"Everyone is a schlong sucker." - Kayna
"I would have needed to dislocate my jaw to fit it inside my hole." - Blizzardboy

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CountBezuhoff
CountBezuhoff


Famous Hero
Master of the merchant's guild
posted June 13, 2019 10:00 PM
Edited by CountBezuhoff at 22:01, 13 Jun 2019.

It reads left to right



The Count
____________
"...Mr Hack... I don't feel so good..."

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Oddball13579
Oddball13579


Supreme Hero
Thread Destroyer
posted June 13, 2019 10:03 PM


____________
"Everyone is a schlong sucker." - Kayna
"I would have needed to dislocate my jaw to fit it inside my hole." - Blizzardboy

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Neraus
Neraus


Promising
Legendary Hero
Pizza Nazi
posted June 14, 2019 09:05 PM

Y'know the sad thing? This high schooler is the best girl I've met as of yet. Not only is she a sweetheart but she has yet to leave me on read.

And yours truly is overstaying his welcome. I'm so bad at getting signals I fear I'll turn her away.

VERDAMMT!
____________
PLVTOCRATIC AND REACTIONARY DEMOCRACIES OF THE WEST
POTERE, LO SFORZO, LA PASTA

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