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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Tell a joke
Thread: Tell a joke This thread is 26 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 ... 10 20 ... 22 23 24 25 26 · «PREV / NEXT»
JoonasTo
JoonasTo


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted June 05, 2008 10:51 PM
Edited by JoonasTo at 14:11, 06 Jun 2008.

What's a gipsy triathlon?
-One walks to the swimming hall and bikes back.

Why does Stevie Wonder smile so much?
-No one ever told him he's black.

A basist walked by a bar.

What's a white man with sheeps at his both hand?
-A pimp.

How do you know a swede has been at your back yard?
-Your trash can has been emptied and your dogs pregnant.

Why ET is better than a somali?
-ET is prettier
-ET knew English
-ET came alone
-ET had a bike of his own
-ET went back home

To cut off these kinda jokes let's get something better.

I was a lucky one. We had been going out with my girlfriend for a year so we decided to get married.

My parents helped in me in every way they could, my friends supported me and my girlfriend was well...wonderful.

There was only one thing bothering me. Actually it bothered me pretty much and it was my girlfriends mother. She was a gorgeous career lady, smart and really hot. She even often flirted to me and made me uncomfortable.

One day she called me and asked me to come to talk about the invitation cards. I set off and when I arrived she was alone. She whispered to me that she has feelings and urges for me that she couldn't cross so before I married her daughter she'd like to make love with me just once. What could I say?

I was in a shock and couldn't answer nor move untill she said that she'd go wait in the bedroom and if I decided to make love with her I should just come up.

I just stared at her delicious ass as she walked up the stairs. I just stood there for a moment, turned around and started walking towards the door, I opened the door and stepped out of the door.

Her husband was standing outside and with tears at his eyes he hugged me and said that they were happy that I passed the test and that they couldn't ask anything better for their little daughter.

Welcome to the family!

A lesson learned:
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOMS IN THE CAR!!!


That's all for now.
Night!
____________

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Mamgaeater
Mamgaeater


Legendary Hero
Shroud, Flying, Trample, Haste
posted June 05, 2008 10:52 PM

Did you hear about the hitman who was contracted to blow up a car?

he burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe!
____________
Protection From Everything.
dota

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Oscarius
Oscarius


Famous Hero
*sleepy*
posted June 05, 2008 10:56 PM
Edited by Oscarius at 14:38, 06 Jun 2008.

What do a blonde say when u blow air into her ear?

Thanks for the refill.

(ps dont be mad when i mess with blonds, im 1)
____________
Need moar avatars!

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted June 05, 2008 11:04 PM

Here's one of my favourites:

Two old jazzman friends meet.
- You know, I bought your new record lately!
- Ah, so it was you!
____________
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Oscarius
Oscarius


Famous Hero
*sleepy*
posted June 05, 2008 11:19 PM
Edited by Oscarius at 23:21, 05 Jun 2008.

Ok this is for the finish aduiance.
"How do u sink a finish submarine"
"U swim down, knock at the door, then the finish open and says:"
- We're not as stupid as the norwigians"
____________
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MightyMage
MightyMage


Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
HC SUPPORTER
posted June 05, 2008 11:43 PM

The other day when I was on the bus I heard a guy say to his friend, "Man I'm really good at checkers"
Which when you think about it is the same as saying, "Man, I'm not good at a lot of things"



That conversation got me thinking.  Checkers has taught me that a King is a guy with another guy on top of him.  However, life has taught me that that's a Queen.

____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage.  For he is all I could ever
want to be!
- OhforfSake

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radar
radar


Responsible
Legendary Hero
Castle/Haven player
posted June 06, 2008 12:51 PM

Quote:
Don't shoot me...


           
____________

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TitaniumAlloy
TitaniumAlloy


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
posted June 06, 2008 12:55 PM

LOLOL Joonas hahah
every one of those was gold

____________
John says to live above hell.

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radar
radar


Responsible
Legendary Hero
Castle/Haven player
posted June 06, 2008 01:04 PM

Quote:

His husband

____________

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JoonasTo
JoonasTo


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted June 06, 2008 01:11 PM

@TA: Glad you liked.

Edited for you radar and all you people who speak proper english.
____________

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radar
radar


Responsible
Legendary Hero
Castle/Haven player
posted June 06, 2008 01:25 PM

Actually I don't

it just came up funny
____________

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del_diablo
del_diablo


Legendary Hero
Manifest
posted June 06, 2008 01:35 PM

Quote:
OK another norwigian joke.

Time for a joke about the swedish

Why are all swedish houses round? So the dogs can't urinate at the corners!

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Spectrum
Spectrum


Famous Hero
Plan B
posted June 06, 2008 02:31 PM
Edited by Spectrum at 14:32, 06 Jun 2008.

Two norwegian guys meet in the forest, they're both looking for something.
-Hey, what're you here for?
-I'm looking for my wife.
-So am I! What does yours look like?
-She's tall, slim, blonde and has big breasts. What does your wife look like?
-Screw my wife, let's look for yours!

Not very good I know.

There's was a bar in Yorkshire, and on the back yard there was a horse. The bartender was always promising people a free beer if they could make the horse laugh. Many people tried, but no one ever succeeded. One day a man walked in an heard about the horse on the back yard, so this man disappeared out of the door, heading for the back yard. A moment later everyone heard the horse laughing. The man got his beer and sat quietly drinking it. The bartender, puzzled, promises him two beers if he makes the horse cry. Again, the man disappears and after a while the horse is clearly crying. The man came back and got his beers. The bartender asked the man how he'd done it, so the man went:
"Well, on the first time round I told the horse I had a bigger penis than him."
"And on the second time round?"
"I showed him."
____________
Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava

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Oscarius
Oscarius


Famous Hero
*sleepy*
posted June 06, 2008 02:38 PM

Del diablo, this is my revenge

"How do u know tarzan was norwigian?"
"He was the king of apes"

"How do u count in Norway?"
"One, two, three, one more, one more, one more......
____________
Need moar avatars!

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Guarder
Guarder


Supreme Hero
posted June 06, 2008 06:04 PM

Quote:

"How do u know tarzan was norwigian?"
"He was the king of apes"


Yes, you need to be Norwegian to be the king of swedes

100 blondes was in a quiz show, and then the questioner(?) asked one of them: "What is 3x3?"
"uhm....is it 10?"
"No sorry, it isn't"
The other blondes began to shout: "one more chance, one more chance!"
The questioner then said:" well, okay. I say the question once more, okay? what is 3x3?"
"Is it 9?" the blonde asked
and then the other blondes began to shout: "One more chance, one more chance..."
____________

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Mamgaeater
Mamgaeater


Legendary Hero
Shroud, Flying, Trample, Haste
posted June 06, 2008 09:18 PM




____________
Protection From Everything.
dota

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Nikita
Nikita


Famous Hero
Meepo is underrated
posted June 07, 2008 02:01 AM

oh yeh,finally found my settings:

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ismail222
ismail222


Known Hero
The Cataclysm
posted June 07, 2008 09:52 AM
Edited by ismail222 at 14:12, 07 Jun 2008.

A blond found the magical lamp and the genie came out,ready to make the wish :
Genie: what's ur wish?
Blond: i want a bridge that connects one end of the world to the other end
Genie: that's a really hard wish.wish for another one
blond: ok,i want all blonds to be smart
Genie: about that bridge u want it one way or...?

I translated it so it might not be very good,but I did my best.
____________
Ppl griveing,Ppl
Deceving,Ppl lying,Ppl dying
One Word : Life

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Nikita
Nikita


Famous Hero
Meepo is underrated
posted June 07, 2008 10:54 AM

@ismail222--dont worrie your translation was good and the joke was funny.
5 reasons why chocolate is better than sex:
1)You CAN get chcolate.
2)chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
3)when you have chocolate your neighbors are not awake
4)you can ask for chocolate without gettong slapped
5)you can heve chocolate on your desk without upsetting your co-workers.

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ismail222
ismail222


Known Hero
The Cataclysm
posted June 07, 2008 02:10 PM

Good one.

And thanx.
____________
Ppl griveing,Ppl
Deceving,Ppl lying,Ppl dying
One Word : Life

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