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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Tell a joke
Thread: Tell a joke This thread is 26 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 ... 10 20 ... 22 23 24 25 26 · «PREV / NEXT»
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
HC SUPPORTER
posted June 13, 2008 09:44 PM

no, nazism shoots you first then takes the cow.
cambodian takes the cow and then shoots you
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

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Oscarius
Oscarius


Famous Hero
*sleepy*
posted June 13, 2008 09:45 PM

Ahh I understand now

So Cambodian wants u to feel a little sad
____________
Need moar avatars!

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Lexxan
Lexxan


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
posted June 13, 2008 09:52 PM

Quote:
A blonde walks into the barber shop with a walkman. The barber lets her seat and asks to remove the walkman. "No, sir, I need it. it's a matter of life and death." she exclaimed.

Very well, the barber thought and he starts to cut her hair *snip snip* *snip*
Suddenly, he cuts the wire of the walkman. She falls down immediately and dies...

The barber picks up the headset and listens to it. It said: "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..."


Woohoo that's an old one ! And old one, but a good one nevertheless

I got this joke from my former Math teacher:

A man managed to escape from a Moraccan prison. He stole a Jeep and fled through the desert. Suddenly the engine of the Jeep started to sputter and the Jeep stopped in the middle of the Sahara. The man got out of the Jeep and began to walk, and kept walking, walking, walking...

The next day he began to have a insufferable lust for sex. He saw a camel nearby and decide to have sex with it, in order to controll his lusts. He ran to the camel, and as he put is pants down, the camel ran away. The man pulled up his pants and ran after it. The camel stopped again and began to eat from a nearby shrubbery. The man pulled down, his apnts again, but the camel ran away again. The situation kept repeating itself all day. In the late afternoon the man spottred a Jeep. The passanger a sexy, blond young woman had problems with her Jeep and asked the man to repain the engine. The man did so and the Jeep was ready to ride.

The woman was so gratefull to him, that she told him that he could ask anything from her.
"Anything ?" the man said
-"Anything !" the woman replied
"Well if you don't mind... could hold that camel ?"
____________
Coincidence? I think not!!!!

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Nikita
Nikita


Famous Hero
Meepo is underrated
posted June 13, 2008 10:30 PM

nice joke.btw,you have got a great math teacher

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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted June 14, 2008 12:35 PM

Quote:
Woohoo that's an old one ! And old one, but a good one nevertheless
I never heard it before and it was good

Computer jokes:

What's the difference between a virus and Windows?
The virus never crashes...

----

How do you call an Athlon processor that runs without a cooler for 9 minutes?
A processor that was burned 8.5 minutes ago.

----

A guy's printer has been broke and, because he did not know what to do, he called a specialist from a company. The specialist came very quickly and said the printer was not broken, perhaps it needed some clean-up inside. But since the company charges a lot of money for this, he advised the guy to do it himself, by reading the manual, since it's not a complicated operation. The guy, surprised, asked: "Does your boss know what you're doing? I mean, you should have taken the money, even if they would have been earned easily"

The specialist replies: "Well, in fact, it was quite his idea to give such advice, because he concluded that we earn more money after the people try to repair it themselves..."

----

What's the difference between Bill Gates and God?
God knows he is not Bill Gates...

----

A young woman goes to a cosmetic shop.
"I wish my husband would grant me more attention. Do you, by chance, have some perfume that smells like a computer?"

----

Is it true that Osama Bin [Laden] is a relative of Recycle Bin?

----

Two programmers go in a bar: "See that chick there?"
"Do you know what 'properties' does she have?"
"Yea, I tested her, she's read-only."

----

Radiologist (medic) says to a pacient: "I've got two news, a good one and a bad one. Which one should I tell you first?"
"Well, the bad one..."
"It can be seen, on the radiography, that you have a large tumor on your lungs."
"And the good one?"
"It can be fixed in Photoshop..."

----

Two programmers look at a cigarette box: "Hey, look what it says: WARNING: Smoking can damage your health"
"Man, ignore the warnings, the errors are important..."

(if you know how a program is compiled you'll get it).

----

"Hey dude, do you want to know where my parents live?"
"Yeah, give me the link, I can't find it with Google!"

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william
william


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted June 14, 2008 12:38 PM

Lol, very nice jokes. And I understand all of them. Very funny.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~

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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted June 14, 2008 12:46 PM

Thanks.

another one:

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away."

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Galev
Galev


Famous Hero
Galiv :D
posted June 14, 2008 01:45 PM

What is similar in the crocodile and the computer-desk?
-Absolutely nothing. ^^
____________
Incidence? I think it's cummulative!

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eugen_cosmarul
eugen_cosmarul


Famous Hero
Still Alive.
posted June 14, 2008 01:57 PM

Somali jokes


-How do you recognize a rich somali?
-He has a rolex on his neck.


-What's the hardest race track in the world?
-The one with tha rice truck through Somalia.


-Did you hear about that somali that felt in the crocodiles' den?
-No, what happened with him?
-He ate 3 of the crocodiles until the zookepers intervened.


-Where's the highest denseness of population in Somalia?
-It depends on the winds.
____________

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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted June 14, 2008 02:08 PM

Quote:
What is similar in the crocodile and the computer-desk?
-Absolutely nothing. ^^
That reminds me:

What's the difference between an eagle and a mole?
They both crawl underground, except the eagle.

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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted June 14, 2008 02:36 PM

Romanian joke

An english guy, a french guy, a hungarian and a romanian are on a boat that is sinking, unless it is repaired. The four decide to randomly choose from a bowl with their names, and the one picked will be the one who goes into the water and repairs the boat.
First pick is englishman. He shouts "Long live the Queen" and dives into the water. After minutes of waiting, the boat is still sinking, and the three remaining decide to pick another one.
Second pick is french. He shouts "Vive la France" and dives into the water. Again, after minutes of waiting, the boat is still sinking.
Next pick is romanian. He shouts "Traiasca Romania Mare" and pushed the hungarian into the water.


("Traiasca Romania Mare" means "Long live the Great Romania" or something)

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Galev
Galev


Famous Hero
Galiv :D
posted June 14, 2008 04:25 PM

Quote:
Romanian joke

He shouts "Traiasca Romania Mare" and pushed the hungarian into the water.


("Traiasca Romania Mare" means "Long live the Great Romania" or something)


Nya-ha-ha-ha!

No offens meant:

How do you call when a person continuously pilfer?
-Cleptomania.
And when a whole country?
-Romania.

Székely/Szekler joke:

The Szekler has a baby boy but he seems to be dumb. The family is sad but they acquiesce in it. Many years later, at lunch the son suddenly says:
"Mother dear, this soup ins't salty enough." The whole family cheers and everyone is happy. After a while the parents ask:
"Dear son, why haven't you talk yet?"
"It was salty enough till now."
____________
Incidence? I think it's cummulative!

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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted June 14, 2008 04:28 PM

Quote:
How do you call when a person continuously pilfer?
-Cleptomania.
And when a whole country?
-Romania.
We have jokes like that here everywhere.

Quote:
The Szekler has a baby boy but he seems to be dumb. The family is sad but they acquiesce in it. Many years later, at lunch the son suddenly says:
"Mother dear, this soup ins't salty enough." The whole family cheers and everyone is happy. After a while the parents ask:
"Dear son, why haven't you talk yet?"
"It was salty enough till now."
hehe

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OmegaDestroyer
OmegaDestroyer

Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
posted June 14, 2008 04:34 PM
Edited by OmegaDestroyer at 17:28, 14 Jun 2008.

A guy and his lawyer are walking down the street, when the guy sees a really gorgeous woman walking towards them.  
The guy says "Man, I'd like to screw her."  
"Out of what?" asks the lawyer.
____________
The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down

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Lexxan
Lexxan


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
posted June 14, 2008 05:23 PM

A Scotsman (from Scotland) goes on a vacation to London. At Heathrow he stops a Taxi (or a cab) and asks the Driver

Scotsman: "Excuse me Sir, but how much does it cost to bring me to my hotel
Driver: "About Ł56, sir"
Scotsman: "Oow, that's much. And how much does it cost do get my luggage to the hotel ?"
Driver: "Tha'll cost you nothing, sir."
Scotsman: "Well, in that case, could you bring my luggage to the Hotel ? I'll walk."
____________
Coincidence? I think not!!!!

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Asheera
Asheera


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
posted June 14, 2008 06:54 PM

This thread is funny Some jokes here are really great


Another joke:
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.

Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you.
____________

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Oscarius
Oscarius


Famous Hero
*sleepy*
posted June 14, 2008 06:57 PM
Edited by Oscarius at 21:11, 14 Jun 2008.

What do a bunch of scotsmen do when its cold outside?
Huddle up around a candle.
What do the do when its REALLY cold outside?
Light the candle.
(srry for my english)
____________
Need moar avatars!

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Mamgaeater
Mamgaeater


Legendary Hero
Shroud, Flying, Trample, Haste
posted June 14, 2008 09:24 PM

A man walked into a bar and saw a gorilla behind the counter... he blinked twice and the gorilla said. "what, never seen a gorilla before?"
the man replied "no, i never thought the giraffe would sell this place."
____________
Protection From Everything.
dota

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Lexxan
Lexxan


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
posted June 14, 2008 09:33 PM

Lenny decides to talk a walk next to the River. While crossing a bridge, he sees a man looking over the bridge mutterting in himself: "27, 27, 27, 27, 27,..."

"Why do you keep repeating 27 ?" Lenny asks
Man:"Look over the bridge's edge and you'll know."

Lenny looks over the bridge's edge, when suddenly the man pushes him which causes Lenny to fall in the river. As Lenny submerges he hears the man yell: " 28, 28, 28, 28, 28,..."
____________
Coincidence? I think not!!!!

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Oscarius
Oscarius


Famous Hero
*sleepy*
posted June 14, 2008 09:35 PM

Quote:
Lenny decides to talk a walk next to the River. While crossing a bridge, he sees a man looking over the bridge mutterting in himself: "27, 27, 27, 27, 27,..."

"Why do you keep repeating 27 ?" Lenny asks
Man:"Look over the bridge's edge and you'll know."

Lenny looks over the bridge's edge, when suddenly the man pushes him which causes Lenny to fall in the river. As Lenny submerges he hears the man yell: " 28, 28, 28, 28, 28,..."


Ive heard many similar but its still good (Not so brutal though)

Also gongrats for the next poster as that will be the 100th post in this topic
____________
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